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Still Jack and Daniel
–
Full Circle
VII
The more Things change...
I
Brigadier General Jack O’Neill watched the snowflakes dance in the dark. Somewhere out there Fruity, the snow-alien II, was standing guard over the backyard and the tree house, with his apple eyes and banana nose, Jack’s woolen hat and Jackson’s bandana as a scarf.
Jack wondered briefly what had happened to Fruity the 1st when Ba’al had ringed him up along with the Daniels. Had he melted during the transport or had he been left to melt on the ring platform?
He took a sip of his beer, silently saluting the first brave snow-alien that had ever made it to outer space, no matter how brief the experience had been.
Fruity, the snow-alien had been number three on Daniel’s ‘Ten things I want to do while I’m still little’ list.
Jack didn’t know what numbers four to ten had been, but the assignment was off. There was no rush to accomplish anything now. Daniel had all the time in the world to find things he wanted to do before he hit puberty. And then time to find more things to do before he ventured into adulthood for the second time. And then... who knew?
Three weeks since Fruity the 1st had gone where no snow-alien had gone before.
And the rundown of three weeks was, listen up friends and neighbors, impressive.
Two head honcho Goa’uld dead, one trip to Ancient-world and back, the extinction of the Replicators via super weapon on Dakara, a free Jaffa nation with a shiny new government in the making, Teal’c and Bra’tac being the free Jaffa nation’s heroes, the mysterious ways of politics and military organizations who want you dead and buried one day and handed you medals and promotions the next because of a shiny new ZPM making the Antarctica outpost a fun playground for scientists and military alike. Oh, and because of the Replicator extinction. Not to mention the part where they had saved Earth by violating the Antarctica Treaty.
Yep, time flies when you’re having fun, Jack thought.
The best part about being a general so far, aside from the cool parking space very close to the entrance of the mountain, had been the moment when he’d made Carter lieutenant colonel right the very same day he’d taken over from Hammond. The look on her face had been priceless. He’d seen the stars shine in her eyes when he removed the major insignias from her epaulettes and replaced them with the silver oak leaf; the lieutenant colonel insignias.
Only Pete Shanahan or a mysterious new alien doohickey were able to put that look on Carter’s face normally.
Jack was proud. He was also feeling old in the light of one of his kids stepping up the ladder in ranks. He had no doubt Carter would make full bird colonel in no time.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter.
It sounded more real to Jack than his own new rank.
Who in his right mind would make him general?
But there it was.
When Hammond had called him into his office the day after they had returned from Dakara, Jack hadn’t been sure what to expect. The concept of retiring hadn’t been number one on his agenda anymore, but had still been on the table. Alternately he’d considered his option to work for HWS or staying at the SGC as Hammond’s full time 2IC as he’d done the last couple of months.
Hammond had made his offer; had blindsided Jack so totally and utterly. Jack had asked for time to think about it and Hammond... George... George had winked at him and said, “Just keep in mind that if you don’t take the position, they will find someone else to do the job.”
“You mean someone worse?” Jack had asked...
...Hammond smirked at that. “Who knows, Jack. Fact is, I’ve been ordered to take over HWS and they wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
Jack tried to wrap his head around this. And failed. “Sir, with all due respect, I’m not the right choice for the job.”
Hammond gave him a hard look. “Is that what you really think, General O’Neill? Because it’s not what I see. I’ve known you for almost eight years and you’ve been a terrific pain in the neck more often than not. But you have your priorities straight and you know how to get a job done. And how to lead your people without being in the way.”
Jack winced. “I’m not so sure about that one, sir. Just ask Carter and Daniel...”
“If anyone is able to run this base and keep the IOA and NID at bay, it’s you,” Hammond said fiercely. “Times are changing, Jack. We need someone here who knows how to juggle all the balls and who isn’t afraid to put Plan B into order if Plan A doesn’t work out. Someone who can think on his feet and isn’t afraid to piss people off if needed. What we don’t need is someone they plant in here to do their bidding once I’m gone.”
Jack was torn between running screaming to the hills and the ridiculous need not to disappoint the man he’d been looking up to for so many years. He was too old and too cynical for hero worship, but George Hammond had earned Jack’s trust and respect by doing. By being the best CO he’d ever had. By being a friend, too, when needed.
Jack let his eyes sweep around the office, taking in the desk, trying to imagine himself sitting behind that desk. Trying to imagine a SGC without the quiet strength of George Hammond. He’d spent all his adult life sticking it to the man. He wasn’t sure if he could BE the man.
God... those were big shoes to fill.
And then there was... “What about Daniel, sir? I’m going to be a... well, he’s going to stay little for a while longer now. I was going to fly a desk full time to be here. A normal desk. With normal working hours.”
Because, let’s not kid ourselves. Flying this particular desk means 24/7 devotion to the job, Jack thought.
“You will be here, Jack. Right here, where you’re needed. To make sure Daniel can continue to work here. Washington doesn’t care one way or the other what Daniel does as long as he stays out of trouble and away from the gate. But if they put a new commander behind this desk, someone who doesn’t know Daniel... someone who might get the idea that a kid doesn’t belong on this base, no matter what his history is... Stranger things have happened.”
Jack remembered General Bauer and felt a cold shudder ripple down his spine. He realized that Hammond had probably jumped through lots of hoops to be able to give the chair to Jack before anyone – Kinsey or one of his stooges – could get a foot in the door.
