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Dan Fucks had been doing a lot better, in Elias Hodge’s brain, since their previous mayor, and the police chief, and DA had been overthrown.
Life was booming. Especially Dan Fuck’s life. His nightclub was no longer under threat of getting raided. And, sure, he couldn’t overcharge because of prohibition anymore, but why would he even need to overcharge? He had more customers than ever. And not just more customers, he had more stock, too. Elias was getting out of his shell, and being happy, and yeah, even fucking. Everything had changed, after he and that ragtag group of people had somehow managed to shift who was in charge of the brain. Topple a regime, as it was. That sounded cool. Toppling a regime, that was what Dan Fucks did. And some other people, too, he supposed. And- well, ever since that had happened, Elias’ brain was better than ever. Loud and full of party, raining and dark and perfect. Full of dopamine and serotonin, and finally getting some action.
Which was great, for him. Except for the fact that, well, Dan wasn’t in Elias Hodge’s brain anymore.
Dan had been at his nightclub. And then- and then he just hadn’t been. There was no explanation for it, except for that, well, he had just somehow ended up here. Wherever here was. It wasn’t in Elias Hodge’s brain, that was for sure. No where there was this hot. Or this sunny. Or had this many tall buildings. The cars looked weird, and the streets looked weird, and the buses looked weird. The whole thing looked weird, to be honest. Not just the fact that he wasn’t in Elias’ brain anymore, but- but the little things, too. The streetlights looked like they had little films projected on them, and there were these huge flashing signs everywhere. It was just odd. The whole thing was odd.
But just because Dan Fucks wasn’t in Elias Hodge’s brain, didn’t mean he couldn’t find some fun, did it?
In Elias’ brain, Fucks always knew where it was he could have fun. Of course, that was normally at Fucks’ own nightclub , and these days, in the control centre, doing the do- But this place was awfully different. It was sunny, bright as all hell, summer weather and not a cloud in the sky, completely the opposite of Elias’ brain. But, hey, different was fun. Dan Fucks just needed to find the right kind of fun. It was still a city, just- a brighter one, with weird looking shops and strange, massive television screens. Dan didn’t exactly want to go to a candy store, or a store for- axes? What kind of brain had a store for axes? There was a diner, which looked almost promising, but when he went inside, there hadn’t even been a jukebox. And they were only selling weird sandwiches and milkshakes, so, no thanks. Dan Fucks would just have to keep looking. He passed plenty of people, and plenty of shops-
And then, finally, Dan Fucks found just the place. ‘Memory Theatre’ the sign proclaimed, with neon lights flashing. Neon lights always meant fun, that was Dan Fucks’ motto.
“Hello there,” a short little emotion said, once Dan arrived inside, wearing a strange looking outfit for a theatre attendant. What kind of theatre attendant wore jeans ? “Which picture would you like to see today?”
Dan squinted at the flickering board above them, listing the memories that were being shown. ‘Cute dogs around New York’ sounded too sweet. And ‘giant rat’ sounded too gross. And- and ‘SantaCon’ just sounded plain weird. What the hell was with the movies, in this place? Or, really, what the hell was with the brain of whoever Dan Fucks had ended up in? Those sounded like the weirdest memories that Dan had ever heard of. And Elias had memories of ray guns and ice skating, so- What the hell even was a ‘SantaCon’? Dan didn’t know. He didn’t know what most of these movie titles even meant, and the ones he did understand sounded incredibly boring. Who actually wanted to watch a reel of ‘best hugs’? Not Dan, that was for sure. And then, there, Dan Fucks saw just the right film for him.
“The Esther compilation, please,” Dan Fucks said.
He didn’t know who Esther was, but he was Dan Fucks. He had a feeling for these things. Whoever’s brain Dan Fucks was in- he felt a certain way about Esther. A way that Dan Fucks was quite familar with.
“Good choice,” the attendant said, with a nod. “It’s in theatre 3, over there.”
Dan Fucks blinked. He had been ready to give him some of the dopamine stashed in his pockets, but- apparently this brain didn’t really use money. Weird. Convenient, but weird.
“Alright, then,” Dan said, walking towards the theatre. He settled into a seat near the back, even though the place was nearly empty, when-
“Hi!” A voice said, from right beside Dan.
“Holy shit!” Dan cried out. “Have you always been there?”
“Nope,” the person said, with a pop. It was hard to see in the dark of the theatre, but they looked a pinkish colour. Maybe red. “But I saw you over here, and I didn’t recognize you, and I thought I may as well say hi.”
“Isn’t it bad etiquette to talk during a film?” Dan asked, with a raised eyebrow.
“Oh, we’ve all seen this movie so many times,” the person said, with a wave of their hand. “It’s really good.”
“Well, I haven’t seen it,” Dan Fucks said, eyeing the exit. “When’s it going to start?”
“In just a minute,” the person promised. “I’m Roman, by the way. Roman Tic.”
