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Jimin is born from stardust and light.
He’s nothing much, at first. Just a little, flickering soul floating around the universe, swimming with the clouds, dancing with the moon, laughing with the night.
He enjoys existing in its purest form for a little while, wandering the realms freely, without purpose.
But… something is there… A push and pull, a certain direction, the certainty of not being whole, the ghost of a whisper that calls out to him.
He follows. There is the idea of a voice leading him and he follows. Always follows. Chases. Unsatisfied because of reasons not clear to him. Hungry for answers, desperate to find some peace.
He doesn’t know where he goes or how long it will take him, but the pull gets stronger, the voices grow.
Jimin is on the right path. Soon, soon!
The little soul pulses in delight.
There is an island lying in the dark sea of dawn, swimming between moonlight, bathed by the waves of sunrises and night-sky. His journey is coming to an end, Jimin can feel it. He has reached his destination.
He begins to explore the island, and the landscape is wide and open and over-whelming for a little soul like him. The forest tempts him, and he dips right into it, jumping from leaf to leaf, sliding though trees and stone and everything is big and towering and so very much alive.
Something tells him to go deeper into the forest, where shadows are dark and light is rare. He comes across a small quell, the surface of the little pond as clear as glass.
Jimin gets to see a glimpse of himself, for the first time. He’s strangely beautiful, a ball of molten light; wavering, transparent, invisible to mankind’s eye. He’s so transfixed with trying to behold his own contours, he takes note of another’s presence only when he hears a soft, melodic giggle behind him.
Delicate hands reach out to grasp him in their palms and the foreign touch of a living, manifested creature is unexpectedly pleasant. It’s warm. And soothing. Jimin feels protected.
The young man that caught him smiles down on him, angelic features softening a little, movements gracious and drawn-out as he crouches down to set the little soul atop of the surface of the water.
He can’t be human, Jimin thinks faintly, blinded by the man’s rare beauty. He’s too beautiful, too noble. He seems to be an elf, a celestial being, the guardian of this forest and the one to initiate life. Jimin pulses excitedly, singing a little melody to the elf. He can’t talk in words, his words are sounds.
The elf giggles again, amused by the soul’s childlike joy.
“Welcome, little shooting star. It took you long enough to find your way to us,” the beautiful man starts to speak, and his voice is quiet and calm, like the gurgle of a little creek.
Jimin chirps something in return, the images of his long and exhausting journey still fresh in mind.
“You finally made it, I’m very proud of you. My name is Seokjin, in charge of welcoming the newcomers. The island’s name is Neverland, a place to give lost souls new hope. You can choose a life now, little shooting star, to give it a purpose and your soul a permanent home.”
Seokjin stretches his arm over the water and its surface ripples slightly all of a sudden, three different scenes appearing.
“To live, to laugh or to protect.”
Jimin floats a little closer to the silent, moving images reflected on the pond, observing the left one intently.
To live.
A snippet of your typical child’s room, colourful walls, Star Wars bedding, posters, toys and stuffed animals everywhere.
In the middle of the room on the ground sits a little human boy with black, curly hair, building a huge tower with Lego. He seems to be very mesmerized in his work, brows furrowed, tip of his tongue caught between his lips.
He is adorable. Jimin thrums in joy.
The little boy takes his task so seriously, placing every building block gently, with caution. It’s a beautiful thing to watch, the passion of a child.
“Namjoonie, dinner is ready,” a female voice sounds from afar and the little boy perks up, although his eyes never leave his tower.
“Yeah, mummy, I’m on my way,” he shouts back, attention still on the task of carefully situating the last stone. Then he jumps up, smiling brightly at his work, a cute dimple showing, and runs out of his room.
To live.
Jimin could be like that boy. Choosing a human life, happy and breathing, with parents that love him dearly.
He moves to the image in the middle.
To laugh.
Two boys, playing in the midst of the forest, one lanky and loud with lilac locks and a boxy grin, the other quiet and reserved but equally happy, watching his friend’s antics through the strands of black hair falling into his forehead.
The raven haired boy sits on a fallen trunk, knees drawn up to his chest, while the other tells stories to him, invents whole worlds, drawing on the loose forest floor with a stick.
He talks excitedly, using his hands to put emphasis on certain words, looking up from time to time to seek the other’s approval.
“Jungkook, listen! Let’s play this later on, okay? We’re the knights and that tree over there is the dragon and we’ll fight it. And we’ll almost die before we kill it and we’ll be the heroes then, okay? Jungkook, okay?”
The lilac-haired boy is practically bouncing with eagerness and the raven-haired boy – Jungkook – giggles and nods.
“Okay, Taehyung, it sounds fun! Your stories are seriously the best.”
They take each other’s hands, linking their fingers together, laughing with each other.
To laugh.
