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Blue sky. Hot sun. Both of these above golden dunes, standing in such an imposing manner in front of her. She feels the wind blowing and touching her face like a gentle hand; the breeze making her dark hair flow and lift up her cape. Particles of sand move at her bare feet. The sunshine, always present, hits her with its heat. Her vision is unclear. She can distinguish what she sees in the distance. But not and the closest person to her.
What she knows is that the silhouette in front of her is a person, because it looks like one, with their short hair and brown clothes. And it talks like one, with enthusiasm.
“We’re almost close.”
Placing her hand on her forehead to avoid the sun, she looks at the person. She doesn’t realize if they’re looking at her back. She wants to ask something, but words are stuck in her throat. She takes one step, and then another one, and when she lifts her hand to touch them, to feel if that person is real and to see them more clearly, she first closes her eyes...
...and when she slowly opens them again, Mafuyu does not see a blue sky and its blinding sun, nor the flowing sand. And definitely not a person. But a grey ceiling. She gets off her bed of books, and instead of sand dunes, she sees towers of books in all sizes, shapes and colors, messy desks with lamps' lights on and infinite bookshelves.
Oh. It was just a dream. Another one of the many dreams of the exact same type.
The girl has lost count of how many dreams involving the outside world she has had. And despite all the wonderful places she would visit in her dreams, she wakes up in the same place. A place she starts to despise more day by day.
But what can be horrible about an enormous library with countless books which talk about absolutely everything you could ever learn in your life, from languages and laws of mechanics, to fun facts about wombats, kiwi birds and kangaroos, to the daily life of the ancient Egyptian civilization and to tips and tricks for your social life? I don’t know, ask Mafuyu! She’s the one whose skin has never been touched by the sun, whose words leaving her mouth are addressed only to herself as they echo the hall, whose eyes have never seen the deep blue of the ocean or emerald hills covered by tall trees unless they’re drawn on paper, and who definitely lacks any social skills. And she is living right here, in this remote place.
Living in the library is easy. The purple haired girl always magically receives some tasteless bread, meat, peeled potatoes, carrots, apples, milk and water every morning, afternoon and dinner. Mafuyu has a special place where she can wash herself with soap in a massive wooden pot, and in one of the four corners of the hall she made an improvised bed made of thick books, two purple cushions and her only blanket peppered with small white bunnies. Her clothes are few, and she owns only one pair of shoes, which surprisingly have never broken. On the entrance wall she has one mirror in which she can see her pale and tired reflection each day.
Mafuyu’s just doing her small and simple morning routine before starting her usual business in the library. This is all just the bare minimum. Enough for her life in this isolated place where you are feeling like in a cave: with too little light, only coming from the lamps on the desks, and freezing cold. And on top of that, there are some rules the girl must follow. She doesn’t remember when she received them; she’s after all the only one living here. But Mafuyu remembers she has written them on a piece of paper and keeps them inside one of the books which form her bed.
Books are your only friends and mentors. These objects are the only way of learning about you and life. And she has been learning for who knows when. Each day she finishes at least one book, even two or more if they're easy to read. She can't really call them friends though. They're just objects.
Time and space are just illusions. Of course they are, if the only thing to measure time she possesses is an hourglass which only shows how much a minute lasts, and she can’t exactly locate her home on the world’s map.
You must take care of the library. Books are all treasures, and a library of books is like a chamber full of gold for an explorer. If she doesn’t spend her time reading, then Mafuyu is arranging them on the bookshelves and desks, and then dusting them off. Almost all of them are still intact.
And of course. Rule number 0. The sacred one. The answer and the source of all the problems.
You can never leave your home.
Mafuyu has always wished to take a glimpse of the outside world and has tried everything she could to get out of the library. But every time she touches the doorknob from the library entrance, her fingers remain stuck and weak, without moving the door at all until some time passes and she can pull her hand away. She has searched everywhere to find another exit, at least one window or a secret passage, but nothing. The entire building is all just four walls (because of that the girl has asked herself multiple times how she is able to breathe. Perhaps this home is magical).
Despite everything, life goes on as if some pages of a book are being turned. Mafuyu wakes up, washes herself up, eats, reads, cleans, dusts, builds something out of these books to cure boredom, and these actions repeat for the entire day, and then entire weeks, months, seasons, years... and then she keeps questioning herself.
