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Steve is at target, trying to find everything he needs to move into his new apartment next week when he hears a hiccup. He turns into the next aisle to find a little girl crying.
“Are you okay?” Steve says, kneeling down next to the kid.
“I lost my daddy,” she hiccups through the tears. Steve’s heart is crushed. This is the single cutest little girl he’s ever seen and will do whatever it takes to find her dad.
“Let’s go find him,” Steve offers. “My name is Steve, do you know what your daddy needed to buy next?” He asks.
“I think he said we needed paper towels,” she hiccups again. “His name is Bucky Barnes and he’s missing an arm.” She adds. Steve is surprised by the girl knowing to describe her dad to him without asking.
“Let’s go find him,” Steve says, standing back up and offering a hand to hold. The little girl takes it and they begin to walk to the paper towel section.
“Daddy!” The girl yells and runs off down an aisle. A man turns around and Steve’s knees feel weak. The man looks around 30, he’s got long hair pulled back into a bun with some strands falling into curls around his face. He’s wearing nicely fitting work pants, a button up shirt with the sleeve rolled up. The left arm is pinned where his shoulder ends. He’s got bright blue eyes filled with relief at the sight of his daughter.
“Oh my god Becs there you are! Where did you go Baby?” The man — Bucky (which Steve is now realizing is a very odd name) drops onto his knees as the girl runs at him and he hugs her tightly.
“Mr Steve calmed me down and helped me find you!” She declares, pointing right at Steve who is standing awkwardly at the end of the aisle.
“Thank you so much, I’m Bucky,” The man walks up and offers out his hand to shake. Steve takes a moment before gripping Bucky’s hand and shaking it for probably too long.
“Steve. Glad I could help, she looked so sad and I couldn’t stand it,” Steve gives a nervous chuckle. Bucky studies him for a moment. He’s wearing a hat but standing face to face it’s pretty obvious he’s Captain America.
“I swear I’m not usually a bad dad-“
“No!” Steve says a little too quickly. “I mean you looked so worried. You obviously care about her a lot.” Steve adds, stumbling over his words. Damn one pretty man can take down the strongest super soldier in the world.
“Thanks,” Bucky smiles and they just stare at each other for a moment. The little girl is holding onto his leg now, pulling his pants to get his attention.
“Yes Baby?” Bucky says, bending down to pick her up in a practiced motion.
“Thank you!” She says, jumping out of Bucky’s arm and grabbing Steve around the neck in a hug.
“Becs! You can’t just jump on people-“
“It’s alright. I’m glad you’re okay sweet pea” Steve says, grabbing her before she falls between the two men and puts her down. She hugs him around the legs one more time before running back to decide what gummies she wants from the shelf next to their cart.
“Thanks again. I gotta get back to shopping before I lose her again,” Bucky says, turning around and walking over to his daughter.
“No problem,” Steve says.
…….
“He was the most beautiful dude I’ve ever seen in my life,” Steve sighs, putting his face down in his hands.
“Steve, why didn’t you ask for his number?” Sam says, grabbing a beer from the fridge.
“He’s got a daughter. He’s definitely married. Even if he wasn’t, he’s definitely straight, I mean that kid looked just like him,” Steve counters.
“Bi and Pan people exist dumb ass,” Sam flicks Steve in the arm before settling down next to him on the couch. “Did you at least get his name? Maybe Stark could look into it for you,” Sam offers.
“I don’t want Tony’s help. This stays between us. His name was Bucky Barnes,” Steve sighs again, shoving his face deeper into his palms. Sam doesn’t say anything for a moment.
“Try going back next week. Maybe he shops at the same time every week,” Sam says. “Are you still coming to help with the VA meeting next week?”
“Yeah, just tell me what time.” Steve says, happy with the subject change.
……
“Here goes nothing,” Steve says, getting out of Clint’s car and grabbing a few boxes from the trunk.