Hammond watched him, probably knowing the exact moment when he had won the battle. “You’re going to have the best people behind you a commander could wish for, Jack. I know what I’m talking about because I’ve served with them for almost eight years,” George added with a knowing smile.
“Give me a couple of hours, sir? To... I need to talk to my team,” Jack said finally.
“You can have a day, Jack. I know it’s a huge decision to make.”
“No pressure, eh?”
George grinned. “You’ll get used to it.”...
…That had been five days ago.
Jack had talked to SG-1, had weighed the pros and cons, had whined to the Daniels, had rolled his eyes at Carter letting him know that ‘if you don’t take the job someone much worse could get it, sir’. The Daniels had nodded their heads to that and Jackson had pointed out that if Jack got to be ‘the man’ he could do whatever he wanted. To which LD had added ‘within reason’. Teal’c had merely smirked. They had so much confidence in him, Jack was touched.
So he had swallowed down the doubts and the cold feet issue, had put on his dress blues and asked Hammond if he could keep the nice comfortable desk chair.
In between his own promotion, Carter’s promotion and Hammond’s farewell from the SGC things had been chaotic. There’d been a bash at the commissary to celebrate the promotions and to see the general off. The Daniels worked too long hours to write pages and pages of reports about Atlantis, Jack tried to recover from just looking at his schedule for next week which included meetings with the IOA, the Joint Chiefs, HWS... He had been the head of the SGC for four fucking days and already felt exhausted. He was trying to figure out ways to hide from Walter who kept swamping him with appointments, files to sign, phone calls to make... But Walter was good. He managed to find Jack everywhere.
And still Jack was wondering if he’d made the right call.
He had wanted normality for himself and for Daniel. Had vowed to give them some time to breathe, to get used to the thought that this was permanent now. Nothing had changed – and yet, everything had. There was no deadline anymore. Jack was going to watch and help Daniel grow up again. Slowly. And he'd better not screw it up one way or the other.
Jack hoped to somehow ease into this relationship thing with Jackson... taking it slow. Making it work. Whatever. And there was a regret right there, if there was one. Being a GENERAL wasn’t going to make this one easier either.
Normality, so it seemed, wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.
They were home with no time to settle back in because one happening was chasing the other and they seemed to be stuck at the mountain more often than not due to Jack’s new obligations. SG-1 was officially on leave, but the Daniels were working and Teal’c had left yesterday for Dakara where the Jaffa had their new temporary government.
Yep, you could cram a lot of stuff into three weeks.
Life changed on a dime and all that.
Jack took a pull of his beer, relishing the bitter taste. Atlantis had been fun and all, but there had certainly been a lack of Heineken.
The clicking of paws on the wooden floor and a cold wet nose pushing into the hand not holding the bottle made Jack look away from the dancing snowflakes as he rubbed Flyboy’s head. “You need out, big guy?”
There couldn’t be another reason. The dog had been clinging to Daniel as though he was glued to the kid’s heels, only letting him out of sight when there was no choice.
Flyboy moved to the French door, giving Jack a prompting look.
He opened it and watched as the dog slipped out and melted with the night; black on black. When the white fluffy flakes were gently but surely wafting into the house, he closed the door and went back to watch the snow and wait for the dog.
He had no desire to go to bed just yet.
That was another thing that didn’t feel right anymore. The damn bed. Jack had gotten used to sleeping with the Daniels. Had particularly gotten used to waking to spooning with Jackson. They’d never talked about it, never done anything more than that. Sometimes Jack had woken to Jackson’s arms holding him, sometimes Jack had been plastered up against Jackson’s back, nuzzling his neck. They’d always gotten rid of any morning erections in the bathroom, discretely.
His own bed felt cold and way too big now. Similar to how it had felt after the downsizing.
He hadn’t slept particularly well since they'd been home again.
Jack was about to open the door and call for the dog when his spidery sense started to tingle. There was no reason for the hairs in the back of his neck to rise. Daniel was in bed, the house was quiet...
He crossed the room, put the beer on the coffee table, and went down the hallway to Daniel’s room. All was quiet here, too. Jack could see a spill of moonlight falling through the open door.
That’s when he heard the voices...
Voices?
Jack’s first impulse was to storm in there... but he had no gun... His gun was in the bedroom... He had immediate flashes of Ba’al ringing up Daniel out of the backyard... before Jack’s eyes... while Jack had watched, helpless...
Ba’al is dead. Anubis is dead.
Jack took a step toward the door, trying to avoid the bright beam of moonlight... of light. Not moonlight. It registered in a sudden clear thought that there were clouds everywhere. It was snowing.
No moon.
But light.
And voices...
Jack stepped closer, not sure what exactly kept him from barging in. He had a clear view of Daniel sitting on his bed facing someone. Someone who was blocked by the half open door.
“...should have known it was you all along,” Daniel said clearly. There was no fear. A bit of annoyance maybe, curiosity- but no fear.
“It would have been bad for my reputation if you figured it out on your own,” a smooth dark voice replied and Jack could hear the mildly amused undertone and the British accent.
“I don’t care about your reputation. What do you want?”
“I can’t make a social visit to see if you are okay?”
Oh, Jack knew that voice all too well.
“That's very unlikely. But since you're here, I'd like to know if I was right all along,” Daniel said. “You and Cassandra made up the prophecy and pulled the strings to get us exactly where you wanted us to be.”