How long has it been since the librarian first acknowledged the existence of herself and her home? How old is she? What’s the time? Where is she right now? How far is she from a human? Will she ever meet a human? So many questions, and yet all of them can be answered only in her dreams, when she falls asleep in her bed of books, and sees breath-taking landscapes, the sky during day and night, creatures of all kinds, sizes and colors and people walking by her side. Too bad everything in these dreams are not real...
...until today. When, as the librarian is dusting off some books from the physics section while reading out loud titles like Newton’s biography, Everything one should know about machines or Light bulbs and how to enlighten them, she hears something unusual. Something new, a loud noise coming from outside the library and sounding like a hammer. Mafuyu turns her head towards the entrance. After some silent moments, the noise is heard again. And that’s when the girl realizes what it is. A knock.
The girl walks to the door, stares at it, places a hand on the doorknob, and keeps it there. This is new; it has never happened before. Is there anyone outside, or just the wind which has learned how to knock despite no book claiming that it has this kind of ability? Can she open it? And if she can, will she finally see the outside world and the outside people? What should she expect? But the rules... Mafuyu has to respect them. Though, she’s sure greeting someone is no problem. With that, she carefully pushes the door.
The first thing Mafuyu notices is the small part of the outside world. It’s more simple than she thought it would be, but it does look like a scenery from her dreams. She finally sees the sky, that vast blue above everything else. She can finally see the land, covered in golden sand, stones of all sizes, but nothing more. It’s just this landscape. Behind a human.
Mafuyu lifts her head to face the stranger. The first and maybe only human she sees in her life. A young person, a boy around her age (does that mean she finally has an age?), with fire-like hair and curious olive eyes. He’s taller than her, and tanner than her too, and his clothes look very messy. The bandana on his forehead looks interesting, and the big brown backpack he’s carrying must be heavy. This person surely is tired, but despite that, he’s staring at her back in a strange way, with the corners of his mouth curving upwards. This whole silent moment when the two are just observing each other is really– now the librarian can’t find a perfect word to describe this. Weird may be the best answer.
The unknown person is the first one who uses his voice, while keeping that strange expression.
“Hello there!”
Only two words. The first words Mafuyu has heard in her life without coming from her own mouth. What other shocking stuff is waiting for the girl? Her eyes widen a little and she lets out a small sound out of surprise. But then she realizes she has to answer back.
“Uh, hi.”
Unlike the new tough and powerful voice she has just heard, hers is a lot quieter and more serious. After greeting the stranger, Mafuyu asks him something else, this time trying to speak a little louder.
“Can I help you with anything?”
It's the stranger's turn to be silent for a few seconds now. It takes a while until he asks something.
“Do you have any water?”
A request. She’s been asked to do something. It's better to help the person in need.
“Ah, yes! Of course, I’ll be right back.”
Fortunately Mafuyu does own two plastic cups she pours water into every day. The librarian leaves the door open and rushes towards a table where she last saw the cups, picks one and pours water from a cold kettle in it, then goes back to the entrance to hand it to the stranger, carefully enough not to spill anything on the floor. He drinks the liquid in less than a second, then sighs.
“Thanks. I needed it. It’s so hot outside and my bedpan’s been empty for a day.”
“Glad I could help.” The girl bows politely. “I read in more books that a human is able to survive without water for only around three days. You must have been very thirsty.”
“I was. Still am, but at least my throat is less sore than before.”
The stranger chuckles, and Mafuyu nods a little. That’s when she remembers how she one day read that she needs to introduce herself every time she meets someone new. “By the way, my name is Mafuyu.”
“Nice to meet you! Call me Akito.”
“Akito...” The girl repeats, slower than how he pronounced. That’s the most melodious name she’s ever heard, compared to hers, which Mafuyu only picked up from a book because she considered it cool. It’s even more pleasing when she hears another person’s voice saying that name. It makes her chest a little... she can’t describe what she feels in her chest yet.
She looks at her left hand clutched to her chest without her intention, then stares back at the boy. “May I help you with anything else, Akito?”
Akito glances at the golden landscape from behind for a second. “I’d kinda like to. Do you mind if I stay here tonight? I’ve been travelling through this deserted place for a long time, and I need to rest somewhere safe. I have to say, this place where you live right now is interesting and I'm sure it's a safe place. So, may I please stay here?”
This must be her luckiest day of her life. The librarian has never received guests until now. This is going to be really interesting. Mafuyu takes a few steps behind and lets him in. “Come inside.”
