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It was a cold evening, a few hours after a round. All the survivors were having dinner together except one, Taph, who was in his cabin. He was curled up on his bed, a feeling he couldnt quite describe consuming him, whether it was sadness or anger at himself he couldnt quite pin point.
He kept thinking back to the last round, usually there was atleast one other person who understood sign language to translate for the others, but this round? Nope, not at all, neither Dusekkar nor Builderman was there, which meant to way for the others to understand him, he felt awful, they all stared at him, clearly not knowing what to do or say, so he just went to set up traps like usual, ignoring the feeling at the back of his head. But god did he feel lonely, heck he always did, the others never seemed to actually mind the lack of a way to speak to him, maybe they didnt even want to.
And god did that thought consume him, it was true he wasnt really close with the others at all, no matter how much he tried to help it all seemed useless. All his efforts to make bonds forgotten by the others in minutes. Was it the awkward way he tried to help people? Or was it just because he couldnt speak?
"why couldnt i have just been normal?" he thought to himself. "why couldnt i have been born like any other person?" he curled up into a tighter ball, trying hard to get rid of those thoughts but failing miserably. "why did i have to be so fucking useless?"
He didnt exactly remember when he got up, he didnt remember when he walked in the bathroom, but he was not sitting there on the floor, the blade Builderman used for shaving his beard in his hand. He was so fucking pathetic, but it was too late to backtrack. he looked at the sleeve he already pulled back, he realized how long its been since hes done this. Old and faded scars still showed on his wrist.
He took a deep breath before swiftly running the blade over his wrist, then a second time, then a fifth... he lost count after the fifteenth. But fuck it felt good, sure the guilt was there, promises to others that he would stop broken, but maybe it was worth it. He looked at his wrist, stained in crimson red, as much as he loved the color, he didnt want anyone seeing him like this. He was about to get up to wipe it off with a towel before he heard the door swing open, making him tense up. He quickly hid his wrist and looked up.
There stood a wide-eyed Builderman. "fuck he saw it" thought Taph to himself, he tried staying calm, acting like nothing has happened. hi Builder." he signed, although he was met with silence, and before he realized what was happening he was getting hugged by the man, tightly at that.
"Taph you fucking idiot." Builderman simply said, Taph couldnt exactly describe what was happening, but one thing for sure was that the other was shaking, trying to not cry. Taph honestly just... stood there, he didnt know what to do, nor was he sure if he should hug the other man back. After an awkward amount of time Taph finally hugged Builderman back, at first it was a simple hug, but later on turned into Taph silently breaking down in Builders arms. Once Taph stopped crying his eyes out and was about to pull away, Builderman tightly gripped him, then led him to their shared bedroom.
"Taph..?" whispered Builderman, trying to get the others attention, and once he did he continued "you know i love you right? so so damn much it hurts." Taph responded by lightly nuzzling against him.
Builderman would hate to admit it, but damn did that gesture turn him on. And finally after an awkward silence he picked Taph up and gently placed him on the bed before pinning him down, which earned him a confused yet flustered expression from Taph. "dont worry your robes can stay on, i know you like your privacy..." Taph had to admit that the sentence made him more flustered, both in the way of realizing what builderman is gonna do and in the way of how sweet he was in the first place.
Before Taph could properly realize what was happening, he already had his pants off and a hand wrapped around his dick. "gosh youre so hard already my love..." And god did that make Taphs mind go hazy, he jerked up into Buildermans hand, urging him to do what he intended to do. Builderman lightly smiled before slowly jerking Taph off. The man bellow him would probably be a moaning mess if he wasnt mute, Builderman didnt really care about that though, if anything it was a plus for him.
After a while of jerking him off silently Builderman collected himself, covered his fingers with his own saliva, the gently slid them into Taphs ass, earning him the honour of seeing Taph trying to adjust with great struggle. "oh youre taking it so well darling..." Taphs head rolled back at that, his dick twitching in Buildermans hand. After Builderman was satified with how Taph adjusted to his fingers, he withdrawed them, making Taph gasp at the sudden emptyness. "mmm... you think you can take my dick?" Taph just nodded vigorously at that, and Builder did exactly what he wanted, gently sliding into him.
Taph shuddered at the intrusion, then adjusted himself so the man could slide in deeper. "oh goodness... oh you sweet... ngh-, good boy..." Taph simply jerked at those words, which Builderman took as the sign to start thursting. Taph felt fucking amazing, to say the least, his eyes rolling so far back he could probably see his brain. Then without really expecting it, Builderman hit his prostate, as embarassed as he wouldve been to say it, that was the thing that made him cum, warm seed covering Buildermans fingers. "aww, cumming so early.. such a sweet thing..." Builderman smirked before roughly hitting his prostate a few more times, making Taph see stars, then he came deep in Taphs ass, gently pulling out and leaning down to kiss his forehead.
"you were such a good boy, Taph..." Builder said before cuddling up to him, which made Taph hug him tightly and nuzzle into him. Then they both fell asleep, bodies intertwined with eachother.