“I’ll get the last few boxes. You head upstairs man” Clint says, reaching into the trunk as well. Steve enters the apartment building, going up to the third floor where his new apartment is. He hasn’t seen it in person yet. Tony picked it out with Natasha. He unlocks the door and it opens to an empty living room. He can see an open kitchen on the other end of the room. There’s a small hallway leading to a bathroom and two bedrooms. It’s simple but a good apartment for him to hang out in while waiting for missions.
“Nice place” Clint says from the doorway. “I think you’ve got a kid next door though. Could hear some giggling from the hallway.” Clint places the boxes down on the floor with a groan.
“That’s fine. I’m sure it won’t be a problem.” Steve says with a smile.
“You want help unpacking or am I free to go?” Clint jokes.
“You can go. I’m kind of tired, might head to bed soon and unpack in the morning. Thanks for the help though. I really appreciate it.”
“No Problemo. See you later man,” Clint says, running down the stairs and leaving. Steve makes dinner, sitting on the couch Tony put in yesterday and watching some TV.
Just as he is about to finish dinner, there’s a knock on the door. He gets up and unlocks it. He finds none other than Bucky and the little girl from the store. Bucky and Steve stare in shock for a moment, and Steve swears he sees a pink tint on Bucky’s cheeks before the girl interrupts.
“Mr Steve! You’re our new neighbor?” She says, hugging him around the legs.
“I am! Wow what a coincidence” Steve chuckles nervously.
“We made you lasagma!” she says enthusiastically.
“Lasagna, baby” Bucky corrects her sweetly. He looks up at Steve again, handing the lasagna over. “Little welcome gift,” Bucky smiles at Steve. Steve promptly melts.
“Wow- thank you,” Steve smiles at the gesture. “I thought the door said J Barnes? Is that your wife?” Steve asks curiously.
“Oh I-” Bucky stops for a moment. “I’m not married, just me and Becs. Bucky’s a nickname that everyone calls me. My legal name is James,” He explains.
“Oh I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have assumed!” Steve says quickly, face burning. He shouldn’t have assumed there was a woman involved, that’s rude.
“Not a problem. I mean single dad’s are pretty rare,” Bucky just brushes it off and chuckles. Steve can’t help but smile. God he’s so gone for this man.
“Just makes them all the better I guess,” Steve looks down at Becca so Bucky can’t see his red face.
“Do you want to come eat dinner with us?” Bucky offers. “I’m a pretty bad cook but it beats eating alone. If you aren’t planning on going out of course.”
“That would be great if you don’t mind a third,” Steve can’t help but accept the offer, even if it means double dinner. They head over to the Barnes apartment. Steve is amazed how lived in this little apartment looks. The layout is the same as Steve’s, yet it’s so much cozier. There’s stuffed animals, Crayons and drawings scattered around the living room. A prosthetic arm lays across the coffee table. A few things are pinned on the fridge with letter magnets and the furniture is worn in a comfortable way.
“Sorry about the mess,” Bucky says, walking into the kitchen.
“Not a problem at all. There’s basically nothing in mine so I have no space to judge,” Steve says, letting Becca grab his hand and guide him to the kitchen table. There’s a few papers on the table and a history book. “What do you do for work?” Steve asks Bucky.
“I’m a history teacher at Midtown,” He says, mixing something in the pot on the stove. The sunlight is brushing through the open window next to him, leaving a streak of light making Bucky glow.
“He does musicals too!” Becca says excitedly. “I get to be in them! Auntie Becca brings me after preschool!”
“That’s wonderful!” Steve says. “Who’s Auntie Becca?” Steve asks. Bucky turns around to answer him.
“My little sister Rebecca. We call her big Becs because I named little Becs after her,” Bucky explains. “She’s my best friend.”
“That’s amazing. I didn’t have any siblings growing up,” Steve says in thought. He’d always wanted siblings, but his dad was gone and his mother couldn’t afford more children.
“I know,” Bucky says, almost not realizing it. Then Steve notices that’s the first time Bucky has even made a mention of knowing who Steve is. Obviously he does, being a history teacher. It makes Steve feel all warm inside, not being treated like Captain America.
