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The cold surface of the training room mat should have provided sweet relief against her sweat-soaked back. Instead, as she stared up at the ceiling tiles, all she could think about was her struggle to catch her breath after being slammed down onto it. Her vision swam, desperately trying to stabilize itself in turbulent waters as she blinked once, then twice. Above her stood Bucky Barnes, arms crossed and scowling down at her. “You can’t rely on your powers all the time, you know,” he chided, but there was no bite to his words, not really.
Lucy Jean couldn’t argue back because 1) he was right, and 2) she hadn’t quite regained lung function yet. So, she lay there, maybe hoping that Bucky would have pity on her and cut the training early while also wishing that it was Yelena who had taken on training her in physical combat and not the Winter Soldier. At least with Yelena, she could pout her lips a little and take on the demeanor of a kicked animal to get some sympathy.
Yelena’s voice whispered to her from this alternate reality. “I’m sorry, solnyshko.” The baby voice she’d say it with would be punctuated by a gentle pinch of her cheek, filling Lucy Jean with a swell of happiness.
Instead, she felt herself being hauled to her feet, letting out a wheezy breath that cracked on its way out. Bucky held onto her just long enough to ensure she was steady before backing up a few paces. “Alright, again,” he ordered. Despite very much not wanting to go again, she held her arms up as she positioned herself into a defensive stance, her green eyes tired but narrowed.
About thirty seconds later, Bob would walk into the training room like he was lost (he wasn’t; he just always had that air about him) to find Lucy Jean pinned to the mat by Bucky, her body bent at an angle he didn’t think was humanly possible. At the same time, Bucky looked like he hadn’t even broken a sweat.
“Uncle, uncle,” Lucy Jean gasped, frantically tapping the ground next to her with what little movement Bucky had allowed in his grapple.
As he released her, the same disapproving scowl remained on his face, watching as she sprawled across the floor with a relieved sigh before his head turned to Bob, who flinched at the man’s unknowingly harsh stare. “Did you need something?”
“Uh, yeah, Yelena wanted to see you in the common area,” he stammered. “Walker and Ava are getting into it, and she said it’s your turn to deal with ‘the children’.” He punctuated his statement with tiny quotation marks and a horrible impression of Yelena’s accent that made Lucy Jean giggle. He felt his cheeks warm.
Bucky sighed, the ferocious look on his face melting away as he stalked towards the exit of the training room, but not before glancing back over his shoulder at Lucy Jean. “I’ll be back, don’t get comfortable.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Lucy Jean groaned and gave a thumbs up from her position on the ground.
There’s a beat, a pause filled with silence as the doors close behind Bucky, leaving Bob and Lucy Jean alone. “He knows that you uh, you have powers, right?” He approaches the mat as she sits up with a wince, a muscle in her back she wasn’t even aware of throbbing with a dull ache.
“He thinks I rely on them too much,” she grumbled, and when she saw Bob begin to open his mouth, undoubtedly about to defend her, she added: “He’s right, I do.”
Bob’s gaze trailed Lucy Jean’s form, trying not to admire the way the spandex leggings clung to her soft curves or take too much notice of the bead of sweat that rolled down her chest, disappearing into a crevice he definitely didn’t find himself fixating on more than what was appropriate.
She wasn’t built like a fighter.
He hadn’t been either, but now he was decidedly bulletproof, wielding power he was scared to test the limits of. Lucy Jean, though, for the raw energy she could harness in battle, was still human. She didn’t have a super soldier serum to fall back on when she took a stray bullet, or the training of the Red Room driving her instincts in combat.
About a month ago, she and Yelena were sent on a mission to the Canadian wilderness, where some competitor for O.X.E. had set up a remote laboratory in an attempt to replicate Project Sentry. It wasn’t supposed to be a heavy, combative mission, simply reconnaissance—a quick in and out. They would've sent more than Lucy Jean and Yelena if they knew how heavily outfitted the operation was.
