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Kai woke up feeling pissed. It has been like this for a week now.
Kai actually hated feeling like this and for the past few days, he has been doing his best to calm his emotions down and not let it affect how he would act in front of his roommate and currently the person he loved and cherished the most, Choi Soobin.
Catching feelings for your best friend was probably a bad idea if you could control it but right now, Kai simply didn't have the choice because falling for Soobin was easy, it simply happened one morning as they ate their breakfast. There was no grandiose moment when Kai realized his feelings, it was just watching the sun rays land on Soobin's face as they silently ate their meal was his wake up call that he would want to experience this for the rest of his life.
Kai sighed for the 3rd time since opening his eyes. He really needed to keep his feelings in check, he can't let this get out of control. He tried to get up and start his day but the pressing feeling on his chest made it hard. Was he really being overdramatic on a Saturday morning?
Well, whatever, he would blame the conversation he heard last night before going to bed.
He didn't really mean to eavesdrop, he was just on the way to the kitchen to get some water when he heard Soobin on the phone, talking to somebody in their living room.
“…most favorite person in the world right now! You're the best Beomgyu!” Soobin excitedly yapped (he was not yapping, Kai just wanted to use that term just because) and Kai could hear the happiness on his tone and he pouted at that.
He took his glass of water and hurriedly went back to his room to keep the heavy feelings on his chest locked there because he was sure that when Soobin sees him, he won’t be able to hide them well.
And that was the reason why Kai did not get a good night's sleep. First of all, he was supposed to be Soobin's favorite, second.. okay maybe he was feeling a little jealous because he only heard of this Beomgyu guy a week ago and why was he Soobin's favorite already?
Okay, maybe jealousy was a strong word, he tried to think of what other names he could give his emotions right now but to no avail, he thought of nothing.
“Ugh,” Kai looked at himself from his bedside mirror. “Crazy, stupid, stop thinking” he scolded himself before screaming on his pillow.
Once he was done, he decided to push away his feelings that had been eating him alive for the past few days and opted to go to Soobin's room and greet him good morning and maybe ask him what he wanted to eat for breakfast.
He stretched for a while, took a deep breath, and like a routine, he stepped out of his room and went straight to Soobin’s room, rehearsing his script in his mind on how he would ask him to eat breakfast with him but when he knocked on the door he received no answer. He tried knocking again before opening the door which was something he and Soobin did. He expected to see a sleeping Soobin on his bed but to his surprise, the room was empty.
Just like 3 days ago.
Kai and Soobin had been roommates for 3 years now. In those 3 years, eating breakfast together has been part of their schedule but their streak was cut off that annoying Wednesday morning.
Kai excitedly went out of his room, contemplating if they should eat the leftover side dishes from yesterday or if Soobin was more interested with some soup to start their day but to his surprise, a note was on the doorframe of Soobin's room.
“Good morning baby, I'll just go to Beomgyu's place for a bit. It might take a while so I won't be able to eat breakfast with you T_T sorryyyy but I prepared a simple meal for you please enjoy <3”
‘Beomgyu…’ he hummed to himself.
‘Why would his Soobin hyung go to this Beomgyu guy's place when they only met 3 days ago? What was special about him that Soobin, someone who rarely visits other people’s houses, was suddenly spending the morning in this Beomgyu guy's place?’
He couldn’t explain what or why he was feeling / this / emotion as he stood there, reading Soobin's message repeatedly. Something began pounding and squeezing his heart and he didn't like that feeling one bit. It felt like someone was putting needles in his heart before pouring ice cold water on his entire body.
He couldn’t find the perfect word to explain what he was feeling. Okay, fine, maybe he could, he just couldn’t believe that he was feeling like this.
Jealousy.
This was the first time Kai had ever felt jealousy in his life.
Unlike that day, there was no note for him right now and that made his heart ache. Kai sighed as he heavily dragged himself to step away from Soobin's room.
“Okay, Soobin hyung didn't really need to inform me about anything, when did I become so demanding?” he scolded himself before heading towards the kitchen, the heaviness on his chest feeling more and more annoying.
Kai decided to eat alone instead (again). Anyway, he could do this, he spent the first 19 years of his life eating breakfast without Soobin, so he was sure he could manage. He doesn't need Soobin to start his day, it was not as if Soobin could make his day 100 times better, no who said that? Kai's day would be fine even without having breakfast with Soobin. He could do this.
