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The adults always said that you were so cheerful when you were younger. They often comment on how meek and quiet you’ve become now when you used to be such an extroverted child. Tales of you unabashedly making friends with strangers you meet in transportations, in malls, in parks, and in all kinds of places, stories of dancing and singing loudly in front of everyone’s eyes and affection, long passed and buried in the years since then that you’ve forgotten how different you were back then.
But what you do remember was your dad leaving and your mom becoming sad, bitter and angry. And then she began to hit you, harsher than the times she told you off when you made mistakes. Since then, no matter how much you tried to appease her, everything you did was a mistake. And with every mistake, a consequence follows. She told you it’s because she loves you, she wants you to become a good person and for that to happen, she needs to discipline you. And that she did day after day, years after years, until you learned how to be sly enough to convince her not to do so sometimes. But you aren’t always so lucky, it’s just that you are sometimes and you like to make sure to be one. And so you became compliant and quiet, because that way, the monster that holds your mother’s heart captive won’t awaken and find a reason to hurt you.
So you like to keep your peace. You only mind your business and stay quiet. Only keep a few close friends and aim to achieve the average, no failing grades but just enough to pass your subjects. A wallflower, a person who’s there but purposely avoids the limelight. For the most part, no one paid you any mind. You’re the person in everyone’s periphery, no one significant.
But when you reside within Yeongdeungpo and go to school in Ganghak, you should’ve known peace wasn’t an option you could keep. Or maybe you weren’t just meant to live a peaceful life outside of home now that during the class seating rearrangement, your lucky hands picked the paper that contained the number of the seat next to Geum Seongje. That was when you learned how funny envy can be and how quick it can turn things around with a snap of a finger. But you’ve known it for years, it’s just that now you realize that this is what happened to your mother, and you could only laugh that the same thing came back years later to bite you in the ass.
And now you found yourself outside, beads of sweat slid down the side of your face with the sun high up in the sky. Gone was the comfort of the cold breeze of the AC now that Jiyeon and her minions dragged you out of school grounds, in an alleyway just beside the school premises. It has been two weeks since the seat changes. You and Seongje don’t even interact, much less see each other. The guy doesn’t even go to school much, only three times since you became his seatmate.
You were apprehensive at first, but upon seating next to him, you both kept to yourselves. It wasn’t like you gave him any reason to bat an eye on your business. You kept a respectful distance, not even letting your eyes land on the boy, what with the ever so famous three second rule you’ve heard about. You kept quiet and did not disturb the guy in any way at all. You just wanted to live your life and survive.
But keeping quiet wasn’t enough. Geum Seongje, despite his notorious reputation, still had girls fawning over his feet. He’s handsome, and has a disturbingly sweet smile that contradicts his violent nature. It was exactly that handsome face that drove the girls in your class insane at the fact that you, a nobody, gets to sit beside him, albeit rarely with him absent most of the time. Still, it was enough for envy to boil hot in the guts of the girls in your class. Who are you to be deserving of such a place? A place you would willingly give if they just ask. But of course, violence and evil runs deep in the roots of everyone’s feet. It is in the nature of humans to resolve into violence the second they find a reason to perform such action, no matter how unreasonable it may be.
Your quiet outside life turned to slaps, humiliation, degradation, and violence, no longer different to the tense one you have at home. All of this just because you happened to sit next to their hopeless obsession. Oh how much it made your stomach sick to be quiet. To act exactly like at home now that you can’t live as carefree outside now that you’ve become their target. With each passing day, your head went to a mantra. Just a few more and it will be over soon, they’ll get bored. Just a few more and it will be over soon, they’ll get bored. Just a few more and it will be over soon, they’ll get bored.
But it didn’t end. And your sanity was at its wits end. No matter where you went, there was someone waiting to hurt you. But what were you to do? What could you fucking do? In your mother’s case, you love her too much to fight back. But Jiyeon and her minions? They are a lot and you were only one. Your friends took their distance, too afraid to be caught on the net of Jiyeon’s wrath. And suddenly, you found yourself all alone but surrounded at the same time. Fear turns to sadness turns to frustration and turns to anger. What are you going to do?
