Work Text:
I, for my own safety, will not reveal the means by which the following correspondence has been revealed to me. To cross a demon is risky business; to cross Nabiki even moreso.
One uninitiated into the workings of the spiritual may be surprised to learn not just that yokai exist, but that even within one species of monster there may be such rich cultural variety as to match that of humanity. The subjects of the correspondence below, as best as I have been able to gather over the past two decades of observation and interaction, are of a strain of worm-demon found primarily in the West. They might best be compared to bakeneko in the Eastern Yokai tradition, or to changelings in their native Western tradition. They may, whether by necessity or mere habit, assume the shape of common man and take to living among us, even going so far as to insert themselves into existing families using mental alteration charms.
As is indicated in the below collection, it is best not to assume much from these actions. Yokai are not usually, despite common depictions in popular media, malicious creatures. They have their own internal logics and morals, and in general do not exploit humanity any more than humanity actively exploits itself.
On the nature of the letters themselves, they have come to me undated, unordered, and in their original Daemonic language. There are also clear gaps in the letters, with some obviously being part of a longer back-and-forth correspondence of which the other parts are missing. I have done my best to arrange them into the most logical order and clarify gaps when necessary. Finally, all translations and editorial decisions made on the below letters are fully my own
H.G.
Tokyo, 1994
I
[Editor’s Note: By all indications, this is the earliest letter in my possession but not the earliest letter in the correspondence. By the point of this letter the yokai addressed in the letter as Wormwood (but whom I will refer to, for convenience, as Nabiki) has already been well-established in the Tendou family. I can not say when exactly she inserted herself into the family as its supposed middle-child, but it must have been sometime between the death of the Tendou matriarch (November 1979) and the events detailed in the response to this letter (April 1989).]
Dear Wormwood,
You will be pleased to learn that I have found a copy of Gobglabulon’s Guide to Human Emoting, which you should receive with this letter. There is no shame in having asked for help on this matter– among all the creatures mundane and spiritual, humans can be some of the most discerning when it comes to appearance. I believe they even have a term, “uncanny valley”, for the sense which you have so recently inspired in your associates. Do take care to note what further actions– or lack thereof– elicit such a response in future. Uncanniness is an easy way to unsettle a human, and a human unsettled is a human easily whisked away like sediment in a riverbed.
I have also taken some initiative and sent along a copy of Human Anatomy for Dummies. A bit pedestrian, I’m aware, but I know it to contain a wide variety of tips found useful amongst ‘the youths’ these days. I’m aware that you, as many wormlets do, have struggled with ensuring there are five fingers on each hand at any given moment. This should provide some assistance on the matter.
Please be sure to write back with any further requests, and do please share the latest of your work on that Kuno fellow– it truly warms my hearts to hear about your latest escapades.
Your Loving Uncle,
Screwtape
II
Dear Uncle Screwtape,
Thank you for your books, and for your advice regarding the utility of uncanniness. I stared at Kuno with no emotion on my face for two minutes yesterday and he was so unnerved that I was easily able to get twice the pay for my ‘sister’’s photos as usual. He did call me a she-devil, of course, so I might need to be careful about balancing my cover with my potential gains. Not that anyone would believe him, of course.
In other news, earlier today two new marks arrived at the Tendou Dojo. Apparently ‘Daddy’ signed a marriage contract with an old training buddy of his and told nobody about it– it would have come up in my research into the family otherwise. The girl who showed up to get married was super cute, as far as humans go, and her breasts felt pleasantly squishy when I gave them a quick grope. Still, I tossed her off to Akane the moment I could. I know some [Author’s Note: untranslatable] get married to humans, but it would really just get in my way. Once I have a proper haul, I don’t plan on sticking around!
Still, she turned out to be even more tempting than I had initially thought. Turns out, her and her dad are blessed by Jusenkyo! A cute, easily trickable, muscular partial-shifter? If I met her in one of the Under-Realms, she would be a jackpot! The only real issue I have with her is her insistence on being a man when she’s obviously not. Humans and their genders are so odd.
The girl’s name is Ranma Saotome, by the way, and her dad’s name (he shifts into a panda) is Genma. I know that usually the names of these humans would mean nothing to you, but does that name ring any bells? I swear I’ve heard it before, and not from my human hosts.
Your Niece,
Wormwood
III
Dear Wormwood,
I know that much time has passed since you first asked, but I have finally recalled why the name Genma Saotome is familiar. The Wormite Human Affairs Department kept a close eye on him for quite some time a few years ago due to his connections to a known enemy of Wormkind. This only occurred to me after it was reported to me that this Enemy– one ‘Happosai’-- has recently been spotted in Japan after years of inactivity. The Enemy has been responsible for the collapse of many burrows and the shaming of many women from our outer domains. I am writing you now partially as a warning. I have attached the most recent photo our department has of the man– if you see him, please write immediately.
To get back to lighter topics, please convey my thanks to Ku’Lughun for the clarifying poultice she sent me. My slime now glistens just like it once did when I was a wormlet.