“I did not. Look, you are angry, I get that. But I am not all knowing. Oma and Cassandra came up with the prophecy all on their own. They needed me to keep it under the radar of The Others because The Others can’t detect me. I helped. But this was NOT my idea.” Daniel’s visitor let out a humorless short laugh. “Believe me, I wasn't pleased to have them invading my life. I was done with the Ancients. I was done with all of it.”
“You are the First One,” Daniel said quietly. “The most powerful Ancient.”
“I USED to be. I retired.”
Daniel snorted. “My point is; you don’t have to help anyone if you don’t want to. You made up the non interference rule. If you helped Oma and Cassandra, then you had your reason. And you could have played with open cards – because as you just said; The Others can’t detect you. You could have told us what’s going on, what to expect, what we needed to know, from the start.”
Jack’s hand reached out to push the door fully open.
Bastard.
But he found himself rooted to the spot, not able to move a finger. He opened his mouth to yell, to give that sonovabitch a piece of his mind, but he couldn’t get a word out either.
He was paralyzed.
***
“I could not,” the First One said.
“Why not?” Daniel snapped. “You managed to find a way in the SGC long before I met you for the first time on Tink’ah’s planet. You could have stopped by my office one day, saying; Hey, Daniel, Anubis is going to attack Earth. You need to find a way to go to Taonas and find a ZPM and use a weapon hidden in Antarctica. We could have gotten the ZPM right then and waited for Anubis or Ba’al to show up.”
Adam Pierson, or whatever his real name was, moved across the room and slouched in Daniel’s desk chair. The white glow he was emitting became stronger for a moment, then subsided again until just the outlines of the sharply edged face and the man’s body were glowing. Pierson’s eyes, black in the otherwise dark room, seemed to bore into Daniel.
Daniel held the gaze. He could hold the deadly Jack O’Neill stare without being intimidated if he had to. He wasn’t going to let this Ancient stare him down. No matter how old or powerful he was.
“You are the most persistent little bugger I’ve ever met,” Pierson said finally. “However, for some reason everyone likes you.”
Thrown off his determined path to get a few truths for the moment, Daniel blinked. “What?”
“Oma has fallen for you big time. Well, for the big-you originally. But she’s all head over heels for you, too. And no, before you ask, she didn’t littlefy you. That was all your doing. But she’s been watching you. Ever since you came to Kheb. To see where your path might lead. You know what she’s like.” He grinned and shrugged.
For some reason Daniel was taken aback by the way Pierson talked. He was used to Oma spouting weird zen-wisdom and to the soft spoken Aiyana. Pierson talked like... well, like the guy he pretended to be all this time. It was irritating.
“When did she decide to use me as the carrier of Ancient knowledge?” Daniel asked, curiosity getting the upper hand.
“Ahhh... That was Cassandra’s idea. She had the vision of you defeating Anubis. She was the creator of the prophecy.”
“Just a charade.” He had been sure about this; had Jack told so on Atlantis. Yet, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. These were the Ancients, the builder of the Stargates, the race able to seed life in whole galaxies, beings who had evolved so highly they could be energy or physical form at will.
And yet, the more he had learned about them, the more he realized the Ancients as a race were as flawed and dysfunctional as any other.
Pierson shook his head.
“No, no, actually she really has these visions. Always had. Suggestiveness and hypnosis are her strong side, but she does have visions as well. What we did was monitor SG-1 to make sure things would go in the general direction to match the prophecy’s outcome. We weren't actually going to interfere. Then you managed to turn yourself into a rugrat and things became complicated. We knew you needed the statue to eventually retain adulthood. I took it for safe keeping so Area 51 wouldn't take it away from you when we realized there was a piece missing in order to make it work. I was going to give it back to you once you found the eagle stone.”
“That didn't work out so well,” Daniel interrupted with a shrug.
“No, apparently not. And when Reese attacked you, Oma decided to give you the knowledge you needed before you got big. We figured as long as you were Earth bound you'd be more safe as a kid and we had to move things along, but do it carefully. The Others can’t detect me, but they're always keeping a close eye on Oma and her merry band of followers. I hid the statue in Egypt. Cassandra had had a vision of you and Jack showing up in Cairo, but she couldn't see what you were doing there. She told me to contact you and to tell you not to take the Yggdrasil, that it wasn't meant to be used yet.”
“That didn't work out so well, either.” Daniel said dryly. Then he frowned. “You did it wrong the first time around. And when you screwed it up and we took the statue anyway, you somehow managed to make BD go back in time. Does that mean time doesn't matter to you? That you can just go back and forward in time?”
Pierson sighed. “That's... complicated. Fact is that big-you couldn't keep it low key. He was just meant to guard the statue and get rid of the guys who were going to mug you so that we could talk in peace and I could convince you again to leave the statue where it was. But he had to take a closer look at you and it all went to hell after that – or maybe not. Maybe this is exactly how it was meant to happen. Cassandra couldn't tell. All she knew was that when you took the statue the first time around without listening to me, we had to bring him in. As I said, those visions are not very clear sometimes.”
“He didn’t keep it low-keyed because he knew the only way to make us listen was to give us at least some details.” A thought hit Daniel and he asked. “Does BD know who you are?” Because if he did, he had been lying to them, too.
To his relief Pierson snorted. “Of course not. Oma cajoled him into going back in time to help us fix it. He was grieving. It didn’t take very long to convince him.”
