Chapter Text
A Cover of The Neighbourhood’s song ‘Sweater Weather’ :)
Moonsguitar
1.2K subscribers
573 Comments
@hotterbrother • 2 hours ago
10/10 would totally bang that sexy ass… guitar. only if the other sexy ass allows it, of course ;)
@moons • 12 min ago
Understandable, I would also bang my guitar ☺️ I could ask her if she's into threesomes?
@hotterbrother • 10 min ago
her? well nvm then, i'm afraid i'm only into he's 😔
@moons • 5 min ago
Also understandable, I'll change my schedule and bring threesome down to two
And just like that, Sirius was in love.
@hotterbrother • 3 min ago
you go do that mr mystery moon 😘🌙
@moons • 3 min ago
Well now that's just a mouthful
@hotterbrother • 2 min ago
i’m sure you are ;) fitting?
@moons • 1 min ago
Very
_________________________
Sirius is carefully crafting his next reply using a mix of reddit tips, chatgpt and his goldfish’s advice (she opens her mouth once for yes, twice for no, it’s worked out well so far), when a notification on his work email pops up, obstructing his view of this gorgeous man’s gorgeous hands holding his gorgeous guitar under his gorgeous neck–
Gmail • [email protected] • 1m
fruitloopsemployee075275
Subject: Tomorrow’s shift :D
Hello Sirius! We’ve b…
He rolls his eyes and taps on it.
Subject: Tomorrow’s shift :D
fruitloopsemployee075275 2m
to siriuslycoolemployee075276
Hello, Sirius! We’ve been partnered together on shifts for the next few months again (fun!), due to some shuffling caused by Dearborn being fired. Pandora wanted me to pass the message onto you, and also that this might be the case until further notice (I already can’t wait!). She couldn’t tell you herself seeing as you weren’t there (I think you set an alarm and forgot to actually turn it on again? Not sure, I might be misremembering 😊). Also, we will be working on aisle 6 from tomorrow onwards. Just thought I’d mention that too so that when you do arrive over an hour late tomorrow, at least you know where to go :D
See you tomorrow. (🎉🎉🎉)
_________________________
Sirius clenches his jaw, his teeth grinding harder with every sarcasm–laced exclamation mark. Oh, this guy– Sirius could murder this guy. Not waiting for Goldie the Fish’s opinions, he furiously taps out a reply and hits send without rereading.
Subject: Tomorrow’s shift :D
siriuslycoolemployee075276 1m
to fruitloopsemployee075275
Hi! I’m so delighted, over the moon really, that we have once again been partnered together! It’ll be my greatest pleasure listening to you humming constantly during our shifts again (I once mistook you for a mosquito :D (although I wasn’t that far off) (only joking 🤗)) The other day, I was actually late because my fish had an emergency vet visit :D Poor thing got some life-threatening disease and would’ve died if I hadn’t noticed. She’s always been there for me, too, so it was a very stressful experience. (But yes, it’s quite amusing, do joke about it 😊). I hope Caradoc knows just how brilliant things have turned out from him being sacked!!!!! Oh, and thank you for the kind reminder of the changes :) I can prepare myself to face you in advance now, you’re so thoughtful!!
Can’t wait to work together (again) tomorrow. (🥳🥳🥳) (!!!)
_________________________
After a few minutes of boiling and stewing in his rage, and then aggressively eating another spoonful from his tub of ice cream, he glances at Goldie, who opens her mouth once dutifully.
“I don’t know Fishiekins, I should’ve been harsher.”
Goldie opens her mouth twice.
“Why the fuck not?! The git thinks he can say whatever to me without any etiquette whatsoever! It’s infuriating.”
Once.
“See, you get it! But apparently Pandora doesn’t. Now I’m stuck with that wanker for… forever!”
Goldie gives him an unimpressed look, opens her mouth once in agreement, and does a little loop in her tank. Sirius frowns.
“Technically it’s just until one of us resigns,” Sirius grumbles.
Goldie seems to disagree, opening her mouth twice and staring at Sirius intensely.
“As thrilling as it sounds to be stuck with him forever, I don’t see how that’d ever happen Goldilocks.”
Sirius is sure he imagines it, but Goldie scoffs, rolls her eyes, and then ducks into her little cave as if she can’t deal with Sirius anymore. Crazy ass fish.