Dan groaned. He had only seen a small amount of Elias’ own romantic side, and they were so boring . All lovey dovey, no eyes for the fun stuff. But they were much smaller than this ‘Roma’ person.
“Dan Fucks,” Dan spat out, cursing that he had sat in the middle of the row. If he could just get to the exit-
“No, you’re not,” Roman said, flatly, shaking her head. “I know the sexual impulse in this brain, and you aren’t her.”
“Well- I’m here now,” Dan said. “This isn’t my brain, though. I just sort of, wound up here.”
Roman gasped. “So you’ve really never watched this movie before?”
“I don’t even know who Esther is,” Dan admitted.
“Oh, well that just won’t do,” Roman said, shaking his head. He turned his head upward, towards the projection office. “Roll the film early, Nash! We have a memory emergency!”
The film screen flickered to life. The image was clearer than any movie Dan had ever seen, in Elias’ brain, or through Elias’ eyes. Weird.
“Watch,” Roman said, a hand on Dan Fuck’s arm.
Dan sighed, sinking into his chair. He was stuck next to this Roman person, then. And stuck watching this movie. He at least hoped it would be fun.
—
There was a beautiful woman, on the screen. Dark skin, a cool sort of haircut in a wild blue colour. She was- she wasn’t smiling, exactly, but it looked like she wanted to.
“Oh, Ricky, good!” The woman, presumably Esther, looked down at her watch. “You made it here in record time.”
“Well, you know if you go over the buildings, it's a lot quicker,” another voice said. Presumably the voice of the person the brain belonged to. So his name was Ricky, then? “I keep saying this, but awesome haircut. It's awesome.”
Dan cringed inwardly. This guy had absolutely no game. No game whatsoever.
“Thank you,” Esther replied, tensely.
“It's so cool,” Ricky repeated. Dan didn’t have to see him, to know that he was smiling like an idiot.
“Thank you very much. I appreciate it,” Esther said. She really did look like she wanted to smile, even though she didn’t. Was that- working on her? “Just like to keep it new and exciting. So, I want to tell you a little bit about SantaCon and what's going to be happening today.”
“Awesome,” Ricky said, sounding like he hadn’t understood what was happening. But, well, neither did Dan, so-
“Have I–”, Esther started. She stopped, then shook her head. “'Cause you came in here about eleven months ago, so you missed the last SantaCon.”
“This is my first SantaCon since I saw all the magic stuff,” Ricky confirmed. Whatever that meant.
The woman looked like she was bathed in a halo of light, as she kept talking, fuzzy in the haze of nostalgia.
—
Roman was way too close to Dan, staring at him. What the hell was this? Magic? SantaCon? Just- what?
“What?” Dan snapped.
“Do you like it?” Roman asked, twirling a piece of pink hair in his hand. “Do you get it?”
“When’s it going to get good?” Dan asked.
“It is good,” Roman hissed.
Dan shrugged. “Boring.”
“Just keep watching,” Roman said, because of course Dan wasn’t going to get out of this that easily.
Dan sighed, and looked back at the movie screen.
—
Esther was, once again, on screen. This time, a bit looser, but still not smiling. They were- in a car, Dan thought, but it didn’t look like any car that Dan had ever seen.
“You text your friends, John, John, and John, your mom, your sister, and me,” Esther said, flatly. “
Ricky: Yeah, pretty much. Those are the people I text.
Esther: God, that's a lot of selfies.
Ricky: Oh, I just, I just like to let people know what I'm up to.
Esther shook her head, barely the ghost of a smile on her face. But she doesn’t laugh. She doesn’t reach out and make out with Ricky, even though Dan can tell she wants to. What’s holding her back? What’s holding either of them back?
“Selfies are good because you can get yourself and then what you're doing in one picture,” Ricky continued to ramble on. Whatever a selfie was.
“Right, but wouldn't the presence of a photograph coming from your phone kind of imply your presence there?” Esther asked.
The movie shook as Ricky nodded his head. “Okay. Yeah, I see that.”
“It's all right,” Esther said, with a- strange bit of emotion in her voice.
The car kept on moving, and Esther kept on not smiling, and- And Dan didn’t know why she hadn’t done anything.
—
Dan shook his head. God, this movie was boring.
“What’s wrong?” Roman asked.
Dan took the opportunity to stop paying attention. “Don’t they ever do anything else than smile and laugh?”
“Who would need anything else?” Roman asked in return.
“You know what I mean,” Dan said, flatly. “Don’t this Ricky guy and Esther ever do it?”
“Well, sure,” Roman said, with a shrug. “A lot, quite honestly. Now that we’re properly together. We do have the stamina for it.”
“Then why isn’t that showing?” Dan asked.
“Because this is the kid friendly reel,” Roman said, shaking his head. “And, this is from before we got together. Trust me, we like those moments. But- these moments are nice, too, aren’t they?”
Dan Fucks just shrugged, eager for this boring movie to be over.
