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“Dillon, please come home. I really need you, I miss you so much.”
Those were the words which he was replaying over and over in his head, ever since the last time Lucas rang him and he let it go to voicemail. He knew there was something not quite right just from the way he spoke, the way his voice cracked with emotion. He had known right there and then he had to come home, and soon.
He knew Grace wouldn’t be very happy about him and Frankie returning before she gave them permission to, but they were both clean from the drugs and in a much better place now. Just as he was contemplating whether or not to ask Frankie whether or not they should go home, his phone beeped with a text from Rex, telling him to answer his phone as he was going to ring him.
As expected, not even a minute later Rex called him and he answered virtually straight away.
“Dillon, I’m gonna need you and Frankie to come home as soon as you can.”
“What’s happened, is everything okay? Is Lucas okay?”
“I can’t tell you over the phone, but he really needs you right now.”
Dillon’s blood ran cold, that was even further confirmation that something was terribly wrong.
“I know something’s wrong, he left me a voice mail a couple of hours ago and he sounded really upset,” said Dillon. But he knew there was a problem standing in their way, something which couldn’t be ignored. “But what about Grace, she’ll be so annoyed with us if we came home without her permission.”
“Leave her to me, I’ll deal with her when she finds out. This is far more important. Anyway, she’s gonna be out of town until tomorrow morning so let’s not worry about that for now. Just come straight home and I’ll meet you at your place.”
“Okay, we’ll be there in a couple of hours, I’ll text you when we’re leaving.”
“Right, I’ll see you in a couple of hours,” said Rex, and hung up.
During the time he spent on the phone, Frankie had approached the sofa and had heard part of the conversation from his end and was looking at him questioningly. “What’s happened? How come Rex wants us to come home?”
“He said he couldn’t tell me over the phone, but Lucas left me a voicemail before. He sounded really upset, I can tell something isn’t right.” He replayed the voicemail for Frankie to listen to, and she agreed with him.
He told her what Rex had said about Grace being out of town, and him dealing with her when she found out they were back in the village.
“So that’s it, we can go home now?” Asked Frankie hopefully.
“Yeah, as soon as we’re packed we’ll leave,” said Dillon.
They both knew they had a lot of making up to do with their families and friends, now was the time to go home and put things right, to make amends. Now that they were both clean from the drugs, it was time for a fresh start for both of them.
When they arrived home a while later, they found Rex already waiting for them. He informed them that Lucas was back in hospital again but left out any specific details, only telling them that he had been asking for Dillon.
So that was where he was now, walking along the corridor and following the directions to the room number Rex told him he was in. He was getting more and more anxious the closer to Lucas he got, he knew deep down it must be serious or he would have been told by now.
As he approached the room he knew he was in, he took a moment to gather himself before pushing the door open. He saw that Lucas was asleep on the bed, so he sat down in one of the chairs next to his bed and waited for him to wake up. He looked exhausted, as though he’d cried himself to sleep. It broke his heart to see him like that.
As he took a look around the room, he noticed a few leaflets hidden behind the water jug on the table. He didn’t pay them any attention at first, but after a few more minutes of waiting for Lucas to wake up his curiosity won. He reached over to pick them up to read through thinking they were just your standard day to day hospital information leaflet.
As he picked them up, he gasped when he realised what they were information leaflets for: Brain tumours and brain surgery. Now he knew why Lucas was so desperate for him to come home, why Rex didn’t tell him before he came to the hospital to see him.
“Dillon?” He looked up at the bed with tears in his eyes to see that Lucas was awake and was watching him. “You’re here, I’ve missed you so much.”
“Lucas,” whispered Dillon, “What’s going on?” He held up the leaflets with shaking hands to show Lucas what he’d found.
As soon as Lucas saw what he had in his hands he sat straight up, and the panic set in. “I didn’t want you to find out like this, I’m so sorry! I collapsed again last week, and they found out I have a brain tumour. The best chance I have is brain surgery but it might not work.” By the time he’d finished his sentence he was gasping for breath, on the verge of a panic attack.
