Chapter Text
It started four years ago in the spring 2015, It was another nothing school day. The only difference from the ordinary was there were allegedly two new students; they were twins though only one was of note to me at the time. it was his first day and already rumors had began spreading that he had been expelled from his last school No one knew why, but that didn't stop speculation most said it was from a violent attack on another student, but others say that he was weird, off-putting, and had a staring problem making some believe he was a pervert.
I ended up talking with my friends about it, seeing what they had to say and if they’d seen the guy? One of them had I think it was Keith. He said the guy was really tall but scrawny and looked like a strong gust of wind could carry him away. We were bullies not something I'm particularly proud of but it was a way I could fight my own insecurities. I honestly wish I could tell my younger self not to do that but I can't go back no matter how much I want to. They'd probably still be alive if I could.
We decided to make this new guy a Target. During lunch Keith pointed him out, he was sitting alone at a table and unfortunately he wasn't somebody new, At least to me I recognized him, Jeffery Satsujin. We used to be friends when we were younger, around seven or so, but he moved away and we hadn't spoken since.
It took me a minute to even Realize it was him. He didn't have long hair back then so I thought at first it was his sis- brother, his brother Liu. But no it was him but seeing him like this was weird. He was one of those kids who wouldn't be able to sit down for very long, very hyper and energetic, but now he was sitting alone completely quiet ignoring everyone around him. That should have been a sign that something was off.
But regardless of this weirdness surrounding him and what could have happened to change his personality we still went with the plan to go and mess with him. Using the rumors that we had heard we had poked at him for being a Peeping Tom and how many boobs did he see, we also used the fact that he was fairly feminine to say that he was doing it to look like a girl to peep on them more. None of it seemed to bother him in the sense that what we were saying wasn't bothering him more but that we were there at all interrupting his free time away from class.
He completely ignored us continuing to do something with a notebook he was either doing homework or drawing in it and I don't remember, but at some point because we weren't getting the reaction we wanted Troy had grabbed the notebook but before he could even fully pull it back out of Jeff’s reach, Jeff finally reacted to something that we were doing and had grabbed Troy's arm causing him to drop the notebook, but we finally had his attention and he actually looked up at us that's when he noticed me, His mood shifted from annoyance to I don't know how to describe it other than subtle excitement, that he was happy to see me but didn't want to make it obvious. That look he gave me sent chills up my spine.
after he got his notebook back we ended up leaving not wanting things to get physical but mostly to avoid having to deal with the principal again, I don't want to have to deal with the consequences of him calling my parents, forcing me to see that disappointed stare they give me The look of “this is why our careers will always matter more than you ever will”. I dealt with this look for years and yet I never learned until it was too late. I think some part of me Just wanted the attention no matter how awful it made me feel.
During the rest of the month we still occasionally mess with him but that same awful feeling of him staring at me was starting to eat away at me, even when he wasn't around I could still feel him watching from somewhere I couldn't see, I'd just be walking to class through the hall when I get that feeling and I turn around only to see something duck behind a corner. But anytime I’d checked, no one was there even if it didn't make sense that he'd be able to disappear like that. Felt like I was going crazy. Maybe he wasn't there, maybe I was just paranoid but, Unlike back then Where it could have been just the trick of my imagination. Nowadays, if I feel like I've being stalked, it's absolutely him.
As one would imagine I started getting cold feet. I didn't really want to mess with him anymore. I didn't want to be around him. but the others saw him as an easy target after all he didn't fight back other than grabbing anything attempted to be stolen from him but we learned to just stop doing that. I didn't want to tell them that I was getting cold feet, I didn't because they were my only friends and I didn't want them to turn on me. They probably wouldn't have, but I didn't want to take that chance.
There was one day that we were all irritated I don't remember why, but we were and once again we were taking out this frustration on Jeff or More specifically their frustration I again didn't really want to be around him, this day felt particularly off maybe it was the aggravation in the air or whatever but I just had this feeling something bad was going to happen and it did. I don't remember how it escalated but Troy maybe trying to get some kind of reaction at Jeff had grabbed him by the hoodie and shoved him against a locker, Normally we try not to get physical as none of us are Fighters, and we're not about to get our shit rocked in front of everyone, but I guess Troy maybe saw that Jeff was pretty scrawny and probably couldn't fight back.
If that was the case then Troy was just wrong, Jeff had used the fact that he was up against the wall to get leverage enough to kick Troy down, had he not been up against a wall he probably wouldn't have been able to kick Troy down so easily given both troys weight and Jeff looking like a walking birch twig. And as if things could not get any worse, Liu showed up and Liu was tall though not as tall as Jeff, but he was Way stronger, Athletic and had a reputation for getting into fights. At this point I just wanted to run, but the others had different ideas. Because Keith had pulled out a Pocket knife. I think he knew that we were absolutely not going to win a fair fight.
It All Happened way too fast, I thought Keith was going to attack Liu but surprisingly Keith was not the only one with a weapon. Keith was shaking this entire time I don't think he planned for this to escalate as much as it had I don't think any of us were planning on that, Jeff however did not have any of that shakiness or unease, and had swiftly stabbed Keith in the shoulder with what I assumed to be a screwdriver or a box cutter I don't even know where he got that from unless it was in his hoodies pocket.
After that everything was just a blur. At some point we were in the principal's office. I don't think Keith was there, he was probably in the nurses or something I don't fully remember. and the next thing I know my moms driving me home, Of course she wasn't mad Or even upset as that would imply she thought I was better than this. just disappointed as she always is, when ever I fuck up. but this time I didn't do anything I wanted to run. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want it to escalate But that didn't matter. I was there. I didn't run. Somebody got stabbed and I was seen as an accomplice.
