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Grian landed at Spawn, stumbling at how rough it was. He felt little better today then he had when he was here just a few days before. Actually, he probably felt worse. He stood for a moment in the entrance of the building where he was going to have to confront Scar. He wanted to leave. Wanted to run from this, but he wouldn't. He was finally going to tell Scar it was over.
Grian stepped into the building, trying to ignore the knot in his stomach that twisted more painfully then any of the mysterious cramps he'd experience over the past month. Scar was already here sitting in his chair. He looked up at Grian, not even the ghost of a smile on his face. Then he looked away as if afraid the slight glance might set the omega off. Grian looked away as well and went straight towards Keralis and Xisuma. "Mumbo?" He asked.
"I just sent him a message." Xisuma said softly, "you should be getting a call shortly."
Keralis opened his arms and Grian accepted the embrace of the older omega gladly, "Oh Brian, Sweet face. Everything's going to be okay." Grian didn't bother to correct him.
When he pulled away Grian turned and saw Cub had arrived. His arms were crossed and his eyes narrowed at Grian. His minty scent wafted across the room, just strong enough to cut through Grian's and Scar's soured scents. It was full of protective anger that made Grian’s throat clench as he swallowed.
Grian’s comm buzzed and he startled slightly. The screen lit up: Mumbo calling. He answered and set the comm down on the table as he settled into a chair. His friends familiar voice filtered into the heavy silence. “Hey,” Mumbo said. “I’m here.”
Grian glanced around. No one spoke. He leaned forward, voice quiet but even. “Hey Mumbo, We’re all here. I think we're going to get started with..." Grian stopped. He don't know what to call this.
"You ready?" The Redstoner asked, concerned.
"No." Grian replied.
"Oh boy. Well. I guess... I'm here for you Grian."
Grian nodded, even though Mumbo couldn't see it. He didn't look up from his comm. From the table. He didn't dare look in Scar's direction. He could already feel the sadness seeping through the bond.
Xisuma shifted, drawing every eye as his deep voice broke the tension. "Let's get started. Scar? Grian? The two of you have been going through some things lately that have us very concerned and we want to make sure that this gets figured out, for both of you."
"We're worried about you two," Keralis added, "you're not eating or sleeping properly."
Grian felt guilt twisting inside him.
Guilt. Sadness.
And Scar? No, he didn't need to feel this. Grian felt his resolve strengthening. He would set Scar free.
“We let it go on too long,” Keralis continued. “We thought you two would talk it out. But you haven’t. And now…” He gestured to them. "You both look terrible."
“We need a resolution,” Xisuma said. “This meeting is for that. For both of you to speak openly. This is your space to say what you need to say. After that... we figure out what comes next.”
Grian flinched at the word resolution. It sounded so final.
Scar shifted in his seat. Grian could feel the weight of his glance even though he kept his eyes locked on the table.
“I’ll go first,” Grian said suddenly, forcing the words out before he lost his nerve.
“No, I... ” Scar spoke, voice cracking. “Please, let me...”
Grian's head snapped up, his eyes finding Scar's and he felt a small surge of anger. “No. I gave you a chance to talk. I asked you. You couldn't even answer me."
Scar’s mouth opened, his eyes wide and pained. Grian knew he didn't have to remind Scar what he was referring to.
“I just want to explain...” Scar pleaded.
“I don’t need you to explain,” Grian bit out, his hands trembling in his lap. “I’m not here to listen to another round of vague, half-hearted excuses. Let me speak.”
Scar's eyes narrowed as he started to speak louder, “If you had let me talk instead of twisting my words--”
“Enough!” Xisuma's voice cracked across the room, sharp enough to cut through the heat of their argument. Both of them fell silent. Xisuma presence filled the room. “I know you’re both upset. But if we’re doing this, we’re doing it right. No yelling. No talking over each other. One of you speaks first and the other listens. Then you can switch. That’s how this is going work.” He looked at them both, letting the silence stretch.
