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Things couldn’t have been reduced to this. Ciel thought she had more time–if only she had more time.
She was informed she would be in an arranged marriage.
Now she had to choose between her lover and her duty, a decision that had been eating away at her every second sweet words and secrets were whispered against her ear. Lips trailing down her bare collarbone, touching her as if worshipping every inch of her; sweet lies and truths blurring together, all too good to be true and driving Ciel mad. The gods had cursed her with longing for something impossible, something she cannot help but chase and desire so deeply.
“Ditch that stupid ball and come with me, Ciel,” Vanica held her hand out on the moonlit balcony, one foot settled on the railing, minutes before the annual ball would begin. When Vanica said to meet on the balcony, this request was not one Ciel was expecting.
“I can’t. My parents would be furious with me.” Ciel stood there, already dressed and cheeks powdered with a pale pink. Her fingers toyed with the frilled sleeves of her dress.
“Your parents, or me, who makes you happier in a second than they’ve ever made you?” Vanica’s smile faltered, her expression somewhere close to sincere yet not quite there. There was a long pause before she added,
“Ciel, I love you.” Vanica had said breathily. Boldly. Had it been an act, Ciel didn't care either way.
Ciel was stunned at the time. A worker of the castle who serves no other purpose besides serving the royal family, in love with the princess? Vanica must have been crazy–well, for fuck’s sake, Ciel knows that, but Vanica had crossed a line.
Vanica had destroyed Ciel’s world, for better or for worse she has yet to determine, and then built it anew with her entire world being Vanica. Betraying her duty for a brief moment of joy and then leaving Ciel filled with thoughts of their next meeting, then repeating the cycle over and over until Ciel felt so used yet so loved.
And now Ciel cannot deny that she is madly in love with Vanica Zogratis, like a moth to a flame.
“Vani…” Ciel’s voice was shaking.
“My moon,” Vanica had stepped down from the railing, her boots clanking against the hard tile, each step echoing into the dark starlit sky until she finally met Ciel’s lips. She hadn’t waited for “I love you” to be repeated back to her, greedily taking what she wanted. Vanica knew Ciel wanted this. The princess is so easily satisfied. She was easily kept on a leash, with the benefits of puppeting her actions made clear by Vanica’s brothers.
Vanica believed as much as she believed that blood was red that Ciel was just as insane as her. Ciel had a desire to rebel against her family’s wishes for her personal gain–she grew bored easily and admired how beautiful crimson was when it spilled from someone’s neck. She was powerful; she could easily manipulate someone into doing her bidding. Not just because she was the princess. And despite their similarities, Ciel still believes she is bound to her duty, even though she and Vanica belong together. Ciel understood her like nobody else.
And Vanica was simply taking what was rightfully hers.
Vanica’s lips were chapped and Ciel’s lips were a glittery shade of pink, one of Vanica’s hands on the princess’ waist and the other clasped on the nape of her neck. The touch was intoxicating to Ciel.
She would have worn a different lipstick if she’d known Vanica would kiss her that night, and that memory weighs heavy in her judgment between her duty and staying with her lover. She knew she would have to be queen–but the thought of not choosing who rules with her? It was just another stupid thing that ensured her parents have control over every single little aspect of her life. She hated the way they slither their way into all the crevices of what Ciel thought she had the ability to change. She wanted what she was deprived of–love. Vanica was her love, and Ciel would be taking as much love as Vanica was willing to offer. And Vanica gave her everything.
And love was all that she really needed, in the end.
Ciel came to Vanica the same night that she was informed of her arranged marriage. She came to her on the same balcony beneath the twilight, her dress stained with blood this time. She had killed a guard; she watched the blood drip from his throat in struggling breaths before stepping over the body to reach her love on the balcony. She couldn’t risk her parents being informed, so she had to do what needed to be done. No matter. It was one amongst hundreds of guards.
“Ciel, what did you want to tell me?” Vanica smiled as she saw blood buried under Ciel’s fingernails.
“I’m having an arranged marriage.” Ciel diverted her eyes, the words tasting acrid on her tongue.”What should I do, Vani?”
Her voice was breaking.
“I can’t betray my parents. There’s no telling what they’ll do to me. But I also can’t betray you. I can’t stand to lose you.” A tear broke loose and flowed freely down Ciel’s cheek.
“Ciel,” Vanica began. “What would they do to you that you couldn’t protect yourself from? You killed that guard without using your grimoire.”
“But what would they do to you if they found out we were seeing each other?” Ciel wiped her face, blood smearing on her cheek, mixing with tears to appear as a bright blush. Just like the other night on the balcony.
“I can protect myself just fine. You know that.” Vanica’s smile grew. “Two of the most powerful mages in all of the Spade Kingdom against the weak little King and Queen who rely on emotional manipulation to control their daughter? We have nothing to fear.” Vanica crossed the balcony in two strides, just short of her boots touching Ciel’s dress.
She brushed a strand of hair behind Ciel’s ear, leaning in with her breath warm. “We can always get rid of them. We alone could rule over this nation.”
The thought of ruling a kingdom with Vanica was almost a daydream; no restrictions, no sneaking out to catch one simple, fleeting moment with a love she shouldn’t have had in the first place, and the future was finally in her grasp rather than worrying about if Vanica would be dead the next day.
Ciel shuddered.
Vanica’s hands moved to her lover’s waist, bound by a bloodied corset and swept her lips into a sweet, languid kiss.
Suddenly, Ciel didn’t care what her parents thought.