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“You need to stop,” Kakashi panted. “You’re making a mistake.”
“I’m not making a mistake. You’re coming with me,” Anko said, spinning the kunai in her hands. “Clothing optional.”
Kakashi stood in his office, facing off with Anko, his own hands also occupied with kunai. His shredded Hokage robes fluttered around him as he dodged an attack. Just as he was about to disarm her, Genma was flying through the air from the left to tackle Anko, snarling, “He’s mine!”
Anko went down, but managed to get her feet between them and kick Genma off of her. “Fuck you! You’ll never love him like I do!”
Kurenai, who was laying on the ground and slowly recovering from being knocked out by Gai, sluggishly said, “Kakashi… be my… valentine…”
To Kakashi’s left, Gai watched with wide eyes. “What is wrong with them?”
“I knew I shouldn’t have taken that dare,” Kakashi said, but he felt a rush of relief Gai, at least, was maintaining his sanity.
“Quick, while they’re distracted—let’s go!” Gai grabbed Kakashi by the arm and pulled him toward the window.
Anko and Genma were grappling on the floor now, and Genma bit out, “You wish you were good enough to love Kakashi!”
“I’m his fucking soulmate!” Anko yelled.
Kurenai, from her spot on the floor, just said something that sounded like ‘valentime.’
Kakashi looked at Gai’s wheelchair and said, “Maybe the window isn’t—”
“No time!” Gai easily boosted himself up onto the windowsill and then chucked his wheelchair out first. It had barely hit the ground, somehow completely unharmed, before Gai was hurling himself after it, landing next to it on his hands. “Come on!”
Wondering what the hell that wheelchair was made of, Kakashi landed beside him, only to hear a feminine voice shriek, “Hokage-sama!” Another voice joined, then another, and a group of civilians barreled toward him. “I love you!”
Gai looked at Kakashi. “Let’s go. Fast.”
They both vanished.
Gai rolled back and forth in Kakashi’s spacious living room, stopping occasionally to make thoughtful hums.
Kakashi lifted his head from his hands from where he sat on his couch. “Gai, what the hell was in that bottle?”
“Your guess is as good as mine, my friend.”
It had all started out simple enough. Gai, Genma, Anko, and Kurenai had all shown up at his office with a large bottle of sake, insisting on Kakashi taking the night off. The game of Truth or Dare had been Anko’s idea. When it was finally Kakashi’s turn, he had chosen Truth.
“Is there anyone you have feelings for right now?” Genma asked, grinning.
“Ooooooh.” Kurenai was the drunkest of all. “This should be good.”
Kakashi had looked at them all with narrowed grey eyes. Actually, there was somebody he had feelings for. But he wasn’t going to tell them before he told her. Instead, he’d said those fateful words: “Fine. I’ll do a dare instead.”
The rest of them had put their heads together to find a suitable dare. At some point, Genma went to the liquor cabinet in the back of the office in search of more booze. Holding up a bottle marked only with a heart, he’d said, “What’s this?”
Anko had grinned a vicious grin. “I don’t know, but he’s drinking it.”
Then things had gone crazy. The moment Kakashi swallowed the disgustingly sweet formula, his friends had become ravenous… for him. His signature aloofness had been no match for it. And now that he was safe in his quarters, the situation felt overwhelming.
“Gai,” he said, “Is it really possible there’s such thing as a love potion?”
“I don’t know, Rival. But I think you know who we need to go to next.”
There was only one medic in the village Kakashi trusted, and Gai knew that. Running his hand through his already-mussed hair, Kakashi asked, “What if it affects Sakura, too?”
There was also the little matter of Sakura being the precise person Kakashi hadn’t wanted to admit he had feelings for… but that was beside the point.
“I’ll go in first and have her put on a mask. Maybe that will stop it from working on her.” Smiling a big, toothy smile, Gai added, “Besides, it didn’t work on me. Maybe it’s weakening.”
Kakashi nodded, standing. “Okay. Let’s go.” He moved toward the door, but Gai stopped him with a hand on his arm.
Looking up at him, Gai said, “If you have to fight anybody off… well, it might not be good for the village for the Hokage to be seen knocking out civilians and loyal ninja.”
“Good point.” Disappearing momentarily into his bedroom, Kakashi came out only a few minutes later—but he wasn’t Kakashi. He was Sukea, with brown hair, pale eyes, and distinctive purple marks on his face.
