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“You didn’t want to save me?” the words come out quiet, disbelieving, and Stan winces.
It isn’t something he’s proud of and frankly he hoped Ford would never find out about it. But as per friggin’ usual, his mouth ran away from him. Their fights tended to do that. They don’t fight anywhere near as much as they used to, but every now and then…
This particular argument got pretty heated pretty quickly and it circled back to Weirdmageddon, Bill, and the portal. Those three topics tend to be at the heart of every argument they have – the broken project and Stan being ejected from their childhood home always following close behind. But this time – well, this time Stan blurted out how he hadn’t even wanted save Ford from the Fearamid. How it was the kids and the others who pushed for it, and this revelation appears to leave Ford gutted.
The stab of guilt is hot and unwelcome. Stan scowls, “No, it – it wasn’t quite like that.”
“That’s not what you just said! Your exact words were that I was a jerk who had what was coming to me! That you were less than thrilled at the prospect of coming to my rescue!”
“Can you blame me?” Stan snaps, ire back up and raring to go, “I’ve saved you more than once, Sixer! I saved you from the portal! Sacrifice thirty years of my life and I damn near had to drag a thank you outta your mouth!”
“Why should I thank you?” Ford bellows, “Don’t you get it, Stanley? Don’t you understand what you could have done?! How it was a completely reckless and foolish thing to-!”
“I did it, ‘cause I loved you! You selfish, arrogant, stupid, son of a-!” Stan chokes off abruptly at the expression on Ford’s face, as what he’s just shouted catches back up with him, ringing in his ears.
Oh, shit.
Shit, shit, shit, shiiiiiiiiiiiiit…
“L-l-loved?” Ford stumbles over the word, “You…loved me?”
Stan says nothing. He looks down, fists balled tight, face flaming hot. He feels like the tips of his ears are on fire, apples of his cheeks roasting as Ford whispers, “Naturally you…you mean as-as siblings?”
He knows this is his out. He knows he should take it. But here’s the thing – Stan is old. He’s old and tired and hell, how much time does he have left anyways? So, he reaches beneath his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose, grumbling darkly, “I mean as in hearts and roses, Stanford. Butterflies in my stomach, blood pressure spikin’, goo goo eyes – the whole nine fuckin’ yards!”
Ford is eerily quiet and Stan lets out a hefty breath. He’s fucked up before, but this fuck up has to take the cake. He’s just admitted to his twin that he’s a pervy, incestuous piece of shit. Surely this will be the end to their tentative partnership. Ford will probably pull the boat into the nearest harbor and tell Stan to fuck off. Hell, he might not even wait for shore – he might pull out one of his fancy nerd laser guns and-
“Loved though,” Ford murmurs, voice so unsure, so small, “Not…not love?”
This causes Stan to look up and he sees that Ford is avoiding his gaze just as much as Stan’s been avoiding his. And Ford is also…pink. His face flushed, “You used the word in the past tense. You said ‘loved’, which would imply that you…that you’re no longer…”
“You wanna know if I’m still in love with you?” Stan asks, stunned, and Ford’s eyes snap up to his and Ford…he looks so damned earnest, so hopeful. But also oh, so very afraid. Since returning from portal sci-fi land or whatever, Stan’s rarely seen Ford look scared. But right now? Right now, he looks down right terrified.
Still, Stan knows he has to approach this with caution. He has to play this as smoothly as he’d play a round of poker, stakes high, his gambler’s mask firmly in place so as to give away nothing, “What if I am?”
Ford visibly swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing and it’s so quiet you could probably hear a pin drop if you listened for it. Finally the older twin breathes, “If you are, I…I would…”
He licks his lips, looks down at his hands, plays idly with his extra fingers, “I…would return the sentiment.”
Stan’s heart leaps into his throat. No, scratch that! It would be better to say it’s leapt right out of his body. It’s punched its way out of his chest and is screaming, running around in tight circles. His heart’s grown little arms that flail about as fireworks shoot off everywhere around him, circling the cabin and his head and both of them, because Ford is saying – he’s saying-!