“Dinner is served,” Bucky says, putting a plate of Pasta in front of Becca and then one in front of Steve before sitting down with his own. “It’s not much, I’m kind of tired from work today.”
“It’s amazing, thank you,” Steve says, taking a bite. It’s nothing special, just regular pasta and sauce. But the fact Bucky made it with one arm impresses Steve immensely. They eat, letting Becca chatter about whatever she would like.
They do this for the next two weeks, Steve comes over for dinner a couple nights a week. He always leaves when Bucky is bringing Becca to bed.
“Baby it’s almost bedtime. Let’s go change and brush our teeth, okay?” Bucky says, standing and grabbing his plate. Steve stands as well, grabbing the plate from in front of Becca so Bucky doesn’t need to make two trips.
“Okay Daddy!” Becca says before disappearing down the hall.
“I invited you. You don’t need to help me clean up,” Bucky says, looking at the plates in Steve’s hand.
“Well my mother taught me to always be polite and offer assistance” Steve counters. Bucky just sighs and lets Steve follow him to the kitchen where they place the plates and forks into the dishwasher.
“If you want to stay longer I just have to tuck Becs in. You can sit on the couch and I’ll be back in a minute,” Bucky says, pointing over to the living room. “You’re welcome to leave too.”
“I’d rather stay” Steve smiles and heads over to the couch. Bucky had never really invited him to stay longer after dinner, but it’s a welcome offer. Bucky disappears and Steve can hear small giggles from down the hallway. Bucky walks back into the room a few minutes later.
“Do you want water?” Bucky asks.
“I’m alright, thank you” Steve replies. Bucky nods and sits a few feet from Steve on the couch.
“Sorry I don’t have any beer. I’ve been sober since I took on Becs” Bucky sighs.
“Not a problem. Can’t really enjoy beer anyway, super serum and all that” Steve says. He doesn’t care about beer. He feels intoxicated just being around Bucky. “What do you mean ‘took in’ if you don’t mind me asking?”
“5 years ago I fucked up and got super wasted at a party right before I got sent on my first military assignment. Got a girl pregnant. Didn’t even know until I was in Afghanistan and got a letter. Got back a year later and went through therapy and physical therapy. Her mother couldn’t afford to keep Becca after losing her job so she asked if I wanted to take her in. So I sobered up, got my life together and took in a three year old girl” Bucky explains. “Sorry, that was like a whole trauma dump.” Bucky shoves his face into his hand, letting out a long sigh.
“Hey, I asked. What branch did you serve in?” Steve placed an arm on Bucky’s right shoulder. Steve always appreciates a topic change, so he thinks maybe Bucky will. He takes the bait.
“I was on a Special forces team. I was a sniper until some dumbass bomb blew up and took my arm with it,” Bucky lifts his head, looking Steve in the eyes. “Sucks, but I’ll live.”
“I mean, you seem pretty happy now to me,” Steve says.
“Yeah. Becca’s probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Even if she’s a pain in the ass sometimes” Bucky smiles softly while he talks about his daughter.
“I can tell you adore her,” Steve says.
“Really do. Oh and the name you’ve been calling her-“
“Oh sorry I should have asked!” Steve says, face flushing red with embarrassment.
“No no it’s cute. I’d love to know how you came up with it” Bucky smiles at Steve.
“My mom used to call me it” Steve says, running a hand through his hair. “I think she came up with it from all the frozen peas she used to put on my face when I got into a fight,” Steve laughs. Bucky chuckles with him.
“She sounds like a wonderful woman,” Bucky smiles.
“She really was.” Bucky’s phone goes off in his pocket.
“Shit, sorry one second,” Bucky says, accepting the call. “Hey Sis. What’s up?” Bucky says. There’s a muffled voice on the other end, Steve can’t make it out. “Oh shit okay. I’ll find a way to get her. No no it’s fine, hope everything is okay. Love you, bye.” Bucky lets out a long sigh, shoving his face into his hand again.
“Is everything okay?” Steve asks, worried about the change in demeanor from Bucky.
