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The Fix was going to stop working for Mr Bition today.
He had thought about it, before. Hadn’t ever said anything, though. Not really. The thought had just sort of sat there in his brain. The thought of running away. The thought of telling Mr Bition that he was quitting. The thought of getting out of this life, of doing something else with himself. But there had the kids at the orphanage to worry about, that was where all the money he got from killing went. If he stopped killing- How would The Fix take care of them? He could probably find some sort of way to, but he had held himself back, because, well, this took care of them, and it was the job he already had. But- But this was the limit. The Fix just couldn’t do this anymore. He was tired of this life. He was tired of this job. He was tired of Mr Bition. He was tired of who he was , when Mr Bition was there. He was just plain tired.
The Fix walked up to Mr Bition’s office, and knocked.
“Come in,” Mr Bition said, with a dry voice.
The Fix slunk in, making his shoulders as small as possible to fit through the doorway.
“Hi, sir-” The Fix said, awkwardly.
“Did you finish your most recent assignment?” Mr Bition asked.
“No- no yet,” The Fix admitted. “I- I actually wanted to talk to you about the assignment.”
“Is it too hard for you?” Mr Bition asked, flatly.
“Well, no,” The Fix admitted.
“You’re not sick or anything, are you?” Mr Bition asked.
“No,” The Fix said.
He took a deep breath, steeling himself up to tell Mr Bition that he was done with killing for him-
“Because I don’t want you to be sick,” Mr Bition said, softly. “I don’t want to see you hurt, either.”
“It’s nothing like that,” The Fix promised, swallowing down his words.
“Good, good,” Mr Bition said. He was standing up, now, walking around his desk to be right next to The Fix. His hand just barely touched The Fix’s jacket collar. “I do care about you, Fix. The work that you do.”
“Thank you, sir,” The Fix said.
“And it would be such a pain to find anyone else who could ever do your job as well as you do,” Mr Bition continued. His hand was moving across The Fix’s chest, to his other shoulder, now. “So, if you are sick, I would love to know. I would love to help you.”
“I’m not sick,” The Fix promised. “I- I can do the job, just fine.”
“Nothing’s bothering you?” Mr Bition asked. “I care about you, Fix. I really do.”
How could The Fix say something now ? Mr Bition cared for him. Worried if he was sick. Wanted to make sure he was okay- It was, it was sweet, quite honestly. Sweet in a way that made The Fix pause. Yes, killing didn’t make The Fix feel the best . But it was his job. And a job that needed to be done. A job that Mr Bition needed done. And why would The Fix leave, if Mr Bition was so sweet? He- he could be rough, maybe, sometimes, but he cared, too. That much was clear. The Fix had come here to leave, he had. But- but did he want to, at this point? When Mr Bition was genuinely concerned for the Fix? It really did seem genuine, and- And The Fix found that he didn’t want to disappoint Mr Bition.
“I’m perfectly fine,” The Fix promised.
“And nothing is going to get in the way of you doing your job?” Mr Bition asked.
“And nothing is going to get in the way of doing my job,” The Fix repeated, with a determined nod. “I have a job. And I’m good at my job. And I like doing my job. And I like doing my job for you.”
“Good,” Mr Bition said, with a nod. “That’s good. I’d hate for you to leave.”
“Thank you, Mr Bition,” The Fix said, exhaling dejectedly.
“I really do rely on you, Fix,” Mr Bition continued. “And I appreciate that you’re here.”
The Fix had made the right choice. He- he couldn't leave now. Not when Mr Bition relied on him.
“I can rely on you, can’t I, Fix?” Mr Bition asked.
“Yes, sir,” The Fix promised.
“And, I can rely on the fact that you will complete your newest assignment, can’t I?”
“Yes, sir,” The Fix repeated. “I’ll get it done.”
“Good,” Mr Bition said, suddenly stepping back. He sat back down at his desk. “Good. Off you go then, Fix. Come back when it’s done.”
The Fix blinked, and he was back where he had started.
—
The Fix was going to stop working for Mr Bition today.
