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“I did everything I could. It just happened” Kenny said while lying on his back on tall grass as the group was taking a break from all the walking.
Kenny looked at the sky at the passing white clouds on the blue canvas with a thoughtful expression.
“I mean, it could have happened to anyone right? Everything was just so hectic at that moment” He reasoned.
“We know, Kenny. Don’t blame yourself so much.”
“Yeah, if only Lee would have been up his game more. We were under attack, and he lost focus. If anything, it was on him what happened.”
“I think it’s a bit unreasonable to blame it on Lee”
“Okay, well who’s fault was it then? Mine?”
“It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”
“There is always a reason for everything. I should have been faster with fixing the RV, we would have been far away from the group and from that witch on her ivory tower. Hell, maybe even Carley would still be alive.”
“Or they all would be dead because the RV was their only means for escape.”
“I guess, but do I really give a shit?” Kenny said nonchalantly.
“You can’t really mean that.”
“Why? My family is dead; they were not my family.”
“What about Clementine? You feel indifferent towards her too? How about Lee, he was your friend was he not?”
Kenny thought for a good while. One of the darker clouds he was looking at started to remind him of Lee.
“Well obviously I cared about Clem, but Lee?” Kenny scoffed. “That ass didn’t even had my back at the freezer. I was the only one who was thinking straight at that moment.”
“He did have your back on multiple other occasions though.”
“Yeah, and what did it get me?” Kenny said in anger as he took his gaze from the clouds.
“What should you have gotten from it then exactly?
“Well, some respect for starters. I trusted him to have my back, and he totally failed me.” Kenny huffed.
Kenny waited for a bit, but didn’t get a response. Then he continued.
“Then that overgrown totem pole had the actual nerve to talk back at me. Like I would be the one that is in the wrong. Can you believe that? I lost my whole family, and this teen comes at me and tells me to shut up after all I have gone through, not to mention the shit he has done himself to the group” Kenny continued.
“Kenny, you are not the only one who have lost people and is suffering. Ben also had his own struggles, and he admitted that he did wrong. Stop blaming others and pitying yourself all the time.”
Kenny’s expression turned into anger.
“You know what? Fuck you Sam. Why do I even expect you to understand?
“I just tried to help, you idiot. Don’t take it on me if the truth hurts so much.”
“We should have never taken you under our care. I gave you countless belly rubs and tick removals and this is how you repay me? You are just like Lee and the others.”
“Oh look, once again blaming others.”
“Shut the hell up! You don’t…”
Sam mocked Kenny by panting with his tongue out, grinning and then licking his face.
“Just…just fuck off…get the hell away from me.” Kenny stood up rapidly and wiped his face with his hand.
Sam strolled behind Kenny and followed him as he was now approaching Christa and Clementine. Both were sitting on the tree log, chatting.
“We are getting rid of this flea ridden dog right now!” Kenny demanded and pointed at Sam who was sitting next to him, his ears turning as he listened Kenny’s rage.
Christa and Clementine looked at Sam and then at Kenny.
“What happened?” Christa asked in confusion.
“He doesn’t understand what I…” Kenny started and then glanced at Sam next to him.
He looked at Sam for a while who met Kenny’s eyes and started panting again. Kenny turned back to Christa and Clementine.
“You know what? It’s nothing.”
Kenny turned around and started walking away.
“Kenny, you need to ease up a bit.” Christa said as Kenny’s back was turned.
Kenny stopped
“About what?”
“We know about the pouch you carry, the things you pick up from the ground when you think we are not looking.” Christa mentioned with a concerned voice. Like a teacher scolding a student.
Kenny turned around. Clementine looked at the ground and frowned, not wanting to take part of the conversation.
“So what? It’s the only thing keeping me together. To get some release of this constant gloom around our heads. It makes me happy and sane at least for a while.” Kenny tried to explain, although he wasn’t sure if he believed it himself.
“Clearly.” Kenny heard from next to him followed by a sound of scratching and a rattle of a collar.