“My niece. She’s really sick apparently and my sister can’t pick Becca up from school tomorrow. I’ve gotta tell my students we can’t have practice for the musical,” Bucky sighs again, fiddling with his phone.
“I could pick her up,” Steve says before even thinking. “Well you probably don’t really trust me with her, you hardly know me-“
“Steve, are you serious? That would be amazing. If you’re really up for it,” Bucky lights up. Steve would do anything in the universe to keep him like this.
“Of course. I can watch her until you get home if you’d like,” Steve offers.
“That would be perfect” Bucky beams. Bucky puts his number into Steve’s phone.
They talk for a little while longer before Steve heads back to his apartment to go to sleep.
….
The next afternoon, Steve arrives at the preschool Becca goes to. Bucky notified the school that he’d be picking her up, so there should be no trouble.
“Stevie!” He hears a small voice shout before barreling into him.
“Hey Sweet Pea! Did your daddy tell you I’m babysitting today?” Steve asks.
“Yup!” She pops the p. “We can draw together!” She shouts excitedly.
“We better get going if you want to have lots of playtime” Steve smiles.
They get back to the apartment building, Bucky gave Steve a spare key last night so they could get in.
“Alrighty Sweet Pea. I’m going to get you a snack, do you want to get your art supplies?” Steve asks, putting Becca’s backpack on the hook by the front door. Becca nods and runs to her room. Steve cuts up an apple into slices and waits at the table. Becca comes running back a few minutes later with pencils, crayons and paper.
“Stevie, do you like to draw?” Becca asks, biting into her apple slice.
“Of course I do Sweet Pea” Steve smiles. They sit and draw for about an hour. Becca tells Steve all about her day, and Steve reacts at appropriate times. Like gasping when Becca told him that Jamie put gum in Bella’s hair. Steve ends up drawing a little sketch of Becca drawing and telling stories. She seems to stick her tongue out of her mouth just a little when she’s really focused.
“Stevie, look!” Becca holds up her drawing of a monkey and banana.
“That’s amazing!” Steve says in mock awe.
“You should come over more Stevie. Daddy and I really like you” Becca says, focusing on her next drawing of a rainbow.
“That’s really nice of you Sweet Pea. I really like you and your daddy too,” Steve’s heart melts at the voiced emotion from Becca. She’s such a sweet kid. Becca looks at Steve with a big smile on her face and giggles. Suddenly, the front door opens to reveal Bucky.
“daddy!” Becca shouts, jumping up from the table and rushing to hug her dad.
“Hey Baby,” Bucky says, giving her a big hug. “Aren’t rushing to give me a hug too?” He adds, looking at Steve walking over.
“Think I’m full on hugs from Becca” Steve jokes. He’d love to hug Bucky, or kiss him. But he isn’t going to voice that thought.
“Darn, maybe next time” Bucky smiles. “She didn’t tire you out too much?”
“Not at all. We drew for a while and she had apple slices too,” Steve says. “She’s a great kid.”
“Yeah” Bucky breathes. They fall into silence for a moment, just admiring each other. “Well, do you want to stay for dinner?” Bucky adds after the moment is over.
“I’d love to,” Steve answers, picking up a few stray crayons from the floor to busy his hands.
They sit down for dinner about 30 minutes later. They’re talking just when Steve’s phone goes off.
“Shit. I have to go,” Steve says, quickly getting up from the table and grabbing his plate.
“Leave the plate. Go” Bucky says quickly. Steve nods and runs out of the apartment.
….
The next few days are rough. Some HYDRA base has been active and needed to be taken out immediately. Then it turned into a chase to get the goons who escaped. Bucky’s been texting, checking to see if everything is okay. It makes Steve’s heartbeat a little faster knowing Bucky cares about him.
“Who are you texting Rogers?” Sam smirks at him. No one else is around, and Sam’s finally going to interrogate Steve about his little crush.
“I moved in next to the guy from Target” Steve sighs. Sam’s face twists into an unrecognizable expression before lighting up.
