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As Rey was escorted out of the castle, accompanied by grim-looking soldiers, it was as if she was walking through a deep fog, heavy and suffocating. The faces of the spectators were blurry, the sounds of the crowd muffled. She was almost convinced that the world was holding its breath. In truth, she was the only one holding her breath on the way to the wooden platform, on the way to her death.
Most of the people down there pitied her, but not all of them.
She wanted to be brave, not giving the spectators that the king had appointed to watch her execution the satisfaction of seeing her break. She tried with all her might, but it was a difficult task, and she only half succeeded by distancing herself from the harsh reality. A cold gust chilled her skin, unusually bare as her hair was piled under a linen bonnet and no shawl covered her shoulders. It made it hard to stay far away, to stay in her own mind instead of acknowledging the last moments of her life.
One of her former ladies, Rose, rushed forward, tears glistening on her lashes. She handed her a small leather pouch filled with silver coins, as it was customary to pay her executioner for a quick and painless death. The king had made himself look generous by calling for an exceptionally gifted man to deliver the fatal blow. How kind of him. Rey's lips almost twisted into a sarcastic smile. The 'Sword of Calais’, they called him.
Out of the corner of her eye, she could already see him kneeling, waiting for her gift. He was enormous, and Rey couldn't help but think that this way he would get a good look and subsequently probably a good hit at her neck as soon as they switched roles. As soon as he would rise and she would kneel for the very last time.
It was only when she reached out to him that he raised his face and their eyes met.
The shock that ripped through her body almost made her drop the pouch.
His eyes were wide, too.
Honey-colored, just as she remembered them.
He stared back at her, his lips parted, the same disbelief that she felt written all over his features.
Rey choked back a sob.
Let the onlookers believe she was mourning her life's end. Was this another sadistic act of the king, to end her life at the hands of this man? Or was it just a twisted coincidence?
At least now she could believe that the swordsman would show her mercy and spare her as much pain as possible.
And even though many years had passed, the way he looked at her, his face ashen and his hands trembling, she knew he must have recognized her as well. Oh, how she longed to tell him how she had missed him, how her world had shattered when he had been sent away. How the future she had dreamed of had withered and crumbled after that day, until nothing was left but despair and quiet acceptance of the inevitable.
In the end leading to a marriage she hadn't wanted with a man she despised.
For as long as it suited him, before she had been discarded. Whether it was her husband's own idea, or the king's suggestion that he take another wife in order to bind the southern lands closer to the king's rule, she didn't know, nor did she care. Lord Palpatine certainly wouldn't have spoken up for her, that she was sure of. It was probably the only thing she was sure of in her husband, the only thing she really knew about him.
However, the man on the wooden stage next to her was someone she had known, once. At least the boy he had been, before he had turned into a man. Before he had turned into the 'Sword of Calais'.
He had to go under a different name now, because she was sure someone had told her the name of her executioner and it hadn't been Benoît de La Naberrie. Well, her name had been changed as well, not that she had any say in it.
The crowd around them grew restless; what should have been a quick exchange of the executioner’s fee was taking far too long. Soon the soldiers would demand action, seeing that the one with the blindfold had already climbed onto the platform.
"Forgive me."
His voice was as shaky as his hands, and Rey pressed her lips together, unable to respond properly. Instead, she nodded her forgiveness, smiling through the tears streaming down her cheeks.
Still, he remained on his knees.
Rey cleared her throat, unsure if she should kneel down as well. When she finally gathered her skirts and did so, she heard him whisper a soft "don't ".
So soft no one had heard it, so gentle she half believed she had dreamed it, just as she had dreamed of him so many nights.
The waiting soldier was already at her side, wrapping the blindfold around her head, and the last thing she saw were Ben's pleading eyes.
Rey clasped her hands and intertwined her own fingers, pretending they were his.
A murmur went through the crowd and Rey held her back ramrod straight. To give him a good aim.
To keep herself from collapsing.
What should you focus on in the last moments of your life? It was like a battle against her own racing heart, against a voice in her head screaming for her to run. Rey tried to conjure up good memories, happy memories, memories filled with laughter and maybe something close to love. Memories of a tall, gentle squire who had smiled at her after she had sneaked into the castle's kitchen garden in search of strawberries.
It was surprising how long she had to wrestle her thoughts away from the present. Maybe time stood still.
"What is your trouble, Lord Ren?"
She heard him panting and realized that he still had to be on his knees beside her. Confused, she turned her head toward him.
"I need... I need a minute. Some... I have a strange case of fatigue, some tremors. I..."
He coughed and the murmuring grew louder.