Dillon immediately threw the leaflets back down on the table and sat next to Lucas on the bed and drew him into a hug. “Hey come on now, breathe Lucas. If anyone can get through this you can, you’re stronger than you think you are. Once you’ve had the surgery, you’ll be better. I know it’s not gonna be easy but I’ll be by your side every step of the way.” He could feel the way Lucas’s body was shaking as he slumped against his chest, letting go of all the pain and fear he felt. He rubbed his back in calming circles until he got his breathing back under control and his heart stopped racing in panic.
It took a few minutes for Lucas to get himself back under control before Dillon reluctantly pulled away from him. He moved his hands up to his jaw, using his thumbs to wipe away any tears. It broke his heart to see the man he loved so upset, so broken. He had to remain strong for him, support him in any way he could.
“No, I’m not having the surgery! What’s the point in putting myself through all that if it’s not gonna work?” Lucas pulled away from Dillon and turned away, not willing to look him in the eye as he told him his decision, now wanting to see how much it would hurt him.
“Lucas please! You have to have the surgery, you have to believe it will work!” Dillon said in desperation. “Think of all the plans we made! Getting our own place, running our own bar with you as head chef and me as the bar manager, going on holidays whenever and wherever we like! We can still do all of those things when you’ve had the surgery, please don’t give up!”
“I’ve already made my decision, it’s not up to you or anybody else to tell me what to do with my body, I’m not a child anymore!”
Dillon knew Lucas well enough by now to know that he was putting walls up in his mind, so he could block it out. But he wouldn’t let that happen, not now. There was too much at stake if Lucas refused to have the surgery, it was literally life or death. It was his job to get through to him, he’d almost lost him twice already, he couldn’t risk it happening again.
“I know how scary this must be for you, but I can’t lose you. I love you so much, I’m not giving up on you. Not after everything we’ve been through. After everything that’s happened over the last couple of years, if we’ve managed to come through the other side of all that we can deal with this too. Together, as a team. I promise I will be there for you every step of the way, no matter what.”
Lucas turned back around, looking conflicted. “How do I know that you aren’t gonna do a runner when things get rough? This isn’t gonna be a quick fix you know.”
“I know, and I know I have a lot of making up to do for how I’ve treated you and behaved. I’m clean now, this is a chance for me to put things right, to be there for you whenever you need me.” Dillon was under no illusion that this was going to be easy, he knew they both had a lot to talk through. He knew the only way they could make this work was to be honest with each other about how they were feeling. “From now on there will be no more lies, no more running away from any problems. I’m in this for the long run.”
“Do you promise? It’s not gonna be easy, you know. I might have to wait a couple of months for the surgery, depending on how urgent it is. I’m gonna have to live with it, at least for a bit.”
Dillon reached out for Lucas’s hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it in comfort.
“I promise. I want to look after you.”
Lucas smiled for what felt like the first time in weeks, finally having that little glimmer of hope that everything was going to work out fine in the end. “Alright, I’ll have the surgery.”
The relief that Dillon felt was huge, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. “Oh that is so good to hear, I’m so glad you changed your mind. So, are we good?”
“I love you Dillon, of course we’re good!”
They both leant in towards each other at the same time, sharing a gentle kiss which meant so much to both of them. Dillon’s hand, the one which wasn’t holding Lucas’s, reached up to the back of his neck, threading his fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck. When they separated, Dillon noticed how exhausted Lucas looked. He shuffled back towards the head of the hospital bed and leant against the pillows, pulling Lucas back with him and easing him down so his head rested on his chest.
“How are you feeling now? Are you in any pain?” He looked down at him, trying to gauge how he was feeling.
“I’m just so tired all the time, I’ve not been sleeping well.” Lucas sighed, “I keep getting headaches a lot.”
Dillon pulled him further into him, running his free hand through his hair in comfort. “Try and get some sleep, okay? I’ll still be here when you wake up. I’m not going anywhere.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Ste had appeared at the window to the room looking questioningly at him. Dillon gave him a slight nod of the head to let him know things had gone well, that everything was going to be just fine.
Looking down again he noticed Lucas had made himself comfortable, wrapping his arm around his stomach as he had drifted off to sleep. With one final kiss on the forehead, he was quite content to stay exactly where he was, with the man he loved back in his arms where he belonged.