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“Just the boys… TAKE YOUR SHIRTS OFF, BOYS!” emphasized our frontman, prowling around the stage. It was amazing how much influence he had over the show and the crowd, like the stage was built for him alone, how easy it was to command such a vast amount of people in the stadium, to induce such energy and life to a concert. Gerard’s stage persona was a 180-turn from his everyday personality. Originally more closed off, introverted, but with an ambitious mind full of extraordinary ideas, always finding a way to put his visions into action.
He donned a handsome all-black outfit for tonight’s show: a proper blazer and a black shirt underneath, perfectly capturing his fierce charm. Seven songs in, all of us were drenched in sweat. But Gerard was the one who truly captivated my eye. His slicked back jet-black hair, him being all sweaty like that, and his stage-antics were the cherry-on-top.
Standing at the right side of the stage, I tried diverting my attention back to keeping up with the rhythm and Ray’s guitar playing. But that was easier said than done, for Gerard had just started making a series of noises that totally messed with my focus. The sound of sin, in my ears, like he was doing this on purpose to me. Didn’t help that he was walking toward me from time to time, making those noises. I adjusted my guitar strap around my shoulders as a way to compose myself, trying to reduce the building heat around my face and neck.
And suddenly obscene pictures of me and him started whirling around in my mind. Catching sight of the single button holding his blazer together, how I wanted to strip him off of his outfit, how I longed to feel his lips on mine again, like how we did during previous shows, how I yearned for his touch on my face, my hair, my hands, all over me…
This was a strange feeling. Throughout our stage acts, never once did I take it to heart, never once I minded it. Yet, now… It was as if I was begging for it.
Before I knew what was happening, the man of the hour had moved his way to sing near me, pulled me by my shoulder, and pressed the side of my face to his chest. I let out a breath of surprise. His touch was electric against my skin. I played along anyway: nuzzling my cheek to his chest and shoulder. He pushed my head away, our eyes meeting for a split second, before he ran comically back to his position. I could’ve sworn I saw him throw me a smirk my way, but maybe that was just the product of my clouded mind.
I was convinced Gerard was doing all this just to make fun of me. It hadn’t been one song before he walked behind me and started trailing his hand down my shirt, feeling my chest. I leaned against his touch, bending backwards, and resting my head back against his shoulder, rubbing his sweaty hands with my hand. The crowd roared and cheered at us, clearly enjoying our banter. I let out a low involuntary groan, with a small mutter of his name when he pressed his face on the back of my neck. Nobody else could hear me. Of course he couldn’t answer me back, but he gave a tug at my hair and skipped back to his position. What a fucking tease.
The show was over at last. I gave a huge bow to the crowd, still strumming my guitar, and white sparks showered us over our heads. Gerard said his final appreciation to the crowd. I handed over my guitar to a stage crew and jogged back to our backstage area. On the corner of my eyes, I saw Gerard walking toward me. I quickened my pace, joining Ray and Mikey who were already backstage. They cheered and gave the other crew members high-fives, with me following their lead.
And then the inevitable arrived. The others went their way to help clear up the stage and pack everything back into the tour bus. I stayed backstage, chugging my water bottle down and dabbing my forehead with a towel. When I heard the creak of the backstage door, I glanced over my shoulder toward the person entering the room. I could recognize that blazer anywhere. I turned my head back. I was afraid that if I even glanced at the fierce face of my… "friend" standing there, my face would tell him as clear as day that my feelings toward him weren’t simply feelings of friendship anymore.
“Hey, Frank, you gonna help the others or nah?” Oh, he was right behind me.
“Uh, yeah, gonna go do that soon,” I racked my brains for something to do: fixing my hair, grabbing littering water bottles belonging to the others, fixing my shoes, anything I could just so I wouldn’t have to meet the pair of hazel eyes back.
Silence for a moment or two, before he spoke again, “What’s up with ya?” He gently grabbed one of my shoulders.