They live on this island, the lost boys, alive, but not entirely human at the same time because they’re born out of something like Jimin, born directly from a soul, and they have no parents and no place on mankind’s earth.
They’ll never grow up, they’re stuck like this, free of responsibilities and the struggle of growth.
They’re always happy, always carefree. Alive, but not human. They’re not bothered by that, though. They chose to laugh, after all.
Jimin watches the two boys curiously and his light flickers in faint longing. They seem to have fun. Jimin wants to laugh, too.
Still, he flies over to the third image, his curiosity getting the better of him.
To protect.
A child’s room, once again, different this time, though. Less colours, less toys, everything neatly cleaned up, desk overflowing with CDs and drawings and notes, poems, stories, some melodies written down in big, clumsy notes.
It’s dark, curtains closed and the only thing that looks like it would make a child’s heart jump in joy is the ceiling covered in countless stickers of glowing stars, their light faint but soothing and warm.
At first glance, it looks like the room is empty, but there is the wheezy sound of someone breathing evenly and the big pile of blankets on the bed is actually moving slightly, some strands of mint-coloured hair peeping out from it.
A little boy, maybe six years old, is fast asleep, curled up on his side and securely hidden under the sheets. He looks peaceful in his sleep, features soft and delicate, lips gently curved and slightly pursed, cute button nose scrunched up a little, eyes closed, eyelashes fanning over cheekbones that only start to get defined.
He looks like an angel. Jimin is awed by the boy’s beauty, he looks so flawless and fragile, like a doll made of porcelain and he feels the sudden urge… the urge to protect…
Everything falls into place now, it’s like a blanket has been lifted off of Jimin and he can see clearly for the first the time in his life. For the first time, he’s certain about something, he’s determined. He has found his purpose.
Because the boy is small and innocent and like everything that’s painfully beautiful, he’s vulnerable and easy to destroy and Jimin wants to be his servant, his knight, the one to take all the blows for him.
Jimin wants to look after him, wants to protect him.
He watches the sleeping figure for a little while longer, unable to break away from the boy, before he jumps up and back into Seokjin’s waiting hands, singing an excited melody to him.
The elf smiles a little melancholically.
“Are you sure?” he wants to know.
Jimin plays one sonorous, confident tune. He is sure. He made his decision.
To protect.
Seokjin nods and closes his eyes and Jimin doesn’t know what he has to expect, but he feels hot and full all of a sudden like he’s expanding and about to burst, and his light becomes brighter and brighter, blinding him temporarily, the sounds impossibly loud to him, everything growing, growing, becoming too much until all combusts in an explosion of chaos.
Jimin sinks down into darkness.
~~~
He wakes up at the edge of the little pond, Seokjin nowhere to be seen, and he’s so big all of a sudden, and he has a… body, and hands, he’s alive, he can grasp himself. His soul is locked into an outer shell now.
He has substance now, a physically tangible body, he has weight and density and he evolved from his naked, raw state to something greater, something more.
Still… he’s not entirely human, he can feel it. He has more grasp of his soul – his former self – than he expected. He can still feel the energy flowing through him, the magic, the light he was created with.
Jimin lifts both his hands, to observe them, and his form is glowing, skin covered in a fine layer of glooming powder and he brushes some off of his arms, collects it in his palms, before lifting it to his mouth and blowing gently, the stardust illuminating the glade tenderly.
He watches the pretty sparks dancing through the air and a happy giggle leaves him and he doesn’t sound human either. There is still a melodic, airy quality to his voice, something soft and breezy, as if he still sings all his words.
Curiosity is getting the better of him eventually, so Jimin crawls over to the pond, kneeling at its border and leaning forward slightly, to get a glimpse of his reflection in the smooth surface of the clear water.
He’s a little taken aback at first because he is… well… he is kind of beautiful? As far as he can tell with the little experience he has of life. He looks young, too, barely as old as the boy with the mint-coloured hair.
His skin is smooth and glooming slightly with stardust, giving his face a fresh, fey look, his features are well-proportioned and sharp, eyes big and dark, cheeks endearingly chubby, lips plumb and smile bright. His hair is a shocking shade of orange, and with the sparks of frizzling light jumping off the tips of his locks like fireflies, it glistens and shines impressively, like liquid fire or smouldering coals.
It’s a sight to behold.
His mind wanders to the little boy he chose to protect, to the mob of pale, mint-green hair, fresh and cold like ice, soft and gentle in its transitions, like a calm, silent lake deep down at its ground.
They will contrast so beautifully, Jimin warm and happy and kind, the boy chilly and thoughtful and sensitive.
Jimin wants to meet him, wants to protect him, wants to take hold of his hand and never let go. He wants to get to know the boy better, wants to learn his name, to never forget it again.
