Chapter Text
“cheers–!”
the sound of glass clinking against each other and a reverberation of laughter exploding around him is enough to wake rin up from his daydream back into reality. his unfocused gaze, blurry from his daydream, immediately forms back into a clear view. he scrunches together the top center of his nose bridge with his pointer and thumb, as if it would help the jarring migraine he holds.
sitting up, rin stares at his empty wine glass in front of him– the only empty one at the table. he’s not in the mood for drinking; after a few years of living in america, he flew home for the first time, just landing in japan that very morning. but despite being used to plane rides by this point, the massive jetlag was catching up to him; and with the addition of not being able to sleep much during the trip, he felt as if he could die this very instant. a nice bed and some quiet would be amazing right now.
why is he even here in the first place?
he should just leave.
rin prepares his body, standing up, walking towards the exit doors. that is, until, he hears a familiar noise on his left side.
“rin–?”
what—?
he feels his heart instantly stop when hearing the voice behind him. he grits his teeth in response; agonizing the idea that he was recognized by him.
and for a few seconds, rin contemplates running– running far, far away. that’s the best option, right? i mean, his hotel is only a 20 minute walk; hell, how much would an immediate flight back to america be–?
“is it really you?”
he feels a tug on the back lower sleeve of his blazer, the grip getting harder after a moment.
rin’s heart started racing again— in silence, you’d be able to heart every beat. as mere milliseconds go by, he starts forming droplets of sweat on his neck and forehead.
”well, shit,” rin thinks, ”now i can’t leave.”
he turns his head back, being greeted with the sight of slightly slicked-back dark blue hair– as well as the same face he was constantly tormented by years ago. a familiar face that rin sight he could never forget; not even after death will the face of him wear off from his memory.
the man lets out a warm smile, followed by a small sigh of relief.
“it really is you, rin.”
you can see the emotion residing in his features. the look of “i’ve missed you” is written all over him, with the sigh of relief adding onto it. for a moment, tears start to well up in his eyes, but quickly rubbing it away to avoid any of them spilling out. he doesn’t notice it yet, but his nose is tinted a slight pinkish-red as well.
but the sight of his face makes rin feel like he wants to curl up in a hole and die.
if you were to ask rin nowadays what he thought about isagi yoichi, the number one praised athlete in the football world (other than him), he was known by journalists to immediately shut down the question. he would usually counter by rolling his eyes, stating “i have no obligation to respond,” or a, “there’s nothing to speak about.” either one of the two responses would always be rin’s go-to reply, because it immediately makes the interview uncomfortable, and they’d move on.
and yet, as much as rin puts on a blank face when isagi’s name is mentioned, it’s all a facade beneath it all.
the history of the two being formidable rivals to each other in their late teens isn’t a shock to anyone– in fact, before rin left for america, the tension between the two of them was the number one trending topic within the sports world. neither one of them would be able to escape hearing each other’s names for even a day– at one point, it got so infuriating for rin, he planned to lock himself within his house for a week, devising a plan to completely isolate himself to prohibit the chance of hearing that stupid name again. not that it worked though– as soon as he prepared his dinner and turned on the TV after locking his door for the 7 day vacation, it opened a news channel of isagi’s face.
he remembers almost breaking a window with the TV remote from the frustration.
but nobody truly knew what their relationship was.
sure, they were rivals. rin’s threatened his life every now and then on the field; but it’s not as if that was new for his personality. but people could never tell what they were outside of being rivals— they both saw each other’s worst side, along with bringing out the motivation in each other, but they didn’t establish a “friendship” with one another. they spent their last teenage years together, and even their early adult years, but you could say that for all of the blue lock participants too. to the public eye, the only notable trait about the two was their competitiveness to devour each other on the field.
but the public knew nothing.
they will never know how rin and isagi would exchanging glances in the locker room; the stares that were a little too long, and how rin felt like if he blinked, he would miss the small moment forever. he’ll never be able to forget the countless times he would himself drenched in sweat on the soccer field, always turning his head to find isagi right by his side, with the same exact appearance. the fleeting countless memories of isagi’s bright cerulean eyes constantly talking to him until nightfall as rin listened, with childish bickering in between. rin used to analyze every single face isagi would make to him— and if he could, rin would photograph every single one.
and most painfully, his brain could never allow him to shut the memory of the first time he realized isagi was more than just a “somebody” to him. he remembers the painful and anguishing realization— the denial of his feelings, the anger that came with, and the defeat he felt when it all sunk in. and even if he prayed every single day to get amnesia, it would still somehow come back to him.
