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As a senior, one of the most gratifying things Miku could do was be there to give advice to the girls under her wing.
Seeing Ichika and the others work so hard to achieve their dream has always been a driving force for her.
She’d spend so much time listening to samples of the girls’ songs, looping them over and over just to be able to give them the best tips to make their sound even better, to make it resonate with their audience.
And if she felt like she didn’t have enough knowledge to go off, she’d talk to the others in the Sekai and ask them for their input.
While she relished in this experience of acting as a dependable senior, she could not deny that odd feeling of selfishness that occasionally permeated her thoughts, ones that wrapped around her heart like a thorny vine and pricked at her feelings.
Though, she knew that it only flared up whenever Ichika was nearby.
She didn’t quite know when it began, but she recently noticed how much more she wished to spend time with Ichika, just the two of them doing whatever they wanted.
The times the girl asked her for advice with a lyrical phrase that didn’t convey the right feelings came to mind whenever she thought of spending time with the girl.
And don’t get her wrong, she’s not complaining that the girl would come to her for advice but, there were times she wished that the girl would come to her for other things.
Personal talk, school life, the latest song her other self sang that caught her attention.
Small things, really, just to feel connected to her in some way.
She felt like there was so much to the girl she didn’t know, the wide berth of knowledge only reinforced by the near-daily sight of how tightly knit Ichika was with Saki, Honami, and Shiho— how they knew so so much about her.
They were childhood friends, so it was only natural, but it left Miku feeling inadequate, wanting even, their interactions a reminder that served to constrict the vine wrapped around her heart, its thorns piercing her and making it bleed.
She wanted to be closer to Ichika.
She wanted to know all about her, to be a bigger presence in her life.
She wanted to be able to close the distance at any time without issue.
In that department, she envied her other self. Her only solace was the fact that she knew Ichika, that she could talk to her and feel her.
She was tangible in a way her other self couldn’t be.
But her existence was predicated on feelings.
Sure, she was an existence made of the girls’ emotions, but was it so wrong for her to feel for one of them?
To exist is to feel, and Miku felt that Ichika was so far away despite being so close.
Her eyes then switched over to the girl sitting beside her.
Oops, she got lost in thought again.
Thankfully, her distracted mind wouldn’t have any repercussions, because the girl she was thinking about had fallen asleep on the desk, head on her arms.
“Ichika…” She sighed fondly, “You were pulling an all-nighter again, weren’t you?”
No response, only the girl’s soft breaths.
Miku quietly chuckled to herself.
“Let me get you something.” She then gently stood up, so as not to wake the girl, and began to look for something to cover her up.
She wouldn’t want her to catch a cold when woke up, after all.
After a quick search, she found several spare fabrics that the girls brought in for whatever celebration they’d need it for.
“Looks like this one’s big enough to use as a blanket.” Miku appraised.
She then walked over to the sleeping girl.
“Oh, Ichika…” She mumbled at the sight, “your neck won’t like that.”
She had somehow gone from resting her head on her arms to resting it directly on the table.
As Miku walked over to help right the girl’s posture, she paused.
‘Maybe I could try…’ She thought.
She looked around. No one else was in the classroom.
She also perked her ears, trying to hear for anyone else.
No footsteps, just the faint sound of instruments over by the AV room.
Miku took a deep breath and slowly let it out.
She quietly took a few chairs and after arranging them in a comfortable-looking position, she gently laid Ichika down on the makeshift bed and spread the blanket over her.
As for the pillow? Well, Miku had guided the girl’s head to rest on her lap.
Miku’s face burned red as she finally processed the situation.
She could hear the pounding of her heart as she continued to watch over the sleeping girl that had begun to occupy her thoughts.
‘What am I doing…’ She ripped her gaze away from the sleeping girl and shielded her face with her arm, not that anyone was there to see her.
She was just flustered by the situation she had put herself in.
And yet, she could not deny how full she felt from this. The moment was so peaceful, so intimate, that Miku wished time could stop so she could savor this feeling.
Slowly, gently, Miku began to lightly stroke Ichika’s lovely black hair.
‘How nice,’ she thought, ‘it’s still smooth despite how messy she says it is.’
Miku’s lips curved up as she continued with her gentle ministrations, her hand occasionally combing through the girl’s hair.
“I wish we could do this every day,” she whispered. “Just you and me, Ichika.”
What else could she say? That she wished she could stop time now and remain there forever? That she would rather the girl take her everywhere she went? That she introduce her to the other people she knew just so she could be more involved in her life?
Those were selfish thoughts.
Though those selfish thoughts were probably a result of the feelings she had developed— no, not developed. They’d always been there, she just didn’t pay it any mind until recently.
This feeling made her more selfish than usual today but, what else was new? This was the same feeling that made every moment they spent feel bright and sunny, that made her absence feel cold and lonely, that made every lingering gaze fill the air with something indescribable.
This feeling she could only call—
“Love,” she whispered. “Love has changed something in me, and yet…”
She softly gazed upon the sleeping girl’s peaceful face, all the while gently brushing away a stray strand of hair obstructing her view.
“I don’t think it’s entirely a bad thing.”
With time, she’d have to learn to rein in those selfish thoughts. One day, she won’t feel the sting of jealousy when she sees anyone else pull Ichika away from her or engage in friendly skinship.
With time, she could let these feelings fade.
Because she knew that the relationship she longed for would never be feasible.
But right now, at this moment, none of it mattered.
It was just Miku, the sunset, and the girl she loved.
That was all that mattered.
“Sweet dreams, Ichika.” She leaned down, and placed a gentle kiss on the girl’s forehead.
“I love you,” she whispered, the words barely audible to even herself.
She returned to her earlier position and resumed stroking the girl’s hair, all the while basking in the dusky Sekai light.
If one looked closer, they’d see the light bounce off a glimmering trail that ran down the songstress’s cheek.