He feels his soul deep down in his chest thrumming with excitement, and something on his back – something that is there from the beginning, but he didn’t notice, because it feels like a natural part of his body, like an extra pair of limbs – starts to thrum, too, and it shivers and stretches and expands to full length.
Wings.
Jimin has delicate, fragile wings on his back and he moves them around, to get a better feel of them. They help to underline the difference. Jimin is not a human boy.
He is a fairy.
~~~
Jimin is a little worried at first that the other residents of the island, the other fairies and the lost boys, would be shy and sceptic at first, but nobody has reservations apparently, and they accept him in their ranks like an old friend that came home after a long time, as if they had expected him.
Right from the beginning, it’s like he has always been a part of this. He feels like he fits in, like he knows the others for many years now, and he’s happy.
He’ll get to see Yoongi for the first time, on his seventh birthday. He’s excited, but so goddamn nervous, too.
~~~
Jimin doesn’t know if it’s because he saw their reflection in the pond, but he takes an immediate liking to Jungkook and Taehyung.
The two boys are always happy when new fairies appear on their island, but they are hesitant and distant at first. Jimin has to follow them around a lot, before they start to accept and even encourage his stubborn attempts to get to know them better.
They seem to be fascinated by his otherness, his magic, especially Taehyung who always snatches stardust off of his body to throw into the wind, or plays with his filigree wings for hours.
“Sometimes I ask myself…,” Taehyung starts one day, when the three of them laze around at the food of a giant oak – Taehyung sitting with his back against the trunk, Jungkook dozing off on his shoulder, Jimin’s head in his lap – his fingers drawing soothing patterns on Jimin’s wings and watching when the gentle pressure leaves glooming trails on the thin membrane that disappear after a few seconds.
“Sometimes I ask myself if we’re going to regret this.”
His voice is thoughtful and the general mood is sluggish, easy and he gets not much reaction at first, Jimin just humming quietly and Jungkook lifting his head to blink up at his friend, fighting to clear his mind a little.
“If we made the right decision, if it’s worth it.”
The others start to perk up now, because as unconcerned as Taehyung sounds, as shocking his words are.
“TaeTae, are you alright? What’s not worth it?” Jimin asks the lilac-haired boy, sitting up to face his two friends and Jungkook searches for Taehyung’s gaze, tight-lipped, slightly irritated, warning his friend with his eyes to just shut up.
“You,” Taehyung answers still and Jimin feels his heart drop.
“I- I don’t-“
“We’re going to get attached, I can feel it. I like you already! And we’re going to lose you, and it’ll hurt, so goddamn much!”
“Taehyung,” Jungkook sharply hisses to get his friend to stop but the always so happy boy just throws his hands up in defeat, a troubled frown settling over his features.
“I’ sorry, but I can’t do this! I don’t know how to cope. I chose to laugh, not to mourn, remember?”
“Taehyung…,” Jungkook mumbles again, sadder this time, as the other wipes some angry tears away.
All Jimin can do is just watch, shocked into silence by Taehyung’s unexpected outburst. His wings quiver in nervousness.
“But I… You won’t lose me, TaeTae. I don’t plan on going anywhere!” he finally mutters a little perplexed and Taehyung barks a bitter laugh.
“You chose to protect, right? That boy! That boy is going to ruin you, with letting you down, with losing faith.”
Jungkook sucks a scandalized breath in, hitting Taehyung’s shoulder, hard, but it’s too late and Jimin can feel his soul thrumming in sudden anger, wings rustling and stretching out a little in indignation.
“He’d never do something like that!” he bites back, and although he doesn’t even know the boy with the mint-coloured hair, he’s sure of it because such a sweet face could never do any harm.
A somewhat melancholic smile grows on Taehyung’s face and there are tears brimming at the corners of his eyes again and he just looks so heart-broken all of a sudden, Jimin feels bad immediately.
For some strange reason unknown to the fairy, he feels like crying, too.
“Of course he would. He will! It’s not his fault. He’s just going to grow up.”
Jimin just stares at him, brows furrowing in confusion. Taehyung is talking in riddles right now, and he doesn’t know how to feel about it. He just knows he doesn’t like it.
“Taehyung, enough!” Jungkook suddenly barks, startling the other two with his unusually strong reaction.
“We are not allowed to talk about this.”
“But I-“
“This is not about you! Or me. This is about Jimin and what he feels and needs. Things are… things are already hard enough as it is, so please stop bathing in your self-pity. Don’t you think Jimin deserves all the happiness he can get? Please, stop, for Jimin’s sake at least.”
Jungkook is panting hard and Taehyung just sits there, eyes wide, gnawing on his bottom lip, but silent. Jimin kneels in front of them and looks back and forth between them, so many questions burning on the tip of his tongue - but he keeps quiet, way too scared of the answers - and wills his hands to stop their shaking.