Another minute went by, and Rey shifted on her knees. Was he trying to distract her? She had heard that some executioners did that.
"Go ahead. What are you waiting for?"
"I... we have to postpone."
"What? If you can't do it, give me your sword."
"No!" His voice was louder now, sharper, coming from above her.
"The king has requested my service and I will not disappoint him by giving this task to an untrained soldier. Postpone the execution."
"This is outrageous!"
"The king has asked for me specifically, and I will carry it out as I see fit. A few days won't change a thing."
"When the King hears of this..."
"Then there will be no more Lady Palpatine. Do you think the king cares about the unsightly details? The result is all that matters."
"You seem to be quite stable now."
She didn't hear another word from Ben, but she was startled to feel a hand on her cheek and just knew it was his. Bigger, now that he wasn't the gangly boy anymore. The soft leather of his glove brushed against her temple, and of course there was no way for her to know for sure who was removing the blindfold, yet she knew it all the same. Maybe it was the gentleness of his touch. Maybe because of the familiar, comforting tingle that ran up her spine.
The world reappeared before her eyes, somehow richer in color than minutes before, and there he was, studying her closely. His face was unreadable, but he offered her his hand to help her to her feet, and Rey gladly took it, her knees wobbling now of all times. Now that her imminent death had been postponed for another day.
She let herself be pulled up, steadied herself on his other arm and looked into his eyes once more. Just this one precious moment, for she was sure that no one would grant them another the next time.
"Thank you, my Lord."
Rey gave him the faintest of smiles and stepped back. Rose was already rushing to her side, taking her arm and ushering her away.
"Hurry, my lady. I don't want the king's soldier to change his mind. He is of an evil soul, you mustn’t let him come near you."
Rose continued murmuring under her breath, but Rey could no longer listen. She glanced back, pretending to look at the crowd, at the place where she had knelt to await her end. In truth, she sought his eyes and they were already on her, troubled and sad.
He might not be able to spare her, but he had given her one more day, and the knowledge that he still cared. It was more than she could have hoped for.
⚔️⚔️⚔️
"Let me in."
Ben's voice boomed through Rey's barred door, assumingly addressing the soldiers that had been stationed in front of the room to keep her in and everyone else out.
Of course, her lady was allowed to come in, keep her company, bring her food, and help her dress and bathe. No one could have claimed that the king or her husband were being cruel or trying to humiliate her. They were simply punishing her for adultery, and that her husband could take another wife as a byproduct was nice, albeit completely unrelated. Or so they said.
As if Rey would willingly lay with a man, but of course no one questioned the verdict. After all, Rey was young and beautiful and her husband was definitely not. It was easy enough to believe for those who wanted to.
Yesterday had been hard to bear, the welter of her emotions had threatened to overwhelm her, shaking her mind and body after she had been taken back to her room.
She had had to wait for Ben to regain his composure, to call for the execution to continue. The fact that he was now standing at her door made her heart race with joy and stumble with fear at the same time.
Rey had put down her needlework with trembling hands and listened to the commotion outside, while Rose had left her place next to her and now stood at the door with furrowed brows.
"No one is to enter, except for her ladies. That includes French dastards."
Rose raised her eyebrows and gave Rey a look, clearly a bit alarmed by the soldier's choice of words.
"What are you afraid of? That I will kill her?"
"Who knows, maybe you can't handle an audience?"
"This is ridiculous, let me in. I need to ask her forgiveness, and I would rather do it in private."
"Why, you cream-faced loon, would you even do that?"
"It's what we do in France, it's not up for discussion."
Rey pressed a handkerchief to her lips. So he wasn't there to collect her, but to exchange some last words. Joy blossomed within her. There was more murmuring before the door rattled open.
"But only you!"
"Do not let your countenance betray you, my assistant may return to the yard."
Rey got up as Ben walked in, and for the first time in fifteen years they were in the same room, more or less alone, except for a very angry Rose, who looked like she was five seconds away from stabbing Ben with her sewing needle.
He was in front of Rey in three big steps, scanning her face frantically.
"Rey! How are you feeling? Are you all right? Or... no, forgive me, that was a foolish question."
Rey's lips wobbled and she cursed her fragile nerves. Normally, she wasn't so easily rattled, but her whole life hadn't been normal for the last few months.
"I was thunderstruck when I realized who you were. Oh Rey, what has happened to you?"
He was so close, his hands clenched in fists and hovering oddly at his sides, his head bowed low to read her eyes like he always had done. Rose appeared in the periphery of her vision, irritation and confusion on her face, bouncing restlessly on the balls of her feet as if about to leap at Rey's executioner. Which she probably was planning to do right now. She cleared her throat more than once, but Rey no longer had enough sense to keep poor Rose apprised.
