Work Text:
Age 5: DESPITE THE LITTLE amount of time he’s spent in their care since they offered to let him become a hero, Keigo already knows he must tread lightly. He knows, despite their help, he’s on his own. Just as he always has been. It’s how he notices the minute shifts in stance, the barely-there downturn of their mouths, the slight narrowing of their eyes. He knows these are things that only show when they’re upset; when he’s made them upset. All of his Commission trainers—they don’t want him calling them teachers —have the same tiny ways of showing their disapproval. It’s how he knows, now, that his current teacher is upset. He can’t help but curl his toes in the stark-white shoes they’ve given him; can’t help the way he clenches his fist atop the worksheet they’ve set in front of him and taught him how to do numerous times now. His wings tense, and his head naturally droops with her nerves.
“Hawks.” —That’s what they call him now.
His voice is weak when he responds, “Yes, ma’am.”
“Perhaps this is too advanced for you, yet.” His stomach boils a heavy, hot, sickly feeling at those words. He wants to both cry and grit his teeth.
“I can do it! I swear!”
The trainer gives a thoughtful look. It’s the first time he’s seen it on one of them.
“Then perhaps we need to change focus. You’ve just learned how to write, after all, and you’re still carrying that Endeavor plushie around with you . . .” Keigo can feel his feathers fluff up at the mention of Endeavor-san. This does not escape the trainer’s eyes. “Perhaps we shall have you write about Endeavor-san, then.” The trainer’s sweet smile does not reach their eyes, but Keigo is now too enthralled with writing rescue plans for Endeavor-san to pay it too much mind.
Age 8: THEY’VE ASKED HIM to keep a notebook. Since they taught him how to write three years ago, he’s gotten better, but in order for him to become a hero, they say, he has to work on writing out his thoughts quickly and presentably. They told him when they handed him the notebook that writing helps focus the mind and sharpen memory. They want him to write about what he’s learned from them—to process and execute with his mind as much as his body. As long as he remembers what they taught him, they said it didn’t matter how he did it. So, much like all those years ago, he can’t help but gravitate towards Endeavor-san again. He’s a hero, his hero; despite his personal feelings, Endeavor-san is the perfect thing for testing his memory and focus. His writing improves.
Age 12: THEY NO LONGER hand him notebooks. Instead, they have him verbally repeat his lessons as he concentrates on them. They want him to be aware of his surroundings, to take what happens in his life and repeat it back to them in detail. His writing has made his memory and focus stronger, but now he has to apply that to everyday life, and it’s hard. He doesn’t want to do this, but he must. So, as he goes through his grueling training, he thinks about what Endeavor-san would do. How would he report his surroundings? What would he point out first? What words would he use? What tone and sentence structure? Who would he be reporting to? Hawks wants to be a hero like Endeavor, so it only makes sense to emulate him.
Too bad his trainers catch on.
Age 15: HE’S STARTED GOING on undercover missions. To guide him through it, he has a Hero mentor who now teaches him more than the Commission trainers do. And through the late nights and early mornings, through apprehending villains, sparring, and getting used to the varied hours a hero will always end up working, he no longer has time to fantasize in his head. He no longer thinks about the adventures he could get up to with Endeavor; no longer thinks lightheartedly of the battles he and other heroes have faced—will face. Too many times he’s been trained by having to fight for his life, and then to fight for the lives of others, and then thinking he’s saved those lives only for them to be dimmed no matter what he does. He has seen the underbellies of regular haunts, of people who look like they have it together but underneath they’re rotting away.
Now, instead of fantasies, he sets goals and works to achieve them. Instead of dreaming of his own rescue, he resolves and plans to rescue others. When time slips away from him, and everything is too much, he allows himself wandering thoughts of what it would be like to work with Endeavor; to wonder what kind of villains they’d face together, and how he could support him. Even when he can no longer consciously write about his hero, he still will always end up doing so.
Age 18: HE’S NOTICED A pattern in the months since his debut as a hero. Of course, this pattern was to be expected with the work he’s taken on, the step-up he’d been given, and the time he’s spent meeting with his growing fanbase. In these last months, the mail his agency has received has flooded their detection unit and forced them to scramble for more hires. Of this mail, most of it gets handed off directly to Hawks. Why? Well, while he may be a relatively new hero, he’s soaring through the Hero Billboard Chart rankings and is projected to be within the Top 10 by the time the next one rolls around. More importantly, though, before he can be swamped with the busywork of being a high-ranked hero, are the letters and other such mail his fans have sent him. It is crucial in these beginning stages to seek their feedback, to let them know he’s listening to them.
As a new hero, while people’s imaginations are still running wild figuring out the many different aspects of his quirk that they have not seen yet, he receives fanfictions of himself saving the day, much like he used to do in his imagination with Endeavor-san.
+1) Age 24: IN THE AFTERMATH of his infiltration of the League of Villains—of his exposed lies and connections to the HPSC, of the responsibility weighing ever-heavy on his shoulders—along with the hate, Hawks receives an influx of love. He can only describe the writings his fans furnish him with as heart-clenching, empathetic, and fluffy. They write of him as a phoenix, risen from the ashes of his downfall, of his unfortunate circumstances, to protect them at the threat of his life. He sees, after the press conference held in the wake of their broadcasted secrets and shames, how the people’s perception has changed. It’s been changed—has been doing so for a while now. At the height of his career, where he’s saved enough people to reach the heights of Endeavor’s famous flames, he also stumbles. And in his stumbling, his fans have caught him, and lifted him right back up. Instead of doing the saving, he’s once again being the one saved.