Seongje took a puff of his smoke, arm perched upon the railing of the rooftop, hand covered with the blood of the boy who lay squirming on the ground. He heard Hwangmo drag the boy further away from him, cleaning up after his mess. The boy had been a transferee that was stupid enough to look at him for more than three seconds. Bloodthirsty and draggingly bored, it was only fitting that Seongje had to teach him a lesson. But it was uneventful as the boy did not give a fight. And Seongje hates boring things the most. So when his eyes landed on the scene below him, at the alleyway Jiyeon and her friends dragged you to, a chuckle leaves his mouth, the cigarette vibrating along his chapped lips. With another puff, Seongje turned his full attention to the scene unfolding below. It was amusing to him, how every girl he happened to sit next to in class fell victim to bullying just because of him. He liked it, his pride and ego filled.
He watched as the girls surrounded you, Jiyeon pushing you to the ground. Everyday she torments you to no end. Follows you home, follows you to the bathroom, follows you everywhere. It was like she’s obsessed with you, obsessed to hurt you just because Seongje does not give her the time of day.
Then Jiyeon straddles you, gripping a chunk of your hair.
A match enflames.
“Who the fuck do you think you are glaring at me like that, HUH?” Jiyeon screams in your face. You must have unconsciously let your eyes look at her dangerously. You realized it was weird, right now you didn’t feel fear. And what you do feel is a small burning fire churning in your stomach.
Is this rage?
Jiyeon pulls your head upwards by your hair and slaps your cheek, spitting on your eyes.
The fire engulfs the match.
Suddenly, the heat was replaced by a stream of cold water, drenching your upper body as Jiyeon splashed the dirty water from the bathroom and onto your face. By this point, you aren‘t hearing what they were talking about, they were just a buzz of noise as your eyes filled with red with Jiyeon so close to your face.
The fire rages high and into your eyes, and in every cell of your body.
With all your strength, you thrust Jiyeon upwards, flipping your positions so that she is facing down with your legs wrapped around her head. Using their shock to your advantage, you swung your fist into her face, her nose making an audible crack as she cried in pain “yOU FUCK-“ You took the handkerchief in your pocket and slammed and pushed it into her mouth.
You stood up, turning around to face the other four girls. They stumble backwards at your glare, your eyes that refused to meet others now seemingly burn under the darkened glare as your eyes zeroed in on one of them, running and using that momentum to kick her in the stomach, making her fall and stumble backwards.
This seemed to awaken the others from their stupor as they began to gang up on you. Grabbing your arms and hair to stop you as you began to mount on the girl you had just kicked. Their collective strength pulled you up from the girl on the ground, your legs flailing in retaliation.
Fueled by adrenaline rush, you managed to get away from their grip, immediately giving a punch on the gut of the nearest girl. The velocity to which your fist came made her curl and fall to the ground.
With three down, your eyes locked on the next girl, running to her as she began to stumble out of your way, fear flashing her eyes at your sudden violence. You used your whole body to push her on the ground, making you both fall. You felt the other girl join in, trying to push you off her friend, kicking and punching your back. But you persistently locked the girl under you on the ground, not caring of the fist hitting your sides as you clutched her hair with both hands and slamming it up and down to the hard ground as the rage in your stomach continue to burn and rage, your mind losing itself into the fight, your goal only to hurt everyone in sight.
With last two slams of the girl’s head to the ground, you let out a pained angered roar as you transferred your attention to the girl who helplessly tried to pry you off her friend. The change in attention caused her to fall to her side when you turned around to grip her leg. She kicked her leg, screaming for you to let go but the rage, the adrenaline, and the desire for revenge made your grip tight like a cobra, unwilling to relent until you get what you desire.
As the girl tried to crawl away from you, you reached forward so that you could trap her legs into your arms, using your upper body weight to keep her in place as you punched and punched her leg, not stopping until her leg stopped flailing. Whimpers and cries filled your ears, but your eyes still raged fire.