“Whaddya mean, I’m perfectly fine, dude. Uh, you know what, I’ll just go and help the others–”
Before I managed to make a run for it, Gerard turned to grab my arm, holding me in place, “Hey, something’s not right with you. Fuckin’ look at me when I’m talking to you!”
I stood frozen on the spot, still not looking at his direction.
“I’m sorry if I went too far earlier, Frankie. I know that we already agreed to do our usual antics, but I realize that I may or may not have gone too far… If that was why you were pissed, then I’m sorry. I solemnly swear that I won’t do that anymore.”
Pissed? Pissed at him? God, I was anything but pissed at him. The way he was grabbing my arm, he could easily pin me to the wall if he wanted to.
I pushed my luck and turned my face toward him. Our eyes met yet again, hazel upon hazel, trying to pierce straight into the depths of my heart, scavenging for the truth of my feelings toward him. I faced him fully, lowering his hand upon my arm.
“Gerard, I…”
“Sup?”
“Fucking hell, I can’t stop thinking about ya. You looking like that… Just… does stuff to me, aight? I…” I brushed my hair back in a stressed manner, “Fuck, our act shouldn’t have given such an effect toward me. But tonight… It did. I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I know what you were doing tonight… You–”
All of a sudden, he brought my gaze back up toward him. He whispered, with a slight smirk on his face, continuing my accusation, “--were riling me up, trying to make you fold? Sure, you could word it that way. You were staring a lot toward me. And it was a different kind of stare too. Plus…” he brought his lips closer to my ear, pulling me until we were practically pressed against each other, “I heard you groaning my name earlier.”
Warmth spread across my cheeks as a trail of chills ran down my spine, “I didn’t mean to do that–”
“Then, how about you tell me, did you enjoy it or no?”
“Oh, fuck yes,” I let out a hushed whisper, looking down toward the ground, “Do me a favor and do that again, Gerard.”
Gerard hummed into my ear, “Hmm, if you say so.”
What happened next was a mix of desperation and passion, bubbling to the surface like hot lava. I pulled him by his blazer and craned my neck to press our lips together. It felt like bursts of flames being ignited and spreading over us like wildfire. Gerard had a grip on my hair, strong but gentle, both of us swaying together like shrubs along the breeze, our legs gaining a rhythm of their own and leading both of us back into a wall. So sweet, the act of sin.
Gerard got a firm grip upon my shoulders, holding me in place by the wall. He tilted my face, trailing kisses upon kisses around my jaw and neck, eliciting more delighted groans from me, “You don’t know how much I want to do this to you, Frankie,” he muttered into my ear. Squirming when he reached a sensitive spot, I fumbled the button of his blazer, and eventually managed to tug it off him.
“Right now, Frank? Are you sure?” Hesitancy lingered in his voice.
“Yeah, sure, why not… Everyone’s out,” I answered, a little out of breath, before catching his lips yet again. I ran my hands around Gerard’s neck and collarbone, making him sigh between kisses. He pulled me close, pressing our warm bodies together. I could feel Gerard’s hands on my hips, caressing it lightly, before it went downwards, downwards, toward–
SLAM! “--And leaving us to work this out by ourselves! There you both are! What’s taking so fucking long?” the sudden booming voice of Ray and the appearance of our other band members snapped us both back to reality, like cutting off a tightening rope. Both of us jumped so far backwards that I managed to embarrassingly hit my head on the wall behind me and Gerard tripping over the couches. Trying to cover our deeds, Gerard picked his discarded blazer on the floor, whilst rubbing his nose with the back of his hand to hide any evidence on his lips, “Yes, yes, sorry, guys. Needed a little breather after the show, yanno? What’s left to be sorted out?”
As Ray, Mikey, and Bob talked things through with Gerard, they urged us to get out of the venue and help them out. We grudgingly followed them, tailing them from the back. Before going after the three other members, Gerard smirked at me and mouthed quietly:
“Meet me at my hotel room later.”