Chapter Text
Years passed in the White Tower, as a noblewoman Moiraine Damodred and a fisherman's daughter, Siuan Sanche, trained to become aes sedai. Siuan had adopted her family's peaceful ways and had always been and still was a well spoken, friendly, caring and very well liked girl. Moiraine on the other hand, due to her childhood at the Sun Palace, was a very reserved, distant, seemingly proud and a somewhat unfriendly girl. As fate would have it however, the stark difference was what brought Siuan to be Moiraine's first friend.
Siuan had found her, sitting in the library alone and went up to her. “Do you mind if I sit by you? There are no more seats available.” Moiraine looked slightly annoyed as she was reading, but agreed. Suian had seen the girl before, she looked young and was in a lot of her classes but sat alone. After quite a while of silence, Siuan finished studying and asked, “You are in Ms. Casudane’s classes aren't you?” Moiraine responded with a short nod and a yes. “Nice to meet you, I'm Siuan. Siuan Sanche.” Before Moiraine could even think, let alone respond, a girl came up to Siuan. “I would not even try if I was you. She can’t talk to anyone properly. Bloody noblewoman thinks she’s above everyone else.” “And who are you again?” Siuan retorted. The woman scoffed, “Liandrin, Liandrin Guirale. From Tarabon.”
Siuan smiled, “So it’s you. The one that our teacher punished for using a silencing weave on another novice. Listen Liandrin, I don’t know what you want with her but I have seen you pick on this girl multiple times and quite frankly I don’t care what you think of her.” Liandrin frowned in annoyance and scoffed, “Suit yourself, I know who you are Siuan Sanche. I can’t imagine the insults this ‘noblewoman’ is going to throw at you when she finds out you are river trash.” Moiraine stood up, “That’s enough Liandrin, don’t you dare think you can speak to others the way you speak to me. Now leave before I tie you up and send you to our headmistress Elaida. Get out of my face immediately.” Liandrin scoffed but backed away and left.
Moiraine huffed in annoyance, “Sorry, about, well all of that. That flaming fool is nothing but a girl who projects her insecurities on others.” Siuan looked at her questioningly, “I see you haven’t met her before.” Moiraine sat down and continued, “She comes from a very poor family, she seeks attention, wealth, popularity. She will pull anyone down if it means making herself seem better.” Siuan nodded understandingly, she did not really know what to say as she did not expect Moiraine to be this hot headed this early. “I- I am Moiraine by the way, Moiraine Damodred.” Siuan spoke with slight awe, “Damodred? From Cairhien, is it not the ruling family's name?” Moiraine grimaced at her statement, automatically becoming more stoic once again, “Yes. But I do not associate myself with their titles. Is that going to be a problem?” “Light no. I was just curious, I’ve- I’ve never met someone with a high status before. I’m used to being around well, fishermen.” Moiraine looked skeptical but nodded, “I see. So I take it you’re from Tear. It’s the biggest fishermen town there is.” As Siuan nodded, she continued, “I like the sound of Tear. Seems like a nice place.” Siuan smiled, agreeing with Moiraine, “It is indeed. I never thought someone such as you would like it, but I’m glad to hear.” She paused, "You- you seem nice, why does everyone talk about you like you aren’t?” Moiraine smiled, and Siuan could swear there was a hint of sadness on her face for a second. “I do not talk to people much, and, well people don’t like me because I come from nobility. I understand, so I don’t push it, I’m used to being in my little space of solitude.” She chuckled but Siuan did not like the sound of it.
“Would you, well, would you mind if I became your friend?” Moiraine was not angry, just surprised and it showed. “You want to be friends with me?” Siuan nodded, “I- I do understand if you don’t, considering you are a Damodred. Even if you don’t associate yourself with that title.” Moiraine considered it, for a second all her family and friends who hurt her, tried to kill her, flashed in front of her eyes. She contemplated saying no and hurting Siuan, but she had been so nice to her, and even her regular solitude had started to bite, and she felt somewhat lonely. “N-No, it’s not that I do not want to be friends because you are from Tear. I- I don’t talk much, nor trust people easily, I- doubt you would want to be friends with such a person, you’re friendly and well, popular. And my title scares everyone off, aren’t you afraid?”
Siuan tilted her head slightly, “I do not mind, you seem nice. As for your title, I’ve heard of the Damodred’s but you seem nothing like the books and you yourself said you don’t associate yourself with their title. And as for not trusting people, well I would not trust strangers either. A friendship must be made to trust, that's what my father says.” Moiraine smiled softly, “Then- then I suppose I would, well be acquaintances. “Friends, Moiraine, it's called being friends.” Moiraine nodded, “Sorry- yes. Friends. I would like, to- be your friend.”