Satisfied that the four minions are done, you stood up, dangerously walking towards Jiyeon who had now sat up, looking up at you in horror “I-Im s-s-sorry” she says, putting her hand up as a shield as you continue walking towards her “Fuck! Leave me alone! Leave me alone!” She screams. This makes you chuckle, grabbing a fist of her hair, slapping her face again and again, but no matter how much you slap her, the insatiable feeling never left. Unsatisfied, your hand curled into a fist, and with every rage in your body, your fists met her throat, making her let out a strangled cough. Before you could throw another punch, you felt a solid metal collide with your side, sending you flying.
You felt a lump in your throat, coughing up blood at the sudden critical hit “You fucking bitch! How dare you fucking hurt Jiyeon like that, huh?!” It was Ma Seokhee, stalking towards you and landing a kick on your stomach.
His kicks leaves you coughing more blood, but despite of crying, Seokhee grew unsettled when you began to laugh maniacally “Jiyeon won’t fucking date you, you turd”
This enrages Seokhee, using this distraction, you didn’t give him time to react as you kicked his leg with all your strength, making him fall to the ground. Swiftly, you grabbed his bat, wasting no time to bash it into his head. Have you not done so, you wouldn’t stand a chance. You give three more hits using his bat, stopping once he’s knocked out.
Then you turned to Jiyeon, a hollowness circling your orbs that made Jiyeon shiver “We’re not done yet”
She cried in horror, standing up to run away when I began to stalk towards her. But your adrenaline was faster. You used the momentum of running, raising the bat high, jumping and hitting Jiyeon in the back, sending her flying as if she was the ball.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The fire dies down, the match blackened and spent.
Someone whistles “I was so sure you were gonna bash her head” Seongje chuckles. You turned sharply at the sound of his voice, your breath ragged. Your blood turns ice cold at his gaze. The adrenaline has washed off, there was no way you would win against him. Your eyes fell to the ground as quickly as it met his. This caused Seongje to scoff slightly, taking a long drag of his cigarette before tossing it to the ground and crushing it with his feet “What, don’t wanna fight me?” he mocks.
Seongje takes his time, his feet slow and his eyes piercing you with an amused, curious glare. His feet stopped right in front of you. You felt him bend down to your ears, whispering “What will you do now? Tsk-” he leaned away, head beckoning to Seokhee who remained unconscious on the ground “No matter how retarted he can be-” Seongje sighs, head shaking slightly as his gaze fell back on you “this asshole is still part of the union”
Your eye twitched, warm tingling dread crept up your nerves, engulfing every limb, every organ, and every cell, gradually building up in every crevice of your being. Then he chuckles, his voice so loud and ringing in your ear “You know what I'm talking about, right?” he says rather than asks, a finger harshly pulls your head up, holds it firmly to meet your gaze. And the dread in your stomach morphs into reality “I’m sorry-” though he does not mean it, not when his eyes burn predatorily as if his gaze can devour you entirely “-but we can’t just let you go now that you’ve hit one of us, can we?”
—
With your luck, you often question why you have to live that kind of life when everyone else has it normal. You just wanted normal, that’s all it was. But your life was worse than extraordinary, it was dreadful. You commend yourself for not killing yourself yet.
Since that day, Geum Seongje made it clear that you are within his turf now. He has ordered you to be around him, saying that he needs to keep an eye on you. But you both knew that was an excuse, you think he’s just interested that you managed to take six people down, one of them being his own men. You weren’t particularly strong, it was just the adrenaline and the pent up anger. Students in Ganghak found out about what happened, intrigued but stayed away now that Seongje “adopted” you in his little gang of minions.
Hwangmo was at least tolerable, but Seokhee wasn’t too keen with your presence, holding a grudge he swore he will someday make you pay for. Although that couldn’t be anytime soon now that Seongje made it clear to him that he must not lay a hand on you. It was jarring, how Seongje can be so malicious but he hasn’t laid a hand on you yet, waiting for the right time to bare his fangs into his prey like the wolf he is.
You swore he would jump at the chance to hit you, but he hasn’t yet. And you will make sure he won’t find a reason to. It was already unlucky that you managed to capture his gaze, you just need to be compliant just like you do with your mother. Seongje is a whole other strength that you wouldn’t be able to manage, all you could do for now is to be quiet. Maybe he’ll grow bored of you that way.
