Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

‘Han Sooyoung was wrong,’ Kim Dokja thought to himself, watching as his companions attacked him with tears he shouldn’t have been able to see in their eyes. His body moved on its own, acting like nothing except the star stream’s puppet for a scenario.

He couldn’t stop attacking them, even when he fought with all his strength to resist the scenario’s influence, nothing worked.

But he could think.

Between the blood rushing through his ears and muffling everything around him, and his actions being controlled for him, all he could do was think.

And the thought at the forefront of his mind was, ‘Han Sooyoung was wrong.’

Yoo Joonghyuk knew this would happen, he was certain of that. And the damn bastard was willing to sacrifice himself to get through the scenario.

Dokja couldn’t let that happen.

He refused to let that happen.

That bastard was going to make it to the end, no matter what happened in between, and Dokja wasn’t going to let him change that. Even if he needed to go up and force Olympus, Vedas, and Papyrus to force fate again - even if he needed to go back in time - to make sure Joonghyuk made it; Yoo Joonghyuk would make it.

Dokja wouldn’t allow any other ending.

Yoo Joonghyuk would make it to the epilogue.

Han Sooyoung didn’t understand Joonghyuk the way he did. She never would because she only got to chapter 100. Even if the story had changed so much, even if he felt like he had messed things up in a way he hadn’t meant to, Kim Dokja had lived 3000 chapters with Joonghyuk; over 10 years.

He understood, even if Han Sooyoung didn’t. Even if no one else did.

And while he might not have quite understood why Joonghyuk was making this decision right now, he did understand why at the same time.

It was… frustrating. But for all that he didn’t understand, he understood perfectly.

Han Sooyoung didn’t.

The bastard was never going to become the Demon King while he was alive.

Never.

And even if they would hate him for this, even if he might never make it back to this scenario, Yoo Joonghyuk wasn’t going to die here.

He was the protagonist, Dokja was just… the reader.

Joonghyuk had unknowingly lived 10 years with Dokja. He had died and regressed over and over for Dokja, now was his chance to repay him.

Even if he had to die instead.

His life was already 13 years longer than it should’ve been, then he wanted it to be, it didn’t matter if he died today, as long as the others didn’t.

They deserved to live, and they would.

Yoo Joonghyuk deserved a happy ending.

Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung deserved a life where they could go to school and laugh and not need to fight for their lives.

Lee Jiyhe deserved to find others her age, to have fun and be a teenager.

Jung Heewon deserved to go out and protect others because she wanted to, not because it was required. She should be able to return to practising Kendo, to being able to smile again and actually mean it. To not feel forced to protect others.

Everyone deserved… more.

He didn’t.

He’d had 10 years to read about misery and angst and these people’s torment, he was no better than the constellations that watched them now. Frankly, he was worse because he couldn’t even come clean about it, he couldn’t even give them anything to try and make it better…

…It wasn’t fair that Joonghyuk sacrifice himself for him of all people…

[ If Kim Dokja becomes the demon king, he will die here. ]

Joonghyuk’s thoughts from moments before raced through Dokja’s head, his now-red eyes blankly staring at his desperate companions.

Dokja wasn’t aware of how he looked right now, the way his eyes looked so dead, the way his jaw was slightly slacked, the way his limbs moved as if someone was throwing a doll’s around. He didn’t realise how horrible it was for the others to watch him like this….

[ Thus, it is me who should sacrifice themselves here. ]

‘Bastard… You’ve already done that too much…’

He was an idiot for thinking Dokja was the protagonist. That he could do what Joonghyuk had taken 1863 regressions to finally accomplish.

Dokja was just a reader, the fact that he was even allowed to do this… To sacrifice himself for his favourite protagonist just once, after the way the other man had saved him so many times…

He wouldn’t waste this chance.

It didn’t matter what that bastard or the others wanted.

If this was the only thing he could do upon becoming a constellation, then this was what he would do.

They wouldn’t stop him.

Dokja belatedly realised that everything around him had seemingly slowed to a snail's pace, including his own movements, as a filtered messaged appeared before him.

Time stayed slowed as he watched Joognyuk’s mouth move, and his mouth moved in response before he could process anything.

“I hoped the moment where I had to use this would never come.”

Joonghyuk sounded… different to normal, although Dokja couldn’t figure out how.

“Me too. However, now is the time.” Blurred messages appeared around Yoo Joonghyuk for a moment, and their conversation continued without Dokja’s conscious involvement.

He couldn’t figure out if those messages from the constellations were actually blurred, or if he was just too focused on Joonghyuk. The man running straight at him, avoiding the attacks he didn’t want to throw at him.

‘No… stop…’ Stop attacking him… Please stop attacking him…

As Yoo Joonghyuk ran towards him with his blade out, strange images seemed to float in his vision, and for a moment, he thought his life was flashing before his eyes.

Except, he couldn’t recognise most of what was happening.

There was him as he was right now, black horns and feathered wings, strange black… erosion creeping up his hands and sleeves, and closely following was an identical moment; except he was a she in that one.

There was one where he was 8 again, with blood dripping from his temple and laying on the floor, his mother screaming as she stood over him, pointing a knife at his father.

Another where he was a she again, with brilliant white wings sprouting behind her; 6 in total.

There were moments of his and her death, everywhere from when he was a child, to now, to what felt like thousands of years in the future.

He didn’t like how few of those moments seemed to show a happy ending for them…

The only thing he properly understood, was a whisper in the back of his mind.

Then, Joonghyuk’s blade was piercing his heart, and all those strange, floating moments floating around his head disappeared, except for one; this one.

The moment he watched was… empty. Not because it was boring, or dull, or fake, but because somehow he knew, that wasn’t him.

The Dokja and Joonghyuk he saw, were not the ones right now.

