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Don't Break My Heart, Don't Throw It Away

Summary:

Eddie Munson has never had a boyfriend before. Sure, he'd slept with guys he didn't even remember the names of the next morning, kissed dudes in dark corners of clubs he was too young to be in, but it didn't mean anything. None of it meant anything. This did. Eddie would almost argue it meant everything.
How on earth his first boyfriend had ended up being Steve Harrington, former king of Hawkins high, and former douchebag, but current sweetheart, he didn't know.
But Eddie's not complaining. Quite the opposite, actually. He's not entirely sure how he's supposed to go around this whole relationship thing, but he's sure Steve'll show him. For now, though, Eddie's just gonna freak out about holding his hand.

OR

Steve and Eddie navigate Steve's first homosexual experiences, and Eddie's first romantic experiences, and shit happens.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: I Can Dream About You

Chapter Text

Eddie woke up sprawled on his bed, legs tangled in the covers. His hair was a frizzy mess from falling asleep with it wet.

He groans, rubbing his eyes and rolling onto his back.

Then he remembers.

He sits up so quickly it makes his head spin. Tiredness left his body as it’s quickly washed over with excitement.

He looks over to his bedside to make sure it wasn’t a dream.

Sure enough, there was a glass of water with some slightly wilted roses in them.

He laughs again at the stupidity of it. Sweet, stupid Steve.

Steve, who was his boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

He whispers the word to himself to try and make it feel more real.

Then, he drags a hand over his face. Get it together Munson. Quit being such a sap.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed, swiping up his crumpled pack of Marlboro Reds and the lighter he stole from the arcade, sticking one between his lips and flicking the lighter on.

He takes a deep drag, chucking the pack and the lighter back, before flopping down on his back, flicking ash onto his bed.

He’d never felt more at ease in his whole goddamn life.

He twirls the cigarette between his fingers, the little silver dragon on his middle finger catching light.

The ring Steve Harrington got him for his graduation. Two months ago, when he wasn’t even sure if they were friends.

It meant so much more now.

It meant everything.

He smiles to himself like an idiot, taking another drag, smoke curling up into the air and dancing patterns in the cracks of sunlight beaming in through his blinds.

He stands, dangling the cigarette from his lips, stretching his arms up above his head like a cat. His bare feet pad across the hardwood floor, and he swings his bedroom door open.

Wayne had probably already left for work. He goes into the kitchen, putting new water in the kettle before boiling it on the stove. He spoons two spoonfuls of instant coffee into the bottom of a mug, and flicks cigarette ash into the sink. The kettle whistles and he pours the steaming water into his mug, swirling together with the coffee.

He’s supposed to be seeing Steve today. He doesn’t exactly know when. Or where. He sorta assumes that Steve’ll show up outside in his shiny BMW and honk his horn, and Eddie’ll be half dressed and rush out the house looking like a dumpster fire.

He didn’t expect it to be so soon.

As about 20 minutes later, he was sat on the couch, cigarette stubbed out in the ashtray on the coffee table, half drank cup of black coffee slowly going cold as he read Stephen King’s Cujo, when there was a knock at the door.

He blinks, frowning, throwing his book down and putting his mug down with a dull thunk, before swivelling around to peak out the window.

And there was Steve Harrington, stood there in a light blue polo shirt tucked into his faded jeans.

Shit.

Eddie scrambled to run his hands through his hair a bit, smoothing out his shirt before almost tripping over himself to answer the door.

He rips it open, and Steve smiles at him boyishly. Lord, Eddie’s stomach did a summersault.

“Jesus, Steve, I woke up like half an hour ago.” He scolds, furrowing his brow.

Steve looks unphased.

“It’s midday.”

Is it? Eddie checks his watch. 12:23. Ah. So it is.

Eddie still grumbles, saying something about how he should know his sleep schedule by now.

“I missed you.” The idiot shrugged.

Eddie blinked at him.

“You saw me 13 hours ago.” He says dryly.

Steve just smiles. He steps forward into the trailer. He cups Eddie’s jaw and closes the space between them before Eddie can even react.

Eddie makes a surprised little noise into the kiss, before fluttering his eyes shut and accepting it, one hand coming to Steve’s waist.

Steve pulls away, grinning at him like he was the best thing he’s ever seen.