Scar’s gaze dropped again, hands curling tight in his lap. Grian’s throat ached from the effort of not saying everything he wanted to scream. Everything he didn’t know how to scream. He could feel the guilt through the bond again and then suddenly it was gone as Scar cut himself off. Grian glared at him.
Keralis put a hand on his shoulder, “Brian. Do you still want to speak first?”
Grian hesitated. Then nodded stiffly. He exhaled, running a hand through his hair, heart pounding so hard he was certain that Scar could feel it. He didn’t want to do this. He had to do this. Grian sat forward slowly, elbows braced on his knees, fingers laced so tightly together they ached. He’d rehearsed this moment a hundred times in his head over the past two days. Every version of it. But now that Scar was here and listening, it felt like trying to speak with knives in his throat. He didn't look up again.
“I came here to say…” His voice caught on the first word. He swallowed hard, breath trembling. “I’m done.” The silence that followed felt like a vacuum, pulling the air out of the room. Grian forced himself to keep going. “Whatever's left of the bond, I'm not going to let it cloud my thoughts anymore ” he said, steadier now. “I won't let this drag out.” He drew a shuddering breath, closing his eyes for a moment before continuing. “We just need to end it. Whatever you've been trying to do Scar, it needs to stop. Whatever you're feeling because of it, you need to understand that it isn't real. It shouldn't have happened in the first place. It was my fault. I just keep hurting you.”
Scar didn’t speak. Didn’t even shift. Grian felt the stillness like a presence all its own. It was unbearable.
“I don’t want to hurt you anymore,” Grian said, repeating those words. His reason for everything else he had to say. He pressed his fingernails into his palms in order to keep himself grounded. He wouldn't let himself cry. Not here in front of everyone. “From the start, I’ve only ever done that. Hurt you." Now here it was. His final ultimatum. "I don't want to see you anymore."
He didn’t dare say more than that. Not what he really felt. Not what clawed at the inside of his chest. Because saying that would be selfish. And he wasn’t here to be selfish.
Scar deserved better.
Scar needed to find another Omega to love.
Grian didn't deserve Scar.
He was here to set Scar free.
Grian steeled his resolve and looked up. Scar didn’t move. His mouth was parted slightly, but no sound escaped. His eyes were fixed on Grian with a stunned kind of grief. Grian couldn’t look at him for long. He turned his gaze away, biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself together. Something inside him screamed at him to take it back, to stop, to just admit what he really wanted. But Scar deserved to be happy. "One of us deserves to be happy." Grian added softly.
Scar still didn’t speak. Grian couldn't even feel anything from him. Whatever Scar did to cut himself off was keeping Grian from feeling the alpha's emotions and for the first time Grian wasn't even upset about it. Maybe it meant Scar understood what needed to happen. The silence still hurt. Because a small part of Grian had still hoped... that Scar still wanted him.
There was a beat of silence after Grian finished speaking. Then, through the phone speaker, Mumbo’s voice crackled. “Grian... what are you doing?”
Grian didn’t answer. He couldn’t. His throat had closed up, and he was afraid that if he tried to speak, it would all come pouring out. The grief. The need. The aching want he’d buried so deep it was choking him now. He kept his eyes locked on the table.
When Scar finally spoke, his voice was so quiet Grian almost couldn't hear him. “…Okay.” There was a pause. "If… if that’s what you want, Grian… I’ll go.”
Grian’s head jerked up at the words, a strange panic filling him. This was what he’d asked for. What he’d said he wanted. So why did it feel like the ground had opened up beneath him?
Scar just looked empty, as if every word Grian had spoken had taken something from him. His shoulders slumped forward, gaze dull, mouth barely more than a line. No fight or protest. Only quiet resignation.
“That’s it?” Cub said, voice rising, full of disbelief. “That’s all you have to say?”
Scar blinked slowly, looking at his friend.
“Seriously?! You’re just going to sit there and let him walk out? After everything you’ve been through?”
“Cub..." Xisuma warned.
But Cub was clearly done with all of them.