She watches the person stepping forward, his dirty boots with sand on the soles touching the cold concrete of the floor and his eyes staring with admiration at the library.
“I haven't seen anything like this before.” The boy murmurs and then turns his head back at the librarian. “This is where you live? Right in the middle of nowhere?”
“Is it really in the middle of nowhere?”
Akito’s curiosity turns into confusion. He raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean? Do you not know where you are? Have you never left this place before?”
Mafuyu shakes her head. “I'm not allowed to leave my home; it's part of the rules. This was actually the first time I saw how the outside world looked with my own eyes, and not from the books.”
“Ah, I see...”
The stranger's expression seems less happier than before, but it quickly changes. Mafuyu doesn't understand what he's feeling. Does Akito not like it here? It's not like she likes this place either; she has neutral feelings about the library. At the moment.
“How about I show you a tour around here?” Mafuyu suggests. She hopes that will get him out of this uneasy state. Based on his nod, he agrees with her small proposal.
“Lead the way!”
For the following minutes, who knows how long it lasted in reality, Mafuyu shows Akito all the reading spaces and all the sections with bookshelves filled with books about various topics. She doesn’t forget to mention how she learnt about everything happening in the outside world from all the library’s books. The boy’s gaze is on the bookshelves this whole time, staring with the same look he threw at her when she opened the door. Admiring them as if each object is a precious artifact.
“So, you learnt all of these words and facts by yourself? That’s quite the talent!” He praises her. “I’m impressed!”
“I wouldn’t really call it a talent. It’s just the bare minimum.”
“Bare minimum? How stupid of you to think that! I wish I could do it as well as you.”
They are in the Fantasy Literature section when Mafuyu stops to turn her head at the boy when she realizes something. “Do you not know how to read?” She asks the boy.
This question is rather stupid, but it's already too late. All she hopes now is that he didn't get offended.
“No, I don't.” Akito admits.
Another surprising thing. Shocking, actually. Forget all those facts from books which Mafuyu couldn't believe, like how in a big city more cats than residents live, how some things that cannot be seen with the naked eye can in fact be seen with some special tools entitled microscopes, or how a long time ago people used to eat snow with spices to give the frozen water a little bit of flavor. His answer is by far the most unbelievable thing she's ever heard or seen.
“No way. Not even a little? Not even small words like ‘and’ or ‘in’?”
“I do know numbers instead. They help me with travelling or with time, but it's hard for me to read those with more than two digits. And even that I consider it as one of my biggest accomplishments. But reading actual words, that's just too hard for me.”
Mafuyu doesn't understand how he could live or make it through life without reading. “Then if you travel, how do you know where to go? You wouldn't be able to read a map I guess.”
Akito nods as he opens a book he picked up from a shelf and flips through its pages. “Yeah, I'm not good with maps or compasses. And to be fair, I don’t know where to go either. Just here and there. If I need help, I ask people.”
Of course he did. He's from the outside world, there's no way he hasn't talked to anyone. And that’s wonderful. He may not be able to find knowledge through books, instead he finds it through people. Unlike her, he communicates with people from everywhere. He can walk everywhere and talk with everyone. Mafuyu feels a little envious. Just a little. It seems much better than staying in this cold library.
“That... that must be so nice.” She softly says. “To hear other voices, to walk by one person’s side, to admire beautiful landscapes. It feels like a dream.”
For a moment, Mafuyu thinks that she got carried away with her dream, because she notices the way Akito’s eyebrows furrow, his smile fading along with that bright radiance of his, as hot as the sun. Now his expression is almost as cold as this place. Did she say something she shouldn’t have?
“It’s not as nice as it may seem, Mafuyu.”
“What do you mean?”
The boy closes the book and places it back in its place, then glances at the librarian. “Do you have any books about countries and nature with images?”
“Uh, yes. I guess it’s in the Geography section. Follow me.”
The girl leads him through the bookshelves for a few seconds until they reach the section. Mafuyu stops in front of a shelf from where she picks up without difficulty a heavy, thick book. Then she walks towards a clean desk with two wooden chairs by its side and a lamp that is about to go out in any minute. She places the book on the desk and invites Akito to take a seat.
“You may take a look.” She adds.
That’s what the adventurer does. She swipes a few pages filled with information about all the secrets of Earth and beyond and stops when he reaches two pages with colorful images, representing people in different attires talking to each other or doing different actions.
