Chapter Text
The negotiations were slow going. Remus quite hated his role as carrier pigeon between the Order and the various werewolf packs he had dealt with in the past year. The Order were far too demanding, and the packs were, rightfully, too wary to place their trust in Wixen. Yet once they had reached some kind of agreement, or when the Moon interrupted them with its soon approaching rise from the East, Remus would begin to enjoy this mission greatly.
Though Sirius got upset when he tried to explain it, spending the full Moon with actual werewolves was euphoric. Let alone in an enchanted forest such as this. Already, the pack was preparing around him, stripping down and making up nest-like beds for them to sleep in once morning came. The transformation was less jarring when all their bones break together, and their magic ebbed and flowed through the pack, soothing and healing and strengthening their forms until Remus could hardly remember why he ever wished to be a normal Wizard.
There was good reason the Order wanted werewolf packs on their side rather than the Dark. Alone, a werewolf's magic was at its highest form alongside the full Moon - their Wixen magic malformed yet bursting from their fingertips then flowing from their fur, making them resistant to many spells, no matter how dark or powerful. In the past, before Wixen figured out how to track werewolves in their human form, a pack was never easily defeated. Often not at all.
And so, Remus was keen to get his Wizard problems out of the way and prepare for the pack's soon-to-commence hunt. He could feel the Moon climbing beyond the horizon, making him eager to escape the worries of the War, to concede to a mind that had only worry about the chase-
Remus felt the world shift.
It was as though the world were a snow globe; the twinkling snow settled at the base of a plastic winter scene before the globe was shaken. Remus could feel the air around him surge and twist, like plastic snow in water as gravity takes hold, felt his perspective warp as if the light bouncing from the forest that surrounded him to his eyes was refracted, off ever so slightly.
He paused, mid-sentence to the quiet leader of the pack he was diplomatically conversing with. She wrinkled her nose at his clear distraction, looking around herself for whatever he had noticed. Remus tried to blink away the feeling.
That was when the world folded in on itself.
It was a split second, and the sight was gone when he blinked but the ache in his chest remained like deep regret and guilt, and the image of the forest around him with the light and colour changed, almost inverted, burned into his eyes, making him dry heave and stumble.
For a brief moment he could smell James' obnoxious cologne, and his stomach churned again, confused-
Then his senses were assaulted again, the world flashing dark and light in his eyes and that bruising feeling in his chest again, as if he had been sobbing and heaving for hours and was finally taking a full breath. Remus fell to his knees when a light citrus perfume washed over him, as if Lily had just passed by-
Before he could catch his breath, another attack came, though he doubted he would have noticed this one if it weren't for the others assaulting him. Strange spots appeared in his vision and his chest twisted now, a light but sharp sensation before leaving entirely. Remus still felt the ache of the others, sinking in his heart.
The pack leader knelt in front of him with worry etching her face. Remus tried to explain it but words wouldn’t come, his mouth opening uselessly as he clutched at his chest. She inspected him closely, scenting the air before stiffening as her gaze locked wide-eyed towards the horizon.
"Are you hurt?" Her voice was rough, almost a growl now but her eyes were full of concern. Remus was thankful this was one of the more friendly packs he had encountered. He pressed his fingers against his sternum, searching for an invisible wound, before shaking his head hesitantly, and rising to his feet. He knew what she was asking.
Once the Moon began to rise, he forced himself to remove his sparse clothing, mind reeling as he wondered what on earth it could all mean, what strange magic had assailed him. Maybe they had both tried to send him a patronus and the forest magic had reacted badly with the intrusion? Perhaps something had gone wrong, maybe James and Lily were out of hiding and involved in some spell or ritual with the Order? He searched his memories of past Auror meetings, remembering a few risky blood rituals needed to dispel some Dark magic somewhere, perhaps James and Lily were somehow involved? Maybe they were injured, he remembered some Pureblood girl back at school who claimed she could feel it when her boyfriend was hit with a bludger? Was that more common magic than he knew it to be? Or maybe it was bad, maybe it was really, really bad and he should apparate to Grimmauld or-
“Wizard!”
His head snapped towards the pack leader, who sat crossed legged alongside the rest of her family. “Now is not the time for your worries. Sit. Prepare.”
Remus' thoughts were still racing as he sat, thinking of all the times James and Lily had cast a simple charm on him, or how tangible their magic was during a full Moon, wondering if he had accidentally cursed them all together somehow, or that, just maybe, there was a stag in the forest and oranges in the crates of food the pack had brought for the morning and he was imagining things, heightened senses making him look a fool.
He tries to take a deep breath to stop the spiralling, clear his mind. Around him, the other wolves watched, concerned or wary, but still their magic welcoming and surrounding as he slowly sank into the comfort. He resolved to investigate the strange magic once the Moon fell. For now, the celestial was just in view, casting a hazy light through the trees and Remus looked to the stars around it to calm himself.
He thought of Sirius when he saw the stars, which wasn’t exactly surprising. While he and the star named man weren’t on the best of terms with the strain of the war, his presence was still a comfort even if from the sky. It was calming to think of how they'd stargaze as young teenagers. Sirius would actually appreciate his astronomy-obsessed family for once. Thanks to them he knew the constellations and all their stories.