“No. No, I’m not letting this happen again. How can you tell me, but you can't tell him? You’re still not going to say it?” His eyes flashed with anger and frustration. “I don't care if he walks out of your life forever! Grian's right, all he ever does is hurt you! But I'm not going to let you live with the regret of never saying that you love him!"
Scar flinched like the words had struck him with a physical blow.
Grian flinched too. Confusion and disbelief cut through his sorrow. “What did you just say?”
Cub turned to Grian breathing hard, “He's in love with you, Grian!”
Grian blinked, face paling.
Scar’s head was in his hands now, fingers digging into his hair.
“And now,” Cub continued, quieter, “he’s just sitting here, like a kicked puppy, because you told him it was over. And he still can’t say it. Even though everyone else already knows. Even you."
Grian felt like someone had knocked the breath out of him. His first instinct was denial. Cub had to be wrong. Scar would’ve said something. Scar would’ve... he would’ve told him, wouldn’t he? He had told him... The longer Grian stared at Scar and the way he seemed to be shrinking under the weight of his silence, the more that denial crumbled. Scar wasn’t saying anything, because Grian had already told him it was over. Even now, Scar was putting what he thought Grian wanted first.
“I…” Grian swallowed hard, “I want to hear it from you, Scar.”
Scar didn’t move.
“Please,” Grian said, his voice cracking. “Tell me it’s not true. Or tell me it is. Just—stop making me guess.”
Scar’s sighed, then he slowly lifted his head. His red-rimmed eyes were filled with a kind of aching vulnerability that Grian had never seen from him before.
“I’ve been in love with you since the first day we met.”
The words hung between them.
“I just…” Scar’s voice faltered. “I was afraid. I was afraid that if I told you, you’d pull away and I would lose you. I didn't want to lose what we had, so I tried to let our friendship be enough. Even if you never saw me as anything more it could be enough.” He gave a short, bitter laugh. “But it didn’t matter, did it? I still ruined everything.”
Grian’s stared at Scar Everything hurt and nothing was simple anymore. It felt like his world was tipping sideways. His mouth parted slightly, eyes wide, unblinking. The silence stretched, and no one dared fill it. Even Cub, who’d been all fire and fury moments ago, had gone still.
Grian's breath hitched.
Once.
Twice.
Suddenly Grian was gasping like a drowning man coming up for air. Choking on all the emotions that had been swirling around inside him and kept at bay by his resolve alone. Tears spilled down his cheeks without warning until he was sobbing with them. It didn't make him feel any better. It only made him feel worse as he lost control. Grian wanted to fold in on himself, smaller and smaller, until he was nothing and he could just disappear. “I didn’t know,” he choked out. “I didn’t know, Scar." Grian couldn’t look at him. He pressed his palms to his eyes, as if he could shut it all out. But the more he tried to shut out everything around him, the more his own thoughts came tumbling out of his mouth. Just like the tears that tumbled from his eyes. “I thought... I thought I was forcing you into something you didn’t want,” he babbled,“ And then it just got more and more complicated and I didn't know what you wanted! I just knew I was hurting you and we weren't talking and..."
Scar was suddenly there beside him and Grian could once again feel the bond opening up between them. Hurt sadness protect. Grian looked at him through slotted fingers as Scar knelt before him. One of his hand was held out just inches from Grian's arm, while his other arm was open as if hoping that Grian would close the distance between them.
Grian collapsed into Scar’s arms, burying his face into his shoulder as his whole body trembled with the weight of months of confusion, longing, and denial. Scar wrapped his arms around him and pulling him close, his own breath shuddering now against Grian’s hair. More feelings tumbled through the open bond.
Hurt Grief Relief.
“I'm the problem,” Grian sobbed, voice muffled against Scar’s shirt. You've been hurting because of me. I ruined everything.”
Scar whispered near his ear. “You didn’t ruin anything, Gri.”
Grian shook his head, overwhelmed, still clinging to Scar. “I tried so hard not to love you,” he admitted through hiccupped breaths.
Scar made a soft, pained sound and held him closer.
