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Everything was still so fuzzy. She got the feeling that she was missing something, something important.
She believed it was him. The moment he took her hand in his she knew; he didn’t even have to tell her the rest of the story. She saw the slightly surprised look on his face when she asked if he could change back. Then he asked if she wanted to leave and for one fearful moment she thought it was over, everything was over. She knew instantly that she would rather have this new different doctor than no doctor at all. She would rather him be different than lose him completely…then it really would be like he had died. He set the controls before she could really bring herself to say anything.
Her heart was still pounding as she stumbled out of the Tardis after the strange man in her Doctor’s clothes. He had literally changed into another person in front of her, not just his face…all of him. The leather jacket now hung loosely over his smaller frame as he tripped and fell to the ground at Mickey’s feet. He had literally changed…completely… Her doctor… Somehow he had managed to half fly the Tardis, half crash it to Earth…at least she was home she supposed, in case he really did turn out to be a crazy person.
“Help me get him inside.” She said to the pair, gaping over the unconscious stranger. Mickey helped her haul him to his feet and between them they practically dragged him up to the flat.
“I’m so glad you’re alright Rose.” Her mother said quietly as they dropped him onto Rose’s bed. Rose allowed the older woman to hug her tightly for a moment, she wasn’t really able to say much. None of it made sense.
“We should get him in something more comfortable.” Jackie suggested.
“Yeah.” Rose agreed, unable to look at a stranger in her doctor’s clothes anymore anyway.
“Does he need to go to a hospital?” she asked.
“No, definitely not.” Rose said quickly. “He’s an alien, no hospital.”
“Is he dead?” Mickey asked, appearing back in the doorway.
“No.” she replied. “Not at the moment anyway.” Jackie left the room for a moment and returned with a pair of pyjamas in her arms.
“They’re probably a little big around the waist for him but they’ll be more comfy than what he’s in now at any rate.” Her mother said.
“Thanks.” She nodded. “I’ll just…I’ll get him changed.” Mickey and her mother backed out of the room and left her alone. She pushed the door shut and hovered nervously by the bed.
After taking a deep breath she reached forward and shifted his torso up against her so that she could tug off his jacket. She froze, lowering him back to the bed as she eyed the familiar leather. A sob slipped past her lips as she snatched it to her, hugging it and breathing in the familiar smell. Her doctor, he was so different now and she hadn’t even gotten to say goodbye. Rose carefully hung the jacket up and took a few deep breaths to regain composure.
“It’s still him.” She told herself quietly. “Sort of…” Starting at his feet, she undid his boots and tugged them off. Next she unfastened his belt and jeans, trying not to think too much about what she was doing and then shifted his top up his body. Leaning him up again, she pulled it off before moving again and tugging his jeans down his legs until she could easily get them free. She folded the clothes before turning back to the slim man on her bed in only a pair of tight fitting boxers, that seemed a little baggy on his new slimmer frame.
She sighed and picked up the pyjama bottoms, he was good looking, she’d give him that. Odd that he was so much thinner than before, not to mention that he was pretty. She had fallen for her doctor almost immediately, it didn’t take long for her world revolve around him, her universe. He had been so lonely, like he needed her around, she hadn’t spotted it at first…but she knew in time that he loved her. Maybe not the same way as she had come to love him but he loved her in his own way and he would do almost anything for her. After they realised that it was his name on her skin, he had become more open with her. He had hugged her more often, not just to celebrate that they were alive. He had sat with her on the library sofa in the evenings, let her snuggle up beside him. Just because he never seemed to want her physically speaking, didn’t mean she couldn’t be content with him. Saying that, there had been moments when she had wondered…moment when he seemed…interested. Then again, he had said timelords didn’t really do that sort of thing much so maybe that was why he never made a move; not that she ever made a proper move either, coward that she was.
She carefully hoisted his hips and shuffled the bottoms up and around his waist. She frowned at the top before sliding one of his arms into it and carefully shifting him up again. She wondered exactly how she was going to reach around and get the other arm in when her breath caught. The material dropped from her hand and hung on his one arm as she reached out to the skin of his back.
A mole. He had said it was a mole on his back, between his shoulder blades… It wasn’t a mole. If he had felt it, felt something there…then it was new, it hadn’t been there before or the other him would have felt it. In fact, she had seen him shirtless from behind before. When they’d both got covered in this strange chemical mixture once and they’d had to quickly change into the first clothes they could find. They’d just turned their backs and changed, she’d peeked but only seen him in a pair of borrowed combat trousers about to pull a shirt over his head. There had been nothing between his shoulder blades then. Certainly not this.