“No way,” He says in disbelief. “You guys becoming friends? …. More than friends?” Sam asks.
“No. Just friends, I help out watching his daughter Becca sometimes when he has work stuff. Eat dinner with them a few times a week is all” Steve says, looking back down at his phone at the new message from Bucky.
“You eat dinner with them? Like a family?” Sam asks, raising an eyebrow.
“No. Just a new neighbor who lives alone and he’s being nice” Steve says, irritated.
“Do you ever hang out when the kid’s not there?”
“Just once. Day before we left. We just talked about his time in the military and Becca. Sam, we’re just friends.”
“Whatever you say man” Sam says, backing off from the topic.
……
Steve walks back into his apartment exhausted. It’s 12 am, he’s still in uniform, and praying no one saw him enter the building. He’s just about to hop into the shower when there is a knock on the door. He opens it to find a worried Bucky.
“Holy shit Steve! Are you okay?” Bucky says, using his hand to move the sticky hair off of Steve’s forehead. Bucky’s in his pajamas, probably having jumped out of bed when he heard Steve enter.
“I’m fine, I’m fine. Just tired and a little beat is all,” Steve says, swaying.
“A little beat? You’re covered in bruises and cuts. Let me help” Bucky walks in before Steve can even reply. He drags Steve over to the couch and sits him down. “Where’s your first aid kit?” Bucky asks.
“Mirror in my bathroom,” Steve replies, sinking into the couch. Bucky disappears for a moment. He returns with the first aid kit in his hand.
“I’m cleaning the cuts. It might sting.” Bucky warns before pressing a cloth into the gash on Steve’s forehead. It stings, but Steve is too tired to react. “What the hell Steve? Your arm is basically cut open” Bucky says, hovering a hand over the open wound. “Take your shirt off so I can clean it up.”
“Bucky, I’m fine. really. I heal fast-“
“Bullshit. I know it hurts. Shirt off and I’m not letting you sleep until you’re cleaned up” Bucky demands. Steve decides it’s best not to argue and peels the top part of his uniform off. Bucky takes the cloth to the wound and Steve hisses in pain. The large cut hurts tons more.
“Fuck, that hurts” Steve groans. He finally opens his eyes and finds Bucky looks tons more worried than he thought he was. Steve feels like an asshole now. He was trying to convince Bucky he was fine when it was so clear he wasn’t. “Sorry for worrying you” Steve says more quietly.
“I’d rather worry now and fix it than later and find you with infections and bleeding out” Bucky says, avoiding eye contact. It’s still mostly dark in Steve’s apartment, besides a lamp behind Bucky. Steve can’t see his face anymore.
Bucky finishes cleaning any more cuts on Steve’s torso and helps him walk to bed.
“I gotta shower Buck,” Steve mumbles in a weak protest.
“You can barely stand. Sleep and then shower in the morning,” Bucky says, dropping Steve onto his bed. He puts the blanket over Steve and he swears he feels something warm on his forehead. He falls asleep in seconds.
…….
Steve wakes up the next day and showers immediately. He comes out of the bathroom and finds a note from Bucky.
I left you some breakfast in your fridge. Stole the spare key last night, hope you don’t mind. I’ll bring it back to you after work. - Buck
Steve smiles. He walks into the kitchen and finds pancakes and fruit in the fridge. He immediately heats the pancakes up and eats the fruit. He’s going to confess to Bucky in the next week if he keeps this up. Steve spends the rest of the day on the couch, resting his tired body. Around 4pm, there’s a knock.
“Bucky, is that you? Come in!” Steve shouts. He’s on the couch and is so sore he doesn’t want to get up. The door unlocks so he knows it was Bucky.
“Hey Steve. How are you doing?” Bucky says, putting the spare key into the dish by the door.
“Sore. But it’ll be fine by tonight, super healing” Steve replies. Bucky comes and sits down in the chair next to the couch.
“Glad. Sorry about stealing your key but I had to lock the door” Bucky says, pointing in the general direction of the door. He’s still looking at Steve nervously and worried.
