Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

POV MELIODAS

Getting used to the presence of the Sins again was complicated, especially after being alone. As a demon, ten years might not seem like much, but the presence of his companions had become a constant in his life. And to be fair, they had managed to push through all the darkness in his heart, though it hurt. The fact that he hadn’t seen them during that time had plunged him into a kind of depression.

Who would have thought that, of all races, demons would be the ones unable to live alone?

Of course, Ban’s snoring, his constant bickering with King, the sound of the pages when Gowther turned them, Escanor’s poems, Merlin’s explanations, all of it gave him comfort, something he didn’t feel he deserved. Sooner or later, they’d separate again, and he’d be alone once more.

He’s scared. He doesn’t want to be alone again. He can’t. He doesn’t mind dying, but the thought of never hearing his friends’ voices again hurts. He just wants to stop time and allow himself a little more time with them.

Is it strange?

Of course it is. He knows how to be alone ,he’s spent most of his life in an abyss ,but now he doesn’t want to be there. He wants to get out. He wants to believe everything will be okay.

He wants to open his heart to the Sins, even if he doesn’t know how to communicate, even if it seems like his mind is always somewhere else, even if the rest of the world sees him as a monster. He doesn’t care anymore. As long as he’s with them, none of that matters. The outside world doesn’t scare him.

He scares himself.

He’s afraid of hurting them more than he already has. But he wants to stay by their side. He wants to drink with Ban, talk about nonsense without feeling overwhelmed. They don’t know how much he hates feeling like this feeling weak. Since he was a child, he was raised to be strong, an unshakable pillar, and the fact that something as simple as noise or someone stepping into his comfort zone can break him… that makes him feel like everything he’s ever been collapses in seconds.

Everything in the tavern was peaceful. They had decided not to open, so it was just them. And it was one of those rare days when everyone was talking, no fights, not even from Meliodas, who had been avoiding these moments. He seemed calm.

Seemed. That was the key word.

He wasn’t calm. He could feel the magical energy pulsing from his companions, hear every noise, the clink of cutlery, the beating hearts, the rustling of fabric. All of it threw him into a state of anxiety—an anxiety no one noticed.

The blond demon resisted the urge to run. He grabbed his mug of beer and took a sip, trying to calm himself with four-count breathing. It helped ease the anxiety slightly, but it also allowed a few to notice that their captain wasn’t as fine as he appeared.

Ban frowned. He knew their captain no longer enjoyed these moments like before, but he never imagined they might cause him pain. He discreetly watched as Meliodas tried to calm himself and was about to intervene when Merlin stopped him. The mage looked at him seriously, shaking her head to say that under no circumstances should they let their captain know they had seen him like that.

Knowing the reason behind it, the Sin of Greed acted subtly:

"Hey, Cap. We're out of meat. Let’s go hunt. I'm bored of being here," Ban said, looking for a way to get his best friend out of there. He got up without waiting for a response.

“At least wait for me, Ban.” Meliodas stood and followed him.

The other five Sins said nothing, only watching as the two left and closed the door behind them. Merlin, in particular, felt proud of how her companion had handled the situation. With that in mind, she continued eating.

The air was fresh. The wind brushed against his face and ruffled his hair, bringing him a calm he hadn’t felt in days. Maybe weeks. Maybe centuries.
He didn’t know for sure.
He had learned to disconnect from time when the present hurt too much.

He didn’t know whether to thank Ban or not. Part of him wanted to scream at him not to follow, not to see him, not to try to read what he had worked so long to hide.
But another part… one more tired, more broken, and more in need… thanked him silently.

Because someone had seen him.

Not as a captain.
Not as a warrior.
Not as the demon who could do it all.

As Meliodas. Just that.

And that terrified him.

He remembered the table.
The clinking of silverware.
The laughter tangled in the tavern’s walls.
Diane’s gentle voice, Ban’s rough laugh, Gowther’s curious murmurs. So familiar… and so unbearable.
As if the world had become too intense to touch without bleeding.

He hated himself for it.
He hated not being able to enjoy what was once his refuge.
He hated how his body tensed when someone got too close.
He hated that the simplest thing, a meal with friends, felt like a battle he couldn’t win.

And more than anything… he hated that no one else knew.

Except now… Ban knew.

—Cap… thanks —Ban’s voice said behind him, without warning or expectation.

Meliodas turned his head slightly, not replying. He waited for more. An explanation. A joke. A nudge on the shoulder.
But nothing came.
Just those two words.

And they were enough.

It was as if those words created a small, safe space where he didn’t have to explain himself.
Where he could feel.
Where he didn’t have to be strong.

"You don’t have to be strong all the time, Cap. You’ve got us. You’ve got me. And believe me you won’t be getting rid of me anytime soon."

The Fox of Greed said it in that way he always did—disguising care with humor, as if he were afraid of being taken too seriously. But Meliodas did take him seriously.

For the first time in a long time, he truly heard him.

Not as a captain.
Not as a demon.
As someone who was tired. As someone who just wanted to rest, even for a second, in the arms of someone who wouldn’t judge him.

And Ban didn’t judge him.
Ban knew everything. And still… he stayed.

And strangely enough… that hurt more than any punishment.

Because he didn’t feel he deserved it.
But he needed it.

Chapter Text

POV BAN

I was never good with words—at least not the ones that truly matter. I could joke around, be sarcastic, say stupid things, even lie and scam my way through life… but comforting someone? That’s different. Especially someone as broken as my captain. It’s like walking on glass, not knowing when it might shatter.