Neither of them noticed the stunned silence around them.
Cub looked away and crossed his arms to hide the tremble in his shoulders. Keralis had a hand pressed over his mouth, eyes glassy with tears. Xisuma’s eyes had softened with understanding. Listening through the phone, even Mumbo was stunned into silence.
Grian stayed in Scar’s arms for what felt like forever, just breathing, sobbing, falling apart and slowly piecing himself back together one ragged inhale at a time. Scar held him through it all with a steady grip that cradled the back of his head.
When Grian finally pulled back, his face felt flushed and blotchy. He knew his eyes were probably red. He kept them down on his lap. "I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry,” Grian said again, louder. “For everything. For assuming the worst, for not listening, for—Gods, for trying to tear the bond apart like it was the problem when it was me. I was so scared of hurting you, and all I did was hurt you more. I thought I was protecting you, and I just..." he rubbed at his eyes, “I’m so sorry, Scar.”
Scar looked like he was trying not to cry himself. His mouth worked silently for a second before he let out a shaky breath and reached up to brush his thumb gently across Grian’s cheek, wiping away the tears.
“I know,” Scar said softly. “I know, G.”
Scar pulled him back into an embrace that had Grian's nose right next to his scent gland. He suddenly felt safe.
Then Keralis cleared his throat and interrupted them. Taking charge in the sensitive moment. “What does this mean for you two?”
Grian froze. He'd almost forgotten that he and Scar weren't alone. He was suddenly filled with embarrassment and he pulled away. The question hung in the air, unanswered and terrifying.
He didn’t answer. He Couldn’t. Not yet.
Scar shifted slightly, still kneeling in front of him, one hand resting lightly against Grian’s arm. He looked Grian straight in the eyes, reaching up and cuping his face so that he wouldn't look away. “I want to keep the bond,” Scar said, voice finally steady. “More than anything I’ve ever wanted. I wanted it from the start. I just… I was too afraid to tell you. Afraid I’d lose you if I asked for too much.”
Grian’s heart clenched. He blinked, more tears threatening. He could feel that fear now, but something else. Hope.
"Why would you want me Scar? Why? I'm cursed!"
"I'd rather be cursed to live with you. Then cursed to live without you."
Grian let out a soft, broken laugh and nodded. He moved forward, his forehead pressing to Scar’s. He could feel it now. Hope, fear, love.
Scar smiled, small and uncertain. “Can we try? I know I did it all wrong and out of order, but I want to court you. I want you at my side as my mate."
“Yeah,” Grian breathed. A different resolve filling him now. Backed by what he really wanted. “Yeah. I want to be with you. I want to be your mate.”
Keralis let out a quiet exhale, smiling behind his hand. Xisuma’s shoulders visibly relaxed. Cub looked away, scrubbing at his face with one hand to hide whatever his reaction had been. Through the speaker on Grian's comm, close enough to have heard everything, Mumbo spoke with a congratulatory warmth. “Well… it’s about time.”
Grian huffed out a laugh, still sniffling. Scar laughed too and leaned forward to press a kiss to Grian’s forehead.
Of course Xisuma had to break their moment. The admin had brought them together, afterall, to make sure everything was out in the open and that there were no more misunderstandings. As hard as it was, Grian and Scar both explained what they wanted, as best they could. Both to each other and to their pack leaders and friends. It was awkward. It was embarrassing. But Grian was so grateful for the clarity.
When they finally finished to the satisfaction of all the sun has started to dip into evening. Scar scooped Grian up into his arms to carry him home. Grian didn’t protest, he suddenly felt so tired, but lighter at the same time. He tucked his face into the crook of Scar’s neck, breathing in his scent. His mate.
Scar would take Grian back to his apartment. They would eat. Scar would preen his wings. Then he would tuck them both into bed, where they would fall into a deep sleep.
Grian finally felt safe.
Little did he know that a few hours later he would be woken by something. Something that wouldn't let him get a proper nights sleep for months and yet still have him feeling so, so happy.