Gai raised his bushy brows. “I’ll never get over how fast you can disguise yourself.”
“Let’s go.”
On the way to Sakura’s house, they were able to avoid several groupings of civilians, but not the ANBU pod that caught up to them. Tenzo practically had hearts in his eyes as he clasped his Tiger mask and professed his love in the form of a sonnet. Not a good sonnet.
It took another ten minutes to take care of Tenzo and the rest. Kakashi was grateful the ninja who were coming after him seemed reluctant to hurt him, perhaps because they ‘loved’ him so much.
When they reached Sakura’s house, thankfully only chased by a few more easy-to-lose civilians, Kakashi hid out on her roof while Gai knocked at the door. Kakashi listened carefully to what was going on down below.
“Gai-sensei? What are you doing here so late?” She sounded sleepy.
“I’m sorry for waking you, but it’s an emergency! Please put on this mask.”
“Why?”
“Because a friend is waiting on the roof to see you, and we think he may be… contagious.” Gai’s words must’ve been convincing enough, because after a few moments, he called out, “She’s ready!”
Kakashi dropped down to the ground. When he straightened, a medical-masked Sakura in pajamas and fuzzy slippers was looking at him.
Her brow furrowed. “Who are you?” Eyes narrowing, she stepped closer. “Haven’t I met you before?”
Oh, right—he’d teased all of Team 7 when they were children using this disguise. Not really wanting to piss Sakura off by revealing who Sukea really was, he smiled blandly and said, “I’m Sukea. Maybe you’ve seen me around.”
Sakura looked doubtful, but Gai spoke before she could say anything. “We need to get inside before anyone else comes.”
The urgency in his voice seemed to snap Sakura into full alertness, and she ushered them inside. Once they had the door locked behind them, she crossed her arms and said, “Okay, somebody tell me what’s going on.”
“Hey!” Gai exclaimed before Kakashi could reply. “The potion isn’t working on her! Good idea with the mask.”
“Potion?” Sakura looked from Gai to Kakashi, waiting for an explanation.
Kakashi sighed, sitting down on one of her overstuffed chairs, while Sakura perched nervously on the couch, and Gai sat in his chair between them. Kakashi explained what had happened as quickly as possible.
Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose. “So, you thought it was a good idea to drink an unmarked bottle?”
“Actually, it was marked.” Kakashi cringed. “With a heart.”
Flailing her hands slightly in the air, Sakura said, “What if that was something from the second Hokage? He made all sorts of dangerous concoctions and seals. It could’ve killed you.” Standing, she huffed out of the room and then returned with a medic kit, sitting next to Kakashi. As she talked, she began to do things like shine a light in his eyes, put a tongue depressor in his mouth, and used a thermometer to take his temperature. “Nothing seems to be wrong with you.”
“I feel fine,” Kakashi said. “Except for the fact everyone in the village is rabidly in love with me.”
“I wonder why Gai-sensei was the only one who wasn’t affected?” Before either of them could answer, she continued, “Sukea, would you recognize the heart marking on the bottle if I showed it to you again?”
“Yes.” Which was a good thing, because going back to his office for the bottle was probably not a good idea.
Sakura abruptly stood. “Time to go to the library.”
Sakura, Kakashi, and Gai all traveled as quickly as possible, not to the regular part of the public library, but to the wing only certain highly-ranked ninja had access to. Sakura let Gai in with her own personal key, and then Gai opened a window for Kakashi so he wouldn’t have to walk past any potential ‘lovers’ in the library.
By the time Kakashi was standing next to Gai, Sakura had pulled several books and was flipping through one of them. “No, not this one,” she mumbled, shutting the book with a little bit of force, which sent a puff of dust out of it. Sakura sneezed a powerful sneeze, at the end of which her mask was hanging from one ear, and she had a startled look on her face as her eyes darted to Kakashi.
“Careful—” Gai warned.
Kakashi held up his hands between him and Sakura, waiting for the potion to take effect and make her crazy. “Now, wait a second…”
“It’s okay,” Sakura said, smiling slowly as nothing seemed to happen. “I don’t feel any different. Maybe the potion is already fading.”
Both men sighed in relief as Sakura returned to her books, placing her mask to the side. Kakashi and Gai looked at each other and shrugged, and Kakashi asked, “Is there anything I can—”
“Shh!” Sakura hissed. “I’m thinking!”
Kakashi snapped his mouth shut. Gai leaned toward him and whispered, “Ah, the passion of youth.”
