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When Mal left her attic room today, she was ready to finally take a break. The past few weeks had been a blur of training in the East Grassy Plains, sparring with the Napdragon, hunting down Red Wolves, and on some nights, taking down the elusive Spooky. She often came home late, just to get up at the crack of dawn to start her arduous routine once again. It wasn’t unusual for Mal to be out honing her magic, but the dark circles around her eyes and increasing scratches and bruises on her body had been causing Yuelia much worry.
“Just take a break for a day! Seriously, you’re scaring me a little…”
Mal didn’t want to scare Yuelia, so she decided to take her advice. And, admittedly, she did look like quite a mess in the mirror this morning. So on this wonderful sunny morning, Mal took a leisurely stroll around Castele, taking in the sights and sounds of the kingdom.
Yuelia always talks about how much she loves the sound of Castele. The hustle and bustle of the marketplace, the chirping birds heralding the dawn, the laughter of children playing in the plaza – they held a special place in the girl’s heart. To Mal, these were all mundane things, things that she never thought much of, things that were simply a part of life. She struggled to understand Yuelia’s perspective sometimes, but today, as she took the time to slow down and smell the roses, she began to feel the appreciation her friend had for these silly little things.
A chubby cat sleeping on the roof of the boutique, a vendor in the marketplace selling freshly caught fish from Mt. Snowpeak, a fledgeling alchemist experimenting with a new reagent they bought at the Artisan’s District, a fluffy bunny hopping around in the outskirts of Castele, Hazel teaching a new round of young aspiring Wizards…
Mal’s gaze turned to Hazel’s little outdoor classroom, where she was gleefully teaching basic elemental spells to a handful of children, maybe around 5-6 years old. She felt a strange melancholy swelling in her heart, feeling her chest tighten and her shoulders almost melting downwards. Their passion and interest in magic – she also felt that passion once at their age. It was that passion that drove her to push herself to the maximum, to be the greatest wizard there ever was, to live up to her parents’ legend.
If only they could see me right now.
Mal circled back to Hazel’s place a little while afterward, where she was now seeing her class off. Two children lingered behind, looking dejected as Hazel crouched down to comfort them. The pink-haired wizard looked up, noticing Mal approaching.
“Ah, Mal! I’m so glad to see you,” she greeted. Mal noticed her voice seemed a little… down.
“Hazel. Uh, it’s nice to see you too,” she replied, a little awkward as she slightly sunk into herself. She felt bad about it – Hazel was her friend, but she always felt to shy talking to her, and especially to Master Jinx.
Hazel smiled, then turned back to the two little girls in front of her. “Millie, Leslie, this is Mal. She’s one of my friends, and a super powerful wizard who saved the world!”
Mal tensed. “O-oh, haha, Hazel…” She scratched her head sheepishly, but couldn’t hide her little smile.
“No need to be so modest, Mal! You’re amazing!” Once again, Mal recognized a slight sadness in Hazel’s smile.
“A-anyways, it’s nice to meet you, Millie and Leslie. Were you, uh, talking to Hazel about something?” she asked. “If that’s okay, of course!” she added quickly.
Millie’s eyes looked puffy and red from crying. She sniffed. “W-well…”
“Do you want me to explain?” Hazel asked her gently. The sad little girl nodded.
“Millie and Leslie are best friends, and they’ve been attending my classes for a while,” Hazel explained. “But Millie’s family is moving to Al Maajik next week. Her father got a mercenary job there and they’ll be there for a while. Poor little Mille doesn’t want to say goodbye to Leslie…”
Mal felt her heart skip a beat. She had heard this story before – no, she had lived it herself. The image of a lonely little girl curled up beside her bed, waiting for someone to come home to her flashed in her mind. With a shake of her head, she tried to shake off that feeling of gnawing dread.