He couldn't do this. His thoughts kept on straying to what Soobin and Beomgyu have been doing right now. Were they currently holding hands? Were they currently cuddling? Were they currently kissi-
His thoughts were interrupted with the smell of something burning and he panicked when he realized he was actually cooking and he burned the egg he was frying.
‘If Soobin hyung was here, this won't happen' his mind shouted and he shouted back at it before accepting his fate and taking the burnt egg and placing it on top of his rice.
He was quietly eating some leftover rice and the burnt egg he cooked when suddenly a thought passed by his mind.
‘'Maybe they are kissing each other right now' his mind whispered and he wanted to scream. Where did the thought come from?
He didn't want to spiral but the thought of Soobin doing all of these cute things with Beomgyu was making him irritated. He should be the one doing all of that with Soobin, not some boy that randomly appeared in his life and was now on a mission to take Kai's favorite person away from him.
‘Kai, you’re being dramatic,’ the rational side of his brain whispered when the other part of his brain complained. ‘He's not, how can he not overthink when he read that message from that Beomgyu guy?’
And that was when Kai was reminded of what happened 2 days ago.
Soobin and Kai were both lounging in Soobin's room, Kai currently laying on Soobin's arm and Soobin hugged him with his left arm as his right hand held his phone so they could watch Jujutsu Kaisen peacefully.
Kai felt peace that moment, finally giving his mind some break from all the thinking he had been doing for the past few days when a message popped out of Soobin’s phone.
Beomgyu: You're amazing in everything you do <3
Beomgyu: I'm sure everything will turn out the way you planned because it's you hyung 😊
Kai's heart stopped beating seeing those notifications. He felt selfish for what he was feeling just by reading those messages and with that he detached himself from Soobin's hold (which was hard by the way because Soobin's arms was his favorite thing in the world as it felt like home but right now it was suffocating him). He excused himself saying he needed to pee and maybe he could flush away and forget the messages he saw.
Kai sighed for the 1205th time that week. The heaviness on his chest was frustrating him.
“Soobin hyung has been really spending a lot of time with this Beomgyu guy huh?” He asked himself as he washed the dishes. He was starting to drown in his own sadness when a small part of his brain whispered ‘maybe we should move on?’
Thinking too much would never be good for him. The last time Kai overthinked like this, he accidentally rode a bus going to Gyeonggi province when he didn't know anyone there. He just realized it happened when the bus driver was letting him off.
Why did he recall this memory? Now he was even more sad because he was reminded that Soobin hurriedly followed him there so they could go home together.
Maybe him sticking up to Soobin like this was a bad idea. Soobin was always saving him but all he did was cause problems for him.
With his thoughts spiralling, he pulled out his phone and began searching
‘Ways on how to move on from a crush on your best friend’
1. Acknowledge and Process your feelings
Kai nodded, he thought to himself how he was already doing a good job at this. He completely acknowledged that Soobin would never be his and now he just has to accept it. Easy. He laughed to himself, it was a fake laugh but it was a good start. If he could pretend that he was fine, then he would be. Fake it til you make it.
2. Focus on the friendship
How was Kai supposed to do this? Kai began thinking about how his friendship with Soobin was and he suddenly felt lucky. Finding Soobin was a gift from the universe. Whenever his mind wanders around the Soobin lane, he would just think about how sweet, kind, loving, and gentle Soobin was with him. Why was Soobin so affectionate with him?
He let out another sigh.
3.Limit Interactions
Okay, he could do this. Bless that they have separate rooms. He would just stay in his room whenever Soobin was with Beomgyu. He could do this. His heart will heart for a while like what was happening now but he could do this.
4. Redirect your focus
Kai began contemplating what hobbies he could possibly start. Anime was out of the question because that was his and Soobin's thing. Anything that involved going out was out of the question because he didn't like going out. Should he try painting? gardening? learning another musical instrument? Okay, he had plenty of time to think about this especially if he would be hiding from his favorite per-.. Kai pouted with the thought of Soobin being his favorite person and he simply chose to just finish reading the article.
5. Seek support
Seek support.
