Chapter Text
People didn’t like him. Or maybe he just didn’t like people. Or maybe he didn’t like people because they didn’t like him. Regardless of what it was, it was obvious that out of the six, Ichimatsu would be the least likely to get married, hold down a job, and have any other social life. It was like the world had decided he was going to be a NEET forever and gave him the personality to keep him there: crippling social anxiety that made him hyperconscious of every little social interaction he may encounter and borderline personality disorder which did the same but made everything ten times worse. As opposed to just being nervous about talking to people, he was nervous and scared that they would hate him because he sucked at interactions or worse, that he’d become attach if they did put up with him and then they’d leave him.
He had no way of winning.
But time didn’t stop just because he’d never be able to make it into the real world, and the sextuplets became older. Once they were just a few years shy of their 30s, it was time to finally get their shit together. Even if it was terrifying.
At least Osomatsu was almost charming, he had a likeable personality when he wasn’t being too outright or blunt or a complete pervert. He would have no problem getting a girlfriend if he knew how to censor himself. Karamatsu was a piece of work, but he put himself out there. He was painful and annoying, but he could use it to his benefit until he wore some poor employer down enough till they hired him. Choromatsu was at the very least professional and could definitely hold down any cushy office job if his siblings stopped enabling him to stay a NEET. Jyushimatsu may be the one to struggle (besides Ichimatsu), but at the very least he had Homura, who was an immensely supportive girlfriend. And hey, he was the first to even talk girl besides Totoko. Totty would definitely have no problem on their own. Without their bad influence of their brothers, they could get a job at any place of their liking, find a rich spouse and not have to worry for the rest of their life. That’s what they said and everyone knew that they probably could.
Ichimatsu felt that he had none of the redeemable qualities the rest of his siblings did. Nothing to give him any sliver of hope that he’d be okay. But he figured he had to try.
Almost every interview he had (which weren’t very many) ended with the interviewer looking uncomfortable, scared, and pretty much telling Ichimatsu he had no chance. His resolve was dwindling.
It was starting to become late on a Friday night and after a day of disappointments, all he could do was sit on a bench in the middle of empty park and pull his knees to his chest. He dreaded going home, already hearing Choromatsu annoyingly ask how his interviews went and Karamatsu trying to restore any hope that Ichimatsu had with cheesy lines. It was painful to know that he was the least capable, the least likely to succeed. It was cruel to be the biggest failure among a family with five others.
It’s not even worth trying anymore.
“Hey, are you okay there?” an unfamiliar voice interrupted his thought and he looked up to an almost familiar young woman with short light brown hair and bangs that framed her face nicely.
Ichimatsu froze.
“Don’t we know you actually? I’m pretty sure we’ve met before.” The man behind her spoke up, Ichimatsu not noticing until then. He was tall with brown, stylish hair and glasses.
Oh god.
Ichimatsu actually did remember them, from Christmas a few years back when he and his siblings were still proudly mooching off their parents and Ichimatsu had no clue how fucked up he really was. He had approached them, like a complete idiot, late at night in a ridiculous black Santa outfit, and tried to hold a conversation. The entire time Ichimatsu’s heart pounded with anxiety, knowing he was repeating himself too loudly and quickly when they didn’t answer his questions the second he asked them. And to top it off, he like, spontaneousl combusted and they ran away in fear which was definitely the proper reaction.
How the hell did he end up meeting these two again?
“Yeah! I remember! He was that weirdo that we met around Christmas when we first started dating!” The girl suddenly exclaimed, turning to her boyfriend.
Ichimatsu heart dropped into his stomach at the word “weirdo.”
“Oh, shit, you’re right,” the man mused.
They’re just ignoring you now, having their own little conversation.
Ichimatsu shifted so he could get up to leave.
Suddenly the girl turned to look right back at Ichimatsu. “You looked a little bummed so I wanted to see if you were okay, and luck has it that we’ve met before!” The girl giggled. “The world’s pretty small, huh?”
Oh god she expects you to answer.
“Yeah I guess.” He forced the words. Every moment made Ichimatsu more and more uncomfortable, desperate for an escape from the conversation but the girl had managed to pull him back into it.
Suddenly the two were sitting next to him, smiles that definitely weren’t meant Ichimatsu.
No one smiles at you like that.
No one smiles at garbage like that.
“We didn’t have a proper introduction that night, I mean you were being pretty weird…”
Ouch.
“But that night kind of stayed with us for a while, it definitely helped us bond a little over a shared, extremely odd, experience. I still don’t understand how you managed to burst into actual flames.”
“It’s a talent,” Ichimatsu said dryly.