“Bucky, I’m fine” Steve pushes. He hates seeing Bucky worry so much about him. He can take care of himself.
“Didn’t say anything” Bucky grumbles.
“I can see it on your face. I’m a superhero, I can handle myself.” Steve sits up on the couch. Bucky comes and sits next to him, placing his hand on Steve’s forearm.
“Well you don’t have to. I’m here to help,” Bucky’s face goes uncharacteristically soft for a moment. The look Steve only sees when Bucky watches Becca from afar when he thinks no one is looking.
“Thank you,” Steve says sincerely. He places his hand on top of Bucky’s. They sit there for a moment before Bucky speaks.
“Do you still want to come over for dinner? Becca isn’t home, she’s spending the night with my sister. It’d just be us if that’s okay,” Bucky asks, avoiding eye contact and swallowing.
“Sounds good to me,” Steve smiles.
“I was thinking about ordering out. Chinese or something that I can only have when Becca’s not home” Bucky says.
“I love Chinese food” Steve’s stomach rumbles on cue and Bucky chuckles.
“I’ll order right now then” Bucky says, moving his hand to grab his phone from his pocket. He places an order that will arrive in about 20 minutes.
“Do you want to watch anything?” Steve says, holding the remote out to Bucky. Bucky shakes his head and Steve puts the remote back down on the coffee table.
“Do you mind if I talk about something.. sort of serious? I need an unbiased opinion” Bucky asks nervously. Steve nods for him to continue. “So Thanksgiving is coming up. I usually go to my parents house with Becca but I don’t really contact them outside of holidays. Last year was.. rough. My parents are super religious. Mostly my dad. But I’m not and that caused some problems, but it was manageable. But then I had Becca and didn’t marry the woman. Obviously I didn’t because I’m gay but-“
“You’re gay?” Steve asks in shock. “Sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“No it’s fine-“ Bucky starts. “Wait. You didn’t know?” He asks, shocked.
“Well you had Becca with a woman and you hadn’t said anything about ever seeing a man so-“ Steve starts but decides he’s interrupted enough. “Sorry, continue.”
“Well my parents were pissed. I came out to them like 10 years ago and they never got over it. My dad talks shit about it all the time. I went minimal contact after the first time they met Becca. They keep trying to push the religious beliefs onto her and convince her I’m a bad person. We fight like shit and I don’t want to scare Becca but I didn’t want to just stop seeing them all together. I don’t want to take Becca’s grandparents away and I don’t know what to do-“ Bucky’s started breathing harder now, running his hand through his hair.
“Hey, Bucky look at me” Steve says, placing a hand on Bucky’s bicep. “Breathe.” Bucky nods and breathes slowly as Steve counts for him.
“Fuck. Sorry I’m such a mess” Bucky shoves his face into his hand.
“Hey, it’s fine. Do you want to know what I think about your situation?” Steve says. Bucky swallows hard and nods, looking Steve in the eyes for the first time in several minutes.
“I see a dad who’s trying his best to give his daughter the world. You’re scared of stripping Becca of knowing her grandparents. But to be honest with you, they’re not worth it. You should be worried about Becca and you. If this is going to stress you out, it’s not worth it. You should be enjoying the holiday. Even if it’s only the two of you. Becca can decide if she’d like to contact her grandparents when she is old enough to make that decision, but it doesn’t sound like a good environment for her right now.” Steve says, looking down at his lap the whole time. When he finishes, he looks up at Bucky who has tears falling down his face. “Bucky? I’m sorry did I say something wrong?” Bucky just responds by hugging Steve tightly. Steve’s stomach feels full of butterflies, but he ignores it to comfort Bucky and hug him back.
“Steve, that was amazing. Thank you.” Bucky sniffles into Steve’s shoulder. Steve hums positively in response, squeezing Bucky tight. “I think I’m going to skip out on Thanksgiving this year. Have it here with just me and Becs. Unless you’d like to join us of course.”
Steve lets go of Bucky to look him in the eyes.
“Are you serious? You want me to be there?” Steve asks in disbelief.
