Chapter Text
She sat in her bedroom, waiting. Yearning, even. The night was loud outside her window, the sound of the wind and crickets seeping through the cracked open window. There she waited, just like every night. She would say that it's tiring, but it's always worth it whenever she hears the hoofbeats steadily growing closer, knowing that it's Arthur.
Sitting at her vanity in front of her window, she kept her eyes on the darkness outside. Any time she heard a twig snap in the distance, or anything that could in any way give away the existence of another person within a mile range, her heart jumped. Not in fear, but in excitement. That her lover could be near.
~×~×~×~×~×~
At the sound of hoofbeats and a voice, her head shot up from where it was drowsily laying against the top of the vanity, half asleep.
"Am I going to have to carry you to bed?"
A familiar, amused tone decorated the voice which was carried by an even more familiar face, right outside her window. A smile instinctively cracked across her face, urging her out of her chair to run to the window.
"Arthur!"
Her finger curled around the window seal, grinning down at him.
"You get inside, you foolish man!" She said with a laugh. "Come and warm yourself!"
She practically scolded him like a mother, which happened almost every time they were together. He needed rather a lot of scolding. Still, her upturned lips stayed in their place.
Leaving the window and running across her house, she stepped onto her front porch, greeted by the sight of Arthur leading his horse to the hitches. Just a few yards away. Finally here. With her.
He torturously walked up the porch stairs, met just a few seconds later with her sprinting into his chest, arms flung over his shoulders. Her hands moved to the back of his head, turning his head down just enough to look at her, his eyes, the melting pot of greens and blues, looking like Earth itself, meeting her dark brown ones. Her eyes were dark enough to be indistinguishable from her pupils, like they were permanently dilated, always showing her love to him any time her eyes met him. His smile, warm enough to compare to the embrace itself, stayed put as his head tilted down to press his lips against the top of her head.
"Missed you, Naomi." His voice was slightly muffled by her hair, but even if the words weren't clear, his intentions and emotions were.
"Then maybe you should have visited sooner." She pulled his head back to give him an actual kiss. He had left her for months, there was no way in hell that all she was only to get was a peck on the head. Still, with her desperation, she pulled back.
"Where were you?!"
His eyes darted to the side, making her feel a bit of regret, yet still, irritation bubbled through.
"Sorry, I've been... busy. With work."
Work.
The same excuse she'd been given every time she had the stupidity to ask.
"Right..." She swallowed, mirroring him in avoiding eye contact. He never gave her a clear answer when she asked about his work. When they first met, he cleverly dodged around the question, charmingly even. Him and the other man he was with were simply doing odd jobs. Looking for any and all work just to make a buck. And yet, he was never at her ranch. It had work, and plenty of it, but no. He stayed away.
Placing another kiss against his lips, she tugged him forward, replacing the smile on her lips.
"Come on, let's get you inside."
~×~×~×~×~×~
He was gone too long for simple small talk, each step inside the house accompanied by another peck on him. On the cheek, on the jaw, shoulder, wherever. It wasn't lust filled, no, just loving.
"I have a gift for you." He spoke with a small chuckle as another kiss stamped onto his jaw. Gently swatting her hand away, he sat her down onto a chair in her living room, moving to sit beside her. Reaching into his satchel, he pulled out a box, the quality of it much too fancy compared to the satchel itself, which was decorated in dirt matted furs and leather. With a light smile, he placed it into her lap.
"Go ahead," He nodded to her. "open it."
~×~×~×~×~×~
Oh God.
He was in deep shit.
He had killed and robbed most likely hundreds, and yet, this is what made his heart beat out of his chest. Made him sweat nervously.
Still, it made him...
happy.
He was absolutely terrified out of his mind, and internally scolding himself too, but he was happy.
Giving him another hesitant but amused side glance, she slowly cracked open the box, lifting the lid to find a necklace inside. It was expensive to say the least, green gemstones encased in delicate gold, the perfect shades to compliment her completion, desperately stared at by Arthur for weeks in the shop window before he had the guts to buy it. He had had it tucked away for a while, waiting for the next time he saw her, but that was months ago.
Months.
God, it's been too long, hasn't it?
She's probably mad at him.
Rightfully so, I mean, it's a miracle that she was able to stand him for so long before all of that time passed.
His head was shaken out of that never ending current by her voice, quivering, but recognizably joyful.
"Arthur..." A swallow, a smile. He stared at that smile as he carefully placed the necklace around her neck, reaching around her to clasp the back.
Oh Lord above, that smile...
"It's... beautiful." Not a smile, a grin. A gorgeous, unfiltered grin. It was honest, white as snow. He swore he could look at that face every day for the rest of his life and he'd never tire of it.
That's what he's here for. A chance at that.
Focus.
He cleared his throat, his hand reaching up to the back of his neck anxiously. He gave a small nod, his own smile growing across his face.
"M'glad you like it, but there's one more thing."
Her lips parted, suspicious, hesitant, but still quirked up. Her expression stayed the same as he pulled out another box. This one was a bit more simple, most likely not as expensive as the necklace was. It was plain, yet sturdy. It did its job. He cleared his throat, his nervous sweat coming back as he felt as if his throat collapsed in on itself.
"More jewelry?" She raised an eyebrow teasingly. "Now don't you go too far, I might take it as you thinkin I'm materialistic." His eyes widened as his words faltered, tripping as they fell out.
"No— no, I just—"
"I was just joking, Arthur." Her palm came up to her chest, the tips of her fingers brushing against the cold metal of the necklace, just above her heart, missing it by an inch.