Daniel felt his lower lip quiver. Not because he was close to tears, but because he was so angry. He felt the emotion bubbling up deep deep down in his guts, rising like a tsunami to his chest and trying to work its way out of him as a yell of rage. But when he talked again, his voice was low pitched and calm.
“Do you know,” he started, eyes still fixed on the entity in his desk chair. “Do you have even an inkling of what it did to him to lose everyone he loved? Do you even understand the concept of loving someone? Have you ever, in all those lives you lived, loved someone so much that you’d die for them? Daniel wasn’t grieving. He was dying inside. Because Anubis killed his family. The only true family he ever had since...“ Daniel trailed off, shaking his head. “And you could have prevented it from happening if you’d just TOLD me, him, when he came to Egypt the first time around. If you’d just told us what was really going on.”
Pierson tipped his head back and gazed at the ceiling. “Do me a favor? Spare me the all emotional tear jerking details? All you need to know is that we couldn’t tell you. Not the first time you came to Egypt. And we shouldn’t have told you anything the second time you came to Egypt either.”
“Why not?”
“Be-cau-se it is against the RULES.”
“Rules you invented. Rules that don’t apply to you if you choose to ignore them because no one would know you broke them. Or you could change the rules - if you came out of hiding,” Daniel said.
“It’s complicated.”
“So you keep saying. Why?”
Pierson glared at him. “Do you ever shut up?”
“Nope. I told you I’m an annoying little brat. Ask Jack.” Something else struck Daniel then and he asked. “When you had sex with Jack, did you already know....”
Pierson let out a long breath. “Yes and no. I knew he was significant. I sensed the Ancient gene in him. I also thought he was hot. But I didn’t know where our paths would cross again. It was many years later that Cassandra made the prophecy.”
Daniel didn’t know if he believed that, but he realized there was no point in arguing. It had happened. All of it. One way or another they had to live with it. They had been living with it every single day for the last two years already. The prophecy, may it be real or faked, had fulfilled itself. The deed was done. And it had saved the planet, maybe the galaxy, the universe.
“Why did you leave The Others and go into hiding?” he asked, his mind going on a different kind of track.
Pierson pursed his lips as though he was considering if the question was worth answering. Finally he settled for, “It will take too long to explain, Daniel. I am old. I was already very old when the plague killed millions and millions of my people and others. When Atlantis left Earth I decided it was time to move on.”
“But...”
“I spent time drifting. Just drifting and being energy. But then times changed again and...”
“You were lonely,” Daniel guessed.
“...I decided to return to Terra. The second seeding of life after the plague had been a success. Civilizations were thriving and I returned to human form. That was five thousand years ago. I haven't left Earth or this body ever since. There were others who returned. Some because they chose to, some because they were punished.”
“Punished? Like Cassandra? For breaking the rules and doing the right thing?”
Pierson cocked his head, considering his reply once again. Daniel could see a calculating look flashing over his face. “The Others value the non interference rule very highly. Yes, I made that rule millions and millions of years ago because it was necessary. And I decided that trouble makers were to be punished depending on the severity of the offense. But times change and even we change. Over time after I left, The Others became so ignorant of anything and so narrow minded in their ways, they mercilessly got rid of those who went against any rules. So they invented the game.”
Daniel frowned. “Game?”
“Ascended Ancients who didn’t fit in with The Others were sent back to the lower plains as babies to be raised among humans. If they die an unnatural death before their time, they come back to life as Immortals. They never age, never change. But they have no knowledge of their heritage; they don’t know why they are Immortal. Nor do they know why they recognize each other. But they do. They are tagged to find each other sooner or later. One Immortal knows one when he meets one. And they are engaged in the game, that states Immortals must kill each other by beheading. It’s the only way to kill them. When an Immortal is beheaded his life force moves on to the Immortal who killed him. With every beheading he does, an Immortal regains a very small amount of the energy to become ascended again. The game states that in the end there can be only one. The last Immortal alive is supposed to become a powerful being and rule the world. That‘s what the Immortals believe.”
Daniel gaped at Pierson. “That’s... cruel. And you never wanted to stop this... game?”
“I had left. I had given up my status as their leader. And I decided not to get involved. To live by my own rules and not interfere. I can’t play god.” Pierson sighed. “Eventually there were so many Immortals on Earth and other planets, The Others decided to stop that form of punishment because they feared the Immortals might be discovered – and that would once again interfere with natural evolution. So they reverted to descending rule breakers. Or invented other transgressions.” He shrugged. “And I used the Immortal group of the Ancients as a cover to establish a life on Earth. To find at least some people I wouldn’t have to hide from because my body wasn’t aging.”
“You needed friends. You were lonely.” Daniel repeated. “So you made yourself live like an Immortal among them. Did no one ever tried to behead you?”
“Some did. But some aren’t so keen on playing the game. Some tried to step out of it. Some are still trying to live a peaceful life.”
“But...”
Pierson rose to his feet. He was dressed in faded jeans and a gray sweatshirt underneath a black woolen trenchcoat. Something else that didn’t seem to fit with the image Daniel had of the Ancients who were usually wearing flowing garments or robes. Pierson was also wearing Doc Marten boots.
“Enough bedtime stories, Daniel. I didn’t come to give you lessons in Ancient history. And I just want to return to my nice, uneventful life.”
“You have to take Cassandra with you,” Daniel blurted out.
Pierson sighed upon the inconvenience. “That stupid witch. I told her to stay out of this.”