And seek support he did. As the conclusion of finally moving on creeped on him, he messaged the most wisest person he knew that would be able to comfort him secretly in his misery. He opened his phone and typed the message “ Hyung, I think I need to move on from Soobin hyung” he took a deep breath before sending it to his Yeonjun hyung and if he got teary eyed while typing that, nobody has to know. This was between him and their kitchen sink.
Kai was about to enter the bathroom to pee when he heard the rattling of the keys from their front door.
“Hueningie, I’m home,” their front door opened and he heard Soobin sing-songs “are you awake?” he called from the entrance of their home/apartment/place they live in or whatever he could call this place.
Kai sighed before running towards his room locking his door. “Hueningie, I’m home” he mockingly imitated Soobin before jumping on his bed and hiding under the covers.
He heard a small knock on his door and an attempt to open his door knob but he didn't dare to peak under the covers, choosing to drown in his own thoughts as he wore his headphones listening to Justin Bieber's ‘that should be me’, ignoring Soobin, just like how he ignored him 4 days ago.
Kai arrived at their apartment feeling excited to show Soobin the flyer of an egg tart shop he saw along the way. He stopped himself from buying as he wanted to try it with him.
“Hyung, I'm home” Kai announced and was confused because he could hear his voice but he was not responding to Kai's greeting. Usually he would welcome Kai warmly but right now he was talking but not addressing Kai. He made his way towards the direction of where Soobin's voice was coming from and was surprised when he realized that Soobin was on a video call with.. was that the Beomgyu guy again? Yes, it was that Beomgyu guy again, he heard Soobin call him saying “Beomgyu, stop" and did he blush? Why was he blushing? And how close did they actually get in that short of span that they were now facetiming each other?
Kai did not bother to distract him as he pocketed the flyer he found, mumbling “inner peace, mac and cheese” to himself repeatedly before choosing to go straight to his room and not bother Soobin anymore.
Kai was always the calm, cool, and collected type of guy but right now his feelings were a mess. He doesn't act like this on a normal day but right now he wanted to slap and scold himself from the behavior he was showing. This was the first time he ignored Soobin. He wanted to go to him and hug him and welcome him home but his feelings were stopping him. He just accepted that he would move on from him and let him be happy with that guy and right now, the wound on his heart were still fresh. They still ache.
“Feelings are stupid” Kai pouted, rolling on his bed once again.
‘ Deep breaths Kai’ he comforted himself as he started of thinking of things to do so he could completely forget his feelings for Soobin because this wasn't good for him anymore and if Soobin would be happy with Beomgyu then Kai would be happy for him even if it would break his heart in the process. He may be a little petty but Soobin's happiness would always come first.
Maybe, he could hide inside his room until all of these unwarranted emotions disappear. He will follow that article he found on wikipedia. It was step number 3 on that list. Limit Interactions. Staying in his room would be a full proof idea. This was definitely a good plan.
Well, it was a good plan until he needed to pee.
He tried to hold it for a bit, walking back and forth inside his room, but the urge kept on growing stronger that was why he decided to sneak out and hope Soobin won't notice him.
He slowly opened the door to his room, pressing on the lock so it wouldn't click but the creak of his door betrayed him because once he heard it, Soobin's voice followed.
“Kai” Soobin shouted excitedly from the kitchen, peeking right after and smiling happily at him. Kai had to force a smile out of himself so that Soobin wouldn't be suspicious. “Have you eaten breakfast? I bought some sandwich and this box of egg tart for you" He happily announced as he approached Kai and he had to calm himself down from sulking, hoping that he was no longer pouting. His heart was aching the longer the interaction continued.
“Thanks hyung, I'll eat it later” He responded, doing his best to genuinely smile at Soobin but he was sure his face was saying all the emotions he was feeling. Jealousy (ugh), sadness, bitterness, annoyance and whatever, he would get over this and his annoying feelings towards Soobin and he would probably be happy someday seeing him with that Beomgyu guy and without knowing his eyes rolled just by having those thoughts.
He was thankful for Soobin's kind gesture with bringing him food but at the moment, even an egg tart couldn't make him happy.
“Are you okay? Are we okay?” Soobin asked worriedly, the smile on his face fading as he noticed Kai's reaction with the box of tart.
“I'm fine, I just need to pee" He answered before running towards the toilet.