“I understand,” she said, careful to make sure she didn’t understand too well. She looked into Millie and Leslie’s eyes, and saw a familiar sadness in them. Leslie was quiet and reserved, not bawling her eyes out like her friend, yet Mal could sense the lump in her throat and hear her shaky breaths, as if she was trying her very hardest to not start crying too. She felt a swell of compassion for the two kids.
“If you two aren’t very busy today, do you want to walk around with me?” She gave them a small but comforting smile. “You two should make the most of the time you have left together, don’t you think?”
“Oh, that would be wonderful!” Hazel beamed. “You’re the best, Mal! Leslie, Millie, what do you two think?”
“O-okay…” Millie sniffled. She looked up at Mal with wide eyes.
“Really, Hazel, it’s nothing…” Mal sighed, before taking Millie’s hand.
“Alright, you kids like pudding?”
Kids do, in fact, like pudding. Mal had taken them to the Appleseed Cafe, one of her favorite spots in Castele. She ordered the three of them her favorite Honey Pudding and some Apple Juice, and watched the two kids scarf down their pudding like a pack of hungry Red Wolves – a visual which has been etched into her mind these past few weeks. She let out a small giggle.
“Wow, you practically inhaled those,” she noted.
“It’s super yummy!” Millie exclaimed, before deflating a little. “Man, I’m really gonna miss these.”
“Don’t be so disappointed. There’s a wonderful restaurant in Al Maajik that serves some truly magical desserts.”
“I guess…”
Mal frowned. She must have killed the mood. She glanced over at Leslie, who had cleaned her plate, but hadn’t spoken up once since they left Hazel’s house. She considered speaking up, but decided against it. Mal herself wasn’t any more of a speaker, after all.
“Hey, Miss Mal, what’s it like to be a wizard?” Leslie finally said, taking Mal a little off guard as she finished her pudding.
“Oh. Hm…” She pondered this question a little. “Well, it’s a lot of hard work and training.”
“Oh, yeah!” Millie exclaimed. “I see Nox training in the woods all the time!”
Mal nodded. “Yeah, something like that. But big wizards like me train out in the wilds. It’s too dangerous for kids like you, though…”
“When I grow up, I wanna become a strong wizard like you, Miss Mal,” Leslie said quietly, staring at her pudding plate. “So I can go study in Al Maajik like Hazel’s big brother. And be with Millie.”
Mal gave her an encouraging smile. “I think you can do that. You seem like a very dedicated aspiring wizard.”
There was a hint of sadness in her voice. She remembered her younger self sitting by the window, reading through dusty old tomes on magic under the pale light of Lunares. She thought back to those nights quite often these days, laying in bed looking over at the butterfly sleeping soundly in the little pile of pillows beside her bed. It was almost as if her dear friend had been watching over her all this time, a ray of light shining down from above even in her darkest nights.
“Oof, I can’t reach it,” Leslie pouted as she strained her little legs and hopped about, trying to grab a shiny red apple from a tree. “Sorry, Leslie…”
“It’s okay!” Leslie assured her. “Besides, Miss Mal already treated us to that pudding.”
The trio had wandered into the outskirts on their walk when Leslie had noticed a big, juicy apple hanging from a tree, basically begging to be picked and eaten. Unfortunately, it was quite high up, and shaking it didn’t help much, nor were any of the girls tall enough to reach it – much to Mal’s embarrassment.
“Still, it’s such a waste! A perfectly plump apple like that, doomed to fall into the lake!”
Mal stared at the apple, an idea forming in her mind. If Leslie and Millie wanted the apple so badly, she would get it for them – and she’ll look really cool doing it too.
She concentrated on the apple, focusing all her energy on the thin stem that connected it to the tree. She concentrated, and concentrated, letting everything else in the world but that point slip away.
Then, with a swift wave of her arm, she cast a sharp burst of wind magic towards that point, slicing the apple off of the tree with expert precision. She caught the apple, still in pristine condition, with her other hand, thinking about how cool she probably looked doing that. She couldn’t help but raise her head high with pride as she handed the apple to the girls.