nobody, except rin, will ever truly know the significance of him and isagi’s relationship.
but rin wasn’t sure how to define what they were either— they were more than just rivals, but simultaneously, less than friends. they never established being “friends”.
but rin desired him more than any label could ever possibly define them. but these thoughts could never be brought to life; not even if rin’s life was on the line.
because he never understood why. why he felt such an urge to wish for more than what they already had. it was perfect; yet a part of rin craved for more. and that was something he didn’t comprehend, because he couldn’t figure out why.
and so, rin moved.
just before christmas, at just 20 years old, rin had made the decision to move to america. he’s thought about it for years, but decided to finally take that step— with the goal none other than pursuing his dream of becoming the best striker in the world, he knew he couldn’t achieve it if he just stayed at home.
most people would be devastated to make such a big move, even if they decided it themselves. but to rin, he didn’t feel as if he was leaving anything behind.
although him and sae reconciled a year before, he was used to him being away for so long; along with his parents— but they were never close in the first place. he didn’t have any remarkable memories with his relatives either, so that completely crosses it off his memory.
he announced his decision just a few weeks before his flight; firstly to sae, then his parents. then news scattered around as fast as lightning.
sae, as unbothered as ever, gave him a pat on the back for encouragement. but unlike his brother, his parents gave him a warm hug, awkwardly applauding him for being “so brave”.
but the night before his departure flight, he’s reluctantly dragged forcefully out of the house by sae, and into his car.
“nii-chan,” rin protests, “my flight is tomorrow—“
“and?” sae retorts, cutting off rin’s sentence.
“it’s your last night in japan. come on.”
rin scoffs in defiance. this is NOT like his brother— if anything, he’d leave rin alone for the night, considering that’s what he always does. he’s far from the type of person to do spontaneous events.
after a few minutes of driving, rin can barely see out of the tinted windows, especially since it’s already 9PM. in a sudden instant, sae stops, and gets out. rin follows, but he finds himself in front of a… bar?
rin turns to his brother, albeit, confused. “nii-chan—“
“just go inside,” cutting rin off before he can start complaining, “and have fun.”
before rin can even ask anymore questions, sae gets back into his car, driving off within a few seconds. with the rev of his engine, he leaves rin in the dust.
”that goddamn idiot,” rin mutters under his breath, “if he’s tricked me somehow, i’m killing him when i get home.”
the exterior of the bar shines a string of warm-colored lanterns surrounding the large windows with the long black curtains draped closed on the inside. upon closer inspection, rin views a “CLOSED” sign on the glass doors.
“seriously? they’re closed? what the fuck am i here for?”
before rin can turn his head away and turn on his phone to call an uber, the door frantically swings open. and in one swift motion, the person tightly grabs rin’s wrist, and pulls him inside.
“what the hell—?!”
before he can take another breath, a “GOODBYE, RIN!” banner hangs in front of rin’s eyes, with the ugliest shade of green as the background, followed by signatures all around the title with even more eye-sore shades of the rainbow. as rin sweeps the side of the banner out of his vision, he’s greeted with familiar faces— all from the blue lock team.
being blunt, rin was never the type to.. fully remember people’s names. he remembers bachira as “the dumbass”, kunigami as “wannabe hero”, nanase as “country boy”… you get the gist; rin has awful memory. so when he sees all these familiar faces with unfamiliar names, he’s taken aback for a second.
but in front of him stands isagi yoichi.
you can tell by the big smile on his face, with the look of a child patiently waiting to reveal a big surprise, extends his arms in front of rin to reveal a cake— a red velvet cake.
“this is for you, rin,” isagi joyfully announces.
red velvet is rin’s favorite flavor, along with not too much frosting, with the words “good luck” written in black on the top of the cake. you can tell it was homemade by the uneven layers, along with the bumpy icing.
albeit, rin is… embarrassed. he’s never been thrown such a surprise before; how should he react? he’s not very close with anyone here— hell, he can barely remember their last names, why are they here for celebrate for him? admittedly, he is a slightly delighted to see a cake, but he’s been on a diet recently. should he reject the cake? tell everyone to go home? what does he say? what would nii-chan say? what should he do? why is this—
he had to say something, anything before his mind clouded his decisions. he takes a loud gulp.