Kai hid there for a while, thoughts racing, heart breaking, completely forgetting what he should be doing there, but when he realized that he stayed longer than how one should stay inside the toilet to pee, he pushed himself to step out, crouching a little so he could sprint his way back to his room.
“Can we talk?” Soobin whispered at the side of the door where Kai just stepped out. Kai was surprised, aborting his plan on escaping to his room once he saw the sad look on Soobin's face, all his defenses crumbled down.
“Hyung, are you okay?” Kai came closer, looking at Soobin worriedly, his previous feelings of jealousy and fear of facing Soobin disappeared.
“Are you avoiding me?” Soobin asked, playing on the hem of his sweatshirt.
“No?” Kai wanted to sound confident but the crack on his voice betrayed him. Why was his own body not on his side right now? What is this betrayal? Because as much as he wanted to run, he was moving closer to where Soobin was standing.
“I think you are,” Soobin responded and Kai felt nervous with the direction of this conversation. “You didn’t go to my room last night and you didn’t open the door for me earlier and” Soobin was about to add something else when their doorbell began to ring and when the monitor showed a boy with wolf cut hair, pretty eyes, and cute whisker dimple smile, waving happily on the other side of the door, Kai's heart stopped beating, it felt like someone was punching it.
“Soobin hyung, you forgot something at my place" a deep, beautiful voice echoed on their speaker and that was the moment Kai knew that was Beomgyu, the person that was now Soobin's favorite and the person that would probably replace him.
With the sound of his heart shattering, Kai didn't hear Soobin pleading for him to not go anywhere and the moment he opened the door to their apartment, Kai ran to his room, closing the door and hiding under his blanket once again.
‘Deep breaths, deep breaths’ he repeatedly instructed himself but when he felt a lone tear drop on his cheeks, it was like the flood gates of hell opened and he couldn't stop crying. He clutched onto his blanket and when he heard the door to his room opening, he held onto his blanket even tighter.
“Kai?” Soobin called from his door. Kai didn't have the heart and the courage to answer him, thus he remained quiet and hoped Soobin wouldn't pull his blanket away and simply leave and let him wallow in pain.
“Baby?” Soobin called once again and no Kai won't be swayed. Who cares if Soobin called him baby, he would probably call this Beomgyu guy ‘the love of his life', his ‘darling’, his ‘ray of light' or whatever terms of endearment can one use. His mind was trying to think of more pet names, pouting even harder as he imagined Soobin using them on that Beomgyu guy when he suddenly felt Soobin's hand patting his head before
“My baby, what's wrong?” Soobin asked as he pulled the Kai-shaped lump closer and Kai could feel he was being engulfed into a hug but he won't be defeated, maybe after this Soobin would run back to Beomgyu's arms so he could hug him.
‘Gays are so annoying' his mind supplied when suddenly he felt Soobin laying behind him and nuzzling his nape.
“Please don't ignore me.” Soobin mumbled, his hold on Kai's body getting tighter.
Kai couldn't do this anymore. He wanted to escape Soobin's hold. His embrace was making Kai's heart hurt even more, especially now that he was sure that this embrace would soon belong to Beomgyu.
“Hyung,” Kai cleared his throat before continuing, “I-"
“Are you crying?” Soobin's voice shifted, he no longer sounded sweet but rather distressed. Kai was about to answer when suddenly, the blanket he was using to hide himself was being pried away from his hold. Kai tried to sit down and pull his blanket back but the heavy weight on his chest was making it difficult for him to do so and now that Soobin was successful in removing the blanket, Kai hurriedly wiped his face with his arms.
“Did I make you cry?” Soobin asked, the teasing tone now gone when he saw Kai's tear-stained cheeks. Kai shook his head but his breath hitched when Soobin cupped his cheeks using both of his hands, wiping the tears away.
“I'm not,” Kai whined, trying to squirm away from Soobin's hold because why was he here holding Kai like this, like he was someone precious, when he could have been doing this with Beomgyu in the living room instead?
“What?” Soobin asked, confusing both of them.
“I said I'm not crying” Kai repeated, his tone still sad but a little monotonous.
“Yeah, you said that and we can see that it wasn't true,” Soobin deadpanned, “But why would I cup Beomgyu's face instead of yours?” he asked, looking at Kai confusingly.