Eddie sneers at him. “I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet.” He whacks Steve on the chest.

Steve steps further in, closing the door behind him.

“You taste like coffee.”

Eddie groans again, turning away and heading to his room, and Steve just laughs, following him.

Steve flops down on the bed, watching Eddie violently brush his hair like he’s attacking it.

“So, anything new happen in the last 13 hours?” Eddie asks dryly, glancing at him in the mirror.

“I called Robin last night.” Steve says, twirling one of Eddies rings that he’d picked up off his dresser between his fingers.

Eddie cocks a brow, throwing his hairbrush away before going to find a new t-shirt, atleast. “Oh, yeah?”

Steve nods.

“What’d you tell her?” He says, tearing off the Iron Maiden shirt that he’s been sleeping in for the past week, replacing it with the new Metallica shirt.

Steve doesn’t answer until the new shirt is all the way down, covering the pale expanse of Eddie’s torso, the tattoos on his chest, the scars on his sides.

“I, uh…” He clears his throat. “That you totally rejected me and broke my heart.”

Eddie scoffs a laugh, half at Steve's failed attempt at covering up the fact he was staring, and half at Steve's joke.

“Mh. Maybe I should’ve.” He raises his brows, leaving the room. Steve stands, following him like a loyal dog.

He frowns as he leans in the doorway of the tiny bathroom, Eddie grabbing his toothbrush.

“I’m joking, sweetheart. Lighten up.”

He attempts to squeeze out the remnants of what's left in the very flat toothpaste tube onto his toothbrush.

Steve hums.

“What did you really tell her?” Eddie prompts, before running the brush under the tap and shoving it in his mouth.

“Everything.” Steve shrugs.

Eddie raises his brows at him in the mirror. “Include the parts about you bein’ an idiot?” He says around a mouthful of foam.

Steve huffs a laugh. “Mhm.”

Eddie grins around his toothbrush, before continuing to aggressively scrub his teeth.

“Mostly just me bragging, though, y’know.” Steve shrugs one shoulder casually, charming grin spreading across his face. “About my new boyfriend?”

“Oh yeah?” Eddie fumbles out, before spitting foam into the sink, washing it away with the tap and wiping his hand on the back of his mouth. “Who is he? I’d love to meet him.”

Steve doesn’t even flinch. Just steps forward, pointing one finger at the mirror.

“That guy.” He grins.

Eddie huffs a laugh, returning his toothbrush to the cup him and Wayne use to hold their toothbrushes. The one that hasn’t been cleaned in a while.

“He’s hot. Looks like a real keeper.” Eddie says dryly to his own reflection, before turning to Steve.

“Don’t plan on letting him go anywhere any time soon.” He smirks.

Eddie rolls his eyes. Then, he leans in, and kisses Steve before his brain can even calculate whats happening. Pushes him back against the little counter in the little bathroom, kissing him firm and warm, hands curling into the fabric of his shirt at his waist.

God, he could fucking get used to this.

He could kiss Steve Harrington every second of every day.

He’d never get bored.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever stop feeling the little rocket go off inside him, excitement and pure, unfiltered fondness exploding in his chest, leaving a warm ache there in its quake.

Steves fingers entwine in his soft hair, hand firm at the base of his neck, other hand on Eddie’s chest.

Steve was a pretty good kisser, too.

Eddie pulls away.

Steve looks at him like that was the best 5 seconds of his life, hazel eyes soft, gentle smile on his face.

Eddie can’t help but grin at him.

He taps him twice, lightly, on the cheek.

“Come on then, princess.”

Steve frowns a little at the nickname, but follows Eddie anyway as he goes into the living room, flopping down on the couch and patting the spot next to him.

Steve accepts the gesture, sitting next to Eddie as Eddie picks his book back up.

“I’ll just finish this chapter then we can… do… something?” Eddie furrows his brow. He doesn’t exactly know what they were supposed to be doing today.

Steve shrugs, nestling into his side. “I don’t mind.”

Eddie huffs a laugh, flicking back to the page he was at, Steves weight leaning against him warm and grounding, the smell of his cologne comfortingly familiar.

“What’s it about?” Steve asks.

“Rabid murderer dog.” Eddie says simply.

Steve laughs.

“You’re weird.”