He wasn’t privy to all of the details of the mission. Still, it was bad enough that he had heard Bucky reprimanding Lucy Jean once she’d recovered, with Bucky making the executive decision that he would train Lucy Jean for combat despite her protestations. Bob couldn’t find it in him to think Bucky’s reaction was over the top, not when he knew how much Lucy Jean meant to Bucky, nor when he recalled the sight of Lucy Jean lying in the hospital bed after.
Bob’s eyes focused on the still pink and agitated scar across her neck where she’d almost had her throat slit had it not been for Yelena. Unbidden, images of Lucy Jean slumped against the wall with blood pouring from a jagged gash in her throat flashed through his mind. He blinked his eyes rapidly, trying to will away the thoughts.
“Do you want to spar with me?” she asked, breaking him from the invasive images that had begun to flood his mind. He looked at her, eyebrows pinching together, watching as she staggered to her feet. “You’ve been training with John, right?” She dusted imaginary dirt off her pants.
He doesn’t know why he doesn’t like how she calls Walker by his first name, but it makes his insides gnaw at each other, like coyotes to a carcass.
(He does know why, he just refuses to give the feeling a name.)
Bob must look like he’s about to say no because Lucy Jean adds, “No powers, promise!” He felt his resolve crumble the moment she batted her lashes at him in a way he knew she probably didn’t even realize what she was doing, nor the effect it had on him.
That’s how he found himself with Lucy Jean’s thighs pressed tightly around his head for a brief moment of pure joy before she’d launched herself back, bringing him down to the mat in a flourishing landing. The movement had dizzied him, and she took that opportunity to pin him in place, her left knee holding down his right arm while her right foot held his left, leaving her in a provocative position above him.
Bob swallowed hard as Lucy Jean breathed heavily above. She, of course, knew that had he wanted to, he could easily dislodge her from him, like it was nothing more than swatting a gnat. But, they’d said no powers, and she really needed a win today after getting her ass handed to her again and again by Bucky.
She was grinning as she asked, “Give up?”
Bob should have laughed and nodded; he should have tapped his fingers slightly on the mat to signify his concession. But he doesn’t do that. Rational thought seemed to have flown out the window the moment he felt the warmth of her body against his, and instead of conceding, he used his superhuman strength to lift Lucy Jean up and around, switching his body with hers on the mat.
A surprised noise escapes her when she realizes what happened. The grin had vanished from her face the second she felt Bob lift her into the air; instead, she stared up at him wide-eyed. She’s all too aware of his position between her legs, and of the fact that it makes her heart pound against her ribcage. He’s got both her wrists bound together with a single hand above her head, and there’s something about that fact that makes her head swim.
“I thought we agreed, no powers,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.
“I—” His breath caught in his chest. The rational part of his brain screamed at him to let her go, to get up and leave as quickly as possible before he did something he couldn’t take back. But he couldn’t, not when she was looking up at him like that, with half-lidded eyes and pupils dilated. Not when her gaze kept flickering down to his mouth as if she wanted him to kiss her. He leaned down further and could feel her breath fanning against his face.
He felt as if his heart might beat a hole right through his sternum and fly out of his chest as he tilted his head. She closed her eyes as though she was bracing for impact.
The training room door suddenly whooshed open. Bob moved so swiftly that he seemed like a blur, quickly putting distance between himself and Lucy Jean, who was now lying on the floor with a puzzled expression on her face.
Bucky stood there with his hands on his hips and his lips pursed. “What did I say about getting comfortable?” As he approached Lucy Jean, Bob took the chance to quietly slip away, as if he had never been there at all. “All right, let’s run it back.”
Lucy Jean groaned.
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Lucy Jean spent the remainder of the training so thoroughly distracted that Bucky ultimately took pity on her and decided to cut it short. In the shower, she lingered longer than necessary, only realizing halfway through that she had been staring blankly at the wall. Her mind was conjuring memories of Bob being on top of her, and she hadn't even picked up her loofah.
She wondered if he would have kissed her if Bucky hadn’t walked in. She hoped he would have, even though her heart ached at the thought of not having another chance. Perhaps it had been a one-time thing, a fleeting moment between them that passed by like a ship sailing through the night.