However, you shouldn’t have been so sure it would go as smoothly as you manage your mother’s anger. Seongje is a schemer. And with that, he will make you do what he wants you to do, directly or indirectly. He makes sure of it.
“Y/N” he says quietly, arms crossed as his eyes remain on the teacher. It was one of the rare occasions he decided to come to class “I want you to drop by this address after school and get a package, bring it to me immediately. Just give this to the cashier and they’ll give you what I need. I will be waiting at the rooftop” Seongje slides a small paper across from his desk to mine, an address written messily. You nod wordlessly, worried that you might get home late to your mother and risk her wrath while also a bit glad to not go home yet. Either way, it’s bad, so you’ll just follow Seongje’s order.
As instructed, your feet dragged you along to the bus stop, hopped on the bus, and got off three stations later. Tired, you hadn’t noticed the watchful eyes of two boys who were waiting by the bus stop. You continued along your path to the address Seongje has asked you to go to, unaware of the two who hovered over your shadow, hiding behind posts, eyeing where you would go. They kept their distance, as ordered.
Finally, you reached the building. It was a sauna spa. Entering, you reached the counter, handing the cashier the paper Seongje had given you. With a curt nod, the cashier bent down and got up not less than a minute later with a bag in his hand. He placed it on the counter, eyeing you up and down “It’s just you?” he asked, eyebrow raised.
“Just me” he looked at you skeptically but handed the bag anyway. It was heavy, a hunch on what it contained plagued your mind, but you ignored it. You don't need to know more details, just do what you have to do. With a small nod, you bid farewell and exited the spa shortly. It hadn’t been five minutes since you arrived. You couldn’t help but wonder if this is really just as simple as that.
The sun had begun to set and the quiet road was painted orange. The air starts to become cold with the sun beginning to hide away into the night. Suddenly, you heard a foot scrunch behind you. For a moment, your footsteps blundered to a pause, but almost as quickly, you resumed your pace. One step after another, the shadow behind you grew larger. Your steps hurried but the person behind you was quicker. Just as you were about to run, your feet abruptly halt at his voice “You’ve been way too boring, you know?”
With a sharp turn, you came face to face with Geum Seongje. He has his hands in his pockets, glasses perched up on his nose and his eyes sizing you up dangerously “Seongje?” you asked, confused at his presence. He chuckles, slowly walking towards you “I was thinking you could amuse me but you’ve been way too compliant-” he says, head tilting in disappointment “-its actually getting quite annoying” he tsk-ed, feet stopping at least two feet away from you, hands still in his pockets. His face contorted to that of annoyance, and suddenly, your confusion turned to fear. Why is he here?
“What are you talking about?” you ask, although your eyes do not meet his. You can’t, especially now that he radiates an intent to kill. Anxious, your hand gripped the bag tightly. Seongje sighs heavily, eyes looking around for any sign of an audience. Satisfied that you’re alone, he suddenly grabbed your arm “No hard feelings, just orders from above” his lips morphed into a grin, his smile reaching up to his ears. His smile was so sweet with his gums on display, but you could only feel horror at its sight. He dragged you along a closed alleyway, wincing at his hard, pressing grip “What?!” you couldn’t help but ask, trying to get away but his hold was too strong. It was like his hands were cuffs, unwilling and unrelenting.
When Seongje did let you go, it was when he smashed you onto the hard wall, the impact momentarily stealing the breath out of your lungs. Letting go of the bag, your hand gripped the wall for support, looking up at Seongje in apprehension “What was that for?” Still, he didn’t answer your question. The boy only gave you his shit-eating grin before hurriedly pouncing on you, his fists landing on your right cheek. You let out a pained gasp, your mind running miles per hour. Did you offend him? Disobey him? Did you look at him for more than three seconds? You were sure you didn’t. You meticulously made sure he would not find any reason to hurt you. So why…?
“Shit, I don’t usually hurt girls but you have to understand, Baekjin asked me to” he says as if he was sorry, but the chuckles that followed after that solidified that he was not. Na Baekjin? But why would he?