“…thanks,” rin utters out, not knowing what to say. god, saying “thanks” out loud was so embarrassing to rin.
he runs a hand through his hair, trying to look away from isagi’s gaze to avoid embarrassment. but the rest of the night was a blur; the only recollection rin has of the rest of the party is the amount of shots everyone was taking to the verge of alcohol poisoning, how the cake was slightly burnt on the edges of the cake, and how he, without realizing, had his eyes on only one person the entire night.
but he couldn’t miss him. he was leaving tomorrow, after all. he couldn’t depart with regrets. it would just be a complete burden to him.
but as the night went on, and as the more shots everyone took, his memory faded deeper and deeper into a haze— until he finally gains consciousness— where he’s outside of isagi’s apartment.
admittedly, rin took a few shots that night. he’s not a lightweight for sure, but he also knows his limits; around three to four shots was taken that night, then he stopped. but somehow, his memory is foggy. as he regains more of his consciousness around him, he looks to his side— there lies isagi, with his arm swung across rin’s back for support, as the rest of his body is limp.
as rin’s right arm was trying to hoist isagi’s body up to prevent him from sinking onto the ground, he uses his left hand to swipe his keycard, then opens the door. the smell of isagi’s apartment hits rin like a truck— as if he was spraying an overwhelming amount of air freshener. as rin drags isagi’s body around, he takes in the sight of his apartment. the random assortment of dirty laundry scattered around the living room, the few dishes he was too lazy to wash before leaving, a cake recipe stamped onto his fridge with the words “you got this!!” written at the end for moral support, the plants he’s decided to take care of on his shelf (that looks like he hasn’t watered them in decades), and the lavender-scented freshener laying on the living room table that he definitely sprayed way too much of in order to feel like his place was clean—
rin sighs.
it takes a moment, but finally, rin is able to lay isagi into the top of his bed. he inhales, coughing at the scents, and exhales back. he contemplates for a second.
“i can’t just leave him like this,” rin thinks.
and so, he lets isagi lie for a second, leaving the bedroom. rin piles up all his laundry, throwing it in the washer, and starting it with the other pile of clothes that was already in it. he soaks hot water onto the dishes left behind, scrubbing them to make sure no residue was left, then putting them on the drying rack. he waters his plants— which somehow aren’t dead yet— and places the plants by the largest window for the sunlight to beam on them in the morning.
but to rin, this was strange. from what he knew about isagi, he was messy every now and then, but not this frequent. he knew his parents were especially close with isagi, so they’d check up on him, no? that’s what parents should do, right?
he brushes off the thought, walking back into the bedroom.
“isagi,” rin says, “i’m leaving now.”
he’s not even fully sure if isagi can hear him at this point. the man looks asleep, if not dead. his eyes are closed, mouth slightly agape, and his breathing is slow. the illumination from the hallway light shines slightly on his face, letting his soft features show. and it’s only for rin, at this very moment.
but as rin settles into this view, a part of his chest hurts.
hurts—?
no, he shouldn’t.
he can’t feel like this now. after all the planning, the process of getting ready to move, how he’s planning his future— he shouldn’t, no, can’t even consider taking it all back.
it doesn’t matter if he won’t see isagi, or anyone in blue lock, for that matter. they were all just stepping stones for him to become great; and they all filled their part. and so was isagi; he was just an obstacle, a rival. someone that pushed rin to become better. someone that motivated rin to become the best he could ever be— and he completed his duty already.
isagi yoichi is just. another. player.
he will meet tens— no, hundreds of other players. he will erase isagi yoichi from his mind, meet new rivals, and—
“rin.”
the simple call of his name snaps rin’s attention from his thoughts to isagi, who is now sitting up on the bed, looking up at him. through his disoriented and flushed expression, he speaks up again.
“is this the last time i’m going to see you?”
rin goes completely silent.
at first, he doesn’t know exactly what to say. why does it matter if this is the last time? will isagi miss me? will he say that he’ll miss me? will he beg me to stay? but even if he begs me to, i’m not dropping my plans for him. why would i?
… right?
rin stutters out.
“i doubt it. but for the time being, yeah.”
“oh.”
…”oh”??
what is THAT supposed to mean?
isagi continues, “it just doesn’t feel real.”
“you’ve always been by my side since we were 16 and 17. it’s just not normal.”
(say it, isagi.)
“i just…”
(please.)
“… wish the best for you, rin. congrats.”
… what was rin thinking?
“don’t get even more lukewarm while i’m gone, idiot.”
(fuck. not like this.)
“alright, rin.”
(stop.)
“do you need help tomorrow at the airport?”
(tell me you want me to stay.)
“no, i’ll be alright. sae will be with me.”
(why aren’t you saying it?)
“oh… alright.”
“well, i hope your flight goes well tomorrow.”
“… goodnight, isagi.”
rin walks himself out the door, not looking back even once. he didn’t have the courage to.
those were the last words the two exchanged.
not until 7 years later, that is.