After a while, Taehyung jumps up, boxy grin back in place like nothing ever happened and stretches his hands out for his friends to take.
“Come on, guys, let’s bother the mermaids a little!” he suggests and Jungkook and Jimin exchange a quick glance, coming to a silent agreement.
They take Taehyung’s hands and allow him to drag them away.
They never talk about this afternoon again.
~~~
Hoseok chose to protect, too. He is a tinker fairy just like Jimin, features soft and unnaturally beautiful, stardust oozing off his form, pretty wings growing from his back that are always in movement because he can’t keep still for long.
He is Namjoon’s protector and he is thrilled to hear that Jimin saw ‘his child’ as a reflection in the pond. He gladly decides to help Jimin, always reassuring him when the doubts get the better of him, always entertaining him with little anecdotes of Namjoon’s and his shared escapades and he seems to be quite smitten to be honest.
“You and your boy are going to be like that, too. You don’t need to worry, he will absolutely love you, Jimin. You two are destined to be together. Believe me,” Hoseok tends to say, when Jimin comes flying to him, eyes a little red and puffy, bottom lip quivering, the fright apparent in his entire form.
Jimin is really so glad to have Hoseok, because unlike Taehyung and Jungkook, he can give him some certain kind of seriousness, of maturity. He is always so calm and collected, always has things under control.
It’s easy for Jimin to believe him. The boy with the mint-coloured hair won’t hate him, hopefully.
~~~
“My name is Min Yoongi!”
“What’s your name?”
“What are you doing in my room?”
“You are so beautiful, though!”
“Are you glowing, can I have some of the pretty lights?”
“Can I touch your wings?”
“Are you going to take me with you?”
“Don’t leave me, please!”
“You are so pretty, so, so pretty!”
Jimin really thought the boy might hate him. Despite Hoseok’s reassuring words, although Taehyung and Jungkook promised they’d be fine. He still had the nagging feeling, the silent doubt, that he might won’t be worthy of the boy.
That he is not pretty enough, not interesting enough, not able to protect him, to make him happy.
He was wrong, apparently.
The boy – Yoongi - is currently sitting on his bed, the same awe Jimin feels manifested in his big, expressional eyes, minty hair sticking up in every direction cutely, both hands lifted to touch Jimin’s face, little fingers brushing gently over the curve of his nose, the dip of his cheekbones, his forehead, the back of his closed eyelids, the outer shell if his slightly pointy ears.
Yoongi mutters ‘beautiful’ under his breath again and again and he seems to be just as over-whelmed by the unnatural presence of the fairy as Jimin himself feels. He thought Yoongi would find him weird, that he would be doubtful, wary, maybe downright scared.
But instead his face lit up as soon as he lied eyes upon Jimin, orbs filling with something akin to genuine awe, lips splitting to a bright, gummy smile. He started to bombard Jimin with questions and praise right then, excitement obvious in his giddy movements and his babbling mouth.
Adorable, absolutely adorable!
Jimin is a goner right from the start. He adores Yoongi way too much.
“Are you going to take me with you now?” the little boy asks and Jimin nods, lips stretching to a smile while Yoongi drags his thumbs over them.
“You’re glowing in the dark and your hair looks like it’s on fire… So pretty! I’m the sea and you can be the sunset!”
Yoongi giggles and Jimin feels his heart swell with affection and he acts on instinct, slinging both his arms around the boy’s neck and drawing him into a spontaneous hug. Yoongi tenses up for a second, caught off-guard, but then he melts into the other’s arms, humming in content when Jimin rests his forehead against his shoulder.
“You’re warm,” he mumbles softly, patting the back of Jimin’s head, stardust scattering in all directions.
“I’m going to take you with me for the entirety of this night. And I’ll come back from now on, all night, every night. I can sense your distress, Yoongi, I know you want to have a break from your stressful daily routine, you want to let loose, you want to feel free, at least for a few hours. I can give you that during the nights. Yoongi, I just want you to be happy. Let me take you to Neverland, please? Let me protect you? Pretty please?”
Jimin is rambling and Yoongi interrupts him with pressing a cute little peck to his forehead, giggling at the younger fairy’s dumb-folded expression.
“It’s okay. I trust you, Jimin. Lead the way, I’ll follow.”
He frees himself from Jimin’s arms gently, to take both of his hands in his own, linking their fingers together, and Jimin stands up, a relieved smile growing on his face, dragging Yoongi with him.
“Okay! It will be so much fun, I can’t wait to see your face once you take everything in,” Jimin giggles, letting go of one of Yoongi’s hands to collect some stardust off of his body and before the mint-haired boy can question what he’s doing, he blows the stardust right into his face.
Yoongi is ready to rub his eyes and cough, but strangely enough, the urge doesn’t hit him and when he opens his eyes again – he closed them on instinct – the pretty sparks don’t lie in a puddle around his feet, they rather stick to his form like a second layer of skin.