“What do you first think when you see these people?” He asks the girl, his tone more serious than before.
“I think how wonderful they are and how many wonderful things they can see and do.”
“Of course you would think that. I’m the only living being you’ve ever met.”
“Is it not true?” She raises an eyebrow. Did Mafuyu really misjudge the people?
“No, some of them are.” Akito sighs. “But most of the people are the opposite of nice. I’ve met thousands, maybe millions of people. Some tried to scam me or steal my money, others tried to hurt me, and others did in fact hurt me. I got into violent fights with people. People insult each other. People lie to each other. People even have the audacity to control other people and nations. That’s straight up crazy. And what I said is just the tip of the iceberg. People are capable of doing unbelievable things, but most of these things are harmful.”
Mafuyu can’t help but gasp, covering her mouth with her left palm. She has read books in which many characters tried and even succeeded in taking power and doing bad things, but she thought these were pure fiction and not real. Either she’s portrayed humanity in the wrong way all this time, or she and Akito have different views over humanity.
“That’s sad...” She murmurs. “Do you not like people at all?”
“I’m just saying they aren’t as nice as you may think.” He doesn’t take his eyes off the book, he just turns the page. Other pictures with people appear. “But if they want, they can be nice. Humans are horrible, and at the same time brilliant. I got along with as many people as I argued with. They’re capable of creating so many wonderful things and of taking care of nature so well.”
“So, I assume you have mixed feelings about them.” Mafuyu murmurs, and the boy nods.
“Yes. But it’s been a long time since I stopped caring about what I think of people, or what they think of me. Right now, I have only one purpose. Only one desire.”
“What is it?”
“To find my home.”
Home... The library is Mafuyu’s home. Since she has one, she thought everyone has a home. But Akito doesn’t. “Why?” She wonders. “Did you get lost and now you can’t find your home, or you became homeless? Or you never had one in the first place?”
“The latter.” Akito answers directly. “I don’t know where I was born and I don’t know where my parents are either. I’m just a wanderer who’s traveled around the world since I know about my existence. All I want is to find a place where I can get comfortable and warm, and then to stay there for the rest of my life. That’s my ideal home. I’ve been trying to find this place I could call home for years, I walked around the world through mud, stones and snow, I explored different parts of it, I made sure I didn’t step in a place I’ve been before. When night comes and I need shelter, I rest wherever I can. In the forest, in inns and guest houses, in a tent or simply under the stars, and when morning comes, I pack my things and head towards an unknown direction, hoping I’ll finally find my home.”
The adventurer then sighs in disappointment. “And so far, I haven’t found it. As each day passes, I start losing hope, thinking that maybe it’s destined for me to die without the warmth of a home. To be honest, I wish I were you, living only in one place, away from the world’s dangers and troubles.”
Akito looks down, staying silent for a while. So does Mafuyu, placing her elbows on the desk and contemplating what he said. She feels sorry for the wanderer. And at the same time, she feels a little grudging. He still has the opportunity to explore, whereas she doesn’t.
“We live such different lives, you and I.” The librarian speaks up, catching the boy’s attention. “As opposite as day and night. And yet we crave for each other’s lives so badly.”
“Yeah.” He chuckles, a sound so lovely to the girl. “It’s quite ironic, isn’t it?”
“Mhm. But tell me, Akito, aren’t we maybe... too ungrateful?”
“Maybe. We’re humans, after all. And humans always want something they don’t have.”
The two of them make eye contact. Olive meets indigo. Looking into her eyes, Akito smiles. The same smile as the one before, at the entrance. When they were so close, their worlds separated only by the library’s door. That smile of his, Mafuyu thinks, is so beautiful.
“You know, Mafuyu, you remind me a lot of the northern lights.”
“The phenomenon from the Arctic Circle? You’ve seen them?” She asks, her interest coming back. Akito looks as surprised as her.
“You know about them?”
“Of course! They’re mentioned in every book I’ve read about the northern parts of the world. These lights must be so mesmerizing!”
His smile is even brighter than before, a smirk almost. “Oh, you have no idea how many things I’ve witnessed.”
Somehow, the topic about a strange phenomenon happening in the North leads to Mafuyu’s most interesting and fun hours of her life. She talks more in just one hour than she ever did in one year. And not to herself, as she used to in order to drive away boredom, but to a human of flesh and bone. She first talks about the many things she read in her books, explaining so that Akito understands. In return, she listens to the wanderer telling with an admirable passion about all his adventures and shenanigans with people he met only once in his lifetime in every single part of the world. He’s had so many, it feels weird to think that he still hasn’t explored the planet entirely. She realizes she actually likes listening to his blabbers.
