Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Will?"

His voice cracked. How embarrassing, or it would be if someone were there. No, of course not, because Will is probably asleep in the Apollo cabin with Kayla and Austin, or maybe anxious-hovering in the infirmary, making sure no one is dying from a snake bite or spear wound (stupid deathtrap climbing wall giving his boyfriend more work).

Nico hugged himself in the dark, wishing his sister hadn't gone back to New Rome, wishing he wasn't alone again. He couldn't help but compare the loneliness to his time in Tartarus, even if it was nothing like that, and he knew he'd see Will in the morning.

He rubbed his thigh, wincing, and reached into the shadows to grab some Dettol from the infirmary. Once he'd spent way too long procrastinating "practising safe wound safety" (thanks mini-Solace), he checked the clock, once, twice, three times. How was it only 11 pm? He went to bed an hour ago? Surely not, it'd been at least three hours. It had!

Ok, that's fine, Hazel's friend? Subordinate? Person she knows? Had given Hazel some random alternative music when she'd found out Hazel had an "emo" brother, and he was slowly making his way through them. He could pass time without being a danger to himself or others sometimes, couldn't he? (No, it doesn't count when Percy tackled him while the son of Hades was reading and ended up in the infirmary, Will, and technically, the dismemberment rule was not broken that time.)

Thinking this much of our not far off future
will surely drive me

Mad
Mad
Mad
Mad
Mad
Mad
Mad
Mad

And hey, the song was fitting. He was definitely going mad.

And the time isssssss 11:01 pm. Perfect. He could deal with this. He lived in the Underworld half the time, Silence was not worse than the screams of the wretched. Except that this amazing damn song was reminding him how temporary he really was. He wasn't a tattoo. He wouldn't leave more than a dull ache. He really needed to find better distraction music; now wasn't the time for Hunter Allen's mummy issues, and this was not a pop band (shut up, evil oracle known as Google). Maybe he could go play fetch with Cerberus, or help Persephone in her garden. Turning into a plant really hadn't been that bad. But no, his dad was under strict instructions from Nico's doctor that shadow travel was a no-go without Will's supervision and that demigods actually do need sleep, it wasn't just a hobby for weak people like Nico convinced Hades last time.

Chapter Text

Eventually, the sun peeked through the curtains and blinded the child of death, but for once, he didn't mind the arrival of the light. He sent a quick prayer of thanks to his boyfriend's father, only slightly cursing his lateness.

He shuffled to the edge of the bed, rolled off, and sat up cross-legged in front of the door. Nico wouldn't even have minded that much if his ex-crush/older-brother-figure had burst through the door as he often did; he craved human life that badly.

Not even 10 minutes after dawn, Nico saw Will through the window. Usually, the curtains of the Hades cabin were closed until at least midday, so rightfully, Will looked nervous.

"Come in!"

A delayed and disjointed knock settled on the door before the door curved outwards, and Will Solace was standing on the front porch.

"Nico? What are you doing awake?"

The child of the underworld blinked in the sudden rush of light, slightly dazed. He grinned at his boyfriend, a crooked, pained grin, but it was progress.

"Hey, Solace."

Will turned the light on, closing the door so they could have some privacy. He could tell something was wrong from how Nico wouldn't meet his eyes, and the dark bags, even his hair looked worse than usual, and nobody thought that was even possible.

"Nico... did you even sleep? You know you can talk to me..."

He sat down in front of Nico, also cross-legged.

"Just... a bad night, Will. No, I didn't sleep, but its f- I'm fine. See?"

He smiled wider, and if Will hadn't been too far in love already, he might have screamed. Seriously, even Piper Mclean and Drew Tanaka couldn't teach him to smile how he used to, but Will thought it was still adorable, because apparently he was attracted to people who looked like they wanted to gut him.

"Can I check, please? You know I trust you, but you don't have the best track record..."

Nico's smile dropped quickly, but he shrugged, holding out his hand to his boyfriend as guilt rippled through him.
Will looked at Nico with an understanding glumness. He could feel the battle the Dettol and immune system were (luckily) winning, but Nico had been clean for about a month, and Will knew personally how much giving in could feel like losing.

"You know that I know that telling you to stop won't make anything better and will just make relapses so much worse, but you can always come to me, Nico. Don't forget that. I'm always here for you."

While Nico knew this was true, he still couldn't shake the shame he'd somehow triggered or angered his extremely stressed boyfriend, and the only way he knew to react was deflection.

"Chiron won't even let you use the Bunsen Burners to make medicine anymore, hypocrite."

Will felt a flash of pain. How could Nico say that? But he knew it was true, and that Nico was just trying to avoid showing emotion. Wow, Lord Hades, I never would have guessed ignoring, neglecting and verbally abusing an already deeply traumatised child from the 1930s would have lasting consequences to their emotional state!

"Will, I didn't mean- I'm s-"

He cut Nico off with a sad smile.

"It's fine, Neeks, fuck, you haven't slept in 24 hours, and you don't like talking about this. Do you want me to heal you, or just clean it?"