“Now I’m glowing like Jimin… We are both pretty now,” he murmurs quietly in awe, and Jimin’s face lights up at his adorable reaction.
“What’s the purpose though? How are we going to get to Never… Neverland?”
Jimin laughs quietly, his wings jumping to life and rising to their full height. The stardust covering Yoongi’s body starts to gloom with more intensity and Yoongi feels so light all of a sudden, as if he has no weight at all.
“What do you think, silly?” Jimin giggles, taking the other’s hands again.
“We are going to fly there, of course!”
~~~
The more time Jimin gets to spend with Yoongi, the deeper his adoration runs.
Yoongi is just so special! He’s kind-hearted and has a sharp wit and a sensitive soul. He’s very clever and artsy, too.
Instead of playing with the other boys - who are always on the run, loud, always in movement - Yoongi likes to sit down under a tree or lie in the warm grass once in a while, always equipped with some paper and pencils, drawing the clouds or – most of the time – writing poems and melodies.
Jimin enjoys to sit with him for hours without talking much, just watching his hands do their magic that is so different to Jimin’s but no less fascinating because of that.
Yoongi looks up from his work from time to time, to throw lingering glances and genuine smiles in Jimin’s direction and he looks so carefree and relaxed, so happy, the tinker fairy feels his heart jump in joy, too.
The changes are only minimal and slow at first, but they are there nevertheless: the theme of Yoongi’s workings is switching, first he draws random animals and flowers – things with no deeper meaning, that are not bound to him in any way - then fireflies, autumn leaves flapping in the wind, sparkles, wings, Jimin.
In the end, always Jimin.
Jimin in detail, his profile, his smiling face and thoughtful expression, when he’s sleeping, talking to or playing with his friends, sometimes just a part of him, his eyes or his hands. Sometimes as a portrait, hair fiery and glooming, skin glowing, sometimes in full height, elegant movements and gorgeous wings captured on paper.
His poems become more meaningful too, they talk about affection and love, desire and hope, sunsets and fire in all kinds of forms, but always about its positive aspects, its beauty and the fascination that comes with it.
They have a quality unusual for a child his age, he is barely seven years old but he draws and writes like a grown-up. It makes Jimin’s adoration for the other only grow and grow, especially when Yoongi’s attention focusses on him, when he is the one always on the other’s mind as well.
Jimin is not the only one feeling a strong pull, Yoongi is getting attached, too.
They lie side by side on their stomachs in the grass, Jimin’s wings glistening in the sun, Yoongi humming faintly and working on a new drawing in deep concentration. Jimin has his head pillowed on his crossed arms and watches him patiently, small smile grazing his lips.
Yoongi looks up then, their eyes meeting, and the mint-haired boy shows the other the piece of paper, gnawing on his bottom lip as he waits for a reaction.
Jimin, looking over his shoulder, the exact moment brought to paper when surprise switches to happy recognition, smile bright and eyes alive.
Jimin can’t stop the broad grin growing on his face and Yoongi returns it with a gummy smile of his own.
There is no denying it any longer. Right now, Jimin is happy.
~~~
Hoseok… is different than usual. Jimin didn’t notice at first, because things with Yoongi were new and exhausting at first and he may have neglected his friends for a little while, but now, two weeks later with Yoongi visiting the island every night, Jimin has gotten a hang of the routine and he can spend more time with his friends again.
Taehyung and Jungkook are their usual carefree selves, spending as much time with Jimin as possible, but Hoseok… he seems worried.
He looks older. There are deep lines of worry drawn to his forehead, eyes a little melancholic and sad, although his smile is still as giant as ever.
Jimin needs a little while, but he figures it out eventually.
Namjoon.
Jimin hasn’t seen the lanky boy in ages.
He’s scared to ask Hoseok about it, at first, but he eventually has to. He’s worried for his friend.
It’s the first time Jimin sees somebody cry on this island. It’s the first time Jimin sees anybody cry, in general. He is deeply disturbed by it, because Hoseok looks so pained, so upset and for the first time in his life, Jimin doesn’t know what to do.
“Namjoon is growing up, Jimin. We can’t help it, that’s the ordinary run of things. The older he grows, the stronger he gets. He doesn’t need protection anymore. I’m so proud of him, but at the same time… I can’t help but be selfish… I somehow wish we could have more time…”
They sit in the shadows of a big tree, Hoseok’s head on Jimin’s lap and the other fairy blinks up at him, taking a deep sigh. He reaches for the orange-haired boy’s hands, squeezing them tightly as if he wants to provide comfort to him for something that is about to come.
“Jimin listen… I think it’s about time I tell you an important story. A story about tinker fairies and their humans, about growing up and getting left behind. About the curse of forgetting and being forgotten and about how protection means to sometimes sacrifice.”