“Instead she did the right thing. She has a hundred times more guts than you have, Pierson. She knew she might be punished, but she came to take me home anyway. Because she cares,” Daniel said fiercely.
“And paid the price,” Pierson said. “At least they don’t make Immortals anymore, so they only descended her this time.”
Daniel blinked. “This time? So she used to be Immortal, too? Yet, she knows she's an Ancient?”
“Yes. It’s a long story.”
“So it’s true? That she was born 1000 BC and raised by a tribe until...”
“Until the Four Horsemen burned down her village and one of them took her as his personal slave. Yesss, it is all true.” Pierson gave him a mirthless smile. “We go way back.”
Daniel swallowed. “You? You were one of the Four Horsemen? You killed her whole tribe and took her as your slave?”
Pierson threw up his arms. “Yes, oh, yes, I was a bad boy, Daniel. You can be a lot of things in a couple million of years. I’m not proud. But I am not giving you excuses for who I was. Or for who I am now.”
“Is that what you call non interference?” Daniel spat, disgusted.
“I was an angry man. I was trying to leave my old self behind and become something different. I wanted to feel again. I had lived so long by then already that everything inside me was dead. I had to go to all the extremes, to walk on the edge. And I won’t bore you with this any longer. Make your choice. I don’t have all night. I have places to go, people to see...”
“Choice?” Daniel asked, dumbfounded. “What choice?”
“Big or little? Adult or semi-child? Going through the gate again tomorrow or being stuck at the mountain doing translation work for the next ten or so years? That choice?” Pierson raised his eyebrows meaningfully, reminding Daniel of Jack.
He felt his throat go dry. “You are offering me to... But, why? You just said you can’t play god and you won’t interfere and... why?”
Pierson crossed his arms over his chest. “Make the choice, Daniel.”
***
In his mind Jack was storming in there, demanding answers and throwing that son of a bitch out on his ass,... until he heard the words out of Pierson’s mouth.
“Make the choice.”
And Daniel... Daniel was standing there, asking why?
Come on, Jack thought, let him do it. Before he changes his mind. It’s what you want, even if you’re not sure of it now. No chickening out, kiddo.
But as he thought it, he was trying to picture life without LD. And failed.
In his room, Daniel slid off his bed and Jack could see him standing there, bathed in the weird glow coming from Pierson. “Why?”
Jack would have closed his eyes if he could. But he was still standing there, unmoving, gaze fixed on his kid and the oldest Ancient alive who came now into view as he stepped closer to Daniel.
“I made a promise. Are you happy now?” Pierson sounded annoyed.
“A promise to Cassandra?”
“Yes. And to Oma. And your lovely friend Aiyana. They feel we owe you. Maybe we do. It fits in my schedule, so why not?”
Daniel smiled suddenly. “You are trying to make amends to them. For enslaving Cassandra. For killing her people. You do have a sense of honor after all.”
Jack groaned inwardly. Only Daniel... Why couldn’t he just take the offer and go with it? Why did he have to dig and dig... Because, Jack answered himself, Daniel needs to get to the bottom of things. It’s in his nature. It’s who he is. Big or little.
“That’s none of your business. Will you let me resize you or not?”
“You let her goad you into helping them with the whole prophecy because you finally wanted to pay your debts,” Daniel went on. “Oma and Aiyana used that to their advantage. You wanted to rid yourself of the guilt.”
“I can resize you and make sure you will keep your memories,” Pierson coaxed. “You can get big again without having to start over. What do you think?”
“You loved her,” Daniel concluded mercilessly.
“What?!” Pierson asked, bewildered.
“You’re embarrassed. You wouldn’t go through all this trouble if it wasn’t for something or someone special. So either you are full of guilt or you loved her.”
Damnit, Daniel, Jack thought, get on with it.
Pierson let out a short mirthless laugh. “There was a time I fancied her – that was 3000 years ago. No, Daniel. Sorry to burst your bubble, but I’m not in love with Cassandra.”
“Why then? You lived with the guilt of what you did to Cassandra a very long time.”
Pierson sounded really pissed now. “Fine! Imagine you have lived seven million years or longer. Imagine the time you have to think. To change. To grow. When Oma began handpicking people for ascension I didn’t care anymore about her breaking the rules. It was none of my business anymore. But when Cassandra sought me out and told me about the prophecy and about Oma’s work, I began to wonder if Oma was making the right calls and The Others were holding on to something that had outlived its time. I didn’t agree with them leaving Anubis free rein in order to punish Oma for her stupidity of picking the wrong penny. And yes, there were debts to pay. Leave it at that.”
Daniel sat back on the bed. “Will you help Cassandra? Will you take her out of the mountain and give her back her powers?”
“For God’s sake, yes. Yes, if it makes you happy.”
Jack watched the Wretch weaving a cozy little net for Pierson and Pierson tripped right into it. Millions of years of life experience and the man fell for the blue eyes and voice of Daniel-reasoning? Jack vowed to remember that the next time Daniel managed to wrap him around his little finger. If even the beings from the higher plain let Daniel talk them into stuff, Jack wouldn't feel so bad the next time it happened to him.
“Promise me. Give me your word. It must be worth something since you helped her and Oma to make me the savior of Earth,” Daniel said, eyes wide and coaxing.
“I said I’ll get her. So I will. But I hope you won’t expect me to marry her,” Pierson grumbled. “We co-exist. That’s it.”
