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By the time Ben and Gwen returned from the Plumbers’ Academy, it was morning in Bellwood. The ride home had been uncomfortably silent, the events of the night weighing on them heavily.
She didn’t understand how Ben could stomach the thought of killing Kevin, let alone consider doing it. Kevin had absorbed the Ultimatrix to save the universe, yet Ben was treating him no different from Aggregor. Unless Kevin let the Plumbers take him into custody until they could restore his human form, things between her and Ben were going to come to a head eventually. She could only hope against all odds that Ben would change his mind, because there was no way she was changing hers. Kevin could still be saved.
Paradox had warned Kevin before they faced Aggregor in Los Soledad that things would go south. She believed a part of him still remembered that warning, even if subconsciously. The real Kevin was still in there somewhere, fighting for control. He had to be. If he wasn’t…
Gwen hurriedly entered her house, struggling to contain the long-suppressed emotions threatening to bubble to the surface. Her parents sat at the dining table, helping themselves to breakfast. Her arrival caught their attention, relief washing over them. She rarely divulged the details of her missions, but she knew they always worried she wouldn’t make it home one day.
Uncharacteristically, she didn’t move to hug or even greet them. “Already ate,” she blatantly lied. Without letting them reply, she ran up the stairs to her room. A messy pile of spellbooks sat on her desk, and dirty clothes littered the floor. With everything going on, keeping her room tidy wasn’t exactly high on her list of priorities.
She shut the door with more force than she’d intended. After taking off her shoes, she collapsed on her unmade bed, lying prone. Overcome with exhaustion, she closed her eyes.
That’s when she recalled the vivid image of Kevin holding a bolt of electricity a mere inch from her face, his expression stoic as he debated killing her.
That was the final push. The gravity of all that had happened since Kevin mutated grew too much to bear. Before she knew it, her body convulsed as she sobbed loudly, the sounds muffled by her pillow. Any effort to stifle them (like steadying her breathing or biting her lip) made her cry even more, small hiccups escaping with every sob. She didn’t think it was possible to hurt this much.
The last time she cried like this was when she thought Grandpa Max had died. In a way, it felt like she was mourning again; mourning the Kevin she knew and what they had.
A series of hesitant knocks on the door interrupted Gwen’s train of thought. Her mother Natalie’s voice came from the other side, concern apparent in every word. “Gwenny, are you okay?”
Gwen lifted her head from the pillow and choked back a sob. Her throat was sore from crying, making her voice hoarse. She should have known her mother would suspect something was wrong. She’d sensed her outside the door but thought she was just passing by. “Y—Yeah, Mom. Just— Just tired, that’s all.” Another lie.
Natalie pressed on. “Do you want me to make you something to eat?”
Gwen’s stomach growled, begging her to relent. She hadn’t eaten in hours. As hungry as her body was, her mind wasn’t up to it. “I wanna be left alone.”
“You know I’m always here if you wanna talk, sweetie.”
Gwen didn’t reply. There was nothing she could say to make her understand. When she was sure her mother had left, she planted her face in the pillow, and the tears continued flowing.
Eventually, when she couldn’t bring herself to cry anymore, she rolled over, too paralyzed by her emotions to do anything except stare at the ceiling. Five full minutes must have passed before a vibration in her pocket spurred her out of inaction. She fished out her phone and flipped it open. Through the cracked screen (courtesy of all the moving around she did in battle), she saw one of many texts from Emily asking her if she was alright. Her thumb hovered over the keypad. Should she be honest or spare her the details?
She decided to reply with a simple “Talk bout it later” and put her phone on her bedside table.
Slipping her hand under her tear-stained pillow, she pulled out a gold locket that Kevin gave her the last time he was mutated. He’d said it was something to remember him by, which, at the time, she thought was ridiculous. He’d looked different than before but he was still her Kevin in all the ways that mattered. This time, the differences ran much deeper. She didn’t recognize the cold, violent person he’d become. Not only had he nearly killed her and Ben, he’d nearly killed Morgg and Argit, too, and without a second thought. In fact, as far as he knew, he’d succeeded. They were far from model citizens and definitely deserved justice for what they’d done, but not death.
She opened the locket and admired the photo of her and Kevin’s smiling faces. She’d give anything to relive that wonderful night at the pier, if only to see the real Kevin again.
With a low groan and a lot of reluctance, she got out of bed and dragged her feet across the hardwood floor to her bathroom. In the mirror, she saw dark bags under her misty eyes and a deep frown etched on her face. The miserable sight would have made her cry again if she had any energy left for it.
She forced herself to take a shower with whatever willpower remained. She didn’t feel any emotionally better after the fact, but at least she felt fresh. When rummaging through her closet to find something to wear, she found one of Kevin’s T-shirts among her own. How it had gotten there or how long it had been there, she couldn’t recall.
She clutched the shirt tightly to her chest, the soft fabric brushing her skin. The shirt was so seeped in his scent and mana that it was almost like he was right there with her. If she only closed her eyes, she could pretend just for a moment that he was there, holding her close.
But there was no use in pretending. She couldn’t let herself be swept up in fantasies, no matter how enticing they were. Not now.
It took all her self-control not to track him down. Despite the trillions of energy signatures populating the mana field, she knew his too well. She’d be able to pick him out almost immediately. Once she did that, she’d try to contact him telepathically, or worse, see him in person. She wasn’t known for being stupid and had no intention of changing that.
But he was out there, and whether he realized it or not, he needed her help, and she needed a plan.
Enough wallowing.
Gwen delicately placed Kevin’s shirt on her bed. After changing, she picked up her dirty clothes off the floor and tossed them into her hamper. She glanced at the spellbooks on her desk. Her past attempts had been fruitless, but she had to keep trying. If their roles were reversed, he’d move heaven and Earth to save her. He deserved that same treatment.
“I’m not giving up on you,” she said, both as a promise to him and a vow to herself.