They sit for a long time under this tree, Hoseok talking and Jimin listening and at the end of it, they are both crying and Jimin realizes how bitter tears taste.
This afternoon changes everything. It explains Taehyung’s strange outburst a while ago and he’s looking at Yoongi in a completely different light. (It changes absolutely nothing at the same time, too, because even after everything Hoseok told him, he still can’t treat Yoongi differently. He’s in far too deep for that.)
It makes him treat his life differently too, makes him value his time more. He feels bad all of a sudden. He told Taehyung he wouldn’t leave them anytime soon but now he knows… it’s a promise he won’t be able to keep.
He sees Hoseok a few nights later, holding hands with Namjoon and Jimin notices only then for the first time, how grown both of them look. Namjoon is barely a child anymore. But Hoseok looks happy…
Happy and carefree and for once not bothered by the dark thoughts haunting him for a while now.
Jimin and Hoseok both now that nights like these will get rarer and rarer, that things are not magically fixed because Namjoon returned for once, but Hoseok seems determined to be the one to forget for one night, and Jimin respects that.
If Hoseok wants blissful illusion, blissful illusion is what he gets.
~~~
The older Yoongi gets, the more Jimin grows, too. They are almost ten years old now, and they spent the last three years, every night, together.
It’s a sign of how deeply their connection actually runs, of how dependant Jimin is. Yoongi is setting the agenda and Jimin follows, Yoongi moves on and Jimin always waits.
It’s how things are. It’s what will decide Jimin’s destiny in the end.
Happy endings are not for creatures like him.
~~~
“Hoseok is dying,” Jimin whispers one night, curled up against Yoongi’s side who’s concentrated on the paper and pen in his hands. He perks up at Jimin’s words though – seemingly shocked.
“What do you mean?”
“His light is weak and he barely smiles anymore. He is fading, Yoongi, disappearing right in front of our eyes and we can’t do anything about it. He will die and I- I’m just so scared…”
He turns into Yoongi, hiding his face against the other’s chest, shoulders shaking lightly and Yoongi drapes his arms around him, hugging him close and rocking him gently, cooing sweet words of love and affection into his glowing, orange hair, until the fairy has calmed down again.
“I still don’t understand, though… Why would Hoseok- without reason…”
“Namjoon.”
“Excuse me?”
Yoongi knows who Namjoon is, of course. They often played together when Yoongi wasn’t busy with drawing or writing and he really took a liking to Namjoon’s dreamy personality.
“Namjoon is forgetting about him, so more often than not nowadays, when Hoseok tries to pick him up, Namjoon doesn’t even see him.”
“But… he is there.”
“Yeah he is… But at the same time… he is not.”
Jimin sits up and pushes away from Yoongi, drawing his knees up to his chest and hugging them with both arms, resting his forehead on his arms.
“I’m scared…” he mumbles and Yoongi has to lean forward a little, to actually understand him.
“I’m scared, because the same thing will happen to me, you’re going to forget me, you’re going to stop believing in my existence, and that’s what will kill me in the end. It’s how fairies die, when the humans lose faith into them. I know it will happen. I know it! And yet… I still can’t get loose from you!”
Yoongi stops his rambling with sliding both his arms around his shoulders, hugging him close.
“We are going to be different, Jimin! I’m going to be different. I’m sure of it. Because I love you way too much, to just forget about you!”
He sounds so confident, so convinced of his words, Jimin is tempted to just believe him.
Yoongi surprises him with something else.
He reaches behind himself, to where he dropped his sheets to the ground and picks one up, to give it to Jimin, who takes it with shaking hands.
“I wrote that, for you,” the mint-haired boy mutters shyly, and Jimin needs a second at first, to make out the different words through the unshed tears burning at the corners of his eyes, but he finally manages to read:
“I am building
the Neverland
for you
and me
Don’t go anywhere.
I will take you there.
Stay where
you stand until then
with your star.”
Jimin reads the neat lines again and again, actual tears burning on his cheeks now, his heart swelling with pain and love and he turns towards Yoongi, at a loss of what to say.
“You’re that star, Jimin. You’re that star,” Yoongi murmurs.
“I will never leave you, I will never forget about you.”
Jimin wants to desperately believe him. He really does. But he can’t.
~~~
Hoseok disappears a few days later. Nobody knows how, exactly. He just says that he feels tired and that he wants to be alone for a little while, only to never return.
Taehyung and Jungkook are devastated, but Jimin is surprisingly calm. He was waiting for it, to be honest. He resigned days ago, when the last of Hoseok’s original fire left his eyes, and he just looked at them all like they were strangers to him.
Hoseok is dead for a long while now, actually. At least when Jimin thinks about it now.
That thought alone allows him to finally cry.