Similar, so close to being identical, but he could just tell that whatever he was watching wasn’t… them.

He laughed, the sound hollowly echoing around his head, and his eyes closed, desperately trying to push that scene away. Trying to pretend he couldn’t see what they were seeing, that he couldn’t see the way Joonghyuk’s shoulders were trembling, no matter how much he tried to hide it.

And then his eyes opened, and all he could see were Joonghyuk’s eyes and clenched jaw. That look… so familiar to when they first met on that bridge.

At that time, he looked so cool and… calm.

But now? All he could see was that memory flashing just behind Yoo Joonghyuk.

His head was higher back then, and Dokja so clearly remembered how he looked exactly like the protagonist he was, but now? That scene looked different. For all that he remembered Joonghyuk being calm back then, he looked very similar to now.

Or… no…

Maybe this was another moment that was not… his?

He couldn’t tell.

But he recognised those eyes. He recognised that look, and it struck him so hard his next laugh was breathless and high, and tears stung his eyes.

“...Joonghyuk…”

The way Dokja’s body slumped barely registered in his mind as his eyes stayed fixed on Joonghyuk’s. He’d never noticed before, but it almost felt like there were little stars sparkling in his eyes, and he couldn’t do anything but stare, fixated.

If he tried hard enough, it almost seemed like he could see a Yoo Joonghyuk in every star he could see, staring back at him. Some of those expressions were angry, some furious. Some were strangely blank. Others were sad. But, if he looked hard enough, he could see stars where Joonghyuk was smiling.

Where his eyes were soft and relaxed.

Dokja wished he could see that smile one day.

If there was any reason he would change his mind and find another way to finish this scenario, it was to see Joonghyuk smile just once.

Joonghyuk grit his teeth as he felt one of Dokja’s arms wrap around him, grabbing the back of his jacket with a tense fist. The look on the idiot’s face wasn’t right. He shouldn’t be looking so wide-eyed and awe struck, he shouldn’t look so happy and sad at the same time.

He shouldn’t have been holding on to him so desperately…

“Kim Dokja-”

“Smile…”

The sudden bewildered look on Joonghyuk’s face made the tears in Dokja’s eyes become just a little harder to control.

He laughed again, gripping Joonghyuk’s jacket so tight he could feel his nails through the fabric digging into his palms, so tight his knuckles turned white.

“...Just once…” he said, his voice sounding strange to his ears. He wasn’t sure if he shouted, or whispered, if Yoo Joonghyuk heard him at all, but he could see the constellations indirect messages popping up behind Joonghyuk’s head, even if they were too blurry to read.

Dokja’s whispered words barely made sense to Joonghyuk, and for a moment, all he wanted to do was throttle the idiot for trying this again.

For sacrificing himself for him again.

And then the next, despite how wrong it felt, the corners of his mouth were tilting upwards.

It felt wrong. Completely out of place for this situation.

But then Dokja’s strangely reflective eyes flicked down, and Joonghyuk’s grip on him became even tighter. He pulled the dying man’s body closer, wrapped his arms tighter around him, until only one thing could take him away.

Even as Dokja’s eyes drooped, as his legs, then torso turned into powder and disappeared into the swirling, glitching black hole behind him, Joonghyuk refused to let go.

Dokja refused to look anywhere other than Joonghyuk’s face. Joonghyuk’s star filled eyes, and that sad, tiny smile.

“Ha…”

It was so different to the smiles the Joonghyuk’s hiding in those stars had, and for a moment, he felt jealous of whoever got to see those smiles. But…

This one was his.

This smile, this sad, angry smile, and the tight grip Joonghyuk had on him that almost hurt, they were for him.

They were for Kim Dokja.

He wasn’t sure if what he was seeing was real, or if it was just another moment flashing through his eyes and confusing him, but whatever he was feeling, that was real.

Dokja didn’t know if he liked that feeling…

“...I’m sorry…” he said quietly, swallowing thickly as his hands gripping Joonghyuk started to disappear. He was even less sure which voice in the chorus was his, as what felt like hundreds of voices echoed the same line, albeit in different ways. “...Let’s meet again, Yoo Joonghyuk.”

A flash of sorrow raced through the little consciousness Dokja had left as the weak smile on Joonghyuk’s face disappeared, and for a moment, all he could see was the person he loved.

The story he loved.

Joonghyuk was closest, his eyes wide, his blade on the floor beside his feet, and his hands outstretched.

But behind him stood everyone else.

Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung were crying out, trying to break free from Yoo Sangah and Lee Hyungsungs holds.

Lee Hyungsung was looking at him with an expression that hurt his heart, and Yoo Sangah was looking down. Almost like she couldn’t bear to watch this.

Dokja didn’t blame her.

Jung Heewon was standing with her blade loosely held in her hand, staring at him with gritted teeth. She looked strangely reminiscent of Joonghyuk annoyed expression, except she looked more grief-stricken than annoyed.

Lee Seolhwa was holding her hands to her chest as she stared, but Dokja couldn’t quite make out the expression on her face.

Gong Pildu was standing off to the side, and while Dokja wasn’t sure that he wanted to see the man’s expression, he still did. The landlord looked strangely remorseful.

Dokja wasn’t sure what to make of that.

And finally, Han Sooyoung was standing there, a frown on her face, and her eyes wide. He wasn’t sure if she wanted to pull him back just to kill him herself, or if she wanted to break down and cry as hard as she could.

Despite everything he could see, Dokja still forced himself to put a smile on his face, even if it was small or looked more like a grimace.

When the kids started to cry harder, he felt like smiling had been the wrong choice.

But as everything around him went dark, his eyes fell back to Joonghyuk, and he could only think one thing.

‘I’m sorry…’