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The library at Sybak University was long past closed, the heavy oak doors locked to all but the most determined of scholars– and Raine Sage had never let a lock stop her before.
The only light came from a scattered line of desk lamps, casting soft yellow halos over her cluttered workspace. Open books lay fanned across the table, most of which had their margins scribbled with notes in three different inks. Her thick notebook was nearly full, each page crammed with tiny, meticulous handwriting. A half-dozen empty coffee cups flanked her like sentinels, and a fresh one– still steaming– sat dangerously close to a stack of archival texts.
Her glasses had slipped halfway down her nose, but she was far too busy to notice. There was ink on her fingers, her wrist, and probably somewhere on her face too. She didn’t care. The thesis was going well. Or… as well as something this complex could go, which was to say: not fast enough, not clean enough, and not without its fair share of panic.
She reached for another book, an old volume on ethics and moral violations in strategic warfare with a particular focus on the Kharlan War, and muttered something under her breath when it wobbled, nearly falling off the edge of the pile.
This wasn’t exhaustion. This was survival.
She didn’t hear the door open. Didn’t notice the soft scuff of shoes crossing the marble floor. The only people who wandered into the library at this hour were the ones on the verge of academic collapse– and frankly, that was none of her business.
It wasn’t until someone leaned in close– far too close – and murmured directly into her ear, “Still burning the midnight oil at both ends, huh?” that she realized she wasn’t alone.
She didn’t look up.
Of course it would be him. No one else could butcher such a simple idiom.
There was a part of her, one currently buried beneath layers of focus and caffeine, that had imagined this might happen, but that certainly didn’t make her any more prepared.
“You’re trespassing,” she said flatly, scribbling another half-line into her notebook.
“And you’re still studying like the fate of the world depends on it,” Zelos murmured, the smile audible in his voice. “Glad to see some things never change.”
She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, smudging more ink across her cheek in the process. “Some of us have theses to finish, unlike dropouts who gave up half-way through their program.”
He hummed, casually ignoring the bait, like they were just two old classmates bumping into each other at a café and not two people with years of unresolved tension hanging between them.
“I heard your research got nominated for the Excellence Grant. That’s pretty cool, huh?”
“You must’ve been eavesdropping.”
He leaned a little closer, his cheek brushing lightly against hers. “Have you forgotten that you used to write me long-winded letters about your academic goals and achievements?”
She stiffened. Just slightly. “You didn’t read them.”
“I did. Every single one.”
That, more than anything, made her finally glance up.
His face was too close, his eyes too familiar. He hadn’t changed much since she’d last seen him. A little older maybe, and a little more tired, but the smirk was the same, and so was that smug tilt of his head. The worst part was how easily it all came back.
Raine snapped her notebook shut before he could start commenting on her notes like he always used to do. “If you came here to dredge up nostalgia, don’t. I’ve already done the work of moving on.”
Zelos blinked, clearly caught off guard, but only for a moment. He straightened, hands sliding into his coat pockets. “You’re still sharp as hell. I respect that.”
“Respect wasn’t exactly your strong suit, as I recall.”
“You’re still mad.” There was a note of disbelief in his voice, like he thought time might’ve erased it.
She stood up abruptly, clutching a stack of books to her chest. “You disappeared on me. I poured my heart into a confession, and you vanished. You don’t get to act surprised that I’m not thrilled to see you.”
“I never meant to hurt you,” he admitted. “You should know that.”
“Intentions don’t erase consequences.”
Turning on her heel, she stalked toward the bookcases, not even bothering to check if he was following– she knew he would even if she didn’t want him to. With more force than necessary, she began shoving the tomes back into their respective spots, pausing only momentarily when she came across a particularly hefty hardcover. That could be a suitable bludgeon , she thought. How tempting. Though… It could get a bit messy.
Zelos kept talking behind her, his voice drifting through the quiet like background noise. She couldn’t make out half of it– it was probably some self-deprecating quip or nostalgic nonsense anyway– but she wasn’t really listening in the first place. Her eyes scanned titles while her brain ran through catalog numbers like a machine. If she just focused hard enough, perhaps she could block him out entirely. Or, even better: he might get the hint to leave her alone.
The moment she spotted the section she needed, Raine turned and strode toward the back shelves, heels clicking softly across the floor. As predicted, Zelos fell into step behind her like a shadow she couldn’t shake.
Tall, narrow rows of books towered overhead, cloaking the aisle in quiet gloom. Despite the lack of light, her hand skimmed the spines with practiced ease, fingers pausing at the faded title she’d come for within seconds.
“Y’know,” Zelos said, pensive, “I always thought it would be you.”
She stilled, gripping the book to the point of pain. Slowly, she turned to look at him. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t say things like that,” she replied, her voice sharper than before. “Not when you’re the one who left. You don’t get to show up years later and pretend like none of that happened.”
He frowned, the words hitting harder than he expected. “I’m not pretending.”
“Could’ve fooled me.” She pulled the book off the shelf and hugged it to her chest like armor. “After everything we’d been through, after I told you how I felt, you up and left. No letters. No sign of life. Nothing.”
“Like I said, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Well, you did anyway.” Her voice cracked just slightly on the last word, and she looked away, blinking hard.
He stepped closer, his arms outstretched as if to grab her, “I got scared, okay? I didn’t know what to do with any of it. I didn’t think I deserved you, and I sure as hell didn’t think I could be who you needed.”
