Chapter Text
You’re disgusting.
It was not a great first thought to wake up to but Kim Dokja gave up trying to keep his thoughts positive. It was hard enough acting cheerful and optimistic on the outside in front of everyone all day. Speaking of which, he was scolded again for waking up late.
“I overslept.” He shrugged which was code for “I was reading web novels all night and only slept for an hour please don’t be mad.” It worked every time.
He walked with the group around the campus as it rained, most of them having 2 weeks off classes (except Han Sooyoung but she was skipping of course). He used his tiredness as an excuse to not be as talkative this time. He was sick of beating himself up every time he said something stupid.
“Dokja.”
He jumped and recognised those glaring eyes from anywhere.
“Something on my face?” He joked.
Yoo Joonghyuk ignored his comment. “What do you want for lunch?”
“Lunch? Right now?”
“Yes?” His eyes narrowed, wondering if the man was messing with him.
Kim Dokja looked around, finally registering the cafeteria they were in. How long had he been zoned out? It was just morning a second ago.
“What are you thinking about.” Yoo Joonghyuk grunted.
“Can I skip lunch-“
“No.”
“Listen! I’ll eat ANYTHING you give cook for dinner, yeah?” He bargained.
“…If you refuse to later-“
“I won’t I won’t.” He waved his hand then got up quickly towards the door.
“Where are you going?” Han Sooyoung called out. Then she threw something at his head for ignoring him.
“OW! Do I have to announce my location all the time?” He groaned.
Everyone stared at him, giving a silent “yes.”
“I’m just going back to my room!” He huffed then ran out before anyone asked more questions.
The moment he stepped into his room, a wave of dread hit him. And for a while he stood frozen in the doorway. What did he want here? He was alone, but he didn’t want to be alone. But he was so tired of talking to everyone. He didn’t notice how he fell to floor, legs too shaken to get back up. He sighed and gave up, lying there nauseous.
Failure. Get up.
Why do you want friends so badly if this is how you treat them?
His eyes started glistening with tears.
It’s not that hard to be NORMAL. You get hurt once and now suddenly your whole life is over? Get over yourself at least you have somewhere to live.
He buried his face in his knees as the tears fell.
Idiot. Stupid self-absorbed idiot. Trapping your friends into forced love. Why won’t they leave already? But I don’t want them to leave. That’s so selfish. You’re so selfish. How could you call yourself a friend when you never want to be around them? I miss them…
He yelped when the door opened and slammed into him as he was lying beside it. He rubbed his head and groaned, if he didn’t already have a headache he definitely did now.
“What are you doing beside the door?”
He looked up and Yoo Joonghyuk was there, to his surprise, and holding a box of- oh no…
“Why are you here?” Kim Dokja mumbled, trying to recover from the shock.
“You promised to eat dinner.”
Kim Dokja looked at his window with wide eyes.
It’s night? You really wasted your whole day crying? Your friends must be sick of you by now, they should be. Stop being so self-absorbed obviously they have better things to think about idiot.
Unexpectedly, Yoo Joonghyuk sat beside him, putting the box of food on Kim Dokja’s lap, and staring at him with gentle eyes.
“Eat. Please.”
Kim Dokja stared at him for a bit. He doesn’t deserve this.
“Fine… it better not be- oh.”
He wasn’t expecting it to be omurice.
“How come you never make it into a cute sleeping bear shape?” He joked, which earned a glare.
“Why do I need to waste time making it look cute if you’re going to destroy it anyway.”
“It tastes better when it looks nicer!”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“It’s like, if you kissed me like this it’s whatever but if you kissed me all dolled up wearing high heels that’s where it’s at.”
Yoo Joonghyuk stared at him, trying to process what he just said.
“It’s just an example.” Kim Dokja smiled and started eating.
Yoo Joonghyuk huffed. “Stop trying to distract me.”
“From what?”
“Why were you lying on the floor. Is that what you’ve been doing all day?”
“…Floor time.”
“What?”
“Floor time.”
He stared at him.
“What?”
“You wouldn’t get it.” Kim Dokja said, trying to finish his food quickly.
“Slow down.”
He ignored him and finally finished, pushing the box back to him.
“Alright, great talk, I’m heading to bed-“
“We both know you don’t sleep at this time.”
Kim Dokja feigned being offended. “You think so low of me Joonghyuk!”
“I do.”
He let out a laugh. “Don’t worry, I do as well.” Then pushed him out the door before the conversation could continue.
He leaned against the door with a sigh and smiled. That wasn’t bad. That was nice. If it was nice why did he push him away? But if he let him stay then Yoo Joonghyuk would never leave. Which would be awful. Yoo Joonghyuk deserved more than to be trapped with him.