One clear night towards the end of their time at Hogwarts, they had climbed atop the astronomy tower. Remus would pick a constellation out of the sky at random for Sirius to regal their story. Sirius loved Gemini the most, the story of two half-brothers Castor and Polydeuces, mortal and immortal. Remus loved how dramatic Sirius' storytelling was, reciting these ancient Wixen myths like poetry. The twins in the sky calmed him, not only from their beautiful clarity out here in the clear countryside sky, but for the memories they stirred. He and Sirius on the roof of the astronomy tower, brooms perched as precariously as themselves on the old stone as Sirius dared to stand and gesture wildly when the tale reached its climax. Castor is cursed dead, and Polydeuces knows as he feels his brother's magic depart. Remus patiently waited for the ending, when the Gods granted the brothers immortality in the sky. He had heard this one many times before. Remus smiles at the stars now, smiles at the memory, smiles at the story of brotherhood and-
"Oh, cursed be this world!" Sirius fell to his knees, sliding down the roof and Remus let out a high-pitched yelp before Sirius miraculously stopped, sticking firm to the stone with a charm.
Remus just glared at him, though it didn’t last as Sirius went on with his soliloquy.
“Brother of mine, parted by blood yet here we be bonded by hearts,” his fists clenched, and face contorted in false pain “An ache-
Remus was quick to cast a levitation charm when Sirius’ propensity to stick to stone began to fail, laughing as his dramatics faltered and he flailed in the air. He was waved around a little before being set back down on the roof.
Sirius reached out, wrapping a hand around Remus’ arm and holding tight.
“Is that enough to convince you the roof is most definitely not safe?”
Sirius pretended to consider that for a moment, tilting his head before smirking. “My retelling isn’t finished, you have to hear the whole thing, Remus, can’t believe you’ve never- “
“‘Oh, darling, you never studied The Ancient Most Noble and Musty Wizarding Myths as a child, you must be illiterate’.” The impression of a Pureblood made Sirius scoff with fake indignation.
He began to drawl “Well, I bet you only know the muggle versions, you filthy half-blood.”
Remus fixed him an unimpressed stare, “Actually, I don’t know any astrology stories because I’m not a stuck-up prick named after a star.”
“You really never learn them in muggle Hogwarts?”
“There’s no muggle- just get on with the story!”
With a dramatic roll of his eyes, Sirius continued, “An ache in my chest as your mortal soul torn from this realm, your magic be drained and mine mourns your loss-
Loss.
Loss.
Memories swarmed his mind.
A recently turned werewolf from a mission last winter, asking him if lycanthropy caused your magical core to connect to others, claiming she felt when her friend was hurt on a recent hunt.
His bones were creaking.
Sirius jolted awake at their apartment one night, twisted in the sheets as he clutched to his chest. A few days later, the Prophet presented a harrowed looking Orion and Walburga Black as they urged anyone for information on their missing heir. Sirius looked grim but not as surprised as one should be.
His skin was stretching.
“Half-blood?” an older Gryffindor sneered at him before walking away, abruptly ending their passionate conversation about Runes, and what Remus thought the beginnings of a friendship. A first-year Peter rolled his eyes at the retreating student before noticing blatant Remus’ confusion.
“Don’t take it personally, Travis’ family are proper Pureblood superstitionists.”
“Do we have superstitions?”
“Old Wixen beliefs about our magical cores, some bollocks about ‘threads’ and ‘bonds’ connecting those close to you or something. He’s stupid enough to think befriending you means your mudblood’ll rub off on him. Like he’s so purebred himself.”
“Connect you how?”
Peter shrugged, “When they’re hurt? I think it's absolute trite, I didn’t magically know when my grandfather passed away, now did I?”
Lily. James.
James, dark hair, bright eyes, windswept, loud, laughing, smirking, breathing-
Lily, auburn locks, green eyes, quick-witted, shy smiles, mumbled jokes, living-
James and Lily. Lily and James. Lily, Lils, Prongs-James, Oh His James and His Lily and Harry- Harry- Sirius- Peter, what of them all, what of them, dead or alive- dead or alive, DEAD OR ALIVE, DEAD-
James. Lily. Harry.
Remus’ spine had now doubled in size. The Moon stared down at him without pity for his loss. His skin burned as celestial light brought forward thick, wiry hair. His jaw bled as teeth crushed and elongated. The green of the forest flattened out to grey, even as his tears blurred sharp eyes.
He begged the Moon for mercy. It had been many years since he had spoken to Her. As a child, he begged for Her to release him from the pain, from the curse, to let him just sleep through the night as he did the rest, so tired, so scared.
The Moon was no more forgiving now, unwavering in Her ascent and uncaring in the face of her subject’s panic, grief, pain beyond that of his bones breaking and reforming.
Please let me leave, my family, please, please, Lily and James and Harry need- help or- Sirius or Peter need- please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE, JAMES, LILY-
The Moon denied his request. His mind vanished into the forest.