“Here!” Sakura spun around, holding out a rather heavy-looking old tome and pointing to the page she’d turned to. “Was this what the bottle looked like?”
They craned to look, and Kakashi said, “That’s it.”
Sakura sighed. “Well, you were playing with a love potion designed by the Second Hokage, just as I suspected. Luckily for you, the potion should only last 24 hours. We just need to hide you somewhere until then.”
“It’s still within 24 hours—does it say anything about why you and I wouldn’t be affected?” Gai asked curiously.
“Oh! Let me look.” Putting the book back on the table, Sakura leaned over it, reading intently. “Oh.” She looked up, confusion written across her face. “But that doesn’t make any sense. I barely know you.”
“What is it?” Kakashi asked, but Sakura didn’t answer.
Gai rolled closer and leaned forward in his chair to read aloud from the book. “The potion will have no effect on people who already have the desired condition.” Straightening again, Gai let out a boisterous laugh and said, “Well, my friend and rival, it’s no secret how much I love you!”
Sakura’s green eyes went wide, wider than Kakashi had ever seen them. “Rival,” she whispered, and then more loudly, she blurted, “Kakashi-sensei?!”
Kakashi was staring at Sakura now. He couldn’t help it, because she had turned the most fascinating shade of red, and she would no longer meet his eyes.
Interesting.
There was a sound at the window, and Kakashi turned to see an unmasked and desperate-looking ANBU agent making a heart shape with his hands.
“I don’t think staying here any longer is a choice,” Gai said, completely unbothered by the recent revelations. “We need to get you somewhere safe.”
Glancing briefly at Sakura, who was still beet red and uncharacteristically silent, Kakashi then nodded at Gai and said, “I know a place. Let’s go.”
Sakura finally spoke up, in a slightly squeaky voice. “Tell me where you’re going, and I’ll meet you there. I need to change.” She gestured awkwardly at the pajama pants she’d been in too much of a hurry to change out of.
Kakashi looked around and grabbed a blank scroll somebody had left behind, drawing a crude map on it. Handing it to Sakura, he said, “We’ll be waiting.”
“It’s wild out there. Everyone’s looking for you,” Sakura exclaimed as she entered Kakashi’s hideout. Looking around, she said, “Has this passage really been hiding in the Third’s left nostril this whole time?”
Kakashi smiled slightly. The cave that could be accessed through the carved face of the Third Hokage hadn’t been used by anyone but him in years; he usually escaped there to read when he needed a break. “It was the only place I could think of my ANBU wouldn’t know to look.”
“Smart,” Sakura said. Apparently noticing they were alone, Sakura asked, “Where did Gai-sensei go?”
“I asked him to give us some time alone. Nobody should be able to find us here, and I wanted to talk to you.”
Clearing her throat awkwardly, Sakura asked, “About what?”
“Sakura…” Kakashi took a step closer to her, not answering her question. Instead, he asked one of his own. “Do you want to know why I took that dare?” He didn’t wait for her to answer, taking another step toward her. “It’s because I didn’t want to answer the truth about what they asked me.”
Sakura wasn’t really meeting his eyes. “What was the question?”
“They wanted to know who I had feelings for.” He was standing only a breath away from her now. “And I just found out she loves me.” Lifting his hand, he put a finger under her chin, turning her up to look at him. “Right?”
All she had to do was say it. Kakashi held his breath.
Looking up at him, she licked her lips and then whispered, “Yes.”
When he kissed her, it was with all of the longing he had been feeling for these past months, ever since his feelings had begun to change. He kissed her with the fullness of those feelings, holding nothing back.
Right at the very moment she leaned into him and deepened the kiss, there was a crashing sound. They broke away from each other just as a orange and blonde blur darted toward Kakashi with a wordless shriek. Sakura caught Naruto by the scruff, holding him off the ground with her superhuman strength.
Naruto flailed and said, “Kakashi-sensei! Don’t let her get in the way of our love!”
Walking over to the mouth of the cave, Sakura easily tossed Naruto out through it. Looking back at a blinking Kakashi, she waved her hand dismissively. “He’ll be fine.”
Kakashi joined her at the edge of the cave, looking down, and then looked back over at her. “Well, we’ve got approximately 22 more hours until this potion fades.”
Biting her lip coyly, a becoming flush on her cheeks, Sakura asked, “What could we do with all that time?”
Kakashi grinned.