He turns his attention back to his phone, closes the Gmail app with a scowl, and goes back to replaying his new favourite video.
“All I am… Is a man…”
That I am, he thinks.
“James! Have you watched it yet?!”
James heaves a sigh from the other end of the phone. “No, Pads, I'm afraid in between taking care of a toddler, and work, and my beautiful wife, it tragically slipped my mind to watch ‘the guy with a hot ass guitar’ video. My mistake.”
“It is your mistake,” Sirius agrees, shifting his phone to the other hand as he taps his card and makes his way to the back of the bus. “It's only four minutes long!”
A horrid screech sounds on the other end of the line, and the old lady next to Sirius flinches. “Harry, no, stop–! No, no, no, not the hair!”
“I thought you liked your hair messy?” Sirius teases.
After what sounds like a mini wrestling match, James comes back to the phone. “Right, sorry, I’m back.”
Sirius laughs. “He still pulling at your hair?”
“And my clothes, and screaming, and throwing, and biting,” James grumbles. “And then suddenly he plonks down, looks up at me with those puppy dog eyes and goes ‘can u tell me the story about the dog and the deer again papa?’ I’m so lost Sirius, he's either a menace or an angel- no in between- I don’t know what I’m doing, all I know is that I love him.”
“Well, then you’re already a better dad than mine,” Sirius points out with another laugh.
“Well, no offense Pads, but I sure fucking hope so.”
“FUGKING!” Harry squeals in the background. Sirius, with a barely contained grin, listens to James panic and try to quiet his three year old, and fail, miserably.
Lily’s voice follows from the distance. “James, you ass! He’s three!”
“ASS!” Harry squeals without missing a beat. Several people on the bus turn to glance at Sirius with a bewildered look. Sirius would turn down his volume if he wasn't so busy laughing.
Lily and James go dead quiet, then James starts laughing. Sirius can imagine Lily dragging a hand down her face as she mumbles, “Shit.”
“SHI!”
“NO!” they yelp at the same time. The old woman mutters a dazed “Oh deary me” under her breath. The bus jolts a little as it pauses two stops before Sirius’s. A few minutes later, with Lily having dragged Harry to the bath, James returns breathlessly.
“I’m back, I’m back,” he pants out weakly.
Sirius is still laughing as he replies, “You forgot wanker, bastard, asshole–”
“He’s had enough of hearing about ass today, Sirius! I’ve had enough of hearing about ass!”
“Well, if it’s any consolation, you won’t hear the word ass after four minutes.”
James makes an inquisitive noise. “Four minutes? Wh– Oh, for god’s sake. Fine- fine! Let me put in on.”
Sirius listens as James fumbles for a bit, then the first few seconds Sirius has memorised begin playing.
“Hi! Uh, what do I say? Well, my friend is forcing me to do this, because apparently I’m ‘fucking brilliant at singing’.” Sirius closes his eyes and the frames of the video play in his head, the way the man’s fingers curved into air quotes, before returning to his guitar. “Well, um, if you agree, leave a like and a comment? If you don’t… um, well, I don’t know. Anyways, I– Oh, I should probably tell you what I’m… Yeah, this is my cover of Sweater Weather, by the Neighbourhood.”
“Pads this guy is a mess! It’s kind of adorable, actually, I see where you’re coming from. But hot–?”
“Shh shh shh, just listen, Prongs.” The first few notes thrum, not nearly as pretty over the phone, but pretty enough that Sirius sighs, leaning back in his seat. The man’s voice, only seconds ago a stuttering mess, rolls out a red carpet and smoothly slides right into Sirius’s ears, proceeding to sink deep into the flesh of his brain like it belongs there.
“All I am… is a man…”
"HOLY FUCK."
Deep, soothing, melting honey. Sirius closes his eyes again, and he can see those fingers, plucking at the strings of the sticker-covered hot pink guitar. And then–
“Cos it’s too cold… for you here…”
The notes! The gentleness! Sirius could moan. The man hits every single note perfectly, his voice becoming a soft, almost whispering sound as the pitch goes up, before sinking back down to its knees as the pitch lowers. Never missing a beat, the man goes through the whole song, and then, whether on purpose or not, he lets that beauty sink into the viewers’ memory, before he lets out a breathless little laugh. “Well, I hope you liked it! If you did– oh I already said that. Well it goes without saying that I really would appreciate any comments or likes, so. Yeah, um. Thank you for watching! See you again. Hopefully.” And the video goes black.