I got suspended of course all of us were for around a week or so. I spent the first few days almost exclusively rotting away in my room self-Isolating to avoid having to think about what happened. He looked happy when he’d stabbed Keith why did he look happy? But one morning my mother forced me to get ready for a birthday party I didn't know I was invited to. or even knew was happening. It was not negotiable. I had to go, I assumed it was maybe one of her coworkers' kids, there have been times where I've been forced to go to their parties. So I assume that's what was happening and honestly it would have been so much better if that was what was really happening.
When we arrived my mom sat back in the car and had me go up to the door alone, This wasn't the first time she ditched me at one of these things, So I Wasn't surprised at that, But I was startled to see who greeted me at the door, Jeff, Oh God it was his birthday, and unlike at school that distance subtle excitement was no longer distant or even attempted to be hidden he was ecstatic to see me, and he grabbed my hand welcomed me in and told me that the party was mostly in the backyard and to go sit down, that I was early and the stuff wasn't fully set up that'd take him a minute but he'd come and see me when he was done. It just clicked to me that this is the first time I've heard him speak since we were kids. I didn't realize it but the entire month that we were bothering him he hadn't spoken a single time. His chattiness and overly friendly attitude was similar to how he used to be back then, but Again something was just off.
I was then ushered to the backyard where some of those white fold-out tables were, his father on the grill cooking I guess Burgers Maybe hotdogs. The grill itself looked a little worse for wear. But then I saw Liu he was helping set something up, when he to noticed me and shot me a nasty glare, the feeling was Mutual I didn't want to be there as much as he didn't want me to be there. Then from behind approached their mother. her bright blond hair contrasting with the rest of the family's jet black. Her personality was the complete opposite of my own moms she was warm, bubbly and caring. I wish mine was like that.
She sat me down at the table nearest to the grill, she told me how Jeff and I used to be friends, and that my mom and her planned to rekindle our friendship to avoid any more drama in the future. I know she meant well but that only made me feel trapped, if I didn't refriend Jeff I was probably going to be forced to hang out with him regardless of how I felt. She then left bringing Liu with her to grab something inside, then Mr. Satsujin called out to Jeff asking him to ‘man the grill for a minute’. This left me alone with him, and I was sat right next to the grill. I hoped he would have just focused on the grill and do what his dad told him to, but he only had a quick look over before turning his attention to me.
The fact that I was sitting down made him feel even taller and more intimidating, when he spoke he sounded almost manic, He told me how he's been waiting all these years to see me again, how he loved the way I was giving him attention, but what he didn't like was the other two he didn't enjoy them, he said I should stop being friends with them, after all he's a better friend than they will ever be, that i only needed him, That he loves me in a way nobody else will, and how he was surprised that I was able to notice him watching me at school, Because most people don't even notice when he does that to them. I was being confessed to, In the most obsessive and stalkerish way possible.
At this point I was panicking, I was alone, I felt trapped, I felt small, I was scared, and I just called him a freak and yelled at him I said I didn't want to be friends with him I didn't want to be around him he was terrifying And that I was forced to be here and if I could choose not to be I wouldn't have came. That caused him to pause for a second. This wasn't the answer or reaction he was hoping for. He then grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me closer to him so he can yell at me about how he had waited so long and I ruined it for him. I used to love him and they did this, they made me not like him anymore, it was their fault I didn't accept his confession.
I didn't know what to do this was crazy and I just shoved him off of me unfortunately the grill was right there, He had slammed into and it was old and worn down and the propane Used to keep it burning, exploded Engulfing both of us in flames, Everything after was a blur I think there was screaming I just remembered I was in Agony and everything was orange, yellow and red. Before it all went black.
I don't remember how long I spent in the hospital. Could have been weeks could have been a month or two I don't know. It was all a cold Haze of painkillers and doctors talking about whatever doctors talk about. Now most of the left side of my body will forever have burn damage. That eye has a permanent squint and I can no longer use the hand on this side, as my Left arm is completely limp from the wrist down. By comparison I got it off easy, when I was leaving the hospital I got a quick glance at Jeff his whole right side was burnt, his eye was milky and drooping down, two slits for where his nose used to be and giant gash on that side of his mouth. Even if it was only for a quick second we had locked eyes and I could feel the burning hatred and rage boiling inside of him, but I could tell it wasn't for me. It was for the people he believed took me away from him.
I don't know the full details but it was less than a week Before I heard his home burned down and as far as anybody else knows his brother Liu is the only Survivor. There was a slow burning accidental electric fire. It was late at night if everybody had been woken up then they would have probably survived but he hadn't woken them up because when He saw it he ran away. I don't blame him for running after what happened the last time he was near fire he had every reason to be afraid. But as far as I know I'm the only one who knows this. legally he is dead despite no one ever finding his body.
He lost everything and I think that's what gave him the motivation for what he did next, After all he hated them for “taking me away from him” It shouldn't have been surprising what he did to them but I didn't think he was capable of murder like sure he was a stalker and had some violent Tendencies. but murder? I now know why he was expelled from his last school, the same thing that he did to Keith he did to somebody else. knowing that, it should have been obvious that if he was open to stab someone he didn't care about, that if he actually hates someone this reaction would be Significantly more violent.
But I never thought he was capable of murder especially to the level of brutality of what he did to them. I again don't know the full details but I was told it was gruesome. And I was also told that being friends with them could make me a target of this unknown serial killer.
The police of course didn't think it was him after all legally dead, but given that we were bullies they suspected it could have been Revenge from One of our other victims but I know better. It's been 4 years I'm Not Dead Because he never planned on killing me. After all he claims to love me. and he'll make sure no one will ever take me away from him again. Because he loves me and I fear I'm starting to love him too.
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