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Jaehyun would say he isn’t someone who gets jealous easily. When he sees his group of friends hanging out with someone, he doesn’t mind. Or when he used to see his lover talking to someone else. As long as the other person doesn’t cross the line, he really didn’t care.
But he had to admit, whenever he saw Sungho laughing and talking to some dude he didn’t care to even remember or when a girl flirts with him so blatantly in their faces, he was seething with jealousy. The two of them have been attached to the hip ever since they met when they were six years old. Every friend they met and every moment in life, they went through it together.
Jaehyun was there when he watched Sungho confess to a girl for the first time in middle school. He was there when Sungho’s parents reprimanded them when they tried to sneak out of the house to buy late-night snacks. He was also there when he went through his first breakup in high school, and the same could be said for the latter.
Jaehyun knew his childhood friend like the back of his hand. He probably knew Sungho more than he knew himself, so when he began noticing an uncomfortable feeling seething through his bones, he couldn’t put a finger on it. He quietly ate his hamburger as he stared at a table not too far from where he was sitting.
Sungho was smiling brightly, laughing at a joke while slamming his hand against the table. Jaehyun liked seeing him laugh and he swore Sungho’s smile could light up any room but for some reason, he hated it right now. As he took another bite of his burger, he heard someone clearing his throat.
“What’s up with you?” a boy with bleached blond hair asked, leaning against his arm.
Jaehyun shot him a raised eyebrow before responding, “Nothing is wrong with me.”
The boy hummed, stretching his arms as he spoke back, “If you mean drilling holes over to Sungho flirting with someone is nothing then sure.”
Jaehyun scoffed and took another bite of his burger, “Very funny Leehan. I’m just worried that person is fooling around with our Sungho.”
Leehan shot him a carefree smile and nodded, taking one piece of fry, munching on it slowly. Jaehyun brought his gaze back over to Sungho, coincidentally locking eyes with him. As Sungho smiled directly at him, waving, Jaehyun could have sworn he saw hearts floating around that man.
He tore his gaze away, grabbing Leehan’s soft drink, chugging it down before letting out a loud noise, coughing as the fizz burned his throat. Leehan patted his back with wide eyes, puzzled as to why his friend was trying to drink the entire drink like it was alcohol. Jaehyun’s eyes welled up with tears as he kept coughing, waving his hand, hoping to reassure Leehan he was fine, although he was clearly not.
But thanks to that, he was able to ignore the way his heart rate increased significantly. That doesn’t mean he forgot the way it felt.
Jaehyun tapped his pen against the table, his book left untouched as he stared off into the distance. By distance, he meant; he was looking at Sungho.
His friend, who was a year behind him, slid next to his seat in the library they were in. He leaned forward and quietly shot his question.
“Are we waiting for Sungho?” he asked.
Jaehyun turned to his friend, a glare fixated between his brows as he replied, “Yes but someone stopped him and they have been chatting for the past five minutes.”
“You counted??”
“No but I felt five minutes of my life was just wasted Woonhak.”
Woonhak groaned at how dramatic his older friend was. He ignored Jaehyun and began taking out his study materials, placing them on the table while Jaehyun continued staring (glaring) out the window.
A sigh slipped past his lips when Sungho turned around and headed into the library. Not long later, Sungho sat next to Jaehyun with a sheepish smile.
“Hey sorry for being late, someone was asking for directions since it was their first time coming to campus.”
Jaehyun scoffed, shaking his head. He stopped tapping his pen and instead started doodling scribbles on Woonhak’s notebook without the latter noticing.
“They could have just gone to the office.”
“Yeah they were asking directions to go to the office.”
“Oh. Well, they could have asked someone else who wasn’t busy.”
Sungho laughed, shaking his head as he lightly nudged Jaehyun’s arm, “What’s with you today?”
Jaehyun suppressed himself from rolling his eyes as he shot him a fake smile and waved it off, “There’s nothing wrong. Woonhak, your book.”
“Oh thanks— you scribbled two pages!”
Jaehyun snorted and patted Woonhak on the shoulder, “It’s two pages out of the whole book, you’ll live.”
“A few cents gone.”
“Suddenly you’re so calculative?”
“Says the one who counted—”
Jaehyun slapped his hand across Woonhak’s loose mouth and shot him a fierce glare. Woonhak withered and slumped his shoulders. Sungho shot a look at Jaehyun, who simply smiled and dodged the questioning look.
He was able to relax when Sungho brushed it off and went on to help Woonhak with his studies. Jaehyun had no reason to even be at the library but since Sungho was there, he tagged along.