Before you could think, Seongje grabs a chunk of your hair and drags you again. But this time, he drags to the ground, pinning your arms down with only one of his, his other hand slamming into a hard punch to your stomach “Fight back, you fucking bitch. Fight back like you did, come on, I’m trying here!” he complains as he boredly throws punch after punch, warmth beginning to pool in your mouth at his relentlessness.
Triggered, the bottom of your feet meets his crotch in a hard kick. Seongje curls in pain, but he laughs. Annoyed, you slammed your forehead into his, making both of you groan in pain, Seongje backing away now that he was just hit critically twice. He laughs merrily, hand brushing his hair away from his face as I eyed him incredulously “What the fuck is wrong with you?” you couldn’t help but spit, making him even more amused. Your head still wringing from the impact of meeting his. You stumbly got on your feet, eyes never leaving Seongje. At this point, three seconds or not, it wouldn’t matter. He made it clear he wants to hurt you. So why should you comply, it’s not like he’s your mother. You held no affection for this boy, only anger.
He moans, tongue wetting his upper lips in anticipation “Yes, fuck–COME ON!” he yells, running towards you, hand curling into a fist as he goes to hit your sides. You yell in pain, arms curling around his trunks, letting him hit you as you ensured you clung on to him, using your nails to dig into his sides as you pushed yourself up to his neck, mouth finding his skin as you sunk your teeth into his flesh. Seongje lets out a pained scream, but his voice is still laced with a giddiness you couldn't understand. Your nails turned to fists as you hit his sides with all your might. You feel Seongje laugh at your futile attempts, successfully prying you off of him, throwing you back to the wall, putting some distance.
His hand found his neck, brushing it on his skin lightly and bringing his hand up to examine the blood “Damn” he says, laughing as he looked at you. Your eyes fell onto the bite mark you made on his neck, gulping as you began to realize the taste of his blood on your mouth. As he began to stalk towards you again, you got ready, expecting him to throw another punch but as you were about to hit his neck where you wounded him, his hands found yours, locking your arm with only one of his, feet locking yours as he pushed the both of you onto the wall, trapping you in his strength. You cried a pain of frustration, mouth grunting in pain when he threw a fast hard punch on your stomach then to your cheek. With you locked up, back pressed against the wall and Seongje trapping you in front with a strength you know you can’t fight against, there was nothing you could do “That all you can do?” he asks, face shoving itself in yours, forcing your eyes to meet his orbs. You chuckle, blood trickling down your mouth at the action “The fuck did you expect me to do? Beat you to a pulp?” you laugh, and this causes him to laugh too. The difference in strength was clear as day.
Seongje nods, throwing one last punch to your stomach that causes you to cough up blood. But he does not let you go, he still presses you onto the wall, hand brushing your locks behind your ear and whispers “I still have to knock you out though” and so Seongje wraps his hand around your neck, making you gasp for air. Your body helplessly flails, eyes glaring at the boy who is no longer smiling. Suddenly, you laugh, body vibrating “I-” you say, blood pooling in your mouth making it harder to speak, your hands finding his to pry it off your neck “Mom-” you choke, his eyebrows raising “What? Need your mom to save you?”
That made you chuckle, but it seems that was one of the last few breaths you had in you. Your head began to feel lightheaded, the pain on your neck still as pressing and hard, your eyes was beginning to roll upwards when-
“Geum Seongje” Na Baekjin stands against the glow of the sunset, his face hidden in the contrast of light. He motions for Seongje to let go and instantly, his hands left your neck and backed away. You fall to the ground, gasping for air, coughing as you do so.
Baekjin steps into the alleyway, grabbing the bag on the floor, and stopping a few feet away from Seongje. Baekjin examines him, eyebrows raised to see him bloodied when his opponent was just you “Why are you here? It’s not like you to go do the dirty job yourself” Seongje remarks, making Baekjin chuckle darkly.
“It’s just that-” Baekjin’s lips curled into a smirk as he sized up Seongje “-don’t you think it’s a bit too convenient that you were already here?”
Seongje laughs, his teeth and gums on display “Is it? I was the one who told you about this, of course I’d have my eyes on her too” You looked up, eyes darting between the two. What about you?