Sometimes, Akito takes out of his backpack some small objects he uses daily when exploring or which he bought from shops, workshops and markets spread all over the world. He shows the librarian his empty leather bedpan, a small metal figurine in the shape of a flute bought from a festival in the Anzi, a porcelain bowl he often puts his food into, a wool blanket to keep him warm when sleeping in unknown places, some changing clothes, a cape, some coins and other objects Mafuyu finds intriguing.
During this time, the two also eat dinner: boiled potatoes with carrots and apple slices for dessert. For the first time, Mafuyu considered her food to be less bland. She also got to eat more than she usually does, since Akito refused to eat carrots (according to him, carrots are the most disgusting food known to mankind and should be banned in every country. On top of that, he also said with confidence that he would rather choose to die than let his tongue touch that vegetable). The librarian doesn’t forget to offer him some water, pouring some in his cup.
After dinner, they chat for a while, until Akito suddenly yawns. “What time is it?” He mumbles.
“I don’t know; I don’t have any clocks. But I think it’s night, if you’re so tired.”
“...’m not tired, just–” The wanderer doesn’t finish his sentence, because he yawns once again. “‘Kay, maybe I’m tired. Just a little.”
Mafuyu understands what she has to do. She gets up from her seat and just when she’s about to lead him to the corner of the library where she usually sleeps so he too can rest well, she remembers something.
The library has only one bed. And her bed is relatively a small one, made out of only twelve books long and six books wide; it fits only one person. How would she know her bed is supposed to be larger than it already is since she’s never welcomed guests to spend the night in her library before?
The girl explains the problem to Akito, while also coming up with a solution. “I could possibly add more books so that the bed can be wider or just build another bed separately. I will need some help though with carrying–”
“But what if we just shared it?” He interrupts Mafuyu, who upon hearing that suggestion, she thinks for a moment, about how this is in fact a genius idea. Not only does she not need more books anymore, but since nights in the library are usually freezing cold, with someone by her side she will feel warmer. Not to mention, she has two cushions, one for each of them. She’s about to share her opinion when she remarks how Akito’s cheeks redden.
“What’s wrong? Are you feeling ill?” She asks worryingly and moves closer to the wanderer. The girl wants to cup his cheeks to find out if they burn or hurt or there’s another problem, because she might know a method to stop this. Mafuyu doesn’t do that though, not only because she shouldn’t do that without asking for permission, but also because Akito turns his head away.
“I– uhh–” He stutters. “Nevermind. Forget I said anything.”
“Why? It’s not a bad idea.”
Akito faces her again, then after a yawn, he sighs. “You’re so oblivious, aren’t you?”
“I don’t get it.” She tilts her head. That proves his point.
“Are you sure my idea is good? Is that fine to you?”
Mafuyu shrugs. “Why not? Follow me, I’ll show you where I always sleep.”
They both get up and Akito follows the librarian to a smaller corner in the hall. It looks different from the other spaces inside. Bookshelves are still present, but way less than in other parts, and instead of being filled with thick books about philosophy or history, these ones are thinner and smaller. Just some simple storybooks about brave animals and children going on silly adventures while at the same time learning about the value of friendship and love. And right in the middle of the bookshelves lies the bed. Just as Mafuyu said, it looks small.
“My apologies if you might sleep uncomfortable tonight.” The librarian says as Akito sits down on the bed. “Book covers aren’t usually soft, so you might imagine you’re sleeping on the concrete or on a very flat rock.”
“No, it’s fine.” Akito assures her with a smile, then gets his backpack he’s been carrying for hours off his shoulders and places it next to the bed before taking his blanket out of it. The wanderer takes off his boots and his bandana and covers his body with his blanket. He yawns again and looks at her.
“This place is really interesting, y’know, Mafuyu?”
“I still don’t understand why you like this library.” She answers and sits down next to him. The girl doesn’t cover herself; she’s not tired yet. “Maybe because it’s the only place I’m allowed to live in, because it makes me think of things I don’t have the opportunity to experience, or because it’s cold, not shivering cold, but... I guess you know what I mean. I can’t find a good thing about my home.”
