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This was all going great so far. Asa had a plan, a goal, and a target. Now she just needed to convince him to play along. The school dance was in two weeks, which was not much time to woo a guy, but she’d seen classmates do it hours before with nothing but an ugly sign, so it couldn’t be that hard. It wasn’t like she was looking for an actual relationship here, she just needed a date to this event.
It had taken her a lot of thinking before she’d settled for Denji as her target, because he didn’t seem like the best option personality-wise and smelled a bit weird. Still, he wasn’t bothered by her murderous past like her other classmates and tended to be overly eager when it came to all things dating.
In theory, this should be easy. The reality was anything but.
She caught him after class, as he was trying to get to the cafeteria. With quick steps, she slipped past him and blocked his way through the hallway. He didn’t say anything at first, he just stared at her with that stupid look he always had. This was all going perfectly according to plan, but of course she had to fuck it up again.
“Do you need concealer?” she asked and let her eyes roam over him, examining her catch.
His face contorted into a confused grimace and he took a step back. “What is that supposed to be?”
“Are you stupid?” she asked. Even if someone didn’t wear make-up, concealer wasn’t that niche, was it? She didn’t wear it either, after all. “It’s for your eyebags. To cover them. They look bad.”
Denji’s mouth fell open. “Hey! What is that supposed to m-”
“Go on a date with me.”
He frowned and it made his face scrunch up. Maybe he did look a bit cute like that. Asa had made a good choice after all.
“Why are you asking that? You just said I was ugly. Are you crazy?” His voice got louder and more offended the more he talked.
It seemed she had made a mistake somehow. At least she must’ve insulted him with something. “I never said you were ugly.”
He made some kind of pained noise and waved his arms around. “You just said my eyebags are bad.”
“Yes, they’re huge. You should sleep more.”
He tried pressing past her, but she blocked his way again. “I’m not going on a date with you. Who even are you?”
“I’m Mitaka Asa. We’ve been going to the same school for a while. You should know me.”
Now he was the one scrutinising her. It was weird. Involuntarily, her arms moved in front of her body and she tilted her head down, protecting herself from his gaze.
“Mitaka? Oh, are you that girl who murdered the chicken?” So he did know that. This was bad. Very bad. None of this was going according to plan. She looked around, trying to figure out how to solve this situation. Even if she gave up and ran away, she would still need a date, and there were no better options.
She’d replayed that stupid chicken’s death about a million times in her head, trying to figure out where she went wrong or what she should’ve done to save its life, but it was pointless. Her classmates, if they hadn’t already hated her before, loathed her now. She was the weirdo, the outsider, maybe even the intruder. It felt like no matter what she tried to find friends or fit in, she got rejected.
Which was why this dance was so important. If she showed up with a date, she would appear normal and the others would see that there’s people who are around her voluntarily, therefore she couldn’t be that bad after all. It was the perfect plan to become normal. And now Denji had to fuck it up.
“How do you know about that?” she asked, maybe a little too harsh.
He made a weird face again. “It was sort of hard to overhear, everyone was talking about it. It’s not everyday that some girl murders a chicken.” There was a second of excruciating silence and he seemed to sense the shame that was crawling up Asa’s neck, because he quickly added, “I think it’s badass. Like a butcher, you know? A hot butcher.”
“Hot?!” she yelled, so high it was almost a squeak. Some other students started looking at them and she shooed him into the next best room, closing the door way too loudly for her liking.
Meanwhile, Denji had the biggest grin on his face. “Intense reaction for someone who just asked me out.”
He was pretending to be all cocky, but she knew he was just as awkward as she was, she had watched him for a few days after all. Also, his cheeks were practically glowing pink.
“I’m not asking you out!” she clarified, “I’m asking you to go on a date with me. I don’t want a boyfriend.”
In the way his shoulders sagged, Denji was obviously disappointed, but he tried hiding it with another confused grimace. “That doesn’t make sense.”
“Yes, it does! I need the date to figure out if you’re a good fit to accompany me to the school dance. Why would I want a boyfriend?” She shuddered just thinking about it. Some guys’ saliva all over her mouth and her body held between his sweaty arms. Ew. “That’s disgusting.”
“Love isn’t disgusting,” Denji said, offended. Then he hesitated. “Or are you a Lesbian?”
“What? No! I just don’t see what’s so great about having someone all over you.”
He made an exasperated noise. “You just have no idea! I’ll show you. We’re going on that date and I’m gonna show you so hard. Then you’ll see how great love is.”
Her aversion seemed to rile him up quite a bit, but at least she’d achieved her goal now. It’s not like this pervert could convince her of anything, let alone of being his girlfriend.
