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Ena was far too familiar with floral scents.
Her mother’s spring-scented perfume often lingered around their home, staining the furniture with the smell of roses and lavenders. Her mother enjoyed the embrace of the soft, sweet smell of the lavender mixed with the rich scent of the roses.
Growing up, Ena loved the smell. Every morning she used to wish she had the same perfume. She shared her mother’s sentiment on the rich and soft scents mixing together perfectly. Yet, after about 17 years, it got old. It felt as if the scent was beginning to rot, leaving a sour tingle in her nose. It started waking her when she wished to remain at rest. With the divorce of her parents a year ago, and her being forced to remain with her father, the house still reeked of soft, sweet scents that now began to feel bitter and painful.
Her recent issue has not made her enjoy the familiarity of the smell anymore. If anything, she now is so hurt by the scent that she can't hate it any less. The feeling of waking up to the same smell has begun to ruin her sense of smell, her own body falling victim to the repetitive life she now lived.
She thought back to the last time she spent time with Mizuki. Ena’s situation currently seemed impossible, yet she lived it. The last time she was with Mizuki was in the future. For a reason unknown to her, she’s been repeating the spring. The season she got the most photos and attention during, primarily due to her pictures of herself beside flowers; their natural beauty creating a contrast between herself and her artificial beauty, now made her life horrible.
She can’t leave this life, though. When she first lived through it, she experienced possibly the best thing her entire existence has offered. A chance to love, to live a new life with one she adored. It was the only thing she never got sick of from this repetitive spring.
As she repeated the first time, she remained in complete shock. Things only worsened when she realized no changes occurred. The “dream” she experienced was never a dream, and the thought became real to her as it truly was. She remained optimistic, and believed she always would. More time to spend with her beloved.
With her reliving the same quarter of her year 68 times, 17 years now, she finally arrived at the realization that she hates the spring-like perfume. The dim, sweet scent that brought her comfort in all the past loops has now left her feeling bitter and losing her sense of smell.
She remembered each time she spent with Mizuki, wondering if maybe they thought it was weird that Ena was already so comfortable being in a relationship with them, knowing exactly what they liked and hated, despite Ena not even being the one who’d asked the other to be their partner.
Ena’s extremely grateful her journal of the events of the loops follows her through each spring. It contained precious moments, important facts, good choices to make, bad ones, and all that she needs to remember to ensure those around her remain happy.
She wonders if her relationship is true, if she’s had to repeat time to know what she does about Mizuki. Is it real if before, the first time, she didn’t know their favorite food? Let alone their sister’s name or where she lived. But now, all information about them and their family remained at the top of her thoughts perpetually.
Perhaps she’d feel better if she’d been subtle with her approach to their relationship. Perhaps after time, she could’ve evoked Mizuki’s memories of the loop. However, after all these years, Ena’s hope dwindled fully, diminishing each time she was asked to be their girlfriend.
Her singing and art skills have bloomed since she began the loops. Yet, her father remains harsh, even when she recreated and improved upon his craft. Making her father proud was something she never believed could happen, even in an impossible scenario such as time travel. Her singing abilities have impressed Kanade and Mizuki, while Mafuyu characteristically remained unfazed.
She wishes she remembered how she felt before. Her current thoughts at the time had since drifted, long forgotten. She recalled how each recent loop, Kanade would approach her asking if she was well. Her younger brother yelled at her once that she was acting strange and that he needed to know what was happening to support her. Ena pressed that she was doing alright and didn’t need him to pester her. He didn’t enjoy that, and limited his discussion with her for the rest of that loop. Then, everything was back to normal. A sudden change in behavior that even now shocks her.
She never lost her love or attraction to Mizuki. The old feelings of love always bloom and shine when she’s spoken to by her beloved. The drop of warmth that enveloped her body when they were together was something she craved for the past 17 years of her life. She understood how Mafuyu feels when she says she “feels warm.” It was addictive, but never harmful. She hated waiting for the confession from Mizuki, yearning for the calming warmth of their presence. She once attempted asking them out first, but it must’ve been too early.
While she suffers in her inability to be around her partner constantly until the confession is made, longing for the warmth, the illusion of one day getting out of this loop and being able to enjoy a life with her is strong. It eats from inside her, the bitter hope of freedom grasping at her nearly husk-like state of repetition. It once was a motivation, now it’s just a dream she will never reach. She’s tried praying to every kind of God there is, asking Miku if she knew what was going on, and never received an answer.