“Well, your home basically knows the entire knowledge of this world. You learn so many things, including reading. And besides–” Akito smirks a little. “–this library has such a friendly and nice host who could make me feel at home.”
“Is that so?” Mafuyu murmurs, drowned in thoughts. So, she did make the guest feel good. If only she could get other visitors one day. Or at least, if only Akito could stay longer; even for only one day. Or perhaps–
No. She shouldn’t get her hopes up. The wanderer said it himself: he will stop exploring when he will find his home. And despite liking this place and finding advantages when the resident of the library couldn't find any, this place still isn’t his home. It will never be. Tomorrow, he will walk out of the door, and Mafuyu will be lonely. Just her and the millions of books. Again.
The girl looks at Akito once again, who rests his head on one of the cushions with a softer smile, still not taking his eyes off her. They should spend more time together; that’s what Mafuyu realizes. As long as possible.
“Would you like me to read you something, Akito?” She asks him as she gets up, and the boy nods. She picks up from a small shelf a very thin book, with two bunnies on a night background as cover.
“This is the first book I remember reading. It’s also the book which inspired me to choose ‘Mafuyu’ as my name.”
She lays down on the bed right next to Akito, covering her legs with her own blanket. They’re sitting a little cramped, but it’s not that much of a problem. In Mafuyu’s opinion, at least. She takes a deep breath and starts reading.
“Once upon a time, in a far away land with plenty of snow, lived a small, black bunny. Its name was– oh?”
The story has just started, and Akito has just fallen asleep. He is tired, after all. Exploring the desert is exhausting, so he needs a proper sleep.
Mafuyu closes the book and gently settles it next to her side of the bed. She’ll put it back in its place on the bookshelf tomorrow. She moves on one side facing the boy and watches him as he slumbers. Akito looks so peaceful, it makes the corners of her mouth curve upwards a little. She could allow herself to throw a small smile at him. Just for a little while.
In an accidental move, her hand touches his. It’s hot. No, not hot; it doesn’t burn. And it’s definitely not cold either. The cold hand belongs to Mafuyu, while his hand... Is it wrong for her to associate the temperature of his hand with that small feeling in her chest when she first saw him from behind the library’s door. What should she call it? Warmth? Isn’t it how the wanderer would like his home to be like? Warm? Yes.
Akito’s hand is warm. So warm, even her own hand doesn’t feel as cold as before. Her fingers entwine with his and her head is brought closer to his chest. It’s also warm, his whole body is warm. It’s like her blanket with bunnies, even though it seems like it does a better job than her own object. In this cold library, she found warmth. Not only in his body, heating hers, but also in her heart. That warmth appears once again, and it feels so good. Too bad this feeling is ephemeral.
Just thinking about how she will probably wake up alone makes Mafuyu shiver. She doesn’t want Akito to leave her; not yet. There’s still so much to talk about, and if he leaves, she will feel lonely again in her home.
In her home...
“Akito.” Mafuyu whispers, well aware that he can’t hear her. “Is it possible to consider a place where you grew up and never left... not actually your home?”
Blue sky. Hot sun. Both of these above golden dunes, standing in such an imposing manner in front of her. She feels the wind blowing and touching her face like a gentle hand; the breeze making her dark hair flow and lift up her cape. Particles of sand move at her bare feet. The sunshine, always present, hits her with its heat. Her vision is unclear. She can distinguish what she sees in the distance. But not and the closest person to–
No. She can distinguish him. Mafuyu knows him. That’s her guest over there. That’s Akito, and he’s leading her through a desert. Is it the same desert, the same landscape she saw from behind the door of the library?
Is she in a dream? It seems so.
“We’re almost close.” She hears him say.
Placing her hand on her forehead to avoid the sun, Mafuyu looks at the person. She doesn’t realize whether Akito is looking at her back or not. She wants to ask something, but words are stuck in her throat. She takes one step, and then another one. And then the girl stops. She doesn’t understand why; she just stops, and watches as he’s walking away from her. He doesn’t even turn around to see why she stopped. Almost as if she doesn’t exist.
“Akito?” Mafuyu calls him.
No answer.
“Akito!” This time louder.
Still no response. Is he ignoring her, or he just can’t hear her? Why is he walking away?
“Akito! Where are you going? Can you even hear me?”
