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Centuries on, and he is still powerless to delay the inevitable.
Yato-sama, may I speak with you for a moment?"
“Of course! What is it you need from me?”
He can’t help but curse his own luck sometimes. With the bad streak he had since he chose to try and strike out on his own all those years ago, one could almost mistake him to be a God of Misfortune rather than Calamity.
“I'm done.”
“Eh? What do you mean?”
“I'm sorry but…I can’t stay anymore! It was lovely being your Shinki but…”
“...do you want me to release you?”
“Yes please.”
“Okay then.”
“Thank you, Yato-sama.”
“I hereby release you…” He recites the incantation as he draws the name with his finger. It is swift and sure , yet if one were to look more closely, they would discover that this statement is not wholly true .
The false bravado shakes minutely, posture almost straight, a barely noticeable tremble and hesitation in each stroke he makes. As the task is nearing completion, an inaudible sigh leaves him as his soon to be former shinki fails to notice the reluctance in its master to let go.
The name is removed, leaving the skin pure once again. The shinki, now masterless, is free to roam in search for a new, worthier master. They bow towards him, one last sign of respect for their former master, before disappearing in a flash.
He is alone now. With no one to watch him, he crumples to the ground, a silent tear falling down his cheek. There is no point in begging them to stay. He has tried so many times before. They always leave, and no matter how much he wants, he cannot bear to chain them to him. And so he lets them go, even when it hurts his very soul. He stays in the ground, wordlessly walloping in his sorrows, like he has always done, for the last few centuries.
“Yato.”
A familiar voice calls out. He doesn't move. There is no need to do so. Not when he knows exactly who it is.
“Yato. Can you hear me?”
Hands sling over his shoulders, trapping him in her embrace. He sighs.
“What is it Hiiro?” A giggle escapes her lips as she leans closer.
“Father needs you.”
Of course he does. Each and every time. It seems like he always knows when it happens. He opens his eyes, and tilts his head to look towards her. She looks the same as always, forever smiling, forever youthful. She entangles a hand from her hold and extends it towards him.
“Let's go home.”
He hesitates. Going back means returning back to his old ways. Taking Father’s orders. Do you really want to go back to killing?
Does he have a choice though? He clearly cannot fend for himself like this. Gods without a shinki is a recipe for disaster, almost a blaring sign to others, and if that woman catches wind of this news… Is it not better to go back to Father for now, where he is guaranteed shelter and safety? Are you really going to fall for this again, when you already know what will happen when you accept this offer?
“Yato, are you coming?”
Hiiro has already unlatched herself from him and stands a few metres away, looking back at him with an expectant look. Her hand is outstretched in an inviting gesture, as if welcoming him back into the fold. Back into the trap that is their Father’s web.
And despite everything in him screaming to back out, he walks back into the web anyway.
~0o0~
He goes back with Hiiro to that house. To the place where the sun doesn't reach in the deepest corners of the world. To the place where he is free to be himself, to let himself be led around aimlessly, mind adrift walking a predetermined path. A lifeless doll under the command of his master, not too unlike a shinki ain’t it-
Father orders him to fulfill his duties. He follows them, Hiiro by his side. Each order is executed perfectly, as expected. Hiiro is always precise and sharp with her slices. He ignores the screams of pain from his victims.
He receives his payments and moves onto the next. No time is wasted on rest. Gods need little sleep, and there is much to do to cleanse this world, is what his Father used to say when he was younger.
It is laughably easy, the movements ingrained into this body. There is no need to think, no need to decide. He just does the job, and then leaves. Simple. No unnecessary interactions. He does not need to watch himself, whether in speech or body language. He does not need to worry about offending others, causing them to turn tail and curse his name whenever they think he is not looking. He is very aware of what others think, but just pretends to not notice. Nobody likes Calamity Gods. It’s just a fact he accepted a long time ago.
Father guides him. Father keeps him safe from others. Father loves him, loves him enough to wish him into existence. Father would never leave him. Father would never betray him. You know that is not true .
As an unknown amount of time passes, Yato sees it. Yet again, Father has been proven right. He is truly not meant to be anything but a harbinger of calamity. It is the truth and he is foolish to believe otherwise. It is silly of him to keep up the fantasy that he can escape his calling as the God of Calamity. It is in his nature to kill, not create. He is not capable of benevolent offerings, only merciful killings. His presence brings fear and screams, not joy and laughter.
He is Yato Yaboku, God of Calamity. This is the real him. It is the only version of him that can exist. It is not! You don’t seriously believe it do you? Get out now!
He should have never ventured out of this safe haven. He should stay here. With Father and Hiiro. Where he is loved and wanted. He should stay here.
He should leave, before he gets trapped here again.
He should leave, before he gets more blood on his hands.
He should…
He stays.