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Lucy was in her car, on the way to Tim’s house. She headed there after her shift and a quick stop at the grocery store, ready to make dinner for Tim, Tamara, Seth, Celina and Rodge. As she drove, her mind went through a half dozen scenarios of how tonight’s dinner would be. Unfortunately, all of them ended disastrously and Lucy felt her nerves tighten even more.
Pulling up Tim’s driveway, Lucy noted that his truck wasn’t yet at its usual spot. She left the station a bit before he did, so he must have caught a bit of LA traffic on his way home.
Grabbing the bag of groceries from the passenger seat, Lucy used her hip to shut the car door. She made her way to the house along familiar path, noticing how well the plants were growing despite the LA heat. She entered numbers on the keypad with practiced ease; the door unlocked and Lucy made her way in.
Lucy promised herself, for Tamara’s sake, that she would approach tonight with a mantra of calm and…she froze. In the middle of the living room. With expert defensive skills, she surveyed her surroundings. Something was off. Everything looked too orderly. No books on the table, no oversized mugs in the sink, and the speaker attached to her playlist was silent.
Her mind clouded with confusion, her heart rate sped up for several seconds until reality caught up to her consciousness.
Lucy was a guest here. Of course, her things wouldn’t be where she left them. That was months ago, and not this morning.
Lucy hesitated, her movements tentative as she emptied the grocery bag and placed the ingredients on the countertop.
She pressed her lips together, looking around. She could wait outside.
She probably should.
No, that was silly, she was already here. Tim knew she was coming…before she started to overthink the situation, Lucy reached for the pots and pans. Everything were at the same place as she remembered them.
Kojo came running from the bedroom, pausing by her feet with his tail waggling, ready for some belly rubs. Lucy kneeled down and snuggled with her favourite dog, feeling herself relax for the first time that day.
The sauce was simmering and the smell of basil filled the kitchen when she heard the front door open. Lucy went around the nook as Tim walked in.
“Hi!” She smiled at him brightly.
He looked genuinely happy to see her and Kojo, easing any doubts Lucy had about her stepping out of the tentative boundaries that defined their current state of relationship.
“Smells like lasagna.” Tim observed as he leaned down to greet Kojo. “Hi buddy!!”
After giving Kojo some attention and a quick walk around the block, Tim joined Lucy in the kitchen, watching as she layered the pasta, creamy sauce and meat sauce in a large casserole.
She got him working too, handing him the lettuce and knife to start on the Caesar salad.
Lucy smiled at him gratefully. “I know you’re not letting me use your dinner table just so you can have a home cooked meal tonight.”
Tim shrugged his shoulders, but he met her gaze with his own smile. Lucy enjoyed the view of him, preparing a meal with her. It was interesting the little things she missed about him. This was definitely one of them. The quiet contentment of making dinner together.
Lucy continued, “I appreciate it nonetheless. Both the dinner table, and the support. I appreciate you being here for me. And Tamara.”
Tim nodded, “Always.” He paused before adding, “I’ll be here. And I won’t be going anywhere else.”
They weren’t talking about dinner anymore. She found his words reassuring. And as she has started to do lately, she let herself feel hope. Lucy leaned forward to place a soft kiss on Tim’s lips. The kind that lingered on and flowed like a flutter of butterflies. “I know. I hear you.”
Celina and Rodge arrived and the four of them settled in, making small talk while setting the table and minding the oven. There was a few minutes left before 7 pm.
Lucy surveyed the table, noting that the salad forks were missing.
Following Tim in the garage as he grabbed more beer, she asked “Hey, where are the salad forks?”
“I’m a forty year old guy who lives alone. There’s one kind of fork.”
Lucy put both hands up. “Okay…that’s true now but not always. They’re in a container with the blue lid.”
“Ah!” Tim recalled and showed Lucy the pantry beside the fridge.
She winked, “Found the forks…why aren’t you using them?” The words were out before she could stop them, before Tim somberly admitted a truth that broke her heart, even if it was something she already knew.
Avoiding her gaze, he wisphered. “I … ah… I’ve just been eating alone lately.”
Lucy couldn’t help but reach for him, her fingers intertwining with his to offer comfort. Having Celina, then Rachel, at her apartment have protected her from this kind of aloneness. She traced the curve of his finger, a small gesture to convey so many words she couldn’t express in that moment.
“Hey.” With so much love and sweetness, Lucy said, “Next time you ask me to stay for dinner, just the two of us, I’ll say yes.”
Tim smiled, “I’m looking forward to it.”
Lucy felt warm and happy. “Yeah, me too.”
The timer on the oven buzzed, drawing their attention back to the lasagna. The chatter of Celina and Rodge’s conversation about allergies started to reach their awareness, then the doorbell announced Tamara and Seth’s arrival.
Feeling light from the promise of dinner with Tim, Lucy breathed and tried to acccess the most compassionate part of herself. She could do this. For Tamara. She planned to see the goodness in Seth that Tamara saw in him. Lucy smiled and played gracious host. Until her eyes caught the sparkles of a diamond ring in Tamara’s fingers. And all hell broke loose.