He had no clue what book he took from the shelves but it was semi-interesting. However, soon his eyes grew tired of looking left and right and instead he brought his gaze upwards.
He took a good look around the library; it was quiet and barely filled with students. Some were whispering to their own friends, whilst some preferred solitude, studying by themselves. Jaehyun dragged his eyes over to Sungho. His bangs were now grown out, their length reaching below his eyes. His gaze focused on the book as he continued explaining to Woonhak.
Jaehyun’s eyes drifted further down. Sungho’s nose was sharp; a high nose bridge that complemented his features. His eyes lowered, fixated on Sungho’s cherry coloured lips. It jutted out slightly as he spoke, natural, pouty lips were what Jaehyun had in mind.
There were no cracks in sight, his lips were always moisturised. Jaehyun would know—he always saw his childhood friend putting on lip balm any time it felt dry.
Subconsciously, Jaehyun licked his lips. His were slightly cracked, his own fault for always forgetting to use lip balm. Recently, he had a drifting thought that used to come once in a blue moon but now it’s every day. Every waking second and that was—
How Sungho’s lips would be on his.
Jaehyun was barely able to tear his gaze away from Sungho, his eyes back on his book though nothing was really making sense in his head. All thanks to Sungho.
Weeks go by and Jaehyun knew that ugly green feeling was growing larger by the day. Every time he watched Sungho laugh or brush shoulders against someone else who wasn’t him, it irked him so bad. He wished he could whisk Sungho away, wrapping his arms around Sungho as he locked himself in place next to him.
It’s gotten to the point that his friends all noticed.
“Why are you glaring at that guy?” Leehan questioned, whispering into Jaehyun’s ear.
They were in a lecture hall, their class had just started when a boy arrived late. He had apologised and scurried off to an empty seat at the front. Leehan briefly looked at the boy before he turned his side, finding his friend shooting daggers.
Jaehyun sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, messing up his previously neat hair as he looked away. “It’s the same guy that tried to ask Sungho out on a date.”
“Oh.”
A short pause before he added, “Did he agree?”
Jaehyun scoffed and shook his head, “Of course not. Sungho has better taste than to go out with some dude like him.”
“Yeah you wish it was you.”
“Exactly—”
Jaehyun stopped speaking, his eyes blinking rapidly as he realised what he had said. Leehan smirked, his eyebrows wiggling as he let out a quiet laugh. He poked Jaehyun on the forehead, saying in a triumphant tone.
“I knew it. You like him.”
Jaehyun blankly stared at Leehan before rolling his eyes. Folding his arms, he replied with a pout, “Okay fine yeah so what?”
Leehan’s smirk grew wider at the sight of Jaehyun acting defensive. Another laugh slipped past his lips. “You like Sungho~”
“Shut up.”
“Hm? I don’t want to though?”
Jaehyun scowled, shoving Leehan lightly as he grumbled, “If you say or do anything I’m going to expose your crush on Han Taesan.”
The smirk on Leehan’s face never left. A hint of mischief was twinkling in his eyes and Jaehyun knew he should be scared of what was coming out of his friend’s mouth next. Leehan leaned in, whispering in a giddy tone.
“That’s not gonna work since I’m gonna go on a date with him soon.”
“What!?”
Shock was written all over his face, his voice echoing through the quiet lecture hall.
“Myung Jaehyun.” his lecturer’s cold, sharp voice rang out.
“If you are not going to pay attention, I suggest you keep it down so the others can focus.”
“Yes..” Jaehyun muttered, his ears turning red from embarrassing himself.
After a while, he nudged Leehan, whisper shouting, “When was this? How have I never heard of this!”
Jaehyun couldn’t believe his ears. Him? Leehan? Going on a date with Taesan? The same person who is so shy that they can’t make eye contact??
Leehan giggled and smiled, “Yesterday, he suddenly asked me when we were walking back.”
“...Did he say it was a date?”
“No but he implied it.”
“What did he say?”
“Details you don’t need to know.”
Jaehyun groaned and shook his head, “That just means he just asked you to hang out.”
Leehan stuck his tongue out, “You’re just jealous that I get to go on a date with my crush while you’re moping around with a green face.”
“I am not.”
“Says the one who has been scowling and being very upset for the past few weeks.”
He snapped his head back towards the lecturer as he murmured, “No I have not been.”
Unfortunately for him, he has been.
And he didn’t know how to stop it especially when Sungho dropped a big bomb of news on him during their weekly weekend movie night.
Jaehyun had his head leaned up against Sungho’s shoulder as he quietly munched on some popcorn they had purchased from the grocery store. It wasn’t the best but it helped with their itchy hands. A random action movie was playing on the tv. Sungho’s eyes were glued to the screen, whereas Jaehyun was more focused on how stale the popcorn tasted in his mouth.