Daniel nodded sagely, then asked. “You can upsize me without me loosing my memories?”
Pierson brightened at that. “YES!”
“No catch?”
“No catch. If that’s what you want, go for it.”
Jack wanted to turn and leave. He had promised Daniel to be here for him, to help him work through the whole post-upsize-time. But he couldn’t watch him change. If it was Pierson holding him at bay by paralyzing him, Jack hoped the man had the decency to release his hold...
But it seemed he had no choice.
Daniel said, “That’s... that’s great. Thank you. I think. I...”
“You’re welcome,” Pierson sounded a bit impatient.
Jack watched Daniel get up once more. He saw Pierson through the open door, bathed in that weird glow. The glow started to increase, becoming light, first white then changing into a soft gold tone.
Daniel was swallowed by Pierson’s aura.
Jack’s heart shattered and broke into pieces. Time stood still as the pain in his chest was slowly suffocating him. Then, without even realizing he could move again, he turned around and stalked away. Down the hallway. Into the living room.
He found himself standing by the wall parting the living room from the dining room, his numb hands picking up a picture in a twofold frame. Daniel’s cheeky, grinning face on the left and a small hand print in plaster on the right. Jack traced the outlines of the hand print with his fingertips and put the picture back on its place.
Then he sat on the couch and waited, wondering if the newly biggyfied Daniel would notice Jack’s own transformation into Tin Man.
***
Daniel looked around, recognizing the place, and blinked.
He turned to look at Adam Pierson – or at the man representing Adam Pierson. Pierson was still dressed in the black coat, the faded blue jeans and his Doc Marten boots. Still had the angular features and the slightly too big nose, the short dark hair. He wasn’t stunningly attractive, not bulky. Your average normal guy.
Yet, Daniel could see behind that mask now. And the entity called Methos was anything but your average next door guy.
Methos’ light, his aura, was of a rich golden tone, gently caressing and whirling around its body. Not unlike Ayiana, Daniel thought with interest. Maybe it’s an age thing. Did their energy color change with age?
Daniel could feel how old Methos was as their minds touched. It was like standing in a library filled with ancient books and being surrounded by the faint smell of leather, paper and dust. He had a very strong association with the brittle, whispering sound of turning the pages of a very old book.
He could feel power, too, like a metallic cold taste in his mouth, like goosebumps crawling up his skin.
Daniel turned around and looked at the place. “This is my memory,” he whispered, instantly knowing which one.
“Yes. Your mind took us here.” Methos said with a sigh. “Look, Daniel, I don’t have time to hang out in your head. We have to take care of business.”
“Why are we here?” Daniel looked at the Christmas tree, decked with straw stars, glass figures and baubles. He smelled cinnamon, oranges and vanilla.
He knew he was still standing at home in his room. Physically.
“Why are we here?” Methos echoed him. “You wanted to be here, so you took us here. For such a little guy from the lower plains you have an incredibly strong willed mind. It’s no wonder Oma wanted to ascend you after that Reese attack. You would be a valuable asset to The Others. Probably too much of a free spirit, though. But still...”
Daniel stopped listening and gazed at Jack’s living room bathed in the Christmas delight from two years ago.
Teal’c was sitting on Jack’s couch flanked by BD on one side and Janet and Cassie on the other. Jacob and Sam were seated on two chairs from the dining room. There were pyramid shaped candles on the coffee table, and various coffee mugs.
Teal’c’s voice was dark and peaceful as he read from a book.
"T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there."
Cassie giggled a little, but Janet put an arm around her and shushed her with a gentle nudge, as the baritone voice carried on, "The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads. And mama in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap, had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap."
Daniel watched himself snuggling into Jack’s lap like he was five, not eight or thirty five. They were in the armchair. The little Daniel on Jack’s lap nestled his head against Jack’s shoulder, while Jack wrapped him into his arms and stared at the crackling fire, deep in thought.
Teal’c read on with all of them listening, enchanted by the old story. Daniel watched as toward the end, BD leaned closer to Teal’c and fell in as the last verse began. “He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,... Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
Teal’c closed the book and BD was smiling at Jack and Daniel, and Jack returned the smile, albeit a little reluctantly.
Beside Daniel, Pierson – Methos - let out a sigh. “Merry Christmas. Hallelujah.”
“Jack gave me the box with Egyptian sand later that night,” Daniel murmured. “He smuggled it out of the country. From my parent’s dig site. And I gave him a picture of me. The one with the hand print in a frame. And... I gave Jackson my old glasses. My big-me glasses.”
Methos nodded. “Anything else from Danny’s world you want to show me?”
The scenery became blurry, changed to a warm Minnesota spring day.
They watched the smooth surface of the pond, the trees and bushes at the shore. Then Daniel looked over to the cabin and the dock. Jack was standing there, his silver hair gleaming in the midday sun.
Something – no, someone – was coming around the corner of the house.
Running.
Laughing.
Daniel watched himself being swept off his feed, whirled around and hugged. Jack’s voice from the past carried over to them across the pond. “What the heck are you doing here? Jackson kicked you out already?”
“The homeless pet shelter didn't want me.” There were giggles and more hugging.
“Yeah, I can imagine that.” Jack chuckled as he let him down and ruffled his hair. “Let me take a look at you, Wretch. Looks like Jackson fed you well, huh?”
There was BD limping towards them with his leg cast, grinning. “We actually had regular meals, believe it or not. We even went grocery shopping on our way here.”