“If you wanted to. Becca really likes you and so do I. It’d be better if you were there” Bucky scratches the back of his neck anxiously.
“I could probably come after I go to the avengers Thanksgiving. It’s only until three or four in the afternoon and then I’m all yours,” Steve smiles softly at Bucky.
“Sounds perfect,” Bucky smiles back.
…..
“Bucky! Are you in there?” Steve says after knocking and finding no response. He can hear Becca crying on the other side of the apartment, probably in her room. Suddenly the door flies open, revealing a distressed Bucky.
“Shit. Sorry I didn’t hear you knock!” Bucky says, running a hand over his face.
“It’s okay, Is everything alright? Sorry, super hearing. I can hear Becca crying,” Steve asks. Bucky’s eyes widened for a moment.
“I’m so sorry. She’s got a high fever and has been throwing up everywhere since yesterday afternoon and I haven’t slept at all,” Bucky sighs deeply. Steve can see the bags under his eyes.
“Do you want me to come help? I can take care of her while you get some rest” Steve offers immediately. Bucky looks up at Steve in shock.
“Are you serious?”
“Of course. I don’t have any plans the rest of the day and I want to help you” Steve lies. He was supposed to meet up with Sam for dinner but this is more important.
“Holy shit Steve thank you” Bucky hugs Steve. Bucky leads Steve to Becca’s room. She’s laying in bed. She’s super pale, and there’s a wet cloth on her forehead. “I’ve been trying to bring her fever down but nothings working. She’s at 101 right now.”
“I’ll try to bring it down. You go take a nap,” Steve shoos Bucky off. He stands for a moment before leaving the room.
“Stevie? Why’re you here?” Becca croaks. Steve’s heart breaks seeing Becca sick like this.
“To take care of my Sweet Pea. Your daddy went to take a nap so I’m going to take care of you, okay?” Steve pulls the cloth off of Becca’s forehead and places the back of his hand there instead. “Oh Sweet Pea, you’re really burning up,” Steve says.
“Thank you for helping Daddy, Stevie” Becca tries her best at her usual smile.
“Of course Sweet Pea” Steve smiles at her. “Why don’t we put you in the bath? It might help.”
Becca nods and Steve pulls her out of bed and carries her into the bathroom. He runs the bath at a lukewarm temperature and helps Becca get in.
“Tell me when it gets cold,” Steve says. Becca rests her eyes, laying in the bathtub.
They sit in silence for a while before Becca alerts Steve that the water is too cold. He dries her off and gets her back into bed, and she’s feeling a bit better.
“How is she doing?” Bucky’s voice comes from the doorway. Steve turns around, eyes landing on Bucky’s bare chest and messy hair. He must have just gotten out of bed. He’s wearing plaid pajama pants, and his hair is falling out of his bun. Steve thinks he looks gorgeous.
“She’s down to 100 on the fever. It might go back up before it breaks though.”
“Steve, thank you so much” Bucky says, walking over to Becca.
“Hey Baby. Do you want to lay on the couch and watch a movie with me?” Bucky kneels next to Becca and whispers into her ear. Becca nods and Bucky picks her up and carries her to the living room. He lays down on the couch, Becca on top of him.
“I’ll make you some food Buck,” Steve says, walking over to the kitchen before Bucky can answer. He makes Bucky some eggs and toast quickly and brings it over to the couch. Becca is falling asleep while watching Frozen.
“Thank you” Bucky whispers as Steve passes him the plate. Steve smiles in return and goes to clean up the kitchen. He spends the rest of the day caring for Becca (and Bucky). Bucky gets some more sleep and Becca’s fever doesn’t break. Steve goes back to his apartment for the night.
Steve hears loud banging on his apartment door, and shoots out of bed. He runs to the door and it swings open to reveal Bucky. He’s got tears running down his face and looks scared as hell.
