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Dark Cacao decided he was officially sick of carrying this child of his, and spending all this time in the Vanilla Kingdom wasn’t helping with his cranky mood.
He’d only agreed to stay here for the duration of the pregnancy, further away from the dangers the Dark Cacao Kingdom was surrounded by, at the behest of not only his first and second watchers, but the other parent of the child himself, Pure Vanilla. Dark Cacao was fully capable of taking care of himself while with child; after all he’d done it while he carried Dark Choco. But Pure Vanilla had seemed so worried about him, and once his own Cacao Warriors took his lover’s side, Dark Cacao knew he had no chance of convincing them he’d be fine in the Citadel, even with all the authority he possessed over his warriors.
Roughly four months later, six months into the pregnancy, according to the medics, he was certain he was reaching his wit’s end.
It wasn’t that there was anything necessarily wrong with the Vanilla Kingdom; it had built a reputation for itself over the years for being a welcoming place that turned no one away. The Dark Cacao Kingdom itself had sent cookies there when their walls were at capacity, unable to hold anyone more. However, as a result of being so inviting and altruistic, silence in the Vanilla Kingdom was exceedingly rare.
Even from his place in the palace, sitting on the balcony to try and enjoy the cool morning air, he could hear the voices of the kingdom below: townsfolk chatting, merchants arguing over prices, even some children screaming with delight, all melded together into a singular, overwhelming noise.
He let out a long-suffering sigh. The dangers the Black Citadel posed might’ve been easier to manage than the cacophony and overwhelm of the Vanilla Kingdom, not that he was in any state to travel back right now.
His ears picked up on the slight click of the balcony doors opening. He didn’t need to turn around to see who it was; only one man was foolish enough to visit him when he was in a brooding mood.
Dark Cacao didn’t react or even move as footsteps approached him, even as all his instincts told him to jump up and draw his sword. He was certain this person would never hurt him.
An arm gently slipped around his neck, more hugging than strangling, and a pair of soft lips pressed to his cheek.
Despite how awful Dark Cacao felt, he couldn’t help but smile just a little at the contact. “Hello, Vanilla.”
Pure Vanilla responded softly in his ear, “Hello, dear. I hope you didn’t miss me too much while I was gone.”
“Oh, I was utterly inconsolable in your absence.”
“Ha! And you say you don’t know how to be funny~” Pure Vanilla teased as he walked around to the other side of the bench, sitting right next to his lover and propping his staff up to look at him.
“I have no idea what you are talking about. I have never made a joke in my life.” But Dark Cacao’s smile grew just a hair wider. Maybe spending so much time with Vanilla made his heart grow a little softer, at least enough to make a very occasional joke.
Taking his lover’s hand, Pure Vanilla asked, a touch concerned, “How has your day been, Cacao? You seem tense...”
Dark Cacao sighed. He truly couldn’t hide anything from his love, could he?
“I came out here for a bit of air… I had forgotten how loud your kingdom can get…”
Pure Vanilla winced a little in sympathy. “I’m sorry about that, dear… I know how much the adjustment from your kingdom to mine has bothered you… Maybe we should’ve kept you in the Cacaoian Kingdom after all-”
He was silenced with a squeeze of his hand from Dark Cacao. “There is no use dwelling on the choices we made now,” he told Pure Vanilla. “You wished to keep me safe during a time you knew I would be more vulnerable. My strongest warriors took your side, and so I relented. As difficult as the adjustment has been, I do not regret following your counsel, despite the challenges. You were right; this is a far safer place to reside while carrying our child, and though I am sure I could have managed back home, I could not promise the same for the baby. This was for the best.”
It wasn’t the most tender or softly worded, but Pure Vanilla took it as Dark Cacao had meant it- as a reassurance that everything was alright- and smiled up at his love, the eye of his staff watching him with adoration.
Dark Cacao continued, “what about you, Vanilla? How has your day been? Many important meetings and problems to solve, I assume.”
Pure Vanilla huffed out a small humorless laugh. “That certainly does seem to be the way my days have been going as of late.”
He began to talk of the things he’d done that day: discussing a trade route along a canal that lead to the Hollyberry kingdom, meeting with some of his citizens to find solutions to the petty disputes and personal problems they’d been having, finalizing the plans for a new housing area to accommodate more people immigrating for the Vanilla Kingdom.
Dark Cacao listened as he rambled on, watching his lover with a fond expression. He loved hearing Pure Vanilla talk about his kingdom, seeing how much he cared for his people in every word he spoke. Not to mention having one singular voice to focus on helped tune out the rest of the commotion of the kingdom, which really helped settle his nerves a bit.
After a few minutes, Dark Cacao’s mind began to wander a little, returning to the baby yet to come. Despite the exhaustion and his mood growing more bitter than usual, the pregnancy had been going well, no major complications. It was also very nice being able to spend some quality time with his partner, the barrier of distance no longer an issue for the time being.
For the time being…
He would have to go back to the Citadel eventually, wouldn’t he…
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go back; in fact, he was counting the days until he could go home and resume the duties of his kingdom. But when he did finally return, the baby would go with him… but Pure Vanilla had to remain here, take care of his own kingdom, his own people. They’d grow up barely seeing their other father, and that concerned Dark Cacao more than he wished to admit.