Daniel smiled at the First One. “I went back to Minnesota for the first time after the downsizing. We stayed there together. The three of us, for a couple of days. We had a picnic and went to a waterfall.”
The edges of the Minnesota landscape blurred and crumbled, making way for a complete different scene.
Daniel watched quietly as he was standing in Jack’s sun drenched kitchen, by the table, sipping from a coffee-gone-cold. Not little him. Big him. Pre-downsizing-him.
Jack was already slipping into his leather jacket, grabbing for the truck keys on the counter. “C’mon, Daniel. You can have fresh coffee at the mountain. We’re going to be late if we don’t get outta here now.”
“And who’s fault is that, Colonel O’Neill?” the Daniel at the table said, raising his eyebrows meaningfully.
Jack jiggled the keys and cocked his head, giving him a dirty grin. “Yours.”
“Oh, right. Because I dragged you into the shower by your dick and forced you to go down on me like a man dying of thirst?”
Jack scowled. “Keep talking like that and we’re really going to be late, Doctor Jackson.”
“Mhh, I don’t think so. We’re not scheduled to gate out until 3:30 this afternoon and there’s not much prep time for this one. Deserted planet, ruins of unknown, but probably Roman related civilization. The MALP didn’t give me enough clues to determine anything else and we’re mostly going to figure out the weird energy readings Sam got back with the data.”
Pre-downsizing-Daniel put his mug down, a small content grin blossoming on his face as Jack stepped up behind him, pressing into him, whispering into his ear, “I’ve got a briefing to attend to at 09:00, so if you don’t want me to explain to Hammond why exactly I’m late...”
“Because you were forced to suck your civilian consultant in the shower...”
“For a linguist you have such a dirty mouth,” Jack growled, biting his earlobe, puffing warm breath over his neck.
“Dirty talk is the 24th language I got my masters in.”
“Oh, yeah? We’ll get back to that tonight.”
Daniel watched as his former big-self turned around and shared a coffee flavored kiss with Jack. “You think we’ll be back tonight?”
“I’ll make it an order. At least Carter knows the concept of chain of command and how to answer with ‘yes, sir’ when I say it’s time to go home,” Jack said, stepping back.
“Unless these energy readings are really significant and lead us to new technology,” adult Daniel replied, picking up his mug once more.
“There’s that.” Jack snatched the mug out of Daniel’s hand and put it down again. “Briefing. Now.”
Daniel watched his other self following Jack out of the kitchen, saying, “Twenty that Sam will make you see reason for extending our stay at least a couple of hours. She was already mooning over the MALP data yesterday.”
Jack’s voice drifted in from somewhere. “Deal. Your loss.”
There was some rustling and then the front door was banged shut.
Daniel smiled at the fuzzy warmth of nostalgia, of something he remembered fondly; like the smell of Egyptian sand, the faint memory of his mom singing to him, the taste of hot cocoa on a cold winter’s night. Or the feel of an artifact in his hands and Sha’uri’s warm body against his in the darkness of a tent. And later, much later, the stunning explosion of lust when Jack had kissed him as they had ended up in a puddle of goo on the floor in Daniel’s apartment, breathless and sticky. And Daniel had been full of awe, wonder, fear, curiosity and... love. It had been like coming home.
They never got to do the lessons in dirty-talk. Not that night, not any other night. Because Daniel had come back from that planet being the munchkin. The Wretch.
“I loved him so much,” Daniel whispered, grateful he had experienced this kind of love. Just like he’d always be grateful for the love he had shared with his wife. Precious and unique. Gone and yet, always with him.
And the more things changed, the more they stayed the same.
He looked at Methos. “Have you ever loved someone unconditionally? In all those eons you have lived? Do you know what it’s like?”
Methos gave him a long assessing look. “Yes,” he said quietly, all sarcasm and annoyance gone from his demeanor. “Yes, I have.”
“What happened?”
“It wasn’t meant to be.”
“Was it...?” Daniel bit his lip.
Methos shook his head. “It wasn’t your Jack, don’t worry. He was one of us. Immortal. He kept risking his head for others. He’s a boyscout type. I didn’t want to stick around and see him get killed while he was trying to make the world a better place.”
“Making the world a better place isn’t a bad thing. Is he still alive?”
Instead of an answer Daniel felt a surprisingly gentle hand on his shoulder. “It’s time to let go and to move on, Daniel.”
Daniel swallowed and nodded.
And finally released his burden.
***
The dog barking outside the door pulled Jack out of his frozen state and he moved from the couch to let him inside. Flyboy shook himself to get rid of the snowflakes in his fur and traipsed past Jack, out of the living room.
Pierson had to be gone, because otherwise the dog would have started to rant.
The deed was done.
Jack stood in the quiet house, cocking his head, listening for any sounds. Footsteps. Daniel calling his name. Anything.
He considered going to look, a strong need to make sure the kid... no, not the kid... to make sure Daniel was okay. At the same time he dreaded it.
Damn coward, that’s what you are, he thought, disgusted with himself.
Jack crossed the distance to the steps leading into the hallway. He stopped by the couch, not able to go on. It wasn’t Pierson’s spell paralyzing him now.
Daniel was okay. Otherwise the dog would have come back and made a scene. If there was one thing Jack could trust right now it was that – if Flyboy didn’t freak out, Daniel had to be okay.