Dragging him out of the tavern was an impulse. One of those that come straight from the heart. I just couldn’t leave him there—something inside me wouldn't let me.

There was something in his eyes, or maybe in the way he wasn’t really looking at anyone, that reminded me of myself.
Of the days in prison. Of the loneliness of being watched but never truly seen.
I know what it feels like to be broken and for no one to notice. Meliodas was falling apart, and everyone just looked at him like nothing was happening. Like he was still that invincible bastard who could do anything, laugh through pain, bleed and keep going.

But he was there for me when I was at my worst.
He pulled me out of prison, gave me a home—but more than that, he gave me a family. Someone I could turn to when everything fell apart.
The least I could do was try to do the same for my best friend.

I remember how I felt in those dark cells, surrounded by walls that felt like they were closing in. Not just because I was trapped, but because there was a void so deep inside me I thought no one could ever reach it.

Elaine’s death tore a hole in my soul I didn’t think would ever heal. But then he came.
He reached out to me—didn’t care I was a thief, a murderer.
He looked past all that. He saw me.
The broken guy who lost the love of his life.

And Meliodas… he didn’t show up as some perfect savior.
He just stayed.
He didn’t judge me, didn’t ask anything of me.
He just… was there.
He lay beside me. He didn’t tell me to get up—he waited with me until I had the strength to stand on my own.

That simple act saved me.

Not his strength, though it’s damn near endless.
Not his words.
Him. Meliodas.

He didn’t try to fix me, or make me look presentable for the world.
He accepted me as I am.
And that’s what made it real.

I don’t care about pleasing others. I won’t change for anyone.
But… when you’re so broken you can’t even move, all you want is someone who’ll stay.
Who won’t ask questions.
Who won’t want anything in return.
Just… stay.

That’s why I want to be there for him.

Not out of duty.
Not because I feel like I owe him something.

“Cap… thank you.”

Yeah, he was there every time I broke down.
Every time I drank too much and ended up crying over Elaine, or Zhivago.
He sat next to me. He didn’t ask anything. Just listened. Stayed.
More than I ever could’ve asked for.

Maybe that’s why I admire him so much.

Not for his strength. Not for his magic.
I admire him because he stays.
Even when he’s broken too.
Even when he can’t move forward, he somehow finds a way.
Even when the world’s crumbling under his feet.

He pretends not to see it, not to feel it.
He smiles like everything’s fine.

But he doesn’t fool me.

He can hide it from everyone else. But not me.

Because I’ve done it too.
I know what it’s like to cover pain with a smile.
And I know how exhausting that is.
How heavy it gets.

I recognize that lost look in his eyes.
That way of avoiding touch.
Of laughing with his voice, but not his eyes.

I get it.
Being tired of holding the world on your back and pretending it’s not crushing you.

Meliodas doesn’t need saving.
He just needs someone to lie next to him.
Someone who won’t push him.
Won’t demand explanations.
Won’t force him to heal right away.

Someone who’ll just… be there.

I used to think my immortality was a curse. Still do.
But maybe it means I get to stay by his side as long as he needs.
And I will.
No matter how many centuries go by.

Maybe I don’t say things in a pretty way.
Maybe I don’t have Merlin’s wisdom or Diane’s heart.

I’m not the guy with the right words.
Hell, I barely understand my own emotions half the time.

But I have this.
This loyalty that barely fits in my chest.
This almost primal need to protect what little I have left—what little I call mine.
This silent promise that was born when Elaine was ripped from my arms… and got stronger the moment he helped me breathe again.

Because it wasn’t some magic phrase.
It wasn’t some grand speech.

It was him.

Sitting beside me in silence when I didn’t even have the strength to be angry.
Looking at me like there was still something good in me.
Just… staying.

I look at him as he walks a few steps ahead of me. He’s silent.

The wind ruffles his hair and jacket, and for a second, he looks small.
Even smaller than he already is.

So damn small for someone who’s carried so much.

And it hurts.

Not out of pity.
Not because I see him as fragile.

It hurts because I know what that’s like.
To carry so much that you forget what it feels like to just breathe.

It hurts because I know him.
Because I’ve seen him fight when no one noticed.

And because I know—with the kind of certainty you don’t need to prove—that he never asks for help.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need it.

“You don’t have to be strong all the time, you know?” — I say it softly, not expecting an answer.
“You’ve got us. You’ve got me. And believe me, you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon.”

He doesn’t look at me, but his shoulders ease, just a little.

For a moment, I think maybe he won’t react. Maybe he didn’t hear me. Maybe he just doesn’t want to talk.

But then he turns his head slightly, just enough that I catch his profile, and glances at me over his shoulder.

His eyes don’t shine.
There are no tears.
But there’s something there.
Something that tells me he heard. That he felt it.

That, even if he won’t say it… he’s grateful.

I don’t need anything more.

I keep walking, now beside him, without breaking the silence.

Because sometimes, being there is enough.

And I will be.
Until he’s ready.
Until he can be.

And if he never is…
I’ll still stay.

Because he did it for me.

And it’s not about paying him back.
It’s not about debt.

It’s just that… if anyone deserves someone to stay, it’s him.

Even if he never says a word.
Even if he never asks.

I’ll be there.

Even if he won’t look at me.
Even if he never speaks.

Because sometimes, that’s enough.

And if it’s not… I’m still not leaving.