Eddie tilts his head to look at him, raising a brow in amusement.

“Yeah? And you’re not?”

Steve pokes him in the side.

“Fair.”

Eddie ended up reading four chapters, Steve fine with just sitting there against him, absentmindedly playing with the strings of his pyjama bottoms.

It was painfully domestic.

Eventually, Eddie got bored, which was bound to happen, as he has the attention span of a goldfish.

“Right,” He sighs, folding the corner of his page and closing his book, throwing it down on the coffee table. “What do you want to do?”

Steve huffs a laugh. “It’s Hawkins, the world is our oyster.”

“Yeah?” Eddie grins.

“We could… go to the mall, or go to the junkyard and smash up old beer bottles with a crowbar, or go to the diner, or go walk around Maple park until our legs fall off.” He lists, ticking each one off on his fingers.

“Wow. Our options are limitless.”

Steve snorts.

Eddie changes into jeans (not even caring that Steve was in the room, but Steve turns and faces the wall sitting on his bed, ever the gentleman). And prepares himself for leaving the house (which doesn’t take a lot, but he puts in a little effort).

They end up walking to Maple park, just talking, really. They stop at a convenience store, and Steve buys some sodas and a box of mini chocolate chip muffins. They sit on a bench at the edge of the park, Eddie sat on the top park, feet on the seat of the bench, because apparently, he can’t sit normally.

Eddie tells a story, pointing at the childrens play area in the distance, talking about the time he was 8 and fell off the climbing frame and broke his ankle, how he walked home and his old man just gave him a bag of peas from the freezer, all while shoving tiny bite sized muffins in his mouth, barely taking the wrapper off first.

Steve just scoffs. He still doesn’t know whether to laugh or pity Eddie when he tells these stories. Eddie tells him he’s supposed to laugh.

Eddie takes him into the woods at the far end of the park, the one that leads to the bench that's a five minute walk from the fence to the track field of Hawkins High. His shop.

He dramatically presents the picnic table with arms thrown out and a ‘Ta-Da!’. He shows Steve where he carved his little tag into the wood. He tells stories of the strangest people he sold to, old stories of back in highschool, people Steve’d know.

Steve raises his brows as he tells a story about how Stacey Carter had bought a gram off him after Rob H cheated on her with Jessica G.

“Was that in sophomore year or junior year?” He asks skeptically.

Eddie thinks for a moment. “Junior year.”

“I made out with Stacey Carter in the girls locker room at a school dance in junior year.” Steve adds, brows furrowed. “I thought they’d broken up.”

“Nope, got back together right after.” Eddie shrugs, sitting on the table part of the bench. “You’re disgusting, though.”

“Jealous?” Steve smirks, kicking a branch.

Eddie scoffs. “Hell no. You couldn’t’ve paid me to make out with Prom King Steve Harrington.” He tilts his head mockingly. Steve raises his brows.

“That’s a lie, actually. I would’ve done it for 10 bucks.” Eddie adds. Steve laughs.

“You’re not gonna make me pay you 10 bucks now though, are you?” Steve grins, lowering his tone as he steps closer to Eddie.

“Nah.” He smirks. “Rates gone up. It’s 20 now.”

“Darn. I’ve only got 17 dollars on me.” He sighs, now standing directly in front of Eddie, in between his legs where he’s perched on the edge of the table.

Eddie takes his chin between his finger and his thumb. “Hey, I’ll give you a free sample.” He grins, leaning in. “It’s how you get ‘em hooked.”

Steve scoffs a laugh, shaking his head, before surging forward and closing the distance, kissing him.

Eddies hand moves to tangle his fingers in Steve’s hair, and one of Steves hands trails up his thigh, the other looping round to Eddie’s lower back.

Eddie just thinks about slipping some tongue in before a twig snaps, the sound sharp and echoing through the quiet forest.

Steve freezes, pulling away, head snapping towards the direction the noise came from.

Eddie laughs softly, hiding his disappointment.

“Relax, Stevie. Probably a squirrel.” He gives Steves bicep a reassuring squeeze.

Steve looks back at him, alarm fading from his expression. He shrugs. “It could’ve been a demo-squirrel.”

Eddie snorts, doing that stupid laugh he does when he finds something really funny, and Steve grins at him, wide and boyish.