“Can you get off my back, Christa? You are always scolding people and thinking you know better. How about you finally teach Clementine how to make the fire, rather than chitchat and doing nothing?”
“Oh, that’s rich. Go ahead and continue to gaze on the clouds some more. Besides, why don’t you teach Clem anything for a change? How about you give her the lesson for once or are you too used for women doing all the child caring? Is that how it works for you?”
“You are out of line. I cared for Duck as much as Katjaa did!” Kenny pointed at Christa.
There was a short pause as they were looking at each other.
“It didn’t look like it” Christa said reluctantly.
“Omid…” Kenny started.
“Don’t” Christa interrupted.
Kenny thought for a second.
“Maybe Omid wouldn’t have died if you two haven’t had it on in the next room.” Kenny said, already regretting mid-sentence what he was saying.
Clementine bowed his head completely, the face completely hidden behind the cap. Christa looked like he would burst into tears at any moment.
Kenny was horrified as he saw Christa’s anguish. He approached her and hugged her gently. Christa had a couple of tears dropping from her cheeks.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” Kenny said softly.
Christa quickly wiped her tears away.
After the hug Kenny looked at Clementine who was looking uncomfortable.
“I’m such an idiot, I don’t know what gets to me sometimes” Kenny said and hugged Clementine as well.
Kenny was on his knee as he looked at both of them and shook his head in regret of the small fight he instigated.
“I’m sorry what I said about Katjaa.” Christa said, ending the silence
“Its alright and I mean…Yeah…I guess Katjaa did take care of Duck more than I did.” Kenny said and looked at the ground.
“I didn’t mea…” Christa tried to explain.
“No no I get it. It’s true. Katjaa did tend for everything Duck needed. I was there too, but it was Katjaa who did most of the work. I’m not going to deny that.” Kenny sighed sorrowfully.
Kenny looked at Clementine and he brightened up a bit. He shuffled her baseball cap gently on her head with his hand, making it go into a weird angle.
“After this day is over and we make the fire, I’ll teach you how. I’ll try to do more from now on.”
Clementine smiled back at him, showing fake frustration about her weirdly angled hat.
“Kenny, you need to stop the... You know…” Christa said and glanced at the Kenny’s pouch which was hanging from his belt.
Kenny sighed reluctantly.
“Please Kenny. It makes you angry about everything. You snap about the smallest things.”
“Fine” Kenny sighed again while looking at Clementine who had a pleading look at her face.
The whole fight ended as quickly as it had started.
“I’m really glad I have you all” Kenny said softly as the anger he had felt before the fight was now totally gone.
“Even you.” Kenny continued and looked at Sam who turned his ears towards him in return to hear him.
“Okay let’s trek some more before the sun gets down. We still have some time” Kenny said after the short pause.
Kenny turned back and walked towards the all the stuff he had left to the ground before the break.
"You see now what I mean? Stop being such an asshole. You need to get a hold of yourself. If not for your sake, then for them.” Sam advised as he was walking happily beside him.
“Yeah, this selfish lollygagging stops now for good” Kenny agreed as he remembered the dread on Christa’s face when he reminded her of Omid.
Kenny kneeled next to his belongings.
“Biscuits” Sam demanded while whacking his tail immensely. He was focused on the pockets of the backpack, trying to force his snout inside.
Kenny grabbed a treat and gave it to Sam, who started to grind it next to him.
“We are almost out of those you know." Kenny said as he looked at Sam, who was munching the treat without worries.
Kenny unfastened the pouch from his belt and looked inside of it.
He looked behind him at Clementine and Christa who were getting ready with their stuff and then back to the bag again. He was conflicted.
A raven landed on the rock next to Kenny.
“Maybe you could keep some of them just in case? You’ll never know.” It flapped its wings.
“Will you shut up Lee? I’m not in the mood” Kenny said and shooed away the bird with his hand and then dropped all the contents of the pouch to the ground.