Stan can’t even finish the thought, he’s so overcome, and Ford clearly misreads it, his skin deepening to a bright red, “My apologies if this is awkward for you and you no longer reciprocate my-”
The sound of Stan’s feet is damn near deafening as he marches over to Ford and takes his face in his hands, as he locks their lips together. It’s a little awkward at first, Stan’s actions so rough. But…it’s beenyears. Decades. A goddamn eternity. Stan’s not waiting another second. He’s earned this. He’s earned this kiss, earned this love and he’s damn well going to take it!
He angles his head, licks at Ford’s lips and they part. A guttural groan escapes him as his tongue delves deep inside the warm cavern of Ford’s mouth. He yields so quickly, kisses back just as desperately, just as passionately, six fingered hands clutching at the back of Stan’s jacket, rising up and knocking off his beanie to knot in his gray hair.
A long dormant dragon awakens deep within Stanley, roars with triumph as it soars around his insides. He feels powerful, invincible. He’s never felt this fan-fuckin’-tastic in all his sixty plus years. He’s finally,finally, sweet Jesus Christ – thank you! – kissing the man he loves. And it’s just as glorious as he always imagined it would be. Hell, it’s better. Nothing is this good, and he actually feels a stirring below his belt. Huh. It’s been a long, LONG time since that’s happened.
He draws back and rubs his forehead against Ford’s as he catches his breath. He huffs out a dry laugh, “Need a sec…can’t make out like I used ta.”
“Hmm, you’re doing a fine job,” Ford confesses, “I’ve…I’ve never been kissed quite like that.”
“Quite like what?”
“So, uh, ardently?”
“Really? You shoulda been – it’s the best way to shut you up.”
This gets an eye roll and a quick ‘shut up’, but it’s almost immediately followed with a shy, “I…never wanted anyone to. Kiss me, I mean.”
This revelation gives Stan a rush of pure pleasure, a monumental boost to his pride, “And now?”
“And now I…I only want you to.”
Stan thought he was happy before. Clearly, he was wrong. Now he’s so happy he’s not quite sure he hasn’t died. That this isn’t heaven. As if to prove it to himself, he kisses Ford again. No – this is real, alright. Real and sweet. Fuck, Ford tastes so sweet and Stan moans, his tongue sliding slickly along his twin’s, really exploring him and Ford hums, drags him closer and their bodies are perfectly entwined and the earlier life that had risen beneath Stan’s belt is now more – ah, insistent.
So much so, that Ford draws away from the kiss this time, eyes wide because, well, there’s really no way he can’t feel Stan’s arousal, their bodies intimately close. And Stan can feel that he’s not alone, a coy look taking him, eyebrows waggling, “What’s that you got there, Sixer?”
“N-nothing,” Ford mumbles bashfully but Stan just keeps looking smug, “Don’t feel like nothing. Feels like,” he rolls his hips forward and Ford curses under his breath at the contact, “Oh…I’d say a little over six inches? Maybe more, which, if that’s true, I gotta say – I’m impressed. Means it’s not just your brains that are above average.”
“I’ve changed my mind, I hate you,” Ford grouses, clearly embarrassed, but Stan just chuckles, kissing him again before saying, “Look, Ford…it’s true. I’ll admit it. Initially, I didn’t want to save you. But you gotta know – it wouldn’t have stayed that way. I mean, I may talk a lot of shit sometimes…”
“Oh really?” Ford snorts, but Stan presses on like he wasn’t interrupted, “But you know family’s the most important thing to me. And you…you’re more than family. You’re the love of my life and at the end of the day…I’m always going to save you.”
Ford looks moved, “Really?”
“Yeah. ‘Sides, you seem to always need a hero. Might as well be me that fills the role.”
“You’re saying I never save you?” Ford argues and Stan shakes his head, “No, see…that’s just the thing. You saved me first. You saved me the very moment I realized I was in love with you, And that was a long time ago.”
“Yeah?”
Stan nods, “Yup.”
“When was that exactly?”
“Secrets for another time,” Stan whispers against his lips, “For now…”
They resume kissing, both thinking about how lucky they are to have their hero in their arms.