"Right..." He breathed out as an inaudible sigh, teeth showing as he nodded. He fidgeted with the corners of the box in his hands, trying to find the words that he had been rehearsing since the day he knew he loved her.
"Naomi, I love you. So so much that it hurts. That it hurts that I can't be here, with you, every moment of my life." One of his hands left the box to find her, stringing his fingers around her hand. He swallowed once again, trying to cure his dry throat. "So I want to make sure that that never happens again. That neither of us are apart."
Good Lord above, give him strength, if he was even willing to help a horrible man like him.
"I want to give you something more... permanent." With a stuttered breath, he gently opened the box, revealing a ring.
It definitely wasn't as expensive as the necklace, but it was good. It was sturdy. Strong. Able to stand the test of time.
He didn't dare look up at her face. Maybe he was scared of what he would find. Maybe.
"I want you to take this," Cautiously, maybe even shakily, he took ahold of her hand, slipping the ring onto her finger. "I want you... to keep this, to remember that you are always in my heart,"
He was never good with this sappy shit.
"and to remember that, hopefully, I am always in yours." He finally took the risk of looking up to her face, and he didn't know if his heart soared or fell. Tears welled and fell down her cheeks, dripping messily off her chin as she grinned, a look that she tried with her hardest to hold back, though it was rather unsuccessful. Once he finished his overly thought out monologue, she violently nodded her head, looking at him with those continuously dilated, continuously loving eyes.
Once she took it all in, she quickly leaned forward to grab him, pulling him forward into her arms with a noise somewhere between a sob and a laugh. With his own tears daring to start appearing, he mirrored her in bringing his arms around her, resting his chin on top of her head.
They stayed there. It might have been two minutes that they stayed like that, maybe twenty minutes, maybe an hour.
It didn't really matter.
Nothing was spoken. They didn't look at each other's faces. They didn't kiss. All they did was hold each other tight, and didn't move an inch.
It was silent for a while, until a mumble broke through, the words mumbled through her hair, just like his first words when they reunited.
"Did I really make you start crying?"
That drew out a laugh from her as she pulled away just enough to meet his face, her still shaking fingers hovering by his face to wipe away his welling tears.
"Yes, I'm crying," She gave him a playful shove. "If you don't want me crying, make your next proposal less emotional, I don't know—" That smile was still there. "Besides, you were crying too, you big crybaby." He was about to protest when she spoke up again, her voice a bit softer this time.
"Luckily for you, I like kids."
Oh of course she had to say that. Triggering those dreams to spark up once again. Kids, a family, a normal life. Sharing his life with her.
His life.
He didn't have a normal life,
and she sure as hell didn't deserve the life he did have.
...
What was he thinking?
Dragging her into all of that?
Without her even knowing?
She deserved better than that.
"Naomi... there's something I got to tell you."
~×~×~×~×~×~
His face changed. It wouldn't have been noticeable to an outsider, but she knew those eyes. She saw the change in them. Something was wrong, and his words confirmed it.
"Promise you won't think differently about me."
That was weird. She wouldn't say that he was the most self-confident person in the world, but he was never like this.
"There is nothing that could make me lose my love for you." She pressed a kiss against his forehead. "I'm sure." She never was the brightest bulb. He grimaced, looking down at his lap as he shook his head.
"I've been... keeping something from you— lying to you." She looked at him with a serious face, but she didn't really believe him. He didn't lie to her, mostly because she could always tell when he was lying.
"You look like you don't believe me."
"Because I don't. You don't lie. You're a good man, a good person. You don't do... wrong, not as far as I've seen."
There was almost anger in his eyes. Irritation. There was something else too; it was somber. Slowly released through his expression, like water dripping from a leaky tap. She never had noticed it before, but it was always there. Always screaming for his attention in the back of his mind.
"Because you haven't seen it." He swallowed down the invisible barrier in his throat that was attempting to make him mute. He needed to say this. "I've been lying about my 'job'."
"I'm a criminal. An outlaw. I con, rob, hell— I've killed more people than I can count. I'm in a gang."
She had a small frown on her face, not moving further from him, but not moving closer to comfort him like she normally would either. She looked him up and down, studying him.
"I don't believe you." She muttered, practically a whisper.
"You don't believe me?" He scoffed, "Are you really that dull?" There it was again, that anger, though it was more pure this time, not tainted with sadness.
"Yes, maybe I am!" She stood up, fists clenched, the ring on her finger like a brass knuckle, bringing down an even heavier blow onto him.
He loved her. She loved him, trusted him.
He should have told her.
"Maybe I am dull, because I cannot believe that you can kiss me one moment and then shoot a man without a second thought the next! That isn't you— I can't even imagine you like that—"
"Then you don't know me!" He snapped, jumping up to stand across from her, his taught reaction to fight breaking free.
...
There was silence.
Heavy breathing and the still present sounds of the wind and crickets outside being the only audible sounds.
A sucked in breath, a quivering voice.
"Arthur, get out of my house."
His eyes widened, his anger quickly dissipating into dread and desperation. He reached out a hand to pull her closer once again, but he faltered, stopping himself. Naomi didn't move; she stayed in place.
"Wait, no— please just listen—"
"Arthur, please. Just— go."
It felt like this body was trying to collapse in on itself. His lungs too squished to breathe, his muscles tense. He wanted to say something, any of the words that were swimming around in his head, but he said nothing. All he did was nod and step around her, out the door.
Once the door creaked closed, she turned around to look at where he just was. The man that she stayed up for every night, hoping he'd come, hoping that she'd be able to see his face. She just forced him out. With an exhale, she fell back into the chair, tears still running down and tickling her face, like he was still there, touching her.