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“I’m not talking to him.” Patty growls, crossing her arms and looking away.
“I’m perfectly fine with that…” Dewey mutters, also averting his gaze.
Ned massages the bridge of his nose under his glasses. It’s been months, and Dewey and Patty won’t talk to each other, let alone look at each other. Ever since the whole “pretending to be Ned” thing, Patty has been beyond pissed at Dewey, even months after the incident.
“I don’t even know why he’s still staying with us. He should have found another place by now," Patty continues, her frustration palpable.
Dewey flips her off. Ned is exasperated.
“I don’t understand what your guys’ problems are, but you need to fix them. I can’t stand to see my wife and my best friend hating each other like this,” Ned says. His voice tightens with desperation as he pleads, "Please, for the sake of all of us, can we try to move past this?”
Neither Patty nor Dewey say anything or move.
Ned groans and starts to leave the room. “Why do I bother…”
A door closes down the hall, momentarily silencing the room.
“I guess if this is what Ned wants… I suppose I’ll try to get along with you” Dewey says in an exasperated voice.
Patty twists her blonde hair around her fingers. “Wow, you’re actually thinking of someone other than yourself.”
*Be the bigger person, be the bigger person…*
“Obviously I care about my best friend. All you seem to care about is control…” He can’t help himself.
Patty turns to him. “Oh, I like control, huh? How about we discuss how you pretended to be my husband for a few bucks, huh??”
“Well, I still payed your stupid rent, right? And at least I had a job like you wanted.”
She sighs in frustration. “It’s not about the rent, Dewey, you committed a crime that could have gotten you or Ned put in prison!”
“Since when do you care if I’m sent to prison? You wanted me to find a new place anyway,” Dewey argues.
Patty looks a little embarrassed. “Because Ned would have been begging to bail you out. Not that I would…”
He smirks. “Ooohhh, so you care about me?”
“W-well, I suppose I care about what Ned cares about…”
“You don’t want me in trouble.” He’s having fun with this.
Patty groans and crosses her arms. “Idiot…”
Dewey just looks away and picks up his guitar. He starts to strum a little tune, clearly trying to get on her nerves. Patty rolls her eyes and gets up to leave the room.
“You know what? I’m done trying to talk to you. You do nothing but sleep and play that stupid guitar.”
Still nothing.
Patty continues angrily. “Why don’t you go play for that principal you’re hooking up with? She seems to like it…” She finally storms off.
Ned is sitting in bed reading a book when he hears Patty come in. She’s clearly frustrated.
“No need to explain, Pattycake. I heard the shouting…” He mutters that last part under his breath.
Patty rambles as she changes into her pajamas. “I just don’t understand what his problem is. Do his students deal with it? Does his mother deal with it?? He’s your best friend, Ned, and…” She pauses, swallowing back frustration.
“I don’t want to see you miserable if he gets himself killed for doing something stupid.”
Ned takes that into consideration. Even when they were both stupid teenagers, he still wanted to keep Dewey out of trouble. And he doesn’t want his wife to see him falling apart… and he can’t stand the thought of his two favorite people hating each other’s guts.
“Just try to get some sleep, honey. He’s always been stubborn. He’ll come around.” He kisses her goodnight and turns off the bedside lamp.
For the next hour, Patty lays awake. She can’t sleep. She hates Dewey.
Doesn’t she…?
“Jesus Christ…” she whispers as she gets out of bed. She heads to the living room to talk to Dewey again, but she finds him knocked out on the couch.
He’s curled up on the couch like a puppy. Patty groans as she turns to head back to bed, but she stops.
“You really enjoy screwing with me, huh?”
No reply. Dewey’s soft snores fill the room.
Patty sighs and leaves the room. She soon returns with a soft blanket and gently drapes it over Dewey, making sure he’s covered.
As Patty leaves to go back to bed, Dewey smiles to himself.