Both of them found it hilarious, laughs that only happy people had surrounding Ichimatsu.
They’re laughing at you.
God did he want to run.
“Wait! Didn’t we actually meet twice? You almost passed out in the middle of the street!” The girl exclaimed, looking concerned even though the incident occurred years before. It was like she expected Ichimatsu to pass out then and there. “Are you okay? You’re not still living off the street right?”
“No, I moved back in with my family.”
You should’ve have said that.
Now they’ll know you’re a worthless NEET.
Instead, she let out a sigh of relief. “Oh that’s good.”
“Anyways, my name is Yoji,” the guy beamed and it made Ichimatsu feel sickly jealous over how confident he was. He wasn’t evenly painfully confident like Karamatsu, he was genuinely confident and sure of himself. It was charming.
“And I’m Momoko,” the girl followed, with a small smile, equally confident, but with added cuteness and made Ichimatsu even sicker.
They expect you to answer.
Why are they even talking to you?
“Ichimatsu.”
His name felt heavy, dead, like it belonged to someone as worthless as he was.
“Well Ichimatsu, we were on our way to grab a bite to eat, do you want to join us?” The man, Yoji, was the one to offer and the girl, Momoko, actually didn’t looked bothered at the idea.
What the fuck.
“S-Sure.” As pathetic as it came out, something managed to give him the courage to accept the invitation.
They were nice. They were nice, and attractive, and actually talked to him, allowing him time to come up with the words without rushing him or making him feel pressured. They were patient and didn’t patronize him for not making eye contact.
They were just pretending to be nice.
They were nice and didn’t use their past meetings to judge him and apologized for calling him a weirdo.
They definitely remembered what a freak you were.
Those apologies were empty.
They were nice and paid for his meal and asked his house number, suggesting that they should all hang out again.
They’re not actually going to call you.
They were nice and said his name without any disappointment in their voice.
They won’t stick around.
Despite his ugly thoughts, he couldn’t help but feel so so happy.
Ichimatsu was fixated on the house phone for days. Any time it rang, he’d answer it, afraid any of his siblings would get to it first. Luckily, when Yoji called a few days later, Ichimatsu did get to the phone first, causing his siblings to whisper about why he was so jumpy.
Even with the whispers behind him making him more nervous, Ichimatsu quickly agreed when Yoji asked if he wanted join them for lunch. He almost blanked out when Yoji told him when and where to meet up.
He had to ask Jyushimatsu to loan him cash, and his younger brother gave it to him but not without trying to figure out why.
“Why do you need extra money this month?” Jyushimatsu curiously asked.
“I’m planning to go out… some friends…”
Be careful using that word.
“Some people I know… asked me to lunch and...”
“Ehhh? Ichimatsu nii-san you have friends?”
“They’re not friends! Just some stupidly friendly people I bumped into!”
If only Ichimatsu could lie to his favorite brother.
“Well, that’s great nii-san!” Jyushimatsu buzzed excitedly.
“Yeah, I guess… Just don’t tell the others or I’ll kill you.”
Momoko was an aspiring novelist who was trying to finish her young adult fiction novel and eventually get published. She got overly excited when asked about her characters, having to be stopped when she started to go on a tangent about the protagonist of her story. The way she radiated happiness could almost rub off on Ichimatsu.
Yoji worked with computers and had a steady job at a tech repair shop. He admitted that his job was not the best, but that it paid well and gave him enough money to indulge in his hobbies. He had a lot of different types of gaming systems and talked about creating his own game one day, even if it was just an underground indie game with a small fanbase.
They shared a small two bed room apartment, with a roommate who was a total nightmare, so they were thinking of kicking him out. They also had a pet cat that they rescued and named Yuki because she was pure white. When they mentioned her, it apparently made Ichimatsu’s face light up and they offered to let Ichimatsu come over and meet her.
It soon became a weekly routine for one of them to call Ichimatsu up and ask if he was free, inviting him to a bunch of places Ichimatsu had never been to because all his siblings did was drink and play pachinko. It was almost overwhelming, but he managed to be somewhat comfortable as long as Momoko and Yoji were there.
It was obvious that he was acting different, and while he still felt nervous in general and still had bouts where he was convinced that there was no one in the world that would care if he didn’t exist, he did feel overwhelmingly okay. Even his siblings took notice.
“Ichimatsu nii-san, why are you so happy all of a sudden?” Totty asked one day while they were all lounging around lazily in the living room.
“Yeah, Totty’s right, you’ve been in a weirdly good mood for the past month,” Osomatsu added.
“You’ve only threatened to kill me three times this month” Karamatsu mentioned.
Ichimatsu pretended to not hear them.