—
Although, now that Dan looked up- the movie didn’t look all that boring, anymore. It looked like he was somewhere in a battle- or something? Dan had no idea. Besides, it wasn’t what he cared about.
“Esther, Esther,” Ricky breathed out-
And Esther was just there, somehow. Running up to Ricky through a- a portal, of some sort. And then she, finally , smacked a huge kiss on Ricky’s lips. Dan couldn’t see it, but he felt as Esther grabbed Ricky’s ass. Fuck yeah. Now things were moving along!
“I'm so fucking into you, you this fuckin' dumb, hot piece,” Esther said, when they stopped kissing. Dan liked it better when they were kissing. “You're so good, you're so heroic, I fuckin' love you!”
“ You're great! I think you’re great!” Ricky yelled out, loud and passionate.
“You don't even read books, who gives a shit?” Esther yelled out, equally as loud. “I read books all the time, I'm miserable!”
“You grabbed my ass pretty hard,” Ricky replied. And there we go, that was more Dan’s speed.
“I want to fuck you!” Esther shouted, and-
And, hell yeah, that was even more Dan’s speed. He expected them to immediately start going at it, but they didn’t.
“I didn't want to call you here, 'cause it's really dangerous,” Ricky said, instead. Boring. But- not as boring as Dan could have found it, he supposed. “But I don't know what else to do.”
“Let's live a dangerous life together,” Esther pledged.
That was sweeter than Dan had wanted, or expected it, to be. And yet- Dan didn’t hate it.
—
Dan turned away from the screen, to turn to look at Roman.
“Do you get it, now?” Roman asked.
And Dan- Dan had to admit, he did get it. “Not really,” he lied, instead. He had an image to maintain, okay?
“Oh, come on,” Roman said, leaning close to Dan Fucks once again. “You are seriously telling me that you watched that whole thing, and still don’t get it?”
“Yes,” Dan lied, again.
“I can see you blushing,” Roman teased.
Dan groaned. He wanted to kiss the self satisfied smile off of Roman’s face. Or- punch it. Both, maybe. “I guess it wasn’t that boring.”
“You liked it,” Roman teased.
Okay, that self satisfied smirk was too much for Dan. He leaned forward, and gave Roman the same bruising kiss Dan gave everyone- and yet, somehow, it turned sweet. Against Dan’s will, it was a very sweet kiss. Goddammit. This stupid movie theatre and these stupid sweet lovers had broken Dan. Fuck.
“Oh, you really liked it,” Roman said, with a smirk, when they broke away from the kiss.
“Yes,” Dan admitted, finally. “I liked it. Fine! I liked it. And- it’s sweet, what they have.”
“Anything else?” Roman asked.
“Sweet doesn’t have to be boring,” Dan admitted, as he rolled his eyes. “It can actually be pretty cute, all things considered.”
And then- and then Dan was no longer in the movie theatre. And right when it was about to get good, too.
Rude. That was just rude. Dan Fucks was about to finally see some action, both on the screen and with Roman, and he had been taken away from there. Fucks had even begun to enjoy the little brain, even if, well, it wasn’t exactly his first choice. It was definitely warmer than he was used to. And- and in a weird sort of world. He definitely had some questions about the way that he had watched Ricky and Esther talk about ‘magic’ in the movie theatre. The cars had been strange, and the streetlights had been strange and even the movie theatre itself had been strange- But Dan really had been enjoying his time there, thank you very much. He could have gotten used to staying in that brain, even.
Still, Dan Fucks was back in Elias’ brain now, it seemed.
It was a good thing, Dan supposed. He had a job to do, here in Elias’ brain. Imagine if there was simply no urge to fuck, here? God, that would be a sad, sad life for Elias. Zapped straight back to when M. Bition had been in charge. Dan Fucks shivered at the thought. Even if- even if he had been having fun with Roman, Dan was fine with it being nothing more than just a messy kiss in the back of a movie theatre. He had never considered himself the kind to make attachments, anyway but- Maybe what he had seen in the movie theatre would change that. But, still, this was where Dan Fucks belonged, all things told. Ricky certainly didn’t need help getting any loving, if the way that Esther had grabbed his ass was any indication. But Elias needed Dan Fucks. By jove, he needed Dan Fucks.
At least Dan wasn’t being stifled by anyone, anymore. That Ricky guy wasn’t getting that much more action than Elias was. Probably.
Before, definitely. But now that there was no longer a prohibition, and they could focus on talking to other human beings rather than science things that Dan did not understand in the slightest, things were pretty damn good in Elias’ brain. All thanks to Dan Fucks, of course. He was the one who had killed the police chief, after all. Or- maybe not all thanks to Dan Fucks, maybe. But- he had still helped. And because of his help, Elias’ brain was certainly far more fun than it used to be. But Dan would admit, begrudgingly, but admit nonetheless, that there was more than one way to have fun.
Like, for instance, this - sitting in his nightclub with people who had once been nuisances but were now, Dan was loath to admit, his friends.