And since sanity was only a desirable trait for the living, she reached out to him again, lightly touching his cheek. Rey had no more time, so why should she keep wearing a mask.
"Marriage happened. A cruel husband happened. But it seems I'm not the only one who wasn't dealt a happy hand, Sword of Calais ."
At that, Ben closed his eyes.
"No. I did what I had to do. Just like you."
Rey ignored the steady stream of harrumphs from Rose, and caressed Ben's cheek, smiling at the small sigh the gesture elicited.
"I wish we could have met again under different circumstances. I forgive you, Ben. I trust you will make it quick."
Ben's eyes snapped open.
"I can't kill you, Rey. I won't hurt you, ever."
"Then we are doomed. Don't do this, Ben. You must obey."
"I have obeyed all my life, and what have I gained? Do you remember what you asked of me, behind that lilac bush?"
Rey blushed and looked away, decidedly NOT in Rose's direction.
"I was a silly girl then, barely eight years of age."
"And I was a lad of fifteen. I promised to marry you someday, and it seems that fate has given me a second chance to keep my vow."
Rey wasn't sure what to make of his words. Had he lost his mind?
"Rey!" Rose forced herself between them, giving Ben a hard shove to make room for her. He looked down at the tiny woman in confusion, as if he was just realizing that she had been in the room all along.
"Rey, my lady, what is going on? This is the French swordsman! And you!"
She had turned in a flash and now jabbed her forefinger into Ben's chest, making him flinch and take a step back.
"Don't you dare play with her, she's been through enough these last few days. Don't you think for a second that you can come in here and have a good time before you... before you..."
Rose's voice broke and she just stood there with her shoulders slumped. The fight had left her and Rey realized how much her lady, her best friend, was struggling as well.
"Rose, it's okay." Rey stroked her arm in a helpless attempt to calm her.
"This is Ben, my Ben. Benoît de La Naberrie, my childhood friend."
"Rey, I hate to correct you, and I don't blame you for losing your mind, but this is Kylo Ren."
"Not to me, Rose."
Ben was looking at her, a faint smile grazing his lips. "Get ready. We must leave any minute now."
"Great, I think he went around the bend. Am I the only sane person now?" Rose threw up her hands with a huff.
"What are you talking about, Ben? I can't leave, not with my head attached to my neck. And besides, I have nowhere to go."
"Trust me. I have called in a few favors. More to my father than to myself, to be honest, but they agreed anyway. There will be a diversion, and when that happens, we must slip out."
"What diversion?"
"Don't worry, just a team of oxen with a burning carriage chased into the castle, some people stirring things up. Nothing too bad."
"This... this is a terrible plan!"
He just gave half a grin and shrugged. "Well, I reckon we might need some luck on our side as well. But I'm willing to risk it. This sort of thing has worked for other men, so why not for us?"
"But Rose..."
At that moment they heard yelling and banging, the bell calling soldiers to their posts, feet stomping down the corridor and voices shouting orders.
"Now. They'll realize it's a ruse in no time."
The door swung open and Rey almost screamed as another man, unknown to her, took half a step inside. The last rays of sunlight from a window behind him illuminated his red hair as if it was on fire. Contrary to this illusion, Rey realized a blink later, the smoke outside was very real.
"Hurry, we must leave through the lion's gate. The stable near the tower is aflame."
He tossed a brown cape to Ben, who immediately wrapped it around Rey.
"I can't leave Rose. She's my lady, they will question her - no, they will blame her ."
The other man came near and looked Rose up and down, calculating something, while Rose stared back at him with a face that was more murderous than sullen.
"Alright, she comes with me."
"By god's ingrown nails, I won't "
" Armitage …" Ben sighed and pulled the hood over Rey's head.
"Wrench, listen - those soldiers outside, they won't hesitate to lob off your head when they find out that Lady Palpatine is missing. So either you come willingly, or I'm tossing you over my shoulder and making you."
"I dare you!"
The two stood almost nose-to-nose - or more precisely, Rose's nose to Armitage's chest, her teeth flashing as if she were about to bite his throat or, alternatively, his pecs. Rey really wasn't convinced of Ben's plan, but she certainly didn't have a better one, nor did they have the time for petty squabbles.
"Rose, please. I can't leave you here."
Rose sighed and closed her eyes.
"I just don't trust them, but I suppose it's better than staying. Fine, hotspur . Lead the way."