They ultimately decide that maybe Eddie’s drug dealing spot isn’t the most romantic place, so they go back to walking.

They walk through the woods and round past Hawkins high, Eddie acting disgusted at the sight of the building.

They walk into town, mostly just window shopping and talking.

It was nice.

Really nice.

Eddie has this warm, light feeling in his chest.

It was a little strange.

Officially having a person.

That person being Steve Harrington.

He felt happy.

Pure, unfiltered happiness, unlike anything he’d felt in a long damn time.

Steve made him a little nervous still, but in a good way. Eddie got that little thrill in his bones whenever they kissed, like little fireworks. He felt almost a little flustered when Steve flirted or even looked at him too long.

Eddie didn’t really know that was possible. He’d never felt like this before, really. It was a hell of a lot different from having a crush on someone. And it was a hell of a lot different than kissing random dudes in dark corners of clubs he was definitely too young to be in, hooking up in the back of cars or in toilet cubicles.

Impossibly, this felt soft. Easy. Comfortable. In a way that sort of scared him.

They walked all the way back to the trailer, late afternoon sun beaming down, Eddie rolling up the sleeves of his long-sleeved Hellfire shirt to battle the heat.

When they took the short cut back through the forest, Steve nudges the back of Eddie’s hand with his, and Eddie feels warmth shoot through his nerves.

He lets Steve hold his hand. Pale, ringed fingers entwined with Steve's softer, stronger hand.

Eddie has never held anyone's hand before.

Sure, he’d fucked guys he didn’t even remember the names of the next day, but for some reason, this is what got him. Well, he knew the reason. He really fucking likes Steve. That’s why holding his goddamn hand made him want to scream.

They kept talking, both of them not acknowledging how they walk extra slow through the woods, because when they get back to the edge of the park, their hands part.

Eddie lights a cigarette and they pass it between them as they walk back to the trailer park, Steve blinking at him in surprise one time when Eddie takes it straight from his mouth.

They spend the rest of the evening sitting, legs tangled, on the couch in Eddie’s trailer, Eddie cracking out a dusty old VHS tape of Carrie, Steve complaining about the fact Eddie only seems to own horror movies. It then leads to Steve acting shocked Eddie’s never seen Grease, stating that he’s going to force Eddie to watch it, and then Eddie laughing when Steve picks up the box for Rocky Horror Picture Show, Steve not quite understanding whats so funny.

They order pizza, Steve ordering two because ‘Whatever they don’t eat, his Uncle can have when he gets home’, and Eddie tries not to smile too hard at how sweet and thoughtful Steve really is.

They eat pizza, picking and choosing between the pepperoni and the plain cheese, talking over the movie playing in the background, until Carrie gets the blood dumped over her and Steve scrunches his face up, saying he’s ‘lost his appetite’, Eddie laughing when Steve devours another slice two minutes later.

Wayne comes home a little earlier than usual. He usually works overtime, coming home after the suns set in the sky. They hear the keys jangle in the door and the door click open.

Steve, who was previously curled up into Eddie, head on his shoulder, arms wrapped around Eddies arm, hands tracing the rings on his hand absentmindedly, sits up straight. Eddie smirks.

Wayne steps into the trailer, sighing, eyes immediately landing on his nephew and his apparent new boyfriend.

“Steve.” He greets gruffly with a curt nod.

“Mr Munson.” Steve greets, smooth smile on his face.

Wayne scoffs a laugh. “Call me Wayne, kid.”

Eddie snickers, making Waynes gaze flicker to him.

“Hope you too have been behavin’.” He says, vague grin of amusement on his face.

Eddie narrows his eyes, scowling at him, before finding it a little funny how Steve has gone just a fraction of a shade pinker.

“There’s pizza, if you want it.” Eddie says, ignoring his uncles previous statement.

Waynes brows raise.

“Go on then.”

Eddie picks up the box of left over plain cheese (which is half the pizza) and hands it over to him.

“We got any beer in the fridge, Eds?” He asks, inspecting the pizza with a skeptical look, cracking open the cardboard box.

Eddie scoffs. “We had half a case in there yesterday, how much do you think I drink?”

Wayne shrugs. “Never know with you.”

Steve laughs.

Wayne shuts the box, gaze flickering back over to Steve.

“Guess I should get used to you bein’ ‘round here, huh?” He asks dryly.