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Things changed over the years, Siuan learnt bits and pieces about Moiraine’s past, and linking it to how she behaved today. Despite her emotional reserve, anger lashing out at times, Siuan handled her and Moiraine tried her best to do the same. And soon it went from spending study sessions together to spending time outside of class. Spending time in the library to spending time in each other's dorm rooms. Spending days together to spending evenings and sometimes nights in each other's company. And finally,
‘What on earth’, Siuan thought to herself as she returned to her dorm, finding Moiraine standing at the window talking to herself. She cautiously placed her hand on her shoulder so as to not startle her. Moiraine froze but took a breath and said, “Siuan, I- I have something to tell you.” Siuan nodded, smiling in a comforting manner, “I- I really like you, and n-not in just a friend way. You've been so nice to me, put up with everything I do and-. Burn me, I'm not good at doing things like this but, I really like you. Would- Would you be my, well my girlfriend..” Her voice trailed off, unsure of how to continue praying Suian felt the same way.
Siuan couldn't believe it, Moiraine, who never could express emotion, was the one to propose. Moiraine looked worriedly at Siuan’s face, mistaking her shock for a symbol that she didn't like her back. Luckily Siuan noticed and held Moiraine by the shoulders and smiled broadly and giggled “I can't believe it, my spikey pufferfish proposed first. I love you too, Moiraine. I love you so much. Yes, I will be your girlfriend.” Moiraine’s happiness knew no bounds and they hugged each other tight. From then on it became spending time in each other's company, to spending time in each other's arms whenever they had a chance.
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Dressed in plain white robes Moiraine sat on the floor in Siuan’s room in silence. “They're going to take me in for testing tomorrow, and you the day after.” “I know Moiraine, I've known for months. They have been hinting at it saying we're two of the most powerful aes sedai in recent years.” Moiraine huffed, hearing the same thing about a million times from her girlfriend. “I know that Siuan, I've known for months as well. But I dont think I'm ready, I never have been. What if I don't make it, what happens then?”
“Oh Moiraine.” She cupped Moiraine’s cheek, “They only pick the strongest aes sedai to do the test.” Moiraine sighed, “Siuan im not strong enough. I know everyone thinks I am but I'm not. I have always been a coward. I ran from Cairhien, my duty, my father. I-.” Siuan pulled her chin to make her look into her eyes. “Moiraine listen to me, you're the strongest person I know and one thing I can guarantee is the arches aren't enough to break you. For someone who has been raised in Cairhien, who was almost killed on multiple occasions, you're still thriving. You didn't abandon anything and you know deep down your father wants this, he never wanted you to take the throne. He wants his little girl to succeed and that's what you have been doing. I know he is all the way in Cairhien but I promise you somehow your achievements will be told to him, on that flaming throne. Your strength is unmatched and- and I'll be there at the end of it, once you go through it I will straddle you until you feel better.” She chuckled and that broke through Moiraine's mood, she smiled and hugged Siuan. “You're right, I will survive. But only to come back to you.”
Siuan kissed her cheek, “I have one obedient pufferfish.” Moiraine punched her playfully and lay in her arms for the night.
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Siuan waited anxiously outside Moiraine’s examination hall. Causudane, their teacher so far who had a soft spot for the both of them seeing their harsh conditions, walked out with a relieved expression “She's terribly shaken. But she made it and she passed, with flying colors at that.” Siuan smiled widely and thanked her. Causudane smiled and continued “Siuan sanche, you should go to your dorm. Moiraine will be there I promise, but she needs to recover and knowing how reserved she is, I doubt she will do it infront of you.” While Siuan knew that was only slightly true she agreed, knowing that their relationship wasn't known to anyone.
Moiraine walked out a few minutes later, with her mechanical posture and movements. She walked into her room and just sat on her bed, while Siuan grew worried as to why she had not come to meet her yet. Siuan left her room and to her luck Moiraine had not locked the door, so she barged in. She did not even look up, she was staring off into the distance. Siuan placed a hand softly on her shoulder and Moiraine looked up; scared and reaching for saidar. But seeing Siuan her hand dropped back to her side as she looked at her girlfriend with an empty expression. Siuan spoke, her voice was soft, laced with love and concern, “My love, what did they do to you? What did you see?” She could see that she had struck a nerve in Moiraine, one that triggered her to latch onto Siuan. “Pufferfish, what- what happened? Talk to me.”
Moiraine nodded no, “I- I can’t. It wont m-make sense if I tried.” Siuan kissed her forehead, “No Moiraine, you know I can understand you. Even when your sentences make no sense I find a way to understand you and I will do so even today. Talk, Moiraine, I can’t see you in this condition.” After a brief pause, Moiraine opened her mouth and tried to articulate everything that happened.
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