Armitage rolled his eyes and muttered something that sounded a lot like "savage little malkin" before ushering them out of the room. They sidestepped past a soldier on the ground, and Rey didn't dare look closely enough to see if he was still alive. Ben, however, did look down.
"Temporarily indisposed?"
"Permanently. He wouldn't leave his post."
"Ah, what a fool."
Ben and his friend threw the man inside and barred the door before they all made their way out of the building.
There was a great commotion in the yard, with servants, maids, carpenters, and stable boys alike running to join the line of people that passed buckets between the moat and the blaze.
Farmers were rushing in through the open gate to help their families and the four of them had to shoulder their way through the narrow passage. Another twenty yards away was a man waiting with two horses, and he quickly passed the reins of the steeds to Ben and Armitage.
"Safe journeys and give my greetings to Han. Tell him it's getting much too dull here without his visits."
Ben grunted in lieu of an answer and lifted Rey into the saddle. Her heart pounded violently in her chest, the possibility of being caught still so very high.
Rose behind her yelped and Rey confirmed with a look that she had been thrown up and in the saddle as well.
"You big ginger oaf!"
"You miniscule, frothy-mouthed lass - it's a pleasure to give you a hand."
Ben hurled himself onto the horse behind Rey, and she instantly felt a little safer. They had a chance now, however small it might be.
"Thank you, Rolando. I know you're doing this for him and not for me. I'm grateful for your support."
"No need to thank me. Just make sure you get home. Charles is half a day ahead and will secure you a passage to the port of Alderaan."
He smacked theirhorse on the back and they set off in a fast gallop, leaving Rey clutching the saddle with one hand and Ben's arm, slung across her stomach, with the other.
Only when the horses were dripping with sweat, miles from her former prison, did they slow their pace, choosing smaller routes through woods and along fields rather than bigger roads.
Ben and her rode ahead, with Armitage and Rose a little behind. Even so, Rey could hear Rose admonishing Ben's friend for something and him chuckling in return. The longer they rode, the more sure Rey became that her maid wouldn't kill Armitage. Probably. With some luck.
"Ben?"
"Yes, dearest?"
"I have no place to go, they will come and look for me. My husband isn't going to let me live, or he won't be able to wed the next unfortunate soul. You can't be seen with me. Drop me off at a nunnery, maybe no one will recognize me beneath a veil."
Ben tightened his arm around her and didn't answer right away. The horse trotted past freshly plowed fields and the tomtits chirped animatedly. The air was filled with sound and the first shoots of green promised a year of growth and new beginnings. So contrary to what Rey feared life had had in store for her.
"Is that what you want? To live in a nunnery?"
"I don't really have any other options."
"Yes, you do. They won't be looking for you in another country, not for Lady de La Naberrie. As of today, there will be no more Kylo Ren or Lady Palpatine, if you'll only agree. Maybe my parents will forgive me, maybe not. But still we can live there, across the sea in Alderaan. All these years I thought I wouldn’t never be free of my master's clutches. Now I see all I had to do was take a chance, and you are worth every risk.”
Rey's heart pounded again, but this time not with fear. She turned her head as best she could, looking over her shoulder and up at the man who had refused to kill her, but had saved her instead. He was already looking down at her, pensive and tense. Longing.
"You want me as your wife? Even though I'm already married?"
"You are not, if your husband is asinine and cruel enough to cast you out. Was your word given freely when you wed him?"
"It was not."
"Then you are not married."
"I'm not untouched."
Rey couldn't bear to look into his eyes any longer and turned away again, staring straight ahead. She needn't be ashamed of what she was confessing, yet she was. What would she have given four years ago for her husband to have been Ben? Her generous Ben, a dear memory from her childhood days. Seemingly still generous now that he had offered to wed her. But he couldn't have thought it all through properly, with the fast pace he had to spin this plan. He couldn't really want her, tainted as she was.
"Have you been touched with love?"
Rey uttered a mirthless sound.
He pulled her back, even closer into him till she felt every inch of her back plastered to his chest and his cheek pressed to her temple.
"Then you've never been touched as a wife. I don't care, Rey. If you want me, I'm yours. I'm not untouched either. Tainted in body and in mind. You know what I have done. If you take me, I vow to be a good husband and a good man."
Rey's eyes were burning, the emotions spilling over in a shaky sob and she craned her neck and kissed him on the cheek.
"Yes?"
"Yes."
"Hold tight, my love. Let's go fast, I can't wait to bring you home to Alderaan."
And Rey pressed her own hand over Ben's, intertwining their fingers and giggling with joy as their steed took off at an exhilarating sprint, toward their future.