He had had that thought before, however. He had walked to Mr Bition’s office inside of City Hall. He had knocked on his door, walked inside, all with the plan to declare that he was leaving. Much like he was planning to leave now. And yet- It hadn’t worked, then. The Fix had backed down. He had been filled with fear. Not fear of Mr Bition, not fear of Mr Bition’s power, not fear of what Mr Bition might do to him if he decided to leave- But fear of disappointing Mr Bition. Hurting him, somehow. And so, the Fix had stayed. And yet, here he was. In the same place, yet again. No time had passed at all. He was just here, once again. Once again ready to knock on Mr Bition’s office door. Once again ready to quit his job. Once again ready to leave Mr Bition.
The Fix walked up to Mr Bition’s office, once again, and knocked.
“Come in,” Mr Bition said.
“Hi, sir,” The Fix said, quickly. “I- I like your hair.”
“What’s wrong?” Mr Bition asked, from where he was sitting at his desk.
“Nothing’s wrong,” The Fix said, quickly. “I-”
“Clearly something’s wrong, if you’re bothering me,” Mr Bition said. “And I can’t have my top fixer off his game, now can I?”
“It’s nothing,” The Fix said, shaking his head. “I’m sorry for bothering you.”
“Oh, you aren’t a bother, Fix,” Mr Bition said. “Besides, this paperwork is dreadfully dull. Sit, sit.”
The Fix, against his better judgement, sat. This felt more like a standing conversation, but-
“Good,” Mr Bition said, a bright smile on his face, when The Fix finally sat down. “I care that you’re comfortable, Fix.”
“Yeah, I- I know that,” The Fix said, even as he sat in the too small chair, across from Mr Bition.
“And I care that you’re able to do your job for me,” Mr Bition continued. “And if you’re bothered, you can tell me. You can always tell me.”
“That’s- that’s what’s bothering me, actually,” The Fix admitted, blurting out the words so he didn’t have time to chicken out.
“What’s bothering you, exactly?” Mr Bition asked.
“The- My job,” The Fix said. “It doesn’t feel right anymore.”
“What does it mean for a job to feel ‘right’?” Mr Bition asked, with a tilted head.
“Well- I- I can’t exactly explain it,” The Fix admitted. “But- I don’t think I want to kill people anymore. Or hurt people. Or-”
“Do you think that my job always feels good?” Mr Bition asked.
“Well- no,” The Fix said, looking down, sullen, at his shoes.
“And yet, I do it anyway,” Mr Bition continued. “Because it’s the right thing to do, for Elias. He doesn’t need happiness, or romance, or any of these other weaknesses. He needs me.”
The Fix nodded, still looking down.
“So, I do what I have to do,” Mr Bition said. “You want to do the right thing too, don’t you, Fix?”
“Well, yes, yes- of course I do,” The Fix stammered out.
“Then do your job,” Mr Bition said. “It doesn’t matter if it feels good. It’s the right thing to do, and you’ll do it, right?”
“Right,” the Fix promised. “Of course, sir.”
“Then go,” Mr Bition said. “And I’ll find you when I need you.”
And then The Fix blinked. He was back where he had started. Again.
—
The Fix was going to stop working for Mr Bition today.
Wait. No. He had definitely had that thought before. He had definitely tried to quit before. Not just once but- but twice. Two times, The Fix had come to this door. And two times, The Fix had failed. He had- he had changed his mind. He had gotten distracted. He had listened to Mr Bition speak, and he had decided that maybe leaving wasn’t the best idea after all. But The Fix’s job was weighing on him. It- it felt wrong. Like an ill fitting coat, which, for The Fix, was every coat he had ever tried on that hadn’t been made specifically for him. He knew that the job he was doing was important but some days, more and more days, recently, The Fix had thought that maybe that important job shouldn’t have been for him. And- and this time, The Fix really was going to leave. He was. He just- he just had to tell Mr Bition that his services were terminated, this time.
The Fix walked up to Mr Bition’s office, confident that this time he would really leave, and knocked.
“Come in,” Mr Bition drawled.
“Hi,” The Fix said, as he walked inside.
“Did you finish the job?” Mr Bition asked.
“Yes,” The Fix said. He had. And that was going to be the last kill he did. Ever. “But-”
“No buts,” Mr Bition said, as he clapped his hands together. “If you finished the job, then that’s all I need to hear.”