“Fine. We have a deal. This Friday, you’ll wait by the gate after school and we’ll go on a date.” Asa extended her hand and he shook it enthusiastically, grinning again.
“If I win, we can kiss, you know?”
Unfortunately, he was out of the door before she could slap him.
She had spent the rest of the week preparing the perfect date. Even if the circumstances changed, the goal was still to convince Denji to go to the dance with her, and to make that possible she needed to win him over.
Her lack of experience with these types of things wasn’t helpful. She had no idea what she was even supposed to do. What did people talk about on dates? Romance manga often featured aquariums, so that must be a popular topic, she figured.
On Friday after school, she waited in front of the gates, revising her prepared fun facts and phrases one last time. As she saw Denji approaching, she quickly put her practise sheet away in her pocket and opened her arms for a hug. But instead of falling into her arms, Denji just came to a halt in front of her and tilted his head. “What are you doing?”
She looked at her stance. Was this not the natural way to hug? Was she being weird? “I’m trying to hug you. That’s romantic, right?”
He blushed immediately, but started laughing anyway. “You’re weird,” he stated before locking her in a quick embrace. It lasted only a few seconds, but it was enough to make her heart beat faster. From fear and disgust, of course.
“So, what are we doing today?” They started walking to the bus stop and he occasionally kicked the gravel on the ground.
“We’re going to the aquarium.”
“Like in manga?” His mood seemed to lighten and she felt a bit of relief. Her plan was working, this was a date. She nodded and they talked about school a bit. Or rather, Denji talked about his test while she tried to take in as much information as possible. The bus ride wasn’t all that long, thankfully and she didn’t even use up half of her prepared filler phrases. After they bought their tickets and started touring the aquarium, the real fun began.
Asa had read dozens of marine life articles over the course of the week, going over every bit of material she could get her hands on. If this date was to be successful, she needed to entertain him after all.
“These are sea anemones,” she explained as they reached their fifth fish tank. “Sea anemones are relatives of the jellyfish.They have these tiny hairs[…]There are even sea anemones that have lived longer than[…]from predators and share their food scraps.”
“Hey, enough about sea anemones already,” Denji interrupted after not even half of her presentation. “I wanna go look at penguins.”
Typical. He’d been whining about penguins since they arrived, even though they're only supposed to reach those about four hours later. This is why she didn’t want a boyfriend. They were like oversized whiny toddlers.
“No,” she told him firmly. Somehow, he didn’t seem to remember the schedule at all. “We’re supposed to look at this for another ten minutes.”
His usually tired expression widened again, but this time not in delight. More like…shock? It had to be positive shock, right? Because he was surprised she had put so much effort into this just for him. That must be it.
“I told you, I came up with the perfect plan for an aquarium date. We aren’t deviating from the plan.”
“Okay,” he sighed and turned his face away from her. He must be flustered, she figured and continued her presentation. This was going well.
One hour later, they had reached the starfish two tanks over from the sea anemones. It was perfectly on schedule and Asa already felt more comfortable with this whole dating thing. She seemed to have figured it out.
“Starfish are echinoderms and relatives of the sea urchin[…]Their arms can regenerate, so I guess[…]you strip the skin to eat the insides, like with sea urchins.”
“Enough about starfish already. I wanna see penguins!”
His tone was even more determined this time. It confused her. The facts she had prepared were way more interesting than what the plaques in the aquarium had to offer. All things considered, he should be head over heels by now.
“No. We’re supposed to look at starfish for another thirty minutes.”
“Thirty minutes?!” he almost yelled, drawing attention to them. It didn’t sound like excitement or positive at all. Still, Asa tried to keep her composure and continue her starfish facts, but he interrupted again immediately. She shouldn’t feel as hurt by it as she did. This was just a stupid pervert who wanted to prove something to her. Nothing to worry about.
“Hey, can we ignore the plan for one second and look at the penguins?”
“Would you mind shutting up?” she snapped. The conflicting emotions were overwhelming her and she didn’t know what to feel. It had all been going so well, why did he have to ruin it?
“Well, I don’t want to listen to your boring facts any longer!”
This time, she was certain he didn’t mean it in a positive way. Against her will, her eyes began to sting and she felt tears forming. Before it could escalate and he noticed her crying, she stormed off.
Through the hallways and a door that led to an outside park with different koi fish, where she sat down on a bench, willing the tears away. Stupid, stupid boy. So many nights of work to make this perfect for him and he called her boring.
There was a knot in her chest she couldn’t seem to loosen, but she didn’t budge. There was no way she would cry over Denji of all people.
