Work Text:
Sam sat where Dean pointed when he got home from school. From the look on Dean’s face, this was not going to be a comfortable conversation, so he might as well sit on the couch and let Dean yell. It meant Dean wasn’t planning to punch him, so this probably wasn’t about Sam borrowing Baby last night or anything to do with their dad. Still, he was surprised when what Dean came out with was, “So. Do you even know which relationships are real and which are fake anymore?”
“I… for the most part, yes.” Really, what business was it of Dean’s that Sam had ended up being his friend group’s designated fake boyfriend when someone needed one? Dean had gone through all the same training, learning to come up with lies on the spot that maintained a plausible cover. He was known to be open to polyamory, so if someone caught him with someone else there were ways to explain it away. He respected boundaries and was happy to follow whatever lead his partner set for affection. Becky was only mostly joking when she suggested he go pro at this.
“The relationships I know are real are Jess and Castiel. Jess because she’s got no reason to fake anything with me, Castiel because we just talked about this Tuesday after class and he admitted that he was no longer doing this out of curiosity or a desire to experience human romance in a safe environment. We both knew it was a risk when we talked about it, and agreed that we’d be okay if it happened.”
“How sure are you about Jess?” Dean demanded. “Because people lie, you know. Cas, probably not, he’s too much of a nerd angel to think about lying about something like this, but Jess could be lying to you.”
“Why, though? She’s got nothing to hide, she’s just as into polyamory as I am, and things with her feel right.” Dean still looked skeptical, but Sam decided to just move on. “On the obviously fake side, Becky’s got that stalker ex still after her, so fake dating me gets her some security from him. Luis wants to piss off his homophobic sister-in-law by faking having a boyfriend. Charlie’s continuing to get her school paid for by her homophobic parents by pretending to have a boyfriend. Zach and I put a stop to things a couple weeks ago, he got what he needed to work out that no, he isn’t gay, he’s ace.”
“And none… okay, really only Becky to worry about there, I guess, but you’re sure she’s not gonna pull a romcom on you?”
“She might, and we’ll talk about it and figure out what happens from there.” Sam shot Dean a weirded out look. “What the heck is up with this interrogation anyway? I know you don’t get the whole polyamory thing, but until today, you’ve always taken a not my circus, not my monkeys approach as long as I was happy with my life.”
“Yeah, well…” Dean cleared his throat and looked away. “You left out Brady.”
“Remember how I said ‘for the most part’?” Fair enough, Dean’s face said for him. “I thought Brady was real, especially since he and Jess also have their own relationship, but since Thanksgiving, he’s been different. Real or fake, I’m not sure I want to continue that relationship. I was actually going to check in with Jess after our modeling session tonight, see what she thought, because me breaking up with Brady could affect her relationship with him. At the very least, she deserves advance warning that I’m considering it.”
“Yeah. Okay.” Dean headed for the refrigerator and grabbed a beer. “Brady dropped by and said that he was worried about you. That he never figured you for a slut or a player who couldn’t tell the difference between real love and using people. That there’s a new girl coming around who seemed to want a relationship with you, and you thought it was real when it was so obviously fake.”
“He must be talking about Ruby.” Sam rolled his eyes. “Jess and Castiel both say she’s bad news. Brady’s the only one of the people who get veto privilege who thinks I should be taking her up on it, so I’m really confused about him coming here. I’m not saying you’re lying!” he added hurriedly as Dean started to protest in offense. “I just told you Brady’s acting off, this is another example of him getting weird on me!”
“Oh. Yeah, okay.” Dean swallowed half his beer. “You let people veto your other relationships?”
“Depends. If it’s a one-off, someone has a wedding to go to and got a plus one and don’t want to show up alone because an ex will be there or something like that, that’s all on me. If they’re wanting something that could go long enough for them to discover something about themself or real feelings could develop, my current real relationships get veto.” He hesitated, and then added, “Sometimes they also give a preemptive approval. I’ve got two of those right now.”
“Huh. Kevin and Antonio?” Not bad guesses, considering they were Sam’s closest friends he wasn’t currently in or faking a relationship with or in a relationship of their own that they intended to keep monogamous. Still, only half right.
“Kevin, yes. You’ll never guess the other one, so…”
Even with the hint, it was a surprise when Dean groaned and drank the rest of his beer. As he got another, he grumbled, “Seriously? And not just Brady turning into a weirdo, Jess and Castiel too?”
“Castiel was the first one to bring it up. He’s not human, he doesn’t care about the boundaries most humans would have there.” It had been a very weird day when Castiel did mention it, especially since it was in front of Jess and Brady. “Another sign of Brady being weird is that when he and Jess did come around to the idea and recognize that our fucked-up childhood had fucked-up consequences, this was one of the less fucked-up things about it, because obviously if we ever do cross that line, it’ll be because we both chose to and want it. Or we’re faking something for a hunt.” That much, they had done before, and it hadn’t been nearly as weird or wrong-feeling as they’d expected. Hearing that had gotten Jess and Brady on board with the idea. “But now Brady’s saying I should move out and get away from you because you’re obviously a groomer.”
“Well that’s not happening. Is it?”
Sam got up and smacked the back of Dean’s head. “Quit being insecure. The only way I’m moving out is if you ask me to because you’ve met someone you think you want to plan your life around or I get to a point where I’m in a situation where I want kids and my coparents and I decide to live together. Even then, as long as it’s okay with the other people, I’d be just fine with you sticking around or sticking around for you and your partner.”
“What if Castiel’s right about us? What if I do want to be with you, like that, for real?” Dean asked.
“I’d like to figure out what I’m doing about Brady before I make a final decision, but if I end up kicking him out, he loses his veto. If you’re serious and not just asking because you’re curious, I can add it to the list of things to talk to Jess about tonight, just to make sure she’s still on board with it being an actual thing in front of her instead of hypothetical. Cas shouldn’t be a problem.” Dean kept silent long enough that Sam finally prompted, “So… am I adding that to the list, or were you just curious?”
“Honestly, I expected you to tell me to go to Hell,” Dean said. “Since I’m not getting an answer tonight, I’m gonna be getting drunk as fuck. Add it to the list.”