Work Text:
On such an afternoon, if ever, the Lord High Chancellor ought to be sitting here—as here he is—with a foggy glory round his head, softly fenced in with crimson cloth and curtains, addressed by a persistent advocate with great whiskers, a little voice, and an interminable brief. Directing his contemplation between the great ashen tresses of the High Court's usual residents, he strutted about, entirely indifferent to the vigorous objections raised.
The sole solicitor who dared approach the court's newest participant to make his argument of eviction directly was swiftly countered by a hissed rebuttal, plainly implying that further debate on the subject would be extremely sharp. Many lawyers promised their clients to fight with teeth and claws, yet none of them were willing to cross a ferocious opponent who was clearly familiar with such battles. The chance of a humiliating defeat was far too large, and one's reputation would never fully recover.
The Lord Chancellor and several solicitors convened an emergency meeting, sparking eager cooperation of an intensity not seen in those halls since the day Lincoln’s Inn was christened. They quickly concluded that further arguments would only contribute to the court's ridicule. Eschewing any sort of confrontation, a court clerk was sent to purchase a fresh catch from the nearest market.
Upon return, he enticed their guest outside for refreshments, keeping everyone's dignity fully intact, recent visitor included. A collective sigh of relief was audible when the court attendees returned to just the typical participants. In between normal proceedings, the occasional murmur of mutual congratulation on the ingenuity of their painless solution continued well into the following day.
Those whispers were, of course, unanimously forgotten about once their regal guest strolled in around noon, whiskers held high, and fresh arguments prepared. Wasting no time on deliberation, the Lord Chancellor needed only a single glance and brief nod to send the clerk to the market once again.
Over the next few days, assorted other solutions were considered and summarily rejected. Within a week, the clerk found that a morning stop at the market had been quietly added to his job duties.
Finding cheaper sources of nourishment for their guest was considered, briefly. That may be an option for a one-time visitor, they concluded, but a daily attendee was practically a colleague who therefore warranted the full splendor of the High Court, and that meant fresh catches every day.