Sirius’s eyes are still closed, when James exclaims, “Holy shit, that was hot! Sirius I mean, that is a hot man right there. Holy shit.”
Sirius snaps his eyes open. “I know! Hot, cute, and good at singing. There’s a reason he’s blowing up over just one video.”
“Hm? Oh, yeah totally,” James agrees through a mouthful of something. “Sorry I’m just reading the comment sectio– Oh my god! Sirius, you guys have a whole thread?!”
“Mhmm,” Sirius says dreamily. “He’s so funny Prongs. And cute. And hot.”
“I can see that,” James says with a snort, probably still scrolling. “Oh, well now he’s just asking you to fuck him. Pads if you don’t take him up on his offer, I will.”
“What about Lils?!”
“What do you mean?” James asks in the most genuine tone Sirius heard him talk in. “She’d be there too.”
Sirius blinks. “That raises so many questions.”
Only he doesn’t get to ask any of them, because when the bus stops, Sirius looks up only to see ‘Barnham road’.
“Holy shit! I missed my stop!” Sirius presses the stop button frantically as he clambers over the old woman who refuses to shift her legs, and rushes out. He checks his watch– 8:57! He’s got three minutes to make what’s probably a 15 minute walk. “Fuck, I’m gonna be so late,” he groans. James is heard laughing, and Sirius sighs, cutting the call and beginning to speed-walk in what’s probably the right direction… to Tesco.
Sirius bursts through the doors of the bustling supermarket, sweaty, flushed, and checking if his hair looks even a bit presentable through his pocket mirror.
“Black, you’re late!” the team leader barks. “Move it! You’re on Aisle 6 with Lupin today.” So he didn’t imagine the nightmarish emails, he thinks. He’d hoped it was his midnight imagination and in the morning, refused to check the app to see for himself.
“Sorry!” he pants out, dropping his bag in the designated area. “Won’t happen again, Ms Lovegood!”
“I’m sure,” the woman grumbles, checking her clipboard again and rushing off towards a counter.
You’re probably thinking: what the ever-loving fuck is Sirius Orion Black doing at Tesco?!
The aforementioned Sirius Orion Black wonders this everyday. But, well, even as a fairly good photographer, if he does say so himself, he needs the cash. James has been offering him money for years (“It’s all yours, mate! Jesus Christ!”) but he’s been leeching off James long enough! After 9 years of living with him as a brother, now, 25, in his own little flat, a camera, and a steadily growing group of customers, Sirius is pretty well off. He’s finally doing what he loves, not going into business like his mother forced him to do, he’s got friends, he’s got his camera, and he’s got…
Well, enough cash. Photography is a wobbly job, and that’s partly why Sirius loves it. It’s all like an adventure– finding someone’s story to tell, telling it how they want it to be told, and showing it to the world in a special way. Sometimes he goes two months without a single email or call; sometimes he’s booked everyday for weeks. It’s exhilarating.
And Walburga would be very, very disappointed, so that’s a bonus too.
And if all this means he needs to do a few part-time shifts at Tesco, until– well, as Uncle Alphard so eloquently puts it– “I go to the depths of hell for my dick sucking skills and you get everything I’ve worked so hard for”, then Sirius would work at Tesco as much as Pandora Lovegood needs him to.
He would, he might even like stacking cans of beans, it’s quite calming even, if it just weren’t for–
“Look who’s finally here,” a voice drawls drily. Sirius grits his teeth and turns around, coming face to face (or face to chin) with a taller, tanned man in the same dark blue uniform. Like routine, Sirius’s eyes, without fail, catch on the splash of freckles before anything– for some fucking reason. He thinks they just irk him in the back of his head. The man’s arms are crossed, his amber eyes narrowed, and a brow cocked. “Well?”
“Well what?” Sirius snaps back, quickly darting his gaze up– from the freckles, towards the eyes. From the freckles, towards the eyes. It’s like a little mantra.