Baekjin’s eyes didn’t shy away of narrating his suspicions, glaring daggers into Seongje’s mirthful ones “And I told you, I already have my boys to go after her. So why is there a need for you to be here?” Baekjin’s voice held a dangerous growl “If this money had gone, you know what will happen right? Your fault or not”
The two continue to stare each other down. But you, it was then that everything clicked for you. Geum Seongje had fucking set you up.
Before Baekjin could prod further and before Seongje could implement his orchestrated plan, you spoke, not weak, not begging, but sharp “I needed the money”
The two men’s attention turned to you. Slowly, you got up from the ground, eyes hollowed as you looked up to meet their surprised and amused ones “It was easy money. I had always planned to leave, having that money would be incredibly useful” you say, chuckling slightly.
Baekjin’s eyes narrowed. He knows you didn’t, he knows you’ve been set up. But you’ve just rewritten the narrative, a factor Seongje didn’t account for in his plans. It was quiet, the silence heavy and charged.
The silence was cut off by Seongje’s scoff, and Baekjin turned his gaze back to the boy in red blazers. Baekjin watched as the two of you stared down at each other. But whatever grudge there was between the two of you was not his business. All he knows is that you’ve just helped him mitigate the inevitable, and Baekjin recognizes this quality of yours. With a strained chuckle, Baekjin turns to you, getting your attention. “Is that so?” he nods, blinking slowly “Consider today a warning. Next time you get funny ideas, it’ll be me you’ll be dealing with”
With that, he turned and walked away.Then it’s just you and Seongje again, the air bloodied in tense silence. And when you begin to walk away, Seongje falls in pace beside you, both bloodied and dirtied up from the previous brawl “Why would you say that?” he asks.
“Why use me?” You stop, Seongje doing the same. He chuckles when you don't avert your eyes, it seems like you don’t care anymore. And that, Seongje prefers much more.
“Was this to amuse you?” You pressed him “Or did you do this for another reason?” Seongje laughs, head looking down, lips pursed amusedly before looking back up to you “Do you want me to thank you?”
You scoff “No”
“Yeah?”
You stare at him, at his pretty smile and his condescending eyes “Wanna know what I think?” he raises his eyebrows at that, smiling “And what do you think?” his voice drawls into a smirk.
With a deep breath, you began “I think you want to run away. I think you don’t like being ordered around. I think you really hate being Baekjin’s dog because I think you want to do whatever you feel you want to do. But you can’t do shit as recklessly when you’re in the union. No, and so you want to anger Baekjin, you want to get excommunicated, you want out. But you’re also bored, but then I came along and your fucking pee brain thought I would be an easy chess piece in your own little game” Seongje’s smile widens, grinning dangerously as his eyes twinkled the more you talked. You who was meek and quiet, who kept to yourself, one day physically fought back and now even shit talks to him of all people, the person whose eyes you refused to meet, the person you were afraid of just minutes ago, the person you’re now insulting in front of his own damn face.
“You think you got me figured out?” He asks, voice laced in amusement and you scoff “Figure you out? Why the fuck would I want to do that you crazy psycho”
He bellows a laugh, looking around as if there were someone else seeing this right now “Mhm, and what? Did you think you did anything?”
“You think I didn’t?” you ask, lips curled into a condescending smirk “Yah, Geum Seongje, I lied to trap you here” His grin disappears, eyes dangerous as he stares back at you “You dragged me into this shit, so rot in it with me”
Then he laughs, much louder than the last, the loudest you’ve heard come out from him. What a waste of a handsome face , you thought as you watched him maniacally laugh “I have to say,” he starts, laugh beginning to die down as he gaze at you “I’m impressed” he chuckles, walking closer to you “You’ve become so blunt and unafraid” he curls a loose strand of your hair in his finger, making you flinch, to which he snorted “Or not?”
With a smirk, Seongje pushes your hair to the back of your neck, his calloused hands curling on your left cheek “I prefer this much better, you’re not so boring after all” he grins open mouthed, his tongue poking the side of his cheek, his thumb tracing along your jaw as he trapped your gaze in his eyes.
“It’d be fun to rot in this hellhole with you”