Throughout dinner, she became increasingly resigned to the thought that she had messed it up, whatever ‘it’ was between her and Bob. He sat in the chair farthest from her, and despite her efforts to catch his eye, he seemed to be deliberately avoiding her gaze.
The rest of the team chatted while Lucy Jean pushed the food around her plate, trying her best not to cry. She liked Bob, and she had been wrestling with that realization for months. At first, she told herself it was just a simple crush that would fade with time and proximity. However, it didn't fade; instead, those feelings grew and festered in her chest until she could no longer bear it.
So she told Yelena.
“Solnyshko, you sly fox,” Yelena had whispered, a little waggle to her eyebrows. “I did not realize you were into the quiet type.” Lucy Jean could still remember the way her face burned as she buried it in her hands, desperately trying to hide the blush that had formed from the blonde who seemed all too amused by the situation at hand. “You must tell him.”
Lucy Jean sputtered. “No!”
Yelena coiled back, lips pouted, and eyebrows pinched. “But why not?”
“I-I… I don’t think he’s interested,” she said.
That’s when Yelena had laughed, loudly. She flicked away a stray tear that had gathered at the corner of her eye as she settled. “Oh, you are so funny, Lucy Jean.” Her face straightened in a way that made Lucy Jean sit more upright in her seat. “Bob is so in love with you, it is pathetic.”
Lucy Jean’s mouth hung open as she gaped like a fish out of water. “I, w-what?”
Yelena nodded, waving her hand as she sipped her tea. “He is like little puppy! He follows you around, waits for you to come home, carries your slipper when you are gone—it is all very cute!”
“He doesn’t do that.”
“Oh, but he does,” Yelena argued. “You are just too wrapped up in that pretty little head of yours,” – she leaned forward and poked a finger at Lucy Jean’s forehead – “... to notice.”
Lucy Jean wanted to shake her head and tell Yelena she was wrong, but she knew Yelena wouldn’t lie to her. Yelena never shared something unless she was sure it was true. So, Lucy Jean had to take Yelena’s words at face value: maybe Bob was interested in her, and perhaps he cherished the small moments that had occurred between them just as much as she did.
“You should tell him,” Yelena advised as she leaned back in her seat. “Men are very stupid when it comes to feelings.”
That had been a month ago, and Lucy Jean had very clearly not told him. Maybe she was also very stupid when it came to feelings. Or she was very stupid when it came to Bob.
After dinner, Lucy Jean stayed in the kitchen longer than usual after helping to clean up the dishes. She knew that soon everyone would start to leave, either going to bed or staring at their ceilings—whatever they did in the privacy of their own rooms.
Not Bob, though. He was curled up on the couch, illuminated by just enough overhead light to read his book. That's where she found him, bathed in a warm glow, with a fuzzy blanket spread across his lap—one that Yelena had bought him for "maximum coziness." She stood there for a moment, taking in the contours of his face and noticing how he chewed on his bottom lip while he read.
“Um, hi,” she said after clearing her throat.
He jumped at the sound of her voice, blanket already halfway off his lap as he made to stand. “O-oh, hey! Uh, I can leave if you want to–”
Lucy Jean interrupted, “Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you.” His mouth hung open in surprise, and Lucy Jean fought to suppress the wave of embarrassment that surged up her spine. Nonetheless, she felt her legs move on their own, carrying her until she stood in front of him, nervously fidgeting with her fingers. “Earlier today in the training room—”
“It’s fine,” he said with a tight smile, his eyes not quite meeting Lucy Jean’s. “We can just forget it happened.” He gathered up his blanket, holding his book to his chest in a way that Lucy Jean felt he was trying to put something, anything, between them. He hesitated a moment, shuffling awkwardly around Lucy Jean, who stood still, eyes downcast, staring at the spot he had just been occupying as she heard him walk away.
There was a lump in her throat that she felt grow bigger as her bottom lip wobbled and her vision blurred with tears. It felt like there was a canyon between them now, expansive and growing, little by little.
“Oh… okay,” she whispered to no one.