“But-” The Fix started, again.
“He is dead, right?” Mr Bition asked.
“Well, yes,” The Fix admitted.
“And everyone who saw, too?” Mr Bition asked.
“No witnesses,” The Fix promised.
“Then I see no issue,” Mr Bition said.
“It isn’t an issue with the job , exactly,” The Fix said. “Or- at least not with this specific job in particular.”
“Then I don’t see it as an issue,” Mr Bition said. He stood up from the desk. “Why don’t we celebrate?”
The Fix paused. “Celebrate?”
“You’ve been with me for a long time, Fix,” Mr Bition drawled, as he walked away from his desk entirely. “And I don’t think I’ve ever shown just how grateful I am to you, for your hard work.”
“Right, yes, my work,” The Fix said. “That’s why I’m here.”
“Oh, do you really want to be talking about your work, right now?” Mr Bition asked.
The Fix didn’t say anything, trying to figure out how to say what he was trying to say-
“Good,” Mr Bition said, even though The Fix hadn’t actually spoken yet. “Why turn down a celebration, right?”
“Right,” The Fix said, meekly.
“Close the door, Fix,” Mr Bition said.
He could have walked out, right then. He should have walked out, right then. Declare that he was leaving, and just walk away. That was what The Fix should have done. That was what The Fix wanted to do, or, at least, what he had wanted to do. He had come into this room with the specific intention of telling Mr Bition that he was done, and then storm out. That was all that The Fix had come inside to do. But- but The Fix was having doubts, now. Just like every time that The Fix stepped foot in this room. He had doubts. Once again, he had doubts. And- And the doubt slithered inside of The Fix’s mind, and took hold. Was it really so bad, working for Mr Bition? Was it really so bad, staying? Would it really be so bad, if- if Mr Bition was celebrating him? The Fix closed the door, and then turned back to Mr Bition.
“What now?” The Fix asked.
“Now, you come sit in my chair,” Mr Bition said.
“What?” The Fix asked, without really meaning to.
“You heard me, Fix,” Mr Bition said. “Go to my desk, and sit in my chair.”
The Fix couldn’t help his furrowed brow, as he stood there awkwardly by the door. “Sir?”
“This is supposed to be a celebration,” Mr Bition said. “But I can’t celebrate you- with you- if you don’t listen to me .”
“Sorry, sir,” The Fix said, shyly. He walked away from the door and sat in Mr Bition’s chair- it was still warm, and only slightly too small.
“Good,” Mr Bition purred, as he stepped into the space between The Fix’s legs. “That’s good, Fix. Just let me take care of you, today.”
“Why?” The Fix asked, the words just tumbling out of his mouth. “I mean-”
“You did a good job, today, Fix,” Mr Bition said, as he knelt down between The Fix’s legs. “You’ve done a good job for me since we’ve started our partnership, Fix. And I think it’s time for me to show you just how much you mean to me.”
The Fix relaxed back into the chair, letting himself relax. How- how could he leave, when Mr Bition was doing this .
“Just let me reward you,” Mr Bition said. And- and then he opened up The Fix’s belt, and-
The Fix didn’t blink, this time. He was too enthralled for that. And yet- He was back where he had started, anyway.
—
The Fix was going to stop working for Mr Bition today.
That was what he told himself, as he paced in front of Mr Bition’s office in City Hall. And- okay, that hadn’t worked, the first few times that he had tried it. The Fix would admit that much. But- here he was, once again in front of Mr Bition’s office, and this time it was going to work. This time The Fix was going to leave. He was going to march in there, and declare that he was done with this job, and done working for Mr Bition, and absolutely done with killing people whatsoever. He was going to say it so quickly and so decisively that Mr Bition was going to have to listen to The Fix, and let him leave. Yes, The Fix decided, that was exactly what was going to happen. He was going to tell Mr Bition exactly what was going to happen, and then he was going to leave before Mr Bition could do anything about it. Yes. It was going to work. This time it was going to work.
The Fix walked up to Mr Bition’s office, more determined than he had ever been before, and knocked.
“Ah, Fix,” Mr Bition said, without even having to hear who it was. “Come in.”