“It’s because Ichimatsu nii-san has new friends! That’s why he’s always waiting to answer the phone!”
Goddammit Jyushimatsu.
“Whaaaaaaaaat? Really Ichimatsu?” Osomatsu’s voice was filled with disbelief. “There are people that will tolerate your evil aura?”
Totty looked like someone told a hilarious joke and almost couldn’t contain the laughter.
“So is that who you’ve been hanging out with? I thought it was weird that you were leaving the house so much. I thought maybe you started selling drugs,” Choromatsu commented.
“You’re not serious are you? Who the hell did you meet? Are they weird loners like you? You know it’s not considered being a loner if you all hang out together,” Totty finally laughed.
“They’re… this weird couple I met a few years back. They saw me again while I was wallowing in my own pity and decided to ask me to hang out. They haven’t stopped bothering me since.” Ichimatsu tried to play it off. They weren’t really bothering him. He actually looked forward to seeing them. It was weird, but he couldn’t help feeling at ease with them.
“Enjoy it now, it’s about time that they realize what a weirdo you are and stop calling.”
They didn’t drop Ichimatsu after a month. They didn’t drop him after two. They continued to spend even more time with him after three.
After four months, Ichimatsu finally had to know why the hell they were wasting their time with him.
“Don’t you guys ever go on like… one on one dates? Aren’t I just in the way?”
“You’re not in the way at all!” Momoko pouted. She almost convinced him.
“You’re pretty great, Ichimatsu.” Yoji made his name sound nice.
“But I’m just a garbage.”
Momoko’s pout turned into a scowl.
“That’s not true, we don’t think you’re garbage, Ichimatsu.” She made his name sound nice too.
“I just don’t understand. People don’t like me. I’m weird. I literally burst into flames when I get uncomfortable or jealous. How can you stand me?” Ichimatsu waited to regret the question.
They’re going to realize that they’ve been wasting their time.
This is their chance to abandon you.
The two looked at each other.
“Ichimatsu, do you want to date us?” Yoji suddenly said, looking directly at Ichimatsu.
“what.”
what.
“Do you want to date us? Like, both of us. At the same time?”
“At first, we just wanted to get to know you and become friends since we were so quick to judge you when we first met. But after getting to know you better, we both realized you’re a really wonderful person and well…” Momoko looked both nervous and happy.
Was she nervous to ask you out?
What the fuck.
This doesn’t happen to you.
They must be lying.
“We both like you. We like each other, obviously. Do you like us? You don’t have to date us if you don’t want to, Ichimatsu.” Every time either of them said his name made his heart beat a little harder, like it was going to burst out of his chest.
Do you even like men?
Ichimatsu thought he was going to puke.
“Give me a minute.”
He practically darted to the bathroom, anxiety filling him up and making him almost vomit into toilet. He didn’t actually puke, but the nauseous feeling stayed.
They’re fucking with you.
They want to laugh at you.
Ichimatsu would be a liar if he said he hadn’t thought about it. The more and more he spent time with them, the more he found himself becoming attached. They made him feel safe. Comfortable. Their friendship was different than those of his siblings, who were obligated to be friends with him by blood, but here were these two completely independent people who wanted to spend time with Ichimatsu. People who wanted to date him.
It has to be a joke.
He hoped it wasn’t.
But they were perfect and Ichimatsu wasn’t.
He forced himself to go back to their table, one off in the corner with almost no one else surrounding it because Momoko and Yoji had quickly learned that Ichimatsu hated being surrounded by too many people.
They both looked concerned, like they were afraid they fucked up. It was weird to see such an expression because Ichimatsu was always met with expressions of disgustie because he was the one to fuck up.
“Listen, Ichimatsu, we’re sorry, we didn’t mean to spring this on you so suddenly, you don’t—“
“Okay.”
“…What?”
“I said okay.”
“Okay?”
“Does that mean—?”
“Yes! I said okay, yes, I’ll date you, please don’t make me regret it!”
He really hoped he didn’t.
Dating one person sounded stressful and despite all of the siblings’ desperate attempts to get girlfriends, Ichimatsu was never particularly fond of the idea. It sounded… taxing. Annoying. Draining. Plus who’d want to date him anyways?
But he was dating two people. Two.
It was terrifying, the way he felt his face burn up and his heart pound when he thought about them.
But they made him feel safe, even when he felt like he was teetering the line between okay and a mental breakdown. They looked at him like they truly cared about him, with eyes he couldn’t always meet out of fear of falling too deep. They held his hand so tightly, as if they were reassuring him that they wouldn’t just leave him at any moment. And they smiled so brightly that he didn’t know how his heart could handle it.