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“Yuri’s holed up in the lab, so I’m going out. If he comes looking for me, tell him I went to bed.”
That's all he says to the Honor Student in passing.
A simple favor, though she probably wouldn't see Yuri.
He rarely leaves the lab these days.
Jiro doesn't know what has him so occupied. There were no projects that he was aware of.
The only thing that came to mind was his Isoprophen X, the drug that would allegedly cure all manner of curses once it was completed.
Maybe it was the looming 'deadline.'
Maybe he's on a roll, and doesn't want to be interrupted.
Maybe he found something so fascinating, it was impossible to tear himself away.
Jiro should know why. It's not like Yuri to keep such things from him.
He's Yuri's loyal assistant, isn't he?
These nighttime outings have become routine. There aren't many places he can safely go on his own, so he finds himself wandering around campus trying to rid himself of this agitation in his heart.
Jiro never used to mind those quiet, lonesome nights. It was ideal for studying and reading. Now, he finds it hard to focus on anything but the missing component of his nights - Yuri.
Logic gave him many reasons not to worry - at least until he could no longer take those reasons at face-value.
If it was work-related, why wasn't he involved?
Whenever he thinks too much about it, he finds his footsteps grow heavy. An odd sort of fatigue washes over him - nothing like the physical tiredness his illness burdens him with. This new form of fatigue affects his will it seems.
He can't be bothered to care where he stops. He just does, settling for anything nearby that he can sit on or lean against.
Tonight, he finds himself leaning against the railing of one of Darkwick's many balconies, resting his arms on the ledge for support.
Not even the gorgeous view could offer his ailing heart succor.
Trying to pinpoint where and how it all began was a poison that was difficult to detect. No amount of 'testing' got him any closer to the cause. Jiro was only left to speculate.
He had tried the more straightforward approach, but the only answer he ever got was that 'this conversation can wait.'
Typical of Yuri to avoid difficult conversation - or maybe he really just couldn't afford a distraction?
Jiro hates how irrational this whole problem is.
He hates how his mind jumps to conclusions like that.
But what else can he do? The only person that can answer his questions simply won't.
Yuri's absence has affected him far more than it ever should have.
Several weeks have already passed, and there was no end in sight.
Did he do something wrong?
He can only think to the most recent mission - a field trip, they called it. Without any knowledge of what the students would face, the ghouls of Darkwick were sent to hunt down several anomalies at a resort.
The whole thing was a disaster - at least on his end.
He was careless, putting his feelings before his good sense.
He put Yuri in danger by forgetting about the curfew - one that was set in place for their safety.
He put them both in danger by letting past trauma take control of his actions. He even needed to be sedated so they could escape.
Yuri assured Jiro it was fine.
The incident became a closely guarded secret between them - and Shinjo - who thankfully had his defensive stigma to save him from Jiro's hysteria.
They all agreed to keep it to themselves. That much wasn't a problem.
It wasn't the first time Yuri kept information from Darkwick for his sake.
Unless maybe he was beginning to be too much to handle.
Time and again he showed weakness when he was supposed to be the sturdy pillar.
He lost his mind when he was supposed to be the voice of reason.
He broke down in front of Yuri more than once.
Jiro could feel that stinging sensation in his eyes once more.
He doesn't have the energy to fight it. Not that it matters.
The damage was already done.
From youth, Jiro has been told time and again that emotion was a weakness.
There was no reason to act so pathetic.
He could hear those scolding words now.
'There's no reason to cry, is there? No. There isn't.'
Yuri wasn't an emotionally stable man by any means.
Maybe having to look out for Jiro's emotional well-being, as well as physical, was becoming too much.
Maybe he needs a break from the burden that is Jiro Kirisaki.
Jiro tries to remind himself of the numerous times Yuri has assured him otherwise.
But maybe it's different now?
Distant footsteps remind him that he's not alone.
He should probably move on.
He pushes off of the railing and continues his walk to nowhere in particular.
But his thoughts still run rampant.
He's avoiding people for only one reason - the rumors.
No one would want to run into 'Frankenstein' in the middle of the night, would they?
It was a headache he didn't want to deal with.
He's immediately brought back to his ridiculous list of reasons for this strange series of events.
Maybe Yuri finally recognizes just how dangerous he really is.
He has been warned since the beginning, but he hasn't witnessed his patient attack another student.
Until recently.
Maybe he's beginning to see him for the monster he really is.
Jiro has no memory of the previous year, so those rumors could very well be true.
There's no respite for his weary mind, and it's beginning to reflect in his condition.
He sleeps longer, but still wakes up tired.
He's more forgetful than usual.
He's become more careless with his wounds and general care.
Yuri just increases the dose and hopes for the best, it seems.
But what if the way Yuri is acting isn't anything unusual at all?
Sheltered from the world as he was, Jiro lacks knowledge in social cues and behaviors.
Maybe this is how it's supposed to go? Get the physical stuff out of the way and carry on like it never happened?
He vaguely recalls hearing that was a thing people did.
As for everything Yuri said, well, he's quite the emotional person and quite prone to exaggeration.
Maybe it was all things said in-the-moment?
But to have everything stop so suddenly.
The affection just wasn't there anymore.
It seemed to Jiro that Yuri didn't really need him as much as he did before.
A voice of logic whispers 'the doctor is letting his patient rest,' but his mind refuses to listen.
He's left to take care of Yuri's duties outside of the lab after all.
Nothing makes sense anymore and Jiro can't stand it.
Jiro carries on just as he did every other night so far.
This back-and-forth carries on in his mind as his feet carry him around campus until they can no longer.
From there, he'll retire to his dorm and sleep the rest of the night.
The morning will come, but his hope for a 'return to normalcy' continues to fade with each passing day.
Perhaps he should just follow his captain's lead and forget all about it.
It wasn't like he was getting anywhere wasting time with speculation.
He'll just carry on as normal and let that dream go. He'll just have to endure until the last ember finally fades - if it ever does.