Millie was squealing, hopping up and down with excitement. “That was so, so, so cool! You’re so, so, so COOL!”
I know, Mal thought to herself, indulging in a little bit of pride just this once.
“That was amazing…” Leslie gasped, her eyes wide with amazement. “How did you do that?”
“You just focus a lot, and then… boom,” Mal explained, rather unhelpfully. Guess she should leave the teaching to Hazel.
“I don’t get it,” Leslie muttered with her head slightly turned. “Oh well.” She took a bite of her apple.
“Man, I’m gonna miss the apple tree too…” sighed Millie, remembering her current predicament.
“Well, I’m sure they sell apples in Al Maajik too,” Mal assured her, before realizing that probably wasn’t the point.
“I guess…”
Feeling bad for ruining the moment again, Mal scanned the area too look for something to distract Millie. A paladin training by the stables, a fish swimming down the river, another fluffy bunny, a familiar-looking butterfly – ah, a bunch of sheep grazing in a pen. “Hey, Millie. Look at those cute little sheep.”
The little girl hurried over to the fence, climbing up to get a better view. “Awww! They’re so fluffy and cute and squishy and–”
While Mal watched Millie shout random adjectives at the sheep, she felt a tug on her sleeve. She looked down to see Leslie staring up at her with wide, solemn eyes. “Can I talk to you, Miss Mal?”
She looked Millie, then back at Leslie. “Alright. Let’s go over there.”
They stood by the river, far enough away for Millie not to hear their conversation. Mal crouched down to Leslie’s level, just as she saw Hazel do earlier. “What’s on your mind?”
“Millie’s moving away, and I wanna do something for her,” Leslie explained. “But I don’t know what. It feels like everything I think of isn’t enough! Do you have any ideas, Miss Mal?”
Mal’s face dropped a little. She thought over her answer, before finally speaking.
“Nothing you think of will be enough.” She said it so bluntly, like she was telling her younger self the hard truth. “You can try, but it won’t feel like enough.”
“Oh.” Leslie hung her head sadly. “But how will I show Millie how much I’ll miss her?”
Mal gave her a small smile. “I think you already have.”
“...Have I?”
“A little butterfly once taught me a very special lesson.” She glanced around, making sure a certain someone wasn’t lingering by. “Love isn’t always just laughing and hugging and happiness. Sometimes, love is also crying, or silence.”
“I don’t get it.”
Mal sighed. “Yeah. I’m not that good at explaining things. Just ask Hazel about it tomorrow.”
“Miss Mal, can I ask you one more thing?”
“Go ahead.”
“How do I tell Millie goodbye?”
Mal paused.
“...I don’t know.”
Mal stood at the balcony of the tiny attic she called home, gazing up at the night sky. Past woes gnawed at her skin, filling her with dread she tried to drown out through endless training. She was an amazing person – able to cut apples from trees with one strike, able to spar with powerful dragons like they were training dummies, able to save Reveria from its destined destruction.
And yet, this amazing person still had no idea how to say goodbye.
The word was a meaningless thing at this point, just an act of politeness with no weight behind its letters.
Actions were pointless as well, not even a miracle could convey the weight of a sorrowful goodbye.
She’s had to say goodbye so many times, and yet she’s never learned how to make it feel right. What to say, or what to do, so that she wouldn’t be consumed by that gnawing regret for years to come.
There was no way to show how she felt with words or actions alone. Sometimes, she wished she could cut her heart out with her wand and place it on a golden platter so that it could be seen, and felt, and heard in all its raw, indescribable passion. She wished for a way to show Weiss just how much she had missed them, how they remained in her mind for years to come, how she dreamed of their reunion for so long that it still didn’t feel real. She wished for a way to show her mother and father how she still waits for them, years later, how she wanted more than anything to see their faces again and make them proud. She’s witnessed the power of a wish before – how they held the power to stop the sky from falling down.
And yet, somehow, these wishes still couldn’t make the regret go away. They still couldn’t make “goodbye” hurt any less.