Mafuyu’s questions almost sound like yells. She’s never yelled before, and she’s surprised she even has the power to speak so loudly. But that doesn’t matter even a little. Akito is still moving further from her, towards nowhere, and she can’t stop him. Her feet are frozen, buried in the sand. The trade winds are colder, much colder than they’re supposed to be. As cold as the library, the place she grew up. The girl feels that coldness once again. Now that Akito, the nice and warm Akito, the human she enjoyed spending time with so much is leaving her, Mafuyu will continue to live in that everlasting coldness.
But she doesn’t want to. Mafuyu lifts her hand to reach out to him, to imagine herself catching him and his warmth, she closes her eyes.
And when she opens them again in a quick move widening them, she’s faced with a small, empty space of her bed and the lack of a backpack and of a pair of dirty boots next to it.
Mafuyu gets up, staring at the emptiness of her bed. She places her hand on the books. She can’t make out what their temperature is. Did he already leave? Without at least telling her a farewell? But he can’t have already...
The girl grits her teeth and gets off her bed, then runs towards the entrance, as fast as she can, as if her whole life depended on checking if Akito has left the library for good or if he’s still there. It’s too early for him to leave.
Relief embraces Mafuyu when she arrives at the entrance of the library and the wanderer is still there. He’s just about to open the door, when he turns back when the girl calls him by his name.
“You’re leaving already.” She sighs, either of relief because she still caught him before it was too late, either because of the small effort made, or out of disappointment.
“Uh, yes.” Akito blinks. “I wanted to say good morning and goodbye to you after I woke up and gathered my stuff, but you were still sleeping and I wanted to let you sleep a little more.”
“Well, you shouldn’t have.” Mafuyu replies with a rather harsh tone she’s never used. “I’m lucky I caught you just in time. If I didn’t then I’d really never see you again.”
She looks down at her hands and clenches them a little, then back at the wanderer. “You really can’t stay here longer?”
“I’m sorry. I have to go. I still have to find my home, and this place, even though I like it very much, it’s still like every other place I’ve stayed in.”
Then, he opens the door, revealing the outside world, that glimpse of golden and azure once again, one last time. He smiles at Mafuyu softly, even though their final moments are nothing to smile at. “Still, it’s a place where I’d love to come back. Who knows, perhaps I’ll find myself at your door once again. Thank you for your hospitality, Mafuyu. You are very nice, maybe the nicest person I know. Farewell.”
Akito sounds regretful. His voice, unusually quiet and sorrowful, as if he doesn’t want to leave either, it hurts her. It makes her imagine her heart shattering into many pieces by a freezing cold wind. Mafuyu brings her hands to her chest and nods. “Take care.” She whispers.
The girl wants to do something. She can’t stay like this. Watching Akito exit the library as sunshine greets him with its warm touch, hurts her so much. It’s painful. So, so painful. And as long as she keeps on living in this library, her heart will never stop aching. She still has to stay home; she can’t leave her home. But is this place really–
Mafuyu’s eyes widen when she finally understands what’s wrong. “Wait!”
Then it all happens in less than a second. Time stops, so Mafuyu can do what she wants to do, even if she doesn’t realize it until later. She lowers her head, takes three steps forward, holds the doorknob with one hand and with the other she tugs Akito by his sleeve. When he turns his head at her in surprise, everything comes back to reality.
“Mafuyu? What are you–”
“Take me with you.”
“What?!”
Akito is shocked and doesn’t know what else to say. The girl raises her head and stares into his eyes, ready to explain, talking louder than ever. “Do not let me stay here, Akito! I want to explore the world, just like you. I want to get out of this place; I'm tired of being stuck between four walls, with books who only tell and do not show. I want to know more about the world with my own eyes, and experience everything by myself. I want to feel the sun’s heat on my skin. I want to hold seashells on my palms. I want to climb a mountain, to meet new people, to find a coin and buy something special with it. I want to smell flowers, to listen to someone play an instrument to talk, to laugh, to feel warmth and happiness at least once in this life!”
The wanderer is taken aback by Mafuyu’s words. He is about to accept, but remembers something she said the other day that makes him hesitate. “I would, I’d gladly take you with me, but what about your home?”
Mafuyu responds in a second. “I am cursed to never leave my home, but this cold library... It isn't my home. It never was. Still, as long as I keep exploring this beautiful world, I won't need a home. And I promise, I will help you find one. You, such an incredible person, deserve a home where you can finally rest. But first, please take me with you.”