Steve grins. “I’ll do my share of chores.”

Wayne chuckles (which is sort of an achievement). “You keepin’ him busy is chore enough.” He points at Eddie.

Eddie gasps in mock offence. “How very dare you.”

Steve laughs.

Wayne shakes his head in amusement, before disappearing into the kitchen.

Eddie leans back, folding his arms. Steve turns to look at Eddie.

“Does he like me?” He whispers, jerking a thumb towards the hall. Eddie snorts.

He shrugs. “He doesn’t like anyone.”

Steve frowns.

“You’re growing on him.” Eddie adds softly, poking Steve in the chest.

Steve smiles, appeased with this answer.

Eddie hears the faint crackle of the radio as he assumes his Uncles stood in the kitchen listening to the radio and eating half cold pizza.

Eventually, when they hear movement and Waynes bedroom door click shut, Steve returns his head to Eddie’s shoulder.

Steves weight is warm and firm and grounding, and it’s becoming not just welcome, but familiar. Natural. The smell of his cologne and the soft of his hair against his cheek is comforting, and Eddie has to remind himself every so often that this is real. Eddie smiles to himself.

Yeah. He could get used to this.

Three days later, Tuesday, Eddie did what he did every Tuesday late afternoon.

Steve had come round Sunday after work and they’d ended up watching Friday the 13th: Jason Lives, and Eddie had made a joke how now they’d finished the franchise they could officially stop hanging out, and Steve argued that they had to wait for the next one to come out in a year or two, and Eddie groaned about how the franchise was gonna keep going for years, to which Steve replied “You’re stuck with me, Munson.”. They both agreed they owed a lot to Jason Vorhees.

Monday, Steve’d been busy with work and hanging out with, or babysitting, Dustin Henderson. Eddie had missed him more than he’d like to admit. It was a little pathetic.

Now, it was just past two on Tuesday afternoon, and the bell above the door of Family Video jingles, the Open sign clattering against the glass as the doors swung open violently, Eddie’s boots thudding on the linoleum floor.

Steve looks up from where he was behind the counter, smiling like a kid on Christmas when he spots him. Eddie’s heart does a little flip.

“Hey, Eds.” He says as Eddie approaches the counter.

“Harrington.” He smirks back.

Robin makes a gagging noise as she slides up to that end of the counter.

“Get a room.” She smirks.

Steve whacks her. “I just said ‘hi’.”

“It’s too much,” She states. “You’re undressing each other with your eyes.”

“We are not.” Steve scoffs.

“I am.” Eddie raises a brow.

Steve raises his brows, whirling round to look at him. “Behave yourself. I’m at work.”

“What can I say?” He leans forward, elbows on the counter, lowering his tone. “The uniforms doing it for me.”

Steve laughs, shaking his head. Robin clicks her tongue.

“I’m gonna throw up.” She brings her hand to her mouth mockingly.

Eddie rolls his eyes at her.

“You’re just jealous.” Steve quirks a brow, leaning his hip against the counter. Robin gives him an incredulous look.

“You’re both guys. That’s, like, my literal nightmare.” She says quietly, ghost of a smirk on her face. Eddie snorts a laugh. She taps Steve on the arm. “Go rewind the returns, dingus.”

“What? But he just got here.” He practically pouts. Eddie smiles to himself like an idiot.

Robin scoffs. “Go do your job, he’ll still be here.” Steve just glares at her. “I need to talk to him. About… uh… girl stuff.”

“He’s not a girl.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Eddie chimes in with a dry smirk.

Steve frowns.

“Go on, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.” Eddie rolls his eyes but gives Steve a fond smile. Steve just looks at him before, reluctantly, heading to the back room to rewind some returns. Eddie smiles at him, shaking his head before his gaze flickers to Robin.

“You gonna give me the best friend speech?” Eddie asks, tilting his head.

“What? Oh, yeah.” She clears her throat. “You hurt my darling Steve and i’ll break your neck, Munson.” She says, lowering her voice threateningly. It’s not very threatening. Eddie scoffs a laugh.

“No, that’s not what I wanted to say,” She folds her arms, before cocking a brow. “Not that I don’t mean it. God knows Steve can’t win a fight for the life of him.”

“Hey, that’s not true.” Eddie defends.