“Hi, sir,” The Fix said, as he walked inside. “Hi-”
“What is it this time?” Mr Bition asked.
The Fix paused. “What?”
“You’ve been coming to my office,” Mr Bition said, shaking his head. “More and more often, these days. After I give you a new target, you come here. Before you kill them- after you kill them- either way, you end up here.”
“I-” The Fix started, and then stopped again. “I’m sorry, sir.”
“I do have other things to do then, then attend to your feelings,” Mr Bition said. “And while I do enjoy rewarding you, that’s not my job, either.”
“I know that,” The Fix said.
“Then why are you here?” Mr Bition asked. “Again.”
“I-” The Fix started, “I came here to talk to you.”
“As you have, every other time,” Mr Bition said, with a sigh.
“I don’t think I- I don’t think that me working for you is the best fit,” The Fix finally said.
“Nonsense,” Mr Bition said. “You’re good at your job.”
“I- I know that I’m good at it,” The Fix said. “And I know that what I’m doing is important. But- but I just don’t think I can do it, any longer.”
“That hurts,” Mr Bition- no- Mark - said, looking down at his desk. “That really hurts, Fix.”
“I’m sorry,” The Fix said. “But-”
“I’ve given you a job,” Mark continued, cutting The Fix off. “I’ve let you walk into my office, interrupting my work. I’ve let you into my home .”
“I know,” The Fix said. “And I’m- I’m thankful for that.”
“This is how you thank me?” Mark asked. “You thank me by rejecting everything that we’ve worked so hard to achieve, together?”
The Fix paused at that word, ‘together’. Did- Did Mark really think of them as a team ?
“I thought you cared about what we were doing,” Mark continued. “I thought you cared about us .”
“I- I do-” The Fix stammered out.
“And, yet, here you are,” Mark said. “Standing in my office, saying that you want to leave.”
“That’s- that’s not what I’m saying,” The Fix said, quickly backpedalling. “I was just saying that- that the specific job I’m doing-”
“That’s an important job, Fix,” Mark said. “A job that I can only give to somebody that I can truly trust.”
The Fix paused again.
“And I trusted you with this job,” Mark continued. “Or- At least, I thought I could trust you with this job.”
“You- you can,” The Fix stuttered out. “You can trust me, sir.”
“You say that,” Mark said, shaking his head. “And yet, you come here, again and again, saying that you can’t do this job anymore. And- and I’m scared, Fix. What am I supposed to do with you? Or- not, what would I do without you ?”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” The Fix managed to say. “That’s- that’s what this is about. I don’t want to hurt anyone .”
“There are things we must do, for the greater good of Elias’ brain, Fix,” Mark said. “You know that, don’t you?”
“I do know that,” The Fix said. “But-”
“But you don’t think helping me do the right thing is worth hurting your feelings, a little bit?” Mark asked.
The Fix sighed. “It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?” Mark asked, tilting his head.
“It’s- it’s just something I’m trying to work through,” The Fix said, softly. “I’m sorry, sir.”
“I understand,” Mark said, his voice a touch softer now. “I’m sorry for how I spoke. But I cannot lose you, Fix. I just can’t.”
“I’m sorry, Mark,” The Fix said, again. “I- I’m not leaving you. And I’m not going to do anything to hurt you. I promise.”
“Good,” Mark said, as he let out a deep breath. “I’m very glad to hear that.”
He straightened up, as the emotion washed away from him.
“Now,” Mr Bition continued. “Did you finish your target, or not?”
“I did,” The Fix admitted. It had been his last kill. Or- it was going to be his last kill, at the very least.
“Here’s your next assignment,” Mr Bition said, placing a folder in The Fix’s large hands. “Dispatch of him for me, will you?”
“Yes, sir,” The Fix said, even as it felt like his heart was sinking.
The Fix blinked, slowly, this time. Disappointed in himself, more than anything. And he was back where he had started. Once again.
—
The Fix was going to stop working for Mr Bition today.