Nico stood up and pulled down his jeans. Not like that. Maybe one of the others needed to re-explain social queues again, but they were all neurodivergent, so that wasn't usually helpful anyway. Maybe he should have just responded first, but he was wearing boxers, so it was fine, right?
Will choked in shock, but in his defence, this wasn't even the weirdest he'd seen from Nico, let alone the infirmary full of ADHD half-gods he ran, so he recovered quickly.

"Nico...? You know that doesn't actually help my question, considering I'd need you to do that for either. Verbal, please?"

He gulped, staring at the large expanse of bandages, hoping Nico had just been overreacting and used too much, but also knowing better from checking his vitals earlier.

"Oh, second...please."

The 'patient' offered after a while. Will knew he was ashamed, but sometimes having the solid reminder of the consequences helped to stop relapses from being constant, having a physical 'cool down period' and having something to poke at without reopening already healed skin.

"Let's sit on the bed, so I can see what I'll need to do, ok Neeks?"

Nico nodded, and they both headed over. Once they settled, Will began unwrapping the white fabric gently, his fingers trailing over the skin on Nico's thigh. Holy shit, Will Solace was touching Nico's thigh. It was so hard to focus on the reason, and maybe it was a welcomed distraction, but his 'delicate 1940s sensibilities' were ruining any 'horny teenager' thoughts and clouding him with guilt. Will looked up, confused when he accidentally felt Nico's heartbeat.

"You know I'm not judging you for relapsing, right? And these aren't too bad, they don't need stitches or anything."

Nico gritted his teeth in embarrassment and frustration.

"That's not it, don't worry about it."

Will gave him a look.

"I'm going to go get some supplies and your file so I can record this, ok?"

Nico nodded absently.

"You're fine with it going on file, considering I'm not using my powers, and it will leave a mark, right? I know Kayla and Austin will see it, but I can't leave a fresh wound unfiled just in case."

Another nod.

"Ok, I'll be back in 5, Neeks, love you."

Will left with one last concerned look. He knew this was bound to happen sometime; it was all part of the healing process, but he still wished sometimes that he could just tell him to stop doing this and be happy, and it would work. He knew it was hypocritical, but Nico deserved to be happy.

Chapter Text

As Will walked ran to the Infirmary, his world slowly crashed around him.

Nico wasn't better.

He tried to rationalise, use his own logic to reassure himself. There was a reason 'Familiarity' by Atlas Ivy worked so well to describe Nico and their relationship. Will knew that "stealing Nico's darkness wouldn't show him the light" because accepting all parts of himself was vital to healing.

Will also knew how much of a setback relapses like that were. For Hades' sake, he had firsthand experience, not just as the camp healer but as a traumatised demigod teenager himself.

As he raided the admittedly shockingly pathetic bandage, disinfectant and gauze storage (Chiron was ridiculously bad at remembering to order more materials after brutal capture-the-flag matches), he mentally chanted the steps for bad wounds like that. Rinse the wound, clean the wound, apply godly foods, ointments or stitches as needed, dress the wound...

What was Will doing with his life? If he hadn't been a child of Apollo, if he'd been a normal teenager, he'd be sleeping in, stressing about a bio exam when he returned to mortal high school. He'd have friends just because they could be, rather than half-siblings who didn't share DNA, and bullies turned closest friends through the trauma of all their family being murdered in front of their eyes.

But, at least he had Kayla and Austin, he had Cecil and Lou Ellen, and most importantly, he had Nico. What the hell was he thinking? Sure, the pressure of being the only good medic at this deadly camp (with Chiron doing the bare minimum) brought him to the brink daily, but he wouldn't wish to be normal for anything. He loved his friends and family; he did (albeit begrudgingly) love his narcissistic dad, and he loved this place.

"I'm back, babe - Nico, what the fuck are you doing?"

His ghostly boyfriend was upside down, hanging from the top bunk with his legs around the safety wall. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he looked like a sleepy bat, or maybe a bored vampire.

"Ahh - fuck!"

The son of Hades fell, grabbing a shadow at the last second and ending up on the other side of the room, in a dark shadow.

"Hey Will, you got everything you need?"

He sat in front of the older (or was it younger?) boy, ready to get fixed up by the unofficial doctor.

"Uh... yeah sure, let's get to it then, I guess?"

They sat in companionable (although sad) silence, as Will gently wiped dried blood with a disinfectant cloth and dabbed the edges with diluted nectar, just enough to speed the healing and keep it safe. However, it would definitely scar in some places. He ached to perform a hymn and completely erase the physical reminder of his boyfriend's pain, but he reminded himself again how critical it was to let Nico heal his own way. If he changed his mind during the next few months, he could always get rid of the marks. So long as it was before Nico began to see them as a part of himself, of course, his powers would still classify them as something needing to be fixed, and he would be able to remove them.

"All done, Neeks... want to talk yet, or should we head to breakfast?"

The child of Hades just shrugged; he didn't exactly feel up to decision-making just yet, so he'd do whichever Will wanted at that point.