“What?” Kai asked, thinking if he had said his thoughts out loud.
“You just said it" Soobin poutedly accused.
“I didn't" Kai was panicking internally. How could he have fucked up like this?
“Kai Kamal Huening, you just did, I…” Soobin was suddenly smiling fully and Kai wanted to escape, that smile was blinding. “My baby, are you jealous?”
“I'm not and stop calling me baby, go to your darling or whatever you call him and please let go of me” Kai pleaded, he didn't want to sound bitter but it was already too late for that now. He definitely sounded bitter.
“I won't,” Soobin resisted before completely engulfing Kai into a big koala hug.
“Hyung stop,” Kai tried to resist but his heart was not trying harder. If somebody would ask his heart how it was feeling right now it would probably say that they were savoring the moment being like this with Soobin because it would be the last. Set boundaries. That was what Wikipedia advised him.
“I'm not letting you go until you admit that you're jealous” Soobin looked like he forgot the meaning of personal space as hid his face on the crook of Kai's neck.
“I need to pee” Kai complained, his bladder was reminding him of what he forgot to do because everything Soobin does was distracting him.
“No you don't, you just peed" Soobin laughed, his hold on Kai kept on getting tighter.
“I forgot okay?” Kai raised his voice a little, he wanted to cry again, alone preferably. Not with this giant bunny clinging unto him, making it much more difficult for him to accept this one-sided love he was experiencing.
“Why?” Soobin was now nuzzling his nose on Kai's neck and that was bad for his poor, sad heart.
“Because I was thinking how you and Beomgyu are perfect for each other. How you would spend most of your time together doing all the lovey-dovey stuff that you won't do with me. There, I said it. Are you happy now? Can you now let me pee and melt on the bathroom floor out of my own embarrassment?” Kai was feeling angry and frustrated that he had no way out because this was Soobin and Kai could never lie to him.
Soobin detached himself from Kai after that and Kai thought he would be free to wail on his pain and suffering but once he was able to stand up and move away from his hyung so he could pee and maybe cry some more privately in the bathroom, Soobin reached for his hand and gripped it tightly.
“Um, I need my hand to pee. You could hold Beomgyu's hand instead you know” Kai mumbled monotonously, he would keep his tone like this so the bitterness and jealousy won't be evident.
“I'm coming with you in the toilet, god knows how long you would lock yourself in there once you're done peeing” Soobin was smiling widely and Kai was confused. Why was this big bunny smiling right now when Kai was suffering? Was he somewhat enjoying Kai's misery?
“Please, I want to be alone while peeing” Kai begged but Soobin was still refusing to let go.
“I want to be with you all the time” Soobin moved closer, sticking beside Kai.
“No you don’t, you want to be with Beomgyu all the time” Kai moved a little away from Soobin but his hyung simply followed, keeping no distance between them.
“Kai, listen to me. The only person I want to spend all my time together with is you” Soobin reassured him when he noticed that the frown on Kai’s face was still evident.
“You're just saying that to make me feel better” Kai was pouting, brows still furrowed. His heart was still feeling sad and he didn't know if Soobin was saying these things because they were true or if he was simply appeasing Kai down.
Soobin might have noticed his hesitancy and decided to pull Kai out of his room and take him to their living room.
When they reached their living room, he was surprised to see the same boy he was feeling absolutely jealous about, kissing another boy on their couch.
“Why are they doing that here? Why are they doing that on our couch?” Kai hysterically whispered, feeling shocked with the amount of kissing he was seeing right now.
“It seemed like they forgot they're not at their own place” Soobin leaned to his ear and Kai blushed with how close they were, his jealousy slowly simmering out as he looked at the couple that were still completely unaware that somebody was watching them.
“Who even is that?” Kai tugged Soobin's hand and his heart almost leaped when he realized they were still holding hands.
“The guy wearing a black oversized shirt with the headphones on his neck is Beomgyu and the guy with silver hair wearing a beanie and black hoodie is his boyfriend, Taehyun,” Soobin whispered, explaining who were the people in their couch right now.
“Why didn't you tell me he already has a boyfriend?” Kai almost shouted, feeling embarrassed that all this time he was being jealous towards someone that was taken.
