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Today was the big day. And today would be a great day.
You had spent a lot of time thinking about how to make the best out of the last day you would see everyone. You had made plans, reworked them until you were satisfied. Yesterday you had made some last changes. Even now you were free to do what you pleased. You hadn't decided yet what to do about applying makeup. You would decide on the spot, when you looked into the mirror and let yourself be guided by your feelings.
You threw on clothes. Not your star outfit, just something comfortable and simple to start the day. You were free until afternoon. Enough time to treat yourself better than usual.
You picked out a recipe for a nutritious breakfast, the remains of which could be used for lunch or dinner. You put on music and went to work. A good vibe was in the kitchen area. You let yourself lose. You were alone, no one could judge you.
The food was looking good and delicious. Ready to be served. You did the last bit, placed everything you needed on the table, and sat down.
You took a deep breath and relaxed. Then you dug in and enjoyed the food until you were full. You were ready to face anything that might come.
Until noon, you spend your time like you always did. Then, you looked over everything you had prepared and started to put on your outfit.
You looked splendid. Much more radiant and shining than in your old clothes. Being happy impacted the visuals a lot. You looked confident and you felt confident. Brand? Trending? It didn't matter. Not today. Today, you were who you wanted to be. Whatever that meant in every moment.
Now was a good time to think about the makeup. You took your time. You were in front of the mirror until you were satisfied. This is perfect, you thought. It felt right.
There was still time left. Time you used to read a book next to an open window. A fresh breeze to get lost in another world to hide your nerves. Your friends hadn't seen you wear this before. You never gave them such an open look into who you were.
They would accept you. That had never been the problem. Something had kept you from opening up. Today, it won't matter. Everyone would be casual or chic, wearing clothes only bought for special days.
The air was warm. Soon, the party would start. You were very early, none of your friends had arrived yet. There were people wearing dresses, suits, and glittery tops. Did you fit in? It made you nervous, even though everyone minded their own business in their friend group.
All worry left you as soon as you spotted your first friend. Your shoulders, which you had subconsciously tensed, relaxed. You greeted each other. The next friend arrived and you caught up. Everyone had been as nervous as you the whole day. The atmosphere was light as you conversed.
You heard your name and looked around. Mychael stood shy at the side, waving a little when he saw that you spotted him.
"Mychael! You made it."
You excused yourself from your friend group and rushed over to your best friend. You threw yourself into his arms.
"You don't know how much it means to me that you are here right now." you said over his shoulder.
He held on a little longer before letting you go. It warmed your heart to see him. His smile, his dilated pupils, his fidgeting hands. He didn't have to be here. Among all these strangers. He was your plus one for the party, not a student in the establishment.
He mumbled something into his sleeve. "Hmm?" You hummed questioning. He fumbled with his sleeve and blue spread across his face.
"You look amazing."
You could die happy. Well, no. That would make him sad. You couldn't let that happen.
"Mychael--" you breathed out, I love you.
You almost confessed. You were not ready yet. He's adorable. Why was it so hard to get the words out? He deserved them all. Thousandfold.
"--you look fancy. You look good."
He wore a white dress shirt under his blue sweater jacket. Not a full on suit or anything but the least casual you saw him wear. You were glad he didn't go full out. That meant he was staying in his comfort zone.
His eyes flew over the crowd behind you.
"Is it enough? I wasn't sure what to wear. They all.."
Oh behold he wants to succumb to peer pressure. Not with you.
"Who cares? They don't." You pointed over your shoulder behind you to the others. "We are here to have fun, not to hold a business meeting."
He visibly calmed down and laughed about your joke.
"You really didn't need to do anything. I wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable. Really."
"It's okay. I wanted to. This is a special day for you and I wanted to try something different. Though it was a struggle to find it."
"You could have asked for my help."
"I wanted to surprise you."
"And you did! I like it."
The crowd began to move. The doors were opened and people were let in. You turned to Mychael.
"Are you ready?"
He nodded and took your hand. Your heart jumped and you repeated So we don't lose each other in the crowd. He is only here because of me. in your head, fighting off the rising feelings. Stay focused. You didn't want to admit that you were scared to think about your feelings for him too much. If you did, how would you face him? Your relationship was good and you held onto that.
You chose to stand near the buffet tables. Music was already blasting and people danced in the middle of the hall. You spotted your friend group on the other side of the hall, dancing and talking with other groups. You let them be.
You bobbed your head to the music and swayed your body, enjoying the atmosphere. Mychael didn't move. You stepped before him and took his other hand in yours too.
You danced on the spot a little, vibing. Mychael was amused by you and moved his tail vaguely to the music, letting you move his arms. You snickered at his unwillingness to dance.
Your hands were sweaty but Mychael didn't care. He was happy to enjoy this event with you. There was no way you would lose the other in your small space but none of you let go, dancing in your own way.
When you let one of his hands go, you dragged him to the buffet for a break. Still holding onto the other hand. You consumed food and water while chatting about everyday topics.
In a pause, Mychael took a step away from the tables.
"You look happy. I have never seen your eyes light up so- You shine so bright today."
He noticed your change the same way you did. You were glad. It wasn't in your head. It made a difference. Your clothes affected your mood, it wasn't a delusion. And that he's the one to notice was even better. It made you unbelievably more happy to know that he perceived you and cared. That your happiness made him happy, too.
"I tried something different today. I put a lot of thought into my outfit. And I love it. I feel more like myself. I know it doesn't make any sense and I look different but I hope you can accept me."
Mychael tugged at your hand lightly.
"Of course I accept you. If it makes you happy, why don't you dress like this more often? I would be sad to see you this happy only on rare occasions."
You loved this man with your whole heart. Forget about the party. You had your fun. You wanted to spend more time with Mychael, and Mychael alone.
"Would it be alright for us to leave?"
"Is something wrong?"
"No, don't worry. But how about we go to my place instead? I've had enough of this party."
Mychael agreed and you walked along the wall to avoid the dancing mass. The sun was sinking and it was getting colder, the music now a fading background noise. Your hands were still together. At this point, you wondered when and who will end this.
It was you. You had to search for your keys. Shame on you.
You welcomed him inside and slouched down on the couch. "What do we do?"
"What do you want to do?"
Honestly, you were exhausted. If your posture and unwillingness to move was anything to go by.
"You can make yourself comfortable, you don't have to stand there."
He sat down next to you on the couch and laid his head on the backrest with closed eyes. He was exhausted too. For him it was probably more the amount of people than the minimal dancing he did. You fought to keep your eyes open.
He took your hand in his again and lazily turned his head to you. "Did you have fun?"
"Mhm. A lot of fun. Thank you for being there." you whispered. Your smile displayed your whole affection for him. You drew circles on his hand. He's right here with you.
"I love you. I don't want to lose you."
It was barely a whisper. You almost forgot that these words slipped out of your mouth. It was a wonder that he responded, eyes half closed and smiling.
"You won't lose me. I love you too. Sweet dreams."
You were too tired and sleepy to realize or think about what just happened. You slept soundly. The next morning, when the memories would return and shake you awake, you would have a lot to process. And you would have to answer the text messages of your friends, worrying that you have been kidnapped and planning your rescue.