“Love isn’t always laughing and hugging and happiness, huh?” Mal sensed a presence behind her, as light and gentle as a butterfly.
“So, you did hear me,” Mal remarked, mentally straightening herself up as she turned to face her friend.
“Sorry, I was curious,” Yuelia apologized sheepishly, scratching the back of her head. “Also… I noticed you’ve been a little down lately. I thought you were just tired, but… is something wrong?”
Yuelia’s sympathetic face made Mal shrink back in guilt. She thought she was hiding it pretty well. “Just feeling a little melancholic lately, that’s all.”
Yuelia studied her face with concern then turned to look at the sky. “It’s a wonderful view, isn’t it? It’s one of my favorite things about living in Reveria.”
“It is,” Mal agreed with a nod. “That view got me through some low times. Sometimes, I would talk to the night sky. I would look up at Lunares and ask it to keep Mom and Dad safe.”
She then looked over at Yuelia. “I guess your dad must’ve felt pretty bad for me, huh?”
“Huh? No, no, that’s not what happened!” Mal chuckled.
“Still, I got pretty lucky. Now, I’m not up late at night talking to the stars. Instead, I’m up late at night talking to a butterfly.”
“I’m not even a butterfly right now…”
Mal looked back up at the sky. “Remember when we were about to fly to Lunares, and you were saying your goodbyes to everyone?”
“Yeah… it feels like so long ago, though.”
“I was really afraid, you know. Not about flying to Lunares, or Reveria possibly being destroyed – though those things did scare me a little bit. But more than anything, I was scared of saying goodbye. I didn’t want to say goodbye again.”
The silence that followed was an invitation for Mal to carry on.
“I hate goodbyes. Everything ends in a goodbye, and I hate it. I was afraid to make friends, because I feared the goodbye at the end of it all. I lived in solitude, because I feared that was my ultimate destiny. I didn’t want to say goodbye to you, like I said goodbye to Weiss, or Mom and Dad…”
She turned her gaze from the sky to the stone street below. “I think the worst part is not knowing what to do with the time you have left. How can you make the most of every dwindling moment? How can you express everything you are feeling – about them, about parting, about how you feel? How do you say you love them, and how do you say goodbye?”
“Well, you said it yourself, didn’t you?”
“Huh?”
Yuelia chuckled. “It’s funny, you said you learned it from me. But to tell you the truth, I think it’s me that learned it from you.”
“And what is this ‘it,’ exactly?”
“‘Love is also silence.’ That’s what you told Leslie earlier, right?”
Mal thought back to that moment – yeah, she did say that. She thought back to nights spent in the fields, laying on the soft grass in silence looking up at the stars. She thought about those quiet mornings, waking up to the light of dawn where Yuelia was already wide awake, watching people come and go from the window. Love is also silence – Mal cherished these moments, so full of love and happiness.
“...And you learned this from me?”
“You’ve always been more quiet and reserved when it comes to your feelings,” Yuelia explained, giving Mal a sheepish smile. “And yet, I still know just how much you care. Even if you don’t say it or show it directly – the love is still there.”
“Then how do you say goodbye?”
Yuelia shrugged. “To be honest, I don’t know either. But…” She was looking at Mal now, her white robe glowing in the moonlight. “...I don’t want to worry about that yet. I don’t want to say goodbye.”
Mal nodded. “Yeah… I agree.”
And once again, the two girls shared a moment of silent bliss with each other on the balcony, feeling the cold of the wind in their hair and the warmth of each other’s presence. Lunares was their witness, watching down on them, just like it always has.
“It’s getting late,” Yuelia noted. “You should sleep now.”
“I’m not tired yet,” said Mal. “I’ll stay up just a bit longer.”
“No way! At this rate, you’ll fall asleep in the middle of the East Grassy Plains and get eaten up by wolves!”
“I’ll be fine. You have an active imagination.”
“Also, clean your part of the room already!”