She said only a few words, a small speech which could be very much welcomed in a science-fiction romance novel, and Mafuyu already feels tired. She waits for his answer patiently, with hope, not letting go of his sleeve. Both of them stay silent for one-two minutes.
Eventually, Akito glances a bit at the desert from behind, then back at Mafuyu, and grins. “Pack your things.”
The girl reveals the brightest smile she’s ever made. As bright and warm as the sun.
Preparing herself for the upcoming adventure with Akito by her side lasts less than she thought. In the meantime, Mafuyu grabs every essential object: the remaining food and water, her bunny blanket, the only clothes she possesses, her soap, two books about the world they’re living in to help them with travelling and her pair of shoes, way too impractical to walk with in the desert despite still being intact, and puts them in his backpack. Her stuff is going to stay there for a while, until they can no longer be used or until Mafuyu buys her own backpack from somewhere. The wanderer also offered her his cape to protect her from the sand flowing along with the desert’s trade winds. In about ten minutes, they’re done.
Now, they’re back at the entrance, with the door open, faced once again with the outside world. Akito is the first one who easily walks out the door. Mafuyu is next, but she’s feeling quite nervous. She still can’t believe this is happening. The moment she’s desired all this time is finally happening. The girl takes slow steps not keeping her eyes off the landscape and the boy in front of her. One, and another one, and another one.
And then the first rays of sunshine reach her pale skin and face. Some enter her eyes, making her squirm a little and close them quickly, but she keeps walking slowly. One more step, and the girl is fully under the sunlight. It feels nice. So nice, especially with the addition of the gentle wind caressing her face and the hot sand underneath her feet. Mafuyu likes these new sensations, completely different from what she would usually feel inside the library. She turns her face to the building, expecting to see some grey walls, not the expansion of the desert to the horizon. Behind her there’s only the door, large open, presenting the monotonous interior with bookshelves.
“Is this how you found out about my library, Akito?” Mafuyu asks, and the boy nods as he crosses his arms.
“I only found the door, not knowing what could be behind it.”
The girl stares at the door, and puts her hand on the doorknob. Yesterday, her hand was shaking when she touched it, scared of opening it. It shakes now too, but this time, she’s not afraid to do the move that will change the course of her life. A mysterious portal she should probably be thankful for letting her explore the world with the wanderer; the gateway of two parallel worlds, both as different as fire and ice and simultaneously as similar as two water droplets, is about to close soon.
“Whenever you are ready, Mafuyu, and we can go.”
Mafuyu sighs, then looks one more time inside. There’s no one there, except her past, judging her with piercing eyes for daring to disobey the most important rule. But she doesn’t care anymore. She decides to bury it in books, darkness and coldness by pushing the door with the least power, letting it close by itself with a loud thud.
And then everything goes silent.
Blue sky. Hot sun. Both of these above golden dunes, standing in such an imposing manner in front of her. She feels the wind blowing and touching her face like a gentle hand; the breeze making her dark hair flow and lifting up her cape. Particles of sand move at her bare feet. The sunshine, always present, hits her with its heat. Her vision is unclear. She can distinguish what she sees in the distance. And Akito, the closest person to her. He speaks to her with enthusiasm.
“We’re almost close. I think we’re twenty minutes away from a village next to an oasis. We can rest there. Aren’t you excited?”
“A little.” She responds.
Placing her hand on her forehead to avoid the sun, she looks at Akito, who turns his head back at her with the same smile he threw at her when they first saw each other or when they were face-to-face at that desk from the library. “Tell me if you’re tired so we can stop our walk, okay? This is your first time travelling, and the desert is not the best place for exploring. Are you tired?”
Mafuyu shakes her head. She doesn’t need to stop, and she doesn’t want to stop. She has to admit, it’s a little harder than she thought it would be, with sand sometimes entering in her eyes and burning her feet, but so far so good. Mafuyu’s hand holds onto the wanderer’s, not letting go of it. His palm is as warm as forever, as it should be.
“Akito.”
“Yes?” He answers. He hears her clearly.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being here and doing such a big favor to me. I promise to help you find your home.” Her lips curve upwards at him. Akito opens his mouth to say something, but stops. He just simpers back at her. The girl is a little curious about what he was about to say, but forgets about it. It was probably a simple and friendly act of recognition.
Mafuyu closes her eyes, and opens them again. She sees no grey or black, only blue, yellow, orange and warmth. She is glad that this is not a dream. It never was.
And it will never be, as long as her heart will feel warm.