It didn’t even take two minutes for Denji to practically throw himself on the bench as well with all the grace of an elephant seal. His leg was shaking up and down for a good while before he said anything. Asa kept staring at the ground, scared to look at him.
“I shouldn’t have said that,” he began, clearing his throat. “I’m sorry. That was very stupid of me. It’s just so confusing because this is a date and you're acting like some science tour guide instead of having fun with me.”
He didn’t say she wasn’t boring. The knot in her chest tightened. “I was having fun.”
She could picture the grimace before she saw it. Denji was staring at her like she completely lost her mind. “Nerd,” he said and then lightly kicked his leg against hers. Among males, this must be a sign of affection.
“But I was actually looking forward to this, even if you’re really weird. And I wanted to see the penguins. They’re silly.”
Asa didn’t say anything. Maybe he had been looking forward to this, but clearly he didn’t enjoy it and she had completely failed to win him over. It was naive to think this could still lead to anything.
After their conversation came to a halt, she just stared down at her knees, not wanting to start another one. If Denji didn’t even like the ocean facts she had carefully prepared, what would he think of the stuff she said spontaneously?
There was no way she could impress him like this. It turned out she didn’t need to.
“So…do you wanna kiss?” Denji asked her out of the blue. She wanted to say no. Of course this was what he wanted. He’d been a weird pervert from the beginning, why would she have expected otherwise? Before she knew it, he’d probably ask to touch her chest or…worse.
The thought of kissing him was disgusting. She didn’t want his slimy lips or saliva on her. But for some reason, she turned around and looked at him. Blood was rushing to her head and she felt her cheeks starting to heat.
Maybe this would be good for research. She couldn’t just say she didn’t like something without trying first, could she? The chicken had turned out to be nice too. But she’d messed that up right after finding out. If she somehow failed at this date now, Denji wouldn’t go to the dance with her and this entire plan would’ve been for nothing.
The thought left a pit in her stomach. She wanted to go to the dance with Denji, if just to watch him make a fool of himself.
“I mean, kissing is part of a proper date, right?” she said, looking him directly in the eye. He didn’t look back, instead, he was staring at her lips.
“Yeah, I guess,” he said and leaned in. Panicking, she met him in the middle and bumped her nose directly into his.
“Ow,” he yelped, holding his face. “What the fuck?”
She rolled her eyes. “You must have not angled right.” Shame tried to crawl up her throat but she couldn’t be ashamed if she did nothing wrong. Denji was the one who’d leaned in all weird.
“No, I did it right! I’m a good kisser!” The way he said it didn’t sound very convincing, more childish in her opinion, but she didn’t make fun of him further.
She took a deep breath and then grabbed his head with both her hands, angling it slightly. He made a face. “Are you serious? You’re not actually positioning me right now, are you?”
“Shut up, I have to concentrate.” She tried leaning in again but he dodged, not very gracefully given his head was smushed between her hands.
“Is this your first kiss or what?”
Asa felt herself getting red in the face but she refused to let this stupid guy make her insecure.
Taking her non-reaction as confirmation, Denji went still and stared at her in disbelief, probably ready to say something, but she was quicker and kissed him again, a little gentler this time.
Their lips rested on top of each other, unmoving for a few seconds, before Denji put a hand on the back of her head and pressed into it. Not his first kiss apparently. She felt a weird sensation in her stomach, her whole body actually, almost like she lost control of her muscles.
You’re getting weak in the knees like a loser, a voice in the back of her head whispered. She ignored it.
This was unlike anything she could’ve imagined. Way less disgusting and not as much saliva as she thought. Apprehensively, she kissed back. That seemed to renew Denji’s enthusiasm and he pulled her into his lap. Her stomach turned, but in a good way somehow.
All these new feelings and sensations were overwhelming her a bit, but she didn’t care. It felt good, kissing Denji. They fell into a rhythm. Asa had no idea how long they had been sitting there on that park bench, making out in public like those kinds of couples she hated, but she understood them now. Kind of. It was amazing.
She broke the kiss to giggle when she imagined her classmates faces as she went to the dance with a boy. Their expressions were never as dramatic in real life as they were in her head, but she allowed herself this fantasy before going right back in to make out some more. She couldn’t believe that she ever thought she’d hate this. Right now, with her mind a little hazed, she thought she could kiss Denji forever.
To her disappointment, he stopped after maybe fifteen minutes. Staring her right in the eye with a determined look he said, “I still wanna look at the penguins.”
She wanted to interject but he immediately added, “You can tell me your penguin facts. I will try to pay attention. Then you can quiz me while we’re dancing together.”
She smiled. It felt horribly genuine. But maybe, boyfriends weren’t so bad after all. She could try out and see for herself.