He gives him an unimpressed look, and runs a hand through mousy brown curls impatiently. The familiar silvery scar runs across the bridge of his nose, accompanying a smaller one down his eyebrow. Sirius wonders if he would ask about them if they didn’t hate each other so much. “Well, what happened this time? Another fist fight on the bus? Forgot to put your shoes on and had to double back? Had to restart your hair routine again?”
Ladies, gentlemen and everyone in between– behold Remus Lupin.
Sirius could strangle this man.
The last one was a valid reason! He was almost done, when he’d realised he’d forgotten to scrunch half of it. Did this guy really expect Sirius to just step out like that?
Brown curls dip over the annoyed eyes as he tilts his head down. “So?”
“Nothing too exciting, I’m afraid,” Sirius replied, rolling his eyes. “Missed my stop.”
“Lovely.” Remus inhales deeply as he closes his eyes, and releases a muted sigh, clearly barely keeping his irritation in check. “Maybe I should text you every two minutes next time, remind you to fucking come on time for once.”
Sirius smirks, bites his lip. “Sorry sir, I'll try to come harder next time.”
Remus clenches his jaw, staring holes into Sirius as if he wants to punch him. Which is hilarious really, seeing as Sirius would also love to punch the man in front of him. Oh look at that, they already have so much in common!
“Stack the fucking baked beans, Black,” he growls lowly, “Or so help me, I will stuff them up your arse.”
Sirius plasters on his famous shit-eating grin, but as always with Remus, he doesn’t even need to try. The urge to become an absolute menace takes the reins immediately. “Wow, take me on a date first, Loops.”
Remus balls his fists, his eyes drop down to stare intently at Sirius’s throat, and his fists tighten further. Now the daydreaming about strangling! They really are so similar.
“Listen, you can’t just– just let me be the one who has to get the shitty stuff out of the way, like stacking the especially wonky tins and cleaning those three corners that are always dirty, because Pandora insists these tasks be done soon as possible, and I’m the only one there to do our aisles, because someone wanted to impress our middle-aged customers with his perfectly styled hair!” He hisses out all in one breath, backing Sirius up against a shelf of ketchup. Sirius scowls.
“I don’t. Do it. On purpose!” Sirius seethes, jabbing a finger into Remus’s (strangely defined?) chest with each pause. “I genuinely just missed my stop, Lupin. And when the hair thing happened, I still would’ve arrived early if it weren’t for the delays! So stop whining like a kid.”
Remus grits his teeth, trying to keep his voice low so that no one in the other aisles hear, but he does step away. “You are fucking impossible, Sirius Black!”
Sirius looks him up and down, scoffs, and turns back to his baked beans. “Cry me a river, Lupin.”
With a barely suppressed growl, Remus marches off to the other end of the aisle, as far away from Sirius as possible. Fine by me, he thinks, staring at him as he walks away, maybe if he weren’t so fucking bad at stacking the wonky tins, then–
Hold on a fucking minute.
Why does that ass look unfairly good in Tesco’s black uniform trousers?
Sirius finds himself staring as the man walks, climbs the little step stool, drops something, bends over to pick it, and–
Holy fucking shit.
How did Sirius not notice that before?
How did–
“What’re you looking at? Stack the bloody beans, wanker!”
Sirius snaps back to the beans.
Oh, right. He didn’t notice, because it’s Remus Lupin. The only man, after Walburga, Orion, and that one guy that said a slur to Marlene, that Sirius might truly hate.
Oh dear god. It’s Remus Lupin. He just stared at Remus Lupin’s ass! And his eyes are already going back and–
“Focus, Sirius!” he hisses to himself, shaking a little as he places the cans into a pyramid, his artist perfectionism coming in handy, as well as being a nuisance. He finds himself carefully nudging the one at the top so that it’s at the right angle, while the thoughts in his head go at several miles per minute.
Remus Lupin. At the same age of twenty five as Sirius, having come here only a month prior to Sirius, with his snarky attitude, two swears a sentence, fake kindness towards everyone but him,
and a damn fine ass that Sirius never noticed before.
A notification pings his phone, that he really should’ve turned silent, but wanted to keep on just in case.
And he’s really fucking grateful he did, because sure enough, the little bar on his screen has what was now his favourite word, and an even more enticing part underneath:
Moonsguitar 9:30AM
A cover of People Watching by Conan Gray :)