Her fingers carefully traced the scripted letters of her name. Just four letters. Four letters that told the world that he was hers…
She gasped as an image burst into her mind. Her doctor on the ground in front of her.
“Stop Rose! You’re gonna burn!”
“Come here.”
“I think you need a Doctor.”
Her fingers left his back and touched her lips at the vague dreamlike memory. He had saved her…his last act had been to save her. He had kissed her. She shook her head and quickly reached around to pull this strange New Doctor’s arm into the other sleeve and quickly lay him back down, fastening the buttons and tucking him under the covers. She didn’t even know if that had really happened, how many times had she fantasied that the Doctor would kiss her? It was completely possible that she was just mixing up fantasy with reality… She touched her lips again and glanced to the leather jacket across the room thoughtfully.
~*~*~*~*~
As the Tardis door closed and they found themselves alone again. He stuck his hands in his pockets and stepped around the console nervously. Once he steered the Tardis into the vortex he turned to face her to find her watching him quietly.
“You can still go home at any time if you change your mind.” He told her.
“You’re still the Doctor.” She replied, biting her lip and ducking her head. Why had interacting with her been so much easier with other people around?
“Do you still wish I could change back?” he asked.
“Sort of.” She admitted. “Sorry, I just… you’re so different, the Doctor you were…I didn’t get to say goodbye, didn’t get to say… I miss him, tha’s all.”
“You don’t have to say goodbye.” He said, holding out his hand to squeeze hers. “I’m still right here.”
“I know. It’s just weird.” She nodded. “You died, my mark went ice cold.”
“Your mark, it went away?” he frowned.
“No. It’s still there but it did the cold thing and scared the hell out of me.” She explained, she bit her lip again before speaking. “You’ve got one too.”
“Got what?” he asked. “A mark?” She nodded. “Oh! I’ve never had a mark! Where is it?” He turned his head, turning in a circle on the spot like a dog chasing his tail, even though he was fully clothed.
“Your back, it’s not a mole.” She pointed. “Sorry, when I changed your clothes, I saw it but it was either me or my mum or Mickey.”
“Never let your Mother change me. Ever.” He told her, with a serious look.
“Don’t you want to look at your…” she trailed off, gesturing with her hand. His eyes locked on hers as he stepped closer to her.
“I don’t need to.” He told her. “I already know what it says.”
“You thought it was a mole.” She pointed out.
“Mid regeneration process, I can be forgiven for not realising I had a soulmark which as a Timelord, shouldn’t even be possible for me to have.” He said. “Besides that’s not how I know. I can’t feel it or see it, I just know.”
“How?” she asked quietly. He reached for her other hand, squeezing them both in his and smiling softly down at her.
“Oh Rose, there is only one name in the universe it could possibly say.” He murmured. “This body was born for you Rose, literally. You came back for me, knowing you would almost certainly die. I couldn’t let you die Rose.”
“I couldn’t let you die and you went and did it anyway.” She said sadly. He moved his hands to her face tenderly, again she had a flash of memory of him, the other him, kissing her.
“For you Rose.” He said, remembering how much his hearts had filled with both hope and fear when she had stepped out of the Tardis. Fear for her, for the danger she had put herself in by absorbing the Time Vortex. Fear for her life but still, in that moment he realised that she had come back for him. She had refused to let him die alone on a satellite, thousands of years in her future. She had put herself in danger for him. She loved him. In those final moments as his previous self he had been unable to contain his feelings for her, he had kissed her and she had let him. Until that moment he had never thought that she would desire him physically, old and battered as he was. “This new me, younger looking, prettier looking, for you.”
“I liked the other you as you were.” She protested.
“Yeah, that was a surprise.” He said, scratching his ear thoughtfully. “When you actually wanted that draft old face back, I didn’t realise…”
“You stupid alien.” She rolled her eyes. “Nearly a year I wanted you to kiss me and you wait until you’re about to die.”
“You’re missing the point Rose. I didn’t actually die!” he insisted again. “I’m right here and your name is on my skin. Where do you want to go next?” Rose blinked in surprise at the subject change, as he stepped backwards and gestured to the console.
“I…don’t know.” She replied uncertainly. He reached back to grab her hand again and tugged her over to the console.
“Want to learn to drive?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “To stop you breaking into parts of the poor girl in future.”
“Really?” she grinned.
“Well, the Doctor and Rose Tyler, in the Tardis.” He smiled back. “Meant to be.”