He was going to succeed this time. Even- even if the other times had failed, that wasn’t going to be the case. The Fix was going to leave. He was! He- Oh, who was he kidding? The Fix was trapped in this cycle. He would want to leave, and he would work up the courage to talk to Mr Bition about it- And then all that courage would disappear, as soon as he walked into the room. Or, no, not as soon as he walked into the room. It was as soon as Mr Bition started talking, that was when The Fix lost all his courage. He was determined to leave, this time, but he had been determined to leave all of those times, too. So what made this time any different? The Fix didn’t think there was anything that made it different, this time. It was going to end the exact same way as it always did. But, still-
Still, The Fix walked up to Mr Bition’s office, took a deep breath, and knocked.
“Mr Bition?” The Fix asked. “Can I come in?”
“Yes,” Mr Bition called out.
The Fix opened in the door, shutting it behind him. “Hi.”
“Hello,” Mr Bition said, slowly.
“I like your hair,” The Fix said. He didn’t know why he said it, exactly-
“Even when it’s been ruined by the rain?” Mr Bition asked.
The Fix shrugged. “Even wet hair can be nice hair. Did you know-”
“Did you kill him?” Mr Bition asked.
The Fix nodded. “No proof, this time.”
“Lots of the people you’ve been killing haven’t had proof, lately,” Mr Bition said, humming.
“That’s just how these things go, sometimes,” The Fix said. “Sometimes they die in a puff, taking everything with them. And sometimes they leave something behind.”
“Still, it seems like a pretty large coincidence,” Mr Bition said. He drummed his fingers on his desk. “You’re certain that every target I gave you is dead?”
“Yes,” The Fix said. He- he had thought about lying, about letting people go. But he hadn’t . He had just thought about it. “They’re all dead.”
“And you’re not lying?” Mr Bition asked, with a raised eyebrow.
“I wouldn’t lie to you, sir,” The Fix said.
“I thought that,” Mr Bition said, shaking his head. “I really thought that was true.”
“It is true, sir,” The Fix said. “I’m here to do my job, I promise you that.”
“You’ve made a lot of promises, Fix,” Mr Bition said. He clicked his tongue. “You promised you would stop bothering me in my office. You promised you would listen to me. You promised you would kill everyone I asked you to-”
“And I do!” The Fix cried out. “I- I am loyal to you, Mr Bition. I am.”
“Fine,” Mr Bition said, shaking his head. “Why did you come here, then?”
“Just to tell you that I eliminated the target,” The Fix said.
“No more doubts?” Mr Bition asked.
“No more doubts,” The Fix said.
He- he wasn’t sure if it was a lie or not, but- But he wasn’t going to let those doubts get in the way of his work, so- It didn’t really matter, did it? No. It didn’t matter. So- it wasn’t a lie. Not much of a lie, anyway. All that mattered was that The Fix kept working for Mr Bition. And that’s what would keep happening, over and over again. The Fix knew that much. No matter how he doubted- Mr Bition would set him right. If he asked to leave, he would want to stay, and if he ran, Mr Bition would find him, and if he was given a target he didn’t want to kill, he would find it in him to kill them, anyway. That much had been proven to The Fix, at this point. And so, the doubts- the doubts that The Fix always had, again and again, more and more- they didn’t matter. They just didn’t matter. Because The Fix would always come back. So- It wasn’t much of a lie, was it? Not really. Not- Yeah, The Fix told himself. Not a lie.
“No doubts at all,” The Fix continued.
“Good,” Mr Bition said. “That’s good.”
“Do you have another assignment for me?” The Fix asked.
Mr Bition nodded. “I do, actually. It’s a small job, perfect to help your clear your doubts-”
“I don’t have any doubts,” The Fix said, cutting off Mr Bition.
“Don’t interrupt me,” Mr Bition hissed, suddenly far too close to The Fix. “Not when you’re already on thin ice.”
“Sorry, sir,” The Fix said.
“Good,” Mr Bition said, straightening out once again, as calm as anything. “Now, here’s your target. Just an urge that’s popped up- a little intrusive thought, nothing major. But I need you to take him out.”
“Yes sir,” The Fix said, with a nod. “Of course.”
“Good,” Mr Bition said. “Don’t disappoint me, Fix.”
The Fix blinked. And he was back where he had started. Back where he would always be. Back in the hands of Mark Bition, one conversation away from freedom.