And there he was now and Jack looked on in a state of shock as Daniel came down the hallway and stepped into the light emitted by the living room lamps. He stopped at the top of the steps.
He was carrying something, cradling it to his chest with both hands.
Jack blinked and cleared his throat, trying to go for casual. Normal. “Hey.”
Daniel grinned somewhat shyly. “Hey.” Then he held out his hands, offering Jack what he was holding. “I made this for you. I wanted to give it to you before I got big, but now things didn’t quite, uh, work out the way I imagined.”
“But,” Jack said, almost, just almost, afraid to say the words, “did everything work out okay for you?”
“Yes.”
“You sure about this?”
“Yes. Yes, I’m sure. It’s what I want.”
Jack took the offered gift then, looked down at it and felt his mouth twitch into a smile. “That’s...”
“Sappy, I know. Too late as a Christmas present and way too early as a Father’s Day gift.”
Jack opened it, turning page after page made of cardstock paper filled with memories. Notes and dates, used vouchers for the Cave of the Winds, a shard of rock and dirt from The Garden of the Gods, a printed out map of Memorial Park, a flyer of the Balloon Ride, the small USAF Space Professional badge, the birth certificate of Jack junior - the Butterscotch Bear. There were watercolor hand and paw prints of Daniel and Flyboy with a mess of splotches all over the page... and photos. Most of them taken by Jack himself.
Daniel and Nashi in the kennel, both grinning into the camera, Daniel in Egypt, the Giza pyramids looming in the back, Daniel and Al on their bikes, Daniel and Al in the balloon, Daniel and the dog rolling across the floor, Daniel and Jackson sharing a box of Ben and Jerry’s, Daniel and SG-1 at the Garden of the Gods, Daniel on the couch holding a huge Starbucks mug... Some taken by Carter or Teal’c; Jack and Daniel on the tree house porch, Jack and Daniel working on the train set, Jack at Jackson’s place out on the deck by the grill, holding the BBQ tongs. Jackson next to him, his hands wrapped around a bowl of potato salad and Daniel carrying two cans of Skullsplitter, raising them up so that whoever had taken the picture could get a good aim on them.
The Daniels’ birthday.
That damn Scott and his poisonous beer...
But the annoyance didn’t even rise above a short flicker, was drained by the precious book Jack was holding in his hands. Yet, he couldn’t do more than skim the pages because he kept looking back at Daniel standing there. Had to make sure that what he saw was real.
Jack closed the book. “There are lots of empty pages left.”
“I know. I had less time than I expected.”
“You think we can fill them all up til Father’s Day so I can embarrass you by showing it around, telling everyone you made this for me?”
“Define ‘showing around’” Daniel said, frowning..
“Oh, I don’t know, like... to everyone?” Jack went and placed it carefully on the coffee table.
He had to sit down because he felt lightheaded all of a sudden and so he slumped on the couch and Daniel came and sat beside him. And the dog, who had followed Daniel like a shadow, went to the fireplace and lay down on his blanket.
“Oh, fine. If you really really must. Just not to the Marines, please?” Daniel said with a long suffering sigh.
“Sweet.” Jack’s broken heart gave a tentative stuttering beat, then another one. There was a tightness in his chest and a lump in his throat. Something had gotten in his eye and he had to blink again. He needed to know once more. “Does this feel like the real deal to you?”
Daniel nodded. “This is my life. I don’t want to go back. I want to go forward. There’s so much I didn't do the first time around. I want to know what it’s like to... to grow up having a home and a family. I think I knew what I wanted for a long time. I just didn’t think I should want to want it.”
“Why not?”
“Because I kept telling everyone this is a burden, not a gift.” Daniel bit his lip. “And I hate to admit I was wrong.”
“Not right away, you were not,” Jack said softly. “This hasn’t been a gift for any of us from the get go.”
“No. But the last year or so it was.”
Jack exhaled a long breath. “I saw you,” he whispered, then cleared his throat. “With Pierson. I thought this was it.”
“He gave me a choice. I chose.” Daniel gave him a beautiful little smile, and there was a tentative question in those eyes. A question he had to know the answer to, but apparently still needed to ask.
Jack reached for him. “C’mere.”
The cuddle thing had gotten less over the last couple of months. Daniel, in his littlefied body, had been a – somewhat reluctant at times - snuggler whenever he sought comfort or when he had felt he could get away with it and not compromise his ‘adult’ self too much. But with becoming more self secure and less anxious about his state of being and daily life troubles the need for hugs and being held had receded somewhat and was reserved for special occasions.
This was one of those special occasions and Jack had his arms full of about 4 feet 5 of Daniel, all pointy elbows and knees and still a bit small for his age, but just right and perfect in every possible way.
Like this they sat for a while and Jack could feel Daniel’s heartbeat and he breathed a sigh of relief and gratitude.
“Jack?” Daniel piped up eventually.
He smiled. “Daniel?”
“What do you think about piercings?”
Jack snorted.
“Tattoos?”
“We’ll talk about that when you’re … older.”
“Sixteen?”
“Thirty five?”
Daniel giggled. Then, “Jack?”
“Ye-ah?”
“What about dying my hair?”
“Thirty four?”
Daniel laughed a hearty belly laugh, blue eyes twinkling with mischief and shining with love.
Jack joined in, wondering just briefly what the heck he’d gotten himself into. The prospect of the Wretch venturing into puberty eventually was wonderful and scary. And at this point Jack was only sure of one thing.
He had no regrets.
FIn