“Then you should’ve said that instead of leaving me wondering what I did wrong.”
“I think about you all the time,” he confessed after a moment’s reflection. “I know that doesn’t fix anything, but it’s true that I never stopped wondering about you.”
She let out a hollow laugh, turning to slide the book back into place instead of keeping it. There was no way she could focus on studying anymore tonight, not after all this, so she’d just come back for it in the morning. “Why are you really here, Zelos? Is it closure that you want, or a second chance? Or are you just so bored that you want to try poking at old scars to see if they still bleed?”
“That’s not fair.”
“No? Sorry, I don’t care.” She stepped past him, but he caught her wrist, stopping her roughly in her tracks.
“I know I hurt you. I hate that I did. But if I could go back, if I could undo any of it–”
“You can’t,” she snapped. Her eyes shone with something raw and unshed. “You can’t undo what it felt like to be nineteen and lovestruck and stupid enough to think that your crush might feel the same way. And you definitely can’t undo how it felt to watch you walk away like none of it ever mattered.”
Zelos didn’t respond. He could only stare at her– at the messy silver bun slipping out of place, the pen smudges on her skin, the pain she’d hidden behind sharp words and academic walls.
And then he kissed her.
Hard. Desperate. Like he was trying to speak all the words he hadn’t known how to say back then. One hand tangled in her hair, the other wrapping around her waist to pull her closer.
Raine froze.
Her brain screamed at her to push him off, to slap him, to walk away. Anything . But her heart didn’t move. It ached, deep and familiar and stupid. His scent. His warmth. The way he kissed like the world might end. It wasn’t fair how much of her still wanted it.
Don’t forget, he left you , a voice rang out in her mind, and it was enough to break the spell she’d fallen under.
Her hands were instantly at his chest, shoving, breaking the contact with a gasp that was more a sob than a sound of shock. Her eyes were wide, furious and shining with angry tears. “What the hell was that?!”
“I–I’m sorry,” Zelos breathed, but even he wasn’t sure if he meant it.
“You don’t get to come back and play with my feelings like this,” she snapped. “You don’t get to make me feel like that again just to walk away when it stops being fun!”
“I’m not playing,” he said, but it came out ragged, uneven. “I swear to you–”
“Then prove it,” she said. “Because right now, all I see is someone who only shows up when it’s convenient for him.”
He didn’t move. For once, he didn’t have some clever comeback waiting, no disarming joke or flirtatious line to sidestep her words. He could only stand there, eyes locked on hers, as he tried to find a way to gain forgiveness.
“Raine, I–” he sighed, “I don’t have a good excuse for what I did. I was a coward. I messed up.”
She turned away, blinking her tears into inexistence, as if she could file this moment away like another footnote– another thing to analyze and pack neatly into an essay she’d never write.
“I didn’t come here to mess with you, I came because I heard you were still here. And I realized that if I didn’t see you again… I’d regret it.”
“You’re too late.”
“Maybe.” There was a faint tremble to his voice despite the conviction with which he spoke. “But I am still here, aren’t I?”
Silence fell again, thicker than before. Raine couldn’t force herself to look at him, no matter how much she tried. Her arms were crossed tightly against her chest, nails digging into the fabric of her uniform blazer.
Zelos reached out tentatively to gently touch her arm, and to his surprise, she didn’t pull away. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, but you should know… Even after dropping out and moving away, I never stopped thinking about you. Not once. Even when I tried to.”
Slowly, he turned her to face him, and the sight nearly shattered his heart. Her eyes were red around the edges. She looked exhausted– beautiful as always and definitely angry– but so incredibly spent. How had he not noticed sooner? He used to be the only one who could get her to rest, dragging her away from the library and study halls and coaxing her into sleep with dumb jokes and quiet humming. Now, looking at her, he wondered if she’d been sleeping at all in his absence.
Tentatively, he took her by the chin and forced her to meet his gaze straight on. For the first time that night, she didn’t try to fight back, allowing herself instead to get lost in his broken, remorseful look– so wide open she almost couldn’t bear it.
She hated how much she still wanted to believe him. Hated how the memory of his voice, his touch, and his laughter had never really faded. How, even now, a part of her was aching for him to be telling the truth.
And maybe that was why, just this once, she let her heart take over.
Before he could say another word, she grabbed the front of his shirt, yanking him down to her level, and kissed him.
Not softly.
Not cautiously.
But with years of frustration and heartbreak and longing behind it. Her lips crashed against his, fierce and unrelenting, and when he froze in surprise, she only pulled him closer, like she dared him to flinch.
Zelos melted into it with a sound that was much too enthusiastic to be apologetic. His hands found her waist, then her back, then her hips, grabbing onto her in any way he could, like he was afraid she might vanish if he let go.
She didn’t. If anything, she pressed closer.
The shelves around them groaned faintly as her back hit the bookcase, but neither of them noticed. Her hands tangled in his hair. His mouth hungered for hers again and again, trying to memorize something he hadn’t let himself believe he could have.
When they finally broke apart, breathless and still wrapped in each other’s arms, Raine kept her eyes closed for a second longer than necessary as the realization of what had just happened washed over her. “That took you long enough.”
Zelos rested his forehead against hers. “You have no idea how much I regret waiting.”
“Then don’t make the same mistake twice.”