However, even with a sight-impaired partner, his concern must have been obvious to see, as Pure Vanilla turned his staff to look at him and frown.
“Cacao? Are you alright?”
“I… I am fine…”
Pure Vanilla only frowned harder, reaching up and gently cupping a hand around his cheek. “You don’t need to hide things from me, sweetheart. I won’t be mad at you.”
“I know,,” Dark Cacao sighed, though he allowed himself to lean into his touch, his eyes fluttering shut.
“Tell me what’s wrong, Cacao.”
Dark Cacao looked away, his hand moving to rest over Pure Vanilla’s as he quietly murmured, “Perhaps… when the baby is born… they should be raised here… with you…”
“What? But wouldn’t it be better for both of you if they stayed with you after the birth? The medics told me that it would be best if they stayed with you, since they’ve grown more used to your presence.”
There was a moment of hesitation before Dark Cacao responded, “I still think they’d be better off here...”
Pure Vanilla was quiet for a moment, processing what his lover was trying to tell him. Finally, he asked, “You won’t make the same mistakes, Cacao… you know that, right?”
Instinctively, Dark Cacao flinched, but he couldn’t bring himself to deny it. It had been haunting him for weeks now, no matter how many times he tried to brush it out of his mind.
With a sigh, Pure Vanilla set his staff down so he could hold Dark Cacao’s face in both his hands. His mismatched eyes, impaired as they were, gazed softly into his partner’s brown ones. It was almost unsettling, how easily Dark Cacao was undone by that sightless stare.
“I’m serious, love… You can’t change how things went with Dark Choco… but that doesn’t mean you’re doomed to repeat what happened.”
“You don’t know that…” Dark Cacao’s voice was a little choked, revealing much more emotion than he typically dared to show around even Pure Vanilla. “I could ruin this one the way I ruined him-”
“You didn’t ruin him,” Pure Vanilla interrupted firmly. “Dark Choco has gone down his own path, and even if he was misguided and caused harm, he’s learned from his mistakes and is trying to make a better life for himself… even if he doesn’t want you to be a part of it.”
It was a very delicate subject, Dark Cacao’s relationship to his estranged son. The only reason Dark Cacao even knew Dark Choco was even still alive was from reports from the outer cacao villages, like the milk tribe village and the coffee tribe village. It was more information than he deserved to know, given all he’d put his own son through, and yet he cherished it all the same.
Dark Cacao was not a very affectionate man; this was no secret, and the ones that cared for him understood that his stony expression was just his neutral face and not a sign of distaste or hatred. To a child like Dark Choco, however, he couldn’t understand why his father never seemed to be happy, or why he was only paid attention to when being reprimanded or during battle training. He was loved, of course, Dark Cacao loved his son more than he could put into words, but he never learned how to show it in a way a child could recognize.
Dark Choco grew up disappointed by his parenting, and that disappointment evolved into resentment, and that resentment resulted in the fight that drove them apart forever.
Though the worst of the bad blood seemed to be resolved when Dark Choco helped stop Affogato from taking over the Dark Cacao Kingdom, they hadn’t had a conversation face-to-face since, and though Dark Cacao missed him, he refused to let his own feelings impact the choices his adult son made.
He just had to do better with this one… but was it even possible for him?
“Cacao.”
He blinked a few times, realizing he had zoned out a bit. Pure Vanilla was still staring up at him.
Unable to look away from his lover, unable to lie to him, Dark Cacao hesitated for a moment, then said, “I… I do not know if I will be good enough for our baby… after all I have proven to be an unacceptable parent…”
“Darling, I understand your worries… I could never blame you for feeling this way, after all you’ve done… You know your mistakes and missteps, we both know this, but that doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to repeat them. You understand what went wrong in the past. You regret, and you grieve, and yet still you’re moving forward. I’ve been watching you grow all these months you’ve been by my side here, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that there’s no one else I’d rather have a child with, my love.”
He leaned in, and Dark Cacao’s eyes fell shut as they kissed soft and gentle, one of Dark Cacao’s hands carefully moving to slip around Pure Vanilla’s waist.
When they pulled away, Dark Cacao rested his forehead against his partner’s. “Thank you, Vanilla… I… your words were… they helped…”
Pure Vanilla smiled. “Anything for you, my dear. Now, I think it might be nice to head to my room to rest. You’ve stressed yourself out, and I think I can fit enough time in my schedule to spend an hour with you. I could even send for lunch if you’d like.”
Dark Cacao hummed out the closest approximation to a chuckle as he could manage. “That sounds perfect, Vanilla, only… will it be Vanillian cuisine again?”
“I could always request something Cacaoian to be made for you… but if you’re craving my people’s food, I won’t tell a soul~ I’d hate to crush your well built image with a few pregnancy cravings~”
Rolling his eyes, Dark Cacao allowed his lover to take him by the arm and lead him towards his chambers.
Soon it would grow hard for him to move around as much, as it had before.
Soon he would grow sick in the mornings, and his personality would grow even more bitter.
Soon he would be delivering the baby he’d made with love with a man that would give him all of Earthbread if he could.
He still wasn’t sure if he was the best parent for his unborn child to raise, given his track record with raising kids so far.
But if Pure Vanilla believed in him, then maybe he’d be willing to give it another try.