Your Loving Uncle,
Screwtape
IV
Dear Uncle Screwtape,
We handled him.
Your Niece,
Wormwood
V
Dear Uncle Screwtape,
I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while, but things around Nerima ward have been crazy. I know you love hearing about whatever drama is going on at the moment, but you’ll have to be happy with your departmental politics for now– I don’t have the time or the brain power to tell you everything that’s happened in any way that makes sense. Just know that I am still safe and my ventures are still prosperous.
I’m also sorry that I’m only now writing to you because I need advice. While I have adjusted well and my coin pile is larger than ever, I’ve started developing an… attachment to my hosts. Kasumi is like an angel but without all the posturing, and I feel almost at home in this mammalian form when she wraps it in her arms. Akane is a temperamental annoyance, but she puts up with me and gives me all sorts of entertainment. From what I’ve learned here, that’s a common dynamic for human siblings.
As for Ranma– I could talk about her for hours. She’s been my number one profit generation for months now and I don’t see that ever stopping. She’s making all this money for me incidentally, or as a mark I’m exploiting. But I know if I had the chance to whip her into shape a bit, she’d be a perfect business partner and our profits together would fill the entire [Editor’s Note: Unknown, probably a worm-demon specific location]. She’s also insanely powerful. She’s bested Ku’Lughun and her great-grandling multiple times now even when put at a distinct disadvantage. If I brought her into the demonic side of business, I’m certain that she’d be able to hold her own. Really, I find myself regretting pushing her off to Akane, who doesn’t even recognize the gift she’s been ‘burdened’ with.
All of that to say– how should I handle all of these feelings? I’m worried that they will get in the way of my mission or– even worse– that I won’t ever want to complete my mission if it means leaving them behind.
Speaking of caring about my hosts, I’m sending a cooler with my letter. As long as the mailhound doesn’t get into it, there should be the carcass of a dead imp for you to enjoy. It came into the home and possessed my favorite sister host, Kasumi, before I could deal with it.
Your Niece,
Wormwood
VI
Dear Wormwood,
I had your aunt Sprigwheel dehydrate and smoke the imp you sent us; it came out perfectly. Enclosed with this letter should be a few strips of imp jerky– consider it a thank you, and an early Gruntmas present. [Editor’s Note: Gruntmas is not the worm equivalent of Christmas. It is, to my knowledge, some sort of celebration of the coming of Spring, much like our Lunar New Year.]
As to your concerns about your mission, and of your feelings of attachment to your hosts– I say, embrace it! You are only a wormlet once, and soon enough you will be a wrinkled old worm like me, with too many attachments in the Under-Realms to adventure up on the surface. Humans live more limited lives and have more limited forms than us, but some take their smaller canvas and paint pictures of such vibrancy that they are unparalleled in all of wormdom. When I encouraged you to go out and see the Overworld, it wasn’t just so you could start your own hoard and leave your old Uncle a few tales to live vicariously by. It was so that you could see the full breadth of what humankind has to show. If you love them as your sisters, be their sister. If you love them as your mate, be their mate. In coming centuries, you will look back fondly.
Regret is not for the things loved and lost, it is for the things you never let yourself love at all.
Your Loving Uncle,
Screwtape
VII
Dear Uncle Screwtape,
I kissed Ranma today. She was just sitting there, head tilted just to the side while working through a math problem (I’ve started tutoring her) and the light through the window bounced off of her hair just right…
I had a plan. I had an exact order to how I would go about things. First I would start scaling back the operations that exploit my hosts, then I would start trying to find ways to support them as they have supported me… as their family. Only then would I try to talk it over with Akane, see if we could have the entire engagement issue shifted over to me. And then, only after that would I talk with her about her preferred form and– if things went well– about my true form as well. I’m afraid I’ve thrown everything out of order.
Nobody caught us, and Ranma seemed to enjoy it even though I may have emitted some slime through sheer nervousness. Still, I know she feels something for Akane, and that Akane feels something back… I know you enjoy watching those human soap operas, but it’s no fun to be a part of them.
I could really use some advice right now. If I can’t figure out a way through this mess I might just burrow to the nethers in shame.
Your Niece,
Tendou ‘Wormwood’ Nabiki
VIII
Dear Uncle Screwtape,
I asked Ranko if she would still love me if I were a worm. She said yes!
I will be returning with her to the Under-Realms on the 3rd of Awakening [Editor’s Note: Likely equivalent to Keichitsu, or mid-March] for what the humans call a “Honey Moon”.
Your Niece
Saotome ‘Wormwood’ Nabiki
[Editor’s Note: What happens after this letter can only be speculated on. The Tendou family insists that Nabiki and her ‘husband’ are happy travelling the world, and that they visit regularly– though I have not borne witness to this. Meanwhile, whispers from the demonic realms tell of a strong human champion being sponsored by a prominent Wormfolk family. To say anything beyond this would be pure conjecture.]