“Jaehyun,” Sungho suddenly spoke over the movie. Jaehyun hummed in response, letting him know he was listening. His hand messily fumbled through the popcorn bowl in his arms, waiting for Sungho to say his next words.
“I’m going on a date tomorrow.”
Jaehyun choked on his popcorn, the bowl shaking tremendously from how hard he was coughing. Okay, this was not what he was expecting to hear, nor did he want to hear this either. He sat up straight, looking at Sungho, his voice nearly cracking as he spoke.
“Who?”
“Riwoo.” Sungho casually answered, his eyes still fixed on the screen, blissfully unaware of the way Jaehyun’s mind was a mess. The feeling that had settled inside his chest began bubbling once again.
“Riwoo? As in our Riwoo?”
“Mhm.”
Jaehyun wanted to throw up. He thought he only felt jealous when strangers flirted with Sungho but he was wrong. So terribly wrong he really wanted to vomit his feelings out.
And that’s what he did without a second thought.
“Don’t go on the date.” Jaehyun said, his voice coming off hoarse and cold. It wasn’t his intention but he can’t take it back. Not when Sungho finally tore his gaze away from the tv screen, locking eyes with him.
“Why not?”
“Just don’t.” Jaehyun pleaded, his hand inching closer to his hair, the temptation to rip chunks of his hair out.
He didn’t want to imagine Sungho having fun with Riwoo in a romantic way. He didn’t want to see Sungho blushing when Riwoo held his hands— he didn’t want Sungho to start talking about his love life if it wasn’t with him.
Sungho raised an eyebrow, a puzzled expression plastered on his face. He turned his body, facing him now.
“You can’t just tell me not to go on a date without any reason. Shouldn’t you be happy for me?”
He shook his head, a frustrated look now on his face, “No I can’t be happy. Does this—” he gestured towards his face, “—look like I’m happy for you?”
“What the hell Jaehyun? What’s wrong with you? You know what? Forget it. I’m going on that date.”
Red filled his vision as panic seeped in. He scoffed and rolled his eyes, a deep frown burrowed between his brows as he spoke, “What’s wrong with me? Oh I don’t know Sungho, maybe it’s the fact that you’re going on a date with Riwoo. Out of everyone! Riwoo!”
“If not Riwoo then who should I be going on a date with?”
Jaehyun slapped his hand across his chest as he yelled out without any hesitation, “Me!”
Silence fell upon them but Sungho broke it not even a minute later.
“You?”
Jaehyun knew he no longer had anything to fall back on, so he nodded, pretending as if he wasn’t about to crash out anytime now.
“That’s right.”
Sungho opened his mouth yet nothing came out. Jaehyun didn’t know what else to do other than to push through. He was already overstepping the line between their friendship but at this point, he couldn't care less about it.
He leaned in, grabbing Sungho’s hands and squeezing them. “Yes, me. Not Riwoo, not some random dude or girl. Go on a date with me. I..I can do so much better than them— than everyone in fact! I know the way you like your coffee, the way you prefer to sleep on a certain side of the bed, the way you like your steak to be cooked, the way you like a certain length when you have a haircut. If you give me a chance I can prove it, prove that I should be the one by your side.”
He stared right into Sungho’s eyes, unwavering. His heart beating so hard against his chest, he prayed he didn’t need to go to the hospital to check on it.
Jaehyun watched as the frown between Sungho’s eyebrows disappeared and a smile bloomed, melting his heart into goop instantly.
“So tomorrow we have a date then?” Sungho asked, leaning in. Jaehyun could count how many lashes this pretty boy had if time allowed but there wasn’t so he nodded in a daze.
Sungho pulled away, pressing his back against the soft plush of the sofa as he whipped out his phone.
“Just informed Riwoo I’m cancelling the date.” he said before turning back to Jaehyun, a chuckle slipping past his lips as he added, “Can we continue watching the movie now?”
Jaehyun snapped out of it and grinned widely. He wrapped his arms around Sungho, snuggling closer than before as he answered in a chirpy tone, his jealousy that had consumed him for the previous weeks instantly vanishing, “Yeah!”
As the two brought their focus back to the tv screen, none of them noticed the way Sungho’s phone lit up with notifications.
Sungho: Riwoo it worked perfectly! I’m going on a date with Jaehyun tomorrow!
Riwoo: I told you it would work.
Riwoo: That guy is so blatantly obvious with his jealousy.
Riwoo: Treat me for lunch as a thank you!