~~~
Things go well for another couple of months, after that. But the circle of life has to continue, and destiny has really no time to watch out for the concerns of one single human boy and his tinker fairy. Things take their usual turn.
It takes years, of course. First, Yoongi just skips single nights, when he is allowed to stay up a little longer at night, when he has sleepovers with his friends. Jimin will remember the first night Yoongi refused to come with him for the rest of his life, every single detail, because the other’s rejection was like a slap to his face and although Yoongi tried to reassure him – that it’s just this one night and he will never miss another again – Jimin knows the signs when he sees them. It’s the beginning of the downfall. Things get only worse after that. Singe nights turn into two or three in a row, two or three turn into a week.
Yoongi feels guilty, because he has to admit to himself, sometimes Jimin doesn’t even cross his mind anymore. He can sense the fairy’s pain, can see it in his eyes, his drawings become less colourful with Jimin’s fading light, his poems turns more dark as they talk about anxiety and loss. He’s not as close to Jimin as he was a year ago.
He’s going to get Jimin killed, because he is just a human and his mind is weak, and the fear of being the other’s cause of misery and grief is strong enough to drive him only further away.
Yoongi starts to grow older and his visits to Neverland become less and less. He spends his nights staying up, learning for tests, working on his music, chatting with a nice girl from his class that he might have a crush on.
He still thinks about Jimin sometimes, looks at his endless drawings and the poems and songs he wrote for him, but as it is with growing up and losing the power of imagination, he starts to believe that his adventures to Neverland only happened in his dreams. Jimin is a piece of his mind, a beautiful piece, but nothing real, after all.
He still thinks of Jimin sometimes. But most of the time… he just doesn’t.
Jimin is not that important anymore.
It’s cruel, but it’s the truth.
~~~
Yoongi is forgetting about Jimin and Jimin is growing weak. As Yoongi’s faith in this world starts to flicker and crumble, the light surrounding Jimin, the stardust sticking to his form flickers and withers, too.
He barely uses his wings anymore, it’s just too exhausting to fly.
Taehyung and Jungkook try to take his mind off of things, they want to play with him like they always used to, running around, climbing on trees, swimming in the sea – but Jimin has to decline, almost every time. He is just in no condition to move around much.
Nowadays just walking a few steps without help is enough to bring cold sweat to his forehead.
Jimin is always tired lately. He sleeps more often than not and Jungkook told him once that Taehyung sometimes checks his pulse, because he is so pale and looks so miserable and exhausted in his sleep, they are always afraid he won’t wake up on them again.
Jimin jerks awake to the sounds of quiet weeping, but his mind is still hazy with sleep and he can’t bring his eyes to focus. It’s getting dark, but Jimin’s form is no longer bright enough to lighten up his surroundings. His head rests on folded legs and something tiny and wet drops on his gaunt cheeks.
Tears. Taehyung is crying quietly, obviously convinced that Jimin is fast asleep.
The fairy fights for conscience, wants to take his friend’s hand and soothe his pain, but he is so exhausted and his eyes fall shut again. Darkness overwhelms him, once again.
~~~
It’s one day, when Jimin shoots up from his sleep – all alone on the little glade, because the others didn’t want to disturb his rest - suddenly wide awake and frightened to death, that he can feel it: If nothing changes, if Yoongi doesn’t remember him once again, Jimin won’t see another sunrise again.
The tinker fairy stumbles to his feet, weak but with the new strength of desperation, and he knows he is an idiot, because the outcome is going to be the same, no matter what he tries.
Still, he starts his journey to the human realm, to visit Yoongi for one last time, to try and get him to remember. Jimin doesn’t want to die. He is scared, so scared…
Yoongi… once Yoongi sees him, he will remember. He will think of his promise, to be different, to keep Jimin in his thoughts for the rest of his life. Jimin always protected Yoongi, but now it’s Jimin who needs protection, for once.
Protecting means to sacrifice…
Hoseok’s words as a faint whisper against Jimin’s ear. He feels the bile rising in his throat, his wings shaking with effort, fading stardust paling even more.
His landing is everything but gracious, he crashes to the floor in Yoongi’s room, drained of all energy, and he needs a moment to catch his breath. After a few minutes he rolls over so that he is lying on his side, before he pushes himself in a sitting position and getting up then, using Yoongi’s cupboard for support. Jimin’s knees buckle and almost give out on him, but he grits his teeth and turns his head.
Yoongi is sitting at his desk, back facing Jimin, head bobbing slightly in rhythm with the quiet melody he hums, deeply focussed on his work.
He doesn’t even flinch at Jimin’s loud entry. In fact, he doesn’t seem to hear it. Of course. He doesn’t believe in Jimin anymore, he isn’t able to see him, any longer. Jimin can shout and beg as much as he wants, his attempts are all in vain.
Yoongi went on to a place where Jimin can’t reach him anymore.