“You didn't ask, and I honestly didn't think you would get jealous,” Soobin answered, completely endeared with Kai's reaction.
They were almost shouting and their bickering separated the couple who were busy having their tongues stuck on each other's throat.
“Ah, Soobin hyung, is this Kai?” Beomgyu's deep voice suddenly echoed in their apartment as he moved away from his boyfriend and made his way towards where the other two were standing. “You were right, he looked really pretty” Kai blushed with the compliment and… wait, did he say Soobin was right that he was pretty?
Beomgyu looked at their joint hands before smiling menacingly. “Did the egg tarts work? Are you two finally together?” Beomgyu squealed, not even waiting for Soobin to answer “Kai-ssi, Soobin hyung has been learning to bake egg tarts for a week just for you! I even told him that everything he do was amazing and that I was sure everything will work out fine for the two of you because I saw the effort he put into all of these” Beomgyu continued rambling making Kai blush with every single statement he was saying.
So the messages he saw were not because Beomgyu was whipped for Soobin, he was simply encouraging him into…into doing what? Kai wasn't sure, he was still feeling confused with whatever was happening.
Beomgyu, on the other hand, was still not done as he took one of Kai's hands (the one Soobin wasn't holding). “Kai, let me just say that Soobin hyung has been going non-stop talking about you and I completely understand now why you would always be his number 1 most favorite person like this guy just put me on 2nd place and he kept on saying how perfect, amazing, pre-” Beomgyu's rambling was cut short by Soobin covering his mouth and smiling at him threateningly.
“Okay, that’s enough,” He nervously laughed before looking at Beomgyu's boyfriend who was still watching them from the couch. “Tyun, please take him away” Soobin asked and Taehyun stood up to approach them, smiling at Kai shyly.
“Love, they're finally together, our job here is done” Beomgyu rushed towards his boyfriend and as Kai watched them, he couldn't help but melt with how adorable they look. Beomgyu held his boyfriend’s hand gently as his boyfriend looked at him with the softest gaze Kai had seen in his life.
The pair began heading out, both of them waving goodbye before stepping out and closing the door.
The silence lasted for a while and now, as he looked at the door, Kai didn't know what to think. He felt stupid and dumb and he silently hoped Soobin's memory for today would magically disappear.
All of what Beomgyu just said sank one by one.
Soobin learned to bake egg tarts just for him.
Soobin telling Beomgyu he was the second best because Kai would always be number 1 for him.
Beomgyu lifting Soobin's spirits in preparing whatever this was for Kai by telling him he would do great in anything he do.
Soobin doesn't stop talking about him when he was conversing with Beomgyu.
Beomgyu asked if the egg tarts worked.
What does this all mean?
Kai wanted to process all of the things happening but his bladder was really distracting him.
They remained glued to each other's side as Soobin patiently waited for him to react but Kai took the opportunity of his loosened hold to escape and ran towards the bathroom.
The fast beating of his heart was not good for his bladder as he has been holding it in for the past 2 hours now and he couldn't think straight because of this.
“Finally,” he grunted once he reached the toilet and was finally able to pee. His nervous system was finally able to relax after that but the peace only lasted for a few seconds because the next thing he knew was Soobin swinging the bathroom door open, following him.
“Hyung” Kai shouted, completely scandalized that his hyung really followed him there.
“Oh,” Soobin turned around immediately and Kai noticed his ears turning red.”You really needed to pee,” he whispered shyly and Kai couldn’t help but think that his hyung was so adorable.
Now, with everything clearer (both his mind and his bladder) Kai couldn’t help but laugh at himself internally.
How crazy of him to think that he would be able to move on from Choi Soobin.
Choi Soobin who was the most wonderful person he ever met.
Choi Soobin who was always with him, clinging to him like gum, in any given situation.
Choi Soobin who would always be someone he would cherish the most.
Choi Soobin who was someone he couldn’t leave without.
Choi Soobin who he had always loved from the start.
Kai washed his hands before heading where Soobin was standing and hugging him from behind.
"Why did you follow me here?" Kai smiled to himself, heart beating fast because he was finally able to hug Soobin like this again.
"Because I wanted to clarify things." Soobin asked, back still turned but Kai could feel him playing with his fingers. “Sorry for stressing you like this,” Soobin took a deep breath and Kai loved feeling his warmth like this. “It would always be you. It could never be anyone else.” Soobin took one of his hands and kissed his knuckles and Kai felt flowers blooming on his chest.