“It’s like a… 60/40 ratio.” Robin waves a hand. “Anyway, what I was going to say was… I’m happy for you, or whatever.”

Eddie grins. “Thanks, Buckley.”

Robin sighs. “Now i’m gonna be third-wheeling for the rest of my life, aren’t I?” She looks utterly miserable, and Eddie chuckles. “I’ve been subjected to an eternity of third-wheeldom.”

“Hey, it’s not that bad.” He tilts his head. “Besides, if you get your ass together with the Vicky situation…”

“Shut up!” Robin hisses. “I’m working on it.”

They talk about Robins very slow development on the Vicky-front, as well as laughing over Steve being an incompetent idiot, for a little while before Steve reappears from the back room, cardboard box of freshly rewound tapes ready to be put back on the shelves.

“Better not’ve been talking about me.” He smirks as he starts pulling VHS cases out of the box, organising them into genres.

“Oh, we were.” Robin says dryly. “Eddie here was just telling me about how much he wants to-”

“Shut your mouth, woman.” Eddie sneers at her, and she laughs. Steve raises his brows.

“How much you wanna what?” He smirks.

“Punch you in your stupid pretty face.” Eddie says dryly.

Steve huffs a laugh, turning to Robin and gesturing at Eddie. “Here that? He called me pretty.”

Robin raises her brows, humming, and Eddie just scoffs.

Eddie lingers for longer than usual, perching on the counter and getting annoyed whenever Steve has to serve a customer, AKA actually do his job. Robin teases the two of them, and Eddie watches them bicker like an old married couple with a new found warmth that feels awfully like belonging.

At some point, business lulls, and Robin takes the opportunity to go and restock the now organised VHS tapes into their rightful places in the store, leaving Steve to lean his forearms against the counter, smirking up at where Eddies sat with his legs dangling over the other side.

They talk quietly about something, about the last woman Steve had served who’d bought a copy of Labyrinth, to which Eddie then compares Steve to Hoggle, which earns him a poke up the butt. They talk about Eddie’s ongoing job hunt, him blaming Steve for distracting him from it, Steve scoffing and saying Steve was the job hunt, calling himself a sugar Daddy, to which Eddie groans and swats at him, telling him to never say that again. Then, Eddie saying his unemployment is a rebellion of an unfair capitalist society, and Steve just rolls his eyes, saying to keep telling himself that.

At some point Eddie gets up, jumping off the counter and deciding to entertain himself by flipping through the magazines they had at the back of the store.

“You guys should start selling porn mags in here.” He calls dryly.

Steve whirls round to look at him, eyes wide. “Eds! There’s customers in here.” He hisses.

Eddie just shrugs, laughing to himself. “Alright, alright. Quit being such a prude.”

Steve just grumbles to himself, Robin looking heavily amused.

“I’m just saying. It’d bring in a wider target audience.” He grins, sauntering back over to the counter.

“Sure, weirdo, suggest it to Kieth.” Robin grins.

“Maybe I will. And I’ll get Steve fired while i’m at it.” He shoots Steve a wink.

“Hey! This place wouldn’t last a week without me.”

“Yeah, he brings in all the washed-up hot chicks that peaked in highschool.” Robin teases.

Eddie narrows his eyes, folding his arms. “Do I have to start standing guard?” He glances at Steve. “Bring a sword and a shield to defend my honour?”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about.” Steve tilts his head with a fond smile. “Unless Sloane Peterson walks in here.” He adds, joking, but Eddie frowns at him. “Or Dave Mustaine.” He continues with a smirk.

Eddie grins, feeling a little heat rise to his face. “That’s more like it.” Steve shakes his head, still smirking to himself. “Still should’ve never introduced you to Megadeath.” He mutters. Robin snorts.

“I don’t like the music.” Steve offers. Eddie makes a pained expression.

“That’s worse!”

Eventually, Eddie had to tear himself away from Family Video to pretend he had better things to do, which, really, he doesn’t. But he leaves with a warmth still buzzing inside of him, or maybe it was the fact the sun was high in the sky, beating down and practically boiling the cracked pavement.

For the first time, he could say he’d visited his boyfriend at work.

It felt surreal, and Eddie felt like a sap for lingering on it too long, but he smiled like an idiot the rest of the afternoon.