God, he is so stupid!
He thought… His last chance…
He never had a chance to begin with. Yoongi doesn’t see him. He doesn’t remember.
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
He breaks, right then and there, when realisation hits him. He stayed composed all this time, always determined to keep it together, to cause nobody grief, but right here, in the same room with Yoongi but with more walls between them than ever, he gives in.
He falls to his knees with a broken wail, face contorting in deep conflict and agony, hands going up to bury in his orange-coloured locks. His mouth opens and a scream rips from his throat.
Jimin is going to die.
His body keeps shaking, tears burning on his cheeks. Yoongi sits there, blissfully unaware, while Jimin goes through hell a few metres away from him.
His drawings of Jimin, his poems of their love are all gone now. He put them aside long ago, and moved on. His motives are more trivial again, people, landscapes. He seems happy…
Without Jimin, he seems happy.
The fairy clutches at his chest desperately, wants to claw his heart out and for the sorrow to stop.
Yoongi is all grown up. He doesn’t need protection anymore. Jimin is proud…
The pain is not as sudden and stabbing anymore, it fades to a deep, constant ache that has his body reeling and his soul quivering in his chest.
Yoongi doesn’t need him anymore. There is nothing left for Jimin.
He picks himself off the ground, still wiping tears from his cold cheeks that won’t stop falling, but a lot calmer now. In shock. Numb. He feels like a zombie. A candle that burned out. He is tired now. He just wants to go to sleep.
He looks back at Yoongi’s form one last time, his mint-coloured hair, relaxed shoulders moving as his hand with the pen practically flies over the paper and he is the sea and Jimin is the sunset, and Jimin’s sun has sunk behind the horizon now.
He turns around and leaves and he will never come back here again.
When he returns to Neverland, his friends await him and he shakes them off with a weak smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. He just says that he feels tired and that he wants to be alone for a little while. He will never return to them again.
Sinking down on his favourite spot in the shadows of the big oak, Jimin reflects his short life. He should have chosen to live and he could have given his life a purpose. He should have chosen to laugh and he would still be here, together with Jungkook and Taehyung, carefree and happy.
He thinks about Yoongi, all the nights they spent with each other, how content the other looked just moments ago, that Jimin got lucky enough to accompany him on a part of his way.
He doesn’t regret. If he could choose all over again, he still would pick to protect.
Jimin settles back and closes his eyes, finally at peace with everything. His body stills. The last sparks die out, his body made of magic starts to dissolve with the wind, until nothing is left.
Jimin was born from stardust and light.
He dies of loneliness and a broken heart.
(We come alone and alone we die.)
~~~
It’s a busy day in the city and Yoongi is late for class. He hurries across the main square of the city, wriggling along between people, to reach his bus in time, when he bumps into someone.
The impact is hard enough to make him stumble back a few steps and he looks up, an apology already burning on the tip of his tongue. Whatever he wanted to say dies in his throat though, as his eyes fall upon the boy he bumped into.
He has lilac hair and his eyes are sad, smile so crooked and watery, Yoongi feels a shudder running down his spine. He has the faint feeling that he should know this boy, but he can’t quite put his finger on it, why.
Before he can come up with a question, the boy opens his mouth and starts to speak:
“I shouldn’t be here, actually. This is against the rules, and you won’t remember anyway… but he was special to me and he… He would’ve wanted you to have this. So here.”
The boy lifts his hand, a crinkled, single sheet of paper between thumb and pointer finger and Yoongi takes it after short hesitation. It’s a poem. But the handwriting… Isn’t it his? His brows furrow as his eyes fly over the lines.
“I am building
the Neverland
for you
and me
Don’t go anywhere.
I will take you there.
Stay where
you stand until then
with your star.”
Under the poem, in completely different handwriting, letters big and slightly crooked, stays one more sentence. Yoongi doesn’t know why, but his heart clenches as he reads it again and again.
“I wished to be that star for you.”
Something moves deep inside of him, the idea of something once lost, the ghost of a memory and he tries to chase it, tries to grasp it, sunsets and stars coming to his mind, the flicker of bright orange, dark eyes searching his, a deep, heart-felt laugh vibrating in his ears.
He can’t help but think that he forgot something very important.
Yoongi looks up to ask the strange boy for help, but he is gone, not a single trace left of him. Weird. Yoongi searches his surroundings, but nothing. The boy just disappeared. Yoongi wants to look down on the poem again, when he catches sight of his bus rolling into the station out of the corner of his eyes.
Oh shit!
Without thinking much, he crushes the paper in his hand and stuffs into the pocket of his jacket, breaking out into a spontaneous sprint.
Five minutes later, he sits safely in the bus, out of breath but also relieved, looking out of the window and enjoying the beautiful day.
The sheet of paper resting inside his jacket pocket doesn’t even cross his mind again.