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“If I had really hurt you, it would have been the biggest regret of my life.”
When the words ended, you couldn’t ease the nausea and coldness that settled in your stomach and back. It wasn’t because of the cold cemetery—it came from the person standing in front of you. Your heart beat so fast, you couldn’t tell whether it came from your chest or your soul.
So... this is goodbye? you thought to yourself, your feet frozen to the ground as snowflakes trickled down. You took a step forward, trying to reach him—the person who had always been there for you, your safe space, no matter where you were.
But his gaze was cold, unwavering, despite the softness of his voice. You gritted your teeth as tears flooded your vision. You grabbed your pants and shook your head.
“No.”
“No? What do you mean?” His voice betrayed him. You knew he didn’t want this, just as much as you didn’t.
Seeing your body tremble from the cold and the storm of emotions inside you, Zayne took a step forward. He couldn’t leave you like this. No. He couldn’t.
He grabbed your hand and led you to his car. Warmth. His hand was so warm. Hope, you thought. A flicker of hope.
The drive to your apartment was silent. Zayne kept his eyes on the road while you held his hand—never letting go, as if the moment you did, he would vanish.
You both walked to your apartment. Once he typed in your passcode, the door opened and you stepped inside. In a heartbeat, you pushed him against the door and slammed your hand beside him.
“NO.” Your voice thundered through the silent apartment, followed by a tear slipping down your cheek as you gazed lovingly at his face. “No, I will not let you leave me. Not again!” Your voice trembled like a plea.
Zayne returned your gaze with sadness. He stroked your cheek with the back of his fingers, holding in emotions that had long been buried.
“I don’t want to hurt you again.” His voice was both a balm and a poison to your wound.
“And you think leaving me like this won’t hurt me?!” You dropped your head against his chest, grounding yourself in the fact that he was still here—with you. His hand rested on the back of your head, stroking your hair the way you liked it.
“This is hard for me too. I don’t want to leave you.”
“Then don’t! Zayne... please...” You looked up at him, tears already streaming.
“What if what happened today repeats in the future? Seeing you hurt—and knowing I caused it?”
One of Zayne’s hands cradled your head while the other held your waist, pulling you close. He leaned his head against the door behind him, his eyes wandering around the apartment. His cardigan on the hanger. The mugs you both bought—the ones you always used after long, stressful days. The kalimba. All the memories you created here, now flashing before him. But instead of laughter, only your hiccup-filled sobs echoed through the room as you clung to his chest.
“I’ll be stronger. I’ll sharpen my reflexes so it won’t ever happen again,” you whispered, desperate to change his mind. “Maybe you think you're saving me from future pain, but I know I won’t survive... not without you.”
Zayne took a deep breath and carried you like you weighed nothing to your bedroom—the place that had, over the past months, become his own refuge. His home.
“How did you find me?”
“When I woke up at Akso and found out you resigned, I ran. I ran to your home, to the bakery and the café we used to visit—but you weren’t there. So I went back to your place and asked Shiqi for help. He led me to the cemetery.”
You told him everything as he knelt in front of you, gently checking the wound he had caused. Zayne pressed his face to your stomach. Your bodies were so different in size, it almost looked unreal. That’s when you felt it—a warm drop on your thigh, followed by another. Zayne was crying in front of you, whispering apologies.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
You closed your eyes, hugging his head and resting your chin on him.
“It’s not your fault. None of it is your fault. Whether it’s William, the Alterums, or what happened to me—it was never your fault. I’m begging you, stop blaming yourself for something you didn’t do.”
Zayne's hands clutched your waist as he nodded silently. You exhaled in relief and kissed the top of his head.
Your bedroom filled with quiet sobs as the snowstorm outside slowly calmed.