“Steve! Becca she’s-“ he’s cut off by a sob. “She’s barely breathing, I don’t have my car. I need to get her to the hospital.” Steve quickly nods and runs over to Bucky’s apartment, flying by Bucky who’s behind him. He grabs Becca from bed, careful not to jostle her around too much. They run downstairs quickly and Bucky grabs Becca’s car seat from his apartment. Steve drives above the speed limit to get to the hospital while Bucky comforts Becca in the backseat.
…..
Becca was taken into a hospital room right when they got there and Bucky and Steve were asked to stay outside. It’s been 20 minutes and they haven’t seen her or a doctor for answers.
“Bucky it’s okay. She’s going to be fine,” Steve’s arms are wrapped around Bucky while he cries. The tears are slowing down, but he’s still panicking.
“I should have taken her when she had the fever for the first time. Just to be safe, I’m always extra safe with Becs. It’s my fault,” Bucky says into Steve’s shoulder.
“Bucky. It’s not your fault. You took care of her to the best of your ability and no one could have known this was going to happen,” Steve says. Then the door to Becca’s hospital room opens, and a doctor walks over to them.
“Are you guardians of Rebecca W. Barnes?” He asks.
“I am. He’s a friend” Bucky answers quickly. The doctor nods and flips the paper on his clipboard.
“She’s got pneumonia. It’s not severe and she should be completely fine. We need to keep her in the hospital for a couple of days, but it was caught very early on and the infection isn’t bad yet. Just a really bad flu basically,” the doctor explains. Bucky basically crumples in relief.
“Can I stay in her room with her while she’s here?” Bucky asks. “I can’t leave her.”
“Of course. Guardians and people allowed by guardians may stay in her room with her during her stay here. We ask that you let her rest.”
“Of course. Can I add Steve Rogers as a person allowed in her room?” Bucky immediately asks, without even a glance at Steve. It warms his heart that Bucky would trust him with Becca like this.
“Of course” the doctor says, nervously looking over at Steve. The doctor disappears back into the maze of hallways.
“I need to call out sick from work for the rest of the week. And Becca out of school” Bucky says, pulling his phone out. It’s about 5am on Monday now.
“Buck, you gotta slow down.” Steve covers Bucky’s hand with his own. He glances back to Steve. “You’re exhausted and stressed. We’re going to get you some food and a drink and then you can send those emails, okay?”
“Okay. Okay.” Bucky slides his phone back into his pocket, leaning into Steve, giving into his exhaustion. Steve sits him down and runs out of the room.
He’s back fifteen minutes later with sandwiches and coffee. Bucky eats his food and they head into Becca’s hospital room.
“Hi baby” Bucky says when he notices Becca’s eyes flutter open a few minutes later. She looks better. Less pale and a little more life in her. Steve could almost collapse in relief.
“Hi daddy!” She smiles at him. “Stevie you’re here too!” Becca says, turning her attention to the super soldier.
“Hey Sweet Pea” Steve answers with a smile. He’s so relieved that Becca is okay. If she wasn’t, he’s got Cho on speed dial and would make her okay.
“The nice nurse lady said I have nemonina” Becca tries to pronounce it. Steve snorts and Bucky lets out a huff to stop from laughing.
“pneumonia, baby. It’s pronounced pneumonia” he corrects as he pulls the blanket on her a bit more.
“Buck, do you want me to run back to your apartment and grab clothes and stuff for you?” Steve asks, placing his hand on Bucky’s shoulder.
“God, Steve you’re too perfect for this world” Bucky smiles tiredly at the other man. Steve ducks his head away so Bucky doesn’t see the redness in his cheeks. Bucky fishes his keys out of his pocket and hands them off. Steve heads back to the apartment, grabbing Bucky some clothing and other things he asked for. Steve gets back and Bucky looks tired. They hang out with Becca for most of the day before Steve decides Bucky should go home tonight.
“Buck, you should sleep at home tonight. I’ll bring you back. Becca will be okay.”
“I can’t leave-“
“Daddyyyy go sleep. I want my own room!” Becca whines. Bucky looks at her with wide eyes for a moment but agrees. They talk to the doctors and head out of the building.
“Steve?” Bucky breaks the silence of the car