She just wishes for peace. A comfortable life with the one she wants. It remains out of her reach, running from her as she chases it down until she finally loses stamina and decides to give up. She’s nearly there, nearly finished. While her love is strong, part of her love makes her want to ensure Mizuki can continue their life and never know that they were repeating this.
Someday soon, Mizuki will confess. It’s not consistent the day they do so. The first time, it was in May. As of late, it’s been happening around March or April. She’s unsure if this is because of her actions in the loops, or because of some other reason she isn’t quite aware of yet. The eternal impatience of waiting for the light to come to her, so they can enjoy their time together is getting on her nerves.
The memories of what they’ve done together will be treasured until they can no longer make more. The thought of the impending end of these loops, through the end of her life, causes her both dread and excitement. She’ll be free, but she won’t be able to do anything with the freedom granted by death. She’ll have bloomed and wilted at the same time.
Her moment is interrupted when she receives 3 notifications from Nightcord. As she checked, she read the following:
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K - 1:34
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We’re going to need the art sometime within the next week.
Does that work with you?
If you need an extension, I’m open to giving one.
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She realized her current project. At this time, they needed the cover image for Dokuzu prepared to be released. She already had the image engraved into her brain, copying down her vision onto the screen. Her art took time, and before she knew it, it was 6:30 and her father was home with dinner.
Time passes as usual– fast for her, slow to others. It’s said each day feels shorter than the past, as it takes up less of your life. A child feels each day is longer as it is a large percentage of its life, while an adult feels the same day as extremely fast. The imperception of time’s passing can also be caused by repetitivity, as mundane tasks are learned by the brain to be understimulating and forgettable.
Ena’s life has ran for 34 years, compared to her peers’ 17. Every day she experiences the same events, same hangouts, up until Mizuki confesses. Then, she gets to pick what they do together.
It is March 27th, and Mizuki has just messaged her asking to talk one-on-one in person sometime soon. Ena accepts, anticipating the warmth’s revival. The only part of this perpetual loop she looked forward to with hope for something new. A change. The endless despair that is the time repetition has a glimmer shined on it in the form of love.
Her rusted, broken, and lonely feelings are polished, fixed, and cured by the end of the day. Mizuki confessed, and Ena once again happily accepted. This hermitage, crafted from the repeating days, allows her to grow close to Mizuki. Even if there’s no end to this spring, she will continue to build off her mistakes and be with them.
Once, long ago, she’d declined the advance. She hoped for a way out of the loops by changing things, blaming Mizuki for her predicament. But, the scars left on their past relationship are proof that Ena will love her time and time again. As she lays with Mizuki asleep in her arms in peace, she remembers that loop. The 3rd, where she was horribly confused and blaming anyone she could find.
She was lonely at that time. She pushed everyone away– Akito, Mizuki, Kanade, Mafuyu, Airi, anyone who’d dare speak to her was accused of putting her into this problem. She left that loop with many important notes. Mizuki continued to love her, despite her stubbornness to be alone. Kanade always tried to save her, making songs to possibly help. Akito continued to check on her after their arguments. Mafuyu expressed as much concern as she could, which was not much, but it’s the thought that counts. Airi would text more than usual.
Ena heard a mumble from the person in her arms, “What’s got you thinking so hard?”
She held her head down and looked down at them, drifting back into sleep. “...Nothing. I’m just reminiscing on this spring.”
The end is near. The loop will occur soon, and she’ll be lonely again. However, even if many times Mizuki doesn’t remember their experiences together, given a few months, they shall repeat this love again. Ena planted a kiss on Mizuki’s forehead, who was now asleep again. Perhaps this kiss is the one that inspires their heart, pushing them to remember. She watches Mizuki’s lips perk up.
“You were faking being asleep, weren’t you?”
Tiredly, Mizuki replied, “Of course I was. But now I really need my beauty sleep. I love you.”
“...Love you, goodnight.”
12 AM hit, and she was brought back to her own bed at home. She sighed and wrote about the events in her journal. 3/27 confession date, overall nothing new. The spring smells overwhelmed her, rotten flowers taking over her sense of smell and rendering it useless again.
Ena checks her phone and notices a lot of frantic messages from Mizuki. This has never happened before.
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Amia - 12:01
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UDE I THINK IM IN A TIME LOOP ??
last thing i remember i was like in your lap or smthn falling asleep AND NOQ YOURE OGNE AND THE DATE WENT BACK IN TIME
what do i do dawg
oh wait the lap things rlly embarrassing if i am actually in a time loop and you dont remember
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Enanan - 12:11
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sorry im late
we should probably talk
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