“Sorry for doubting you like that” He apologized, burying his face on Soobin’s back. Soobin held both of his hands, detaching it for a bit before turning around so he could hug Kai back and Kai couldn't help but smile at that. He suddenly realized that he missed Soobin after all that chaos.
“It's okay, my baby was just jealous” Soobin whispered, hugging Kai fully before moving back a little so he could nuzzle their noses together. Kai giggled from the gesture, he couldn't believe how quick his mood shifted.
“I'm sorry for being jealous, I thought I was being replaced.” Kai finally admitted, for the past few days he couldn't form into words what he was fully feeling but now he knew he could be fully vulnerable in front of Soobin.
“I could never” Soobin gasped dramatically before holding Kai's hand and kissing it. “Come here, I'll show you something" Soobin pulled him to their kitchen and took the box of egg tart before looking at Kai and going down on one knee as he opened the box.
Kai was surprised with the egg tarts forming a heart inside the box and they look absolutely appetizing and Soobin made them? Yes he wanted to kiss Soobin so bad right now. How can someone be even more perfect?
“Kai Kamal Huening,” Soobin’s voice was shaky and Kai felt nervous. What was his hyung doing? Why does it look like he was going to propose? “Please please please be my boyfriend” Soobin looked at him nervously and Kai had to take the box away from his hold so he could pull him up and do what he had wanted to do for months now.
“Is this a no?” Soobin asked and he looked defeated and Kai won't have that so he leaned forward and kissed Soobin on the cheeks.
“I could never” he imitated him and was surprised when Soobin leaned forward and kissed his lips and of course Kai immediately kissed him back.
Kai felt his soul leaving his body but this was probably the best experience he ever had. Soobin's lips felt so soft on his and the way it made his lips feel so tingly was a whole other experience. His hands were on his waist and Kai couldn’t stop giggling for all the sensations he was feeling right now. No wonder Beomgyu and his boyfriend kept on kissing. He would want to do this with Soobin every single minute as well.
They separated for a little and he couldn't stop giggling and smiling when Soobin peppered his face with kisses before nuzzling their noses and now that they were together, this gesture felt even more special.
The Soobin kisses attack came to a pause when his phone rang and when they looked at the caller ID, it was their Yeonjun hyung.
“Hi hyung,” Soobin greeted, putting the phone on loudspeaker so he could place it on the kitchen counter so he could place more kisses on Kai’s face.
“Choi Soobin,” Yeonjung shouted, surprising them both, “Where are you? What are you doing? What did you do with my baby? Why was he trying to move on from you?” They both looked at the phone and they could clearly imagine Yeonjun's stressed look.
“Sorry hyung, I was just being dramatic" Kai interjected instead, saving Soobin from their hyung's scolding.
“Kai? Did you guys fix everything? Are you finally done pining?” Yeonjun asked making Soobin shout a loud ‘yes', “Okay good, Soobin don't stress me out like this again, I didn't introduce you to Beomgyu to stress me out like this. Now I'm going back to sleep, continue whatever you guys are doing” Yeonjun hung up as fast as he could, he was probably still sleepy when he read Kai’s message and he felt thankful for his hyung’s action.
“Did you really consider moving on from me?” Soobin asked, looking a little guilty and sad.
“Yes, if that would make you happy" Kai smiled sadly, Soobin's happiness would always be his priority.
“Kai, you're my happiness, don't ever think that will change. I could never replace you. I would be too dumb if I would do that so please don't ever think of moving on from me or else I’ll cry” Soobin held his face once again and Kai leaned into the touch.
“I love you hyung, you're my happiness too” Kai finally confessed and before pressing a soft kiss on Soobin's lips.
“I love you too,” Soobin sighed before showering Kai with more kisses but was soon interrupted with his stomach grumbling.
“Let's eat the sandwich and egg tarts you made hyung" Kai kissed him one last time before pulling him towards their dining table.
They ate their breakfast and the wonderful egg tarts Soobin made while holding hands and Kai felt so at peace with everything. Living simply like this was always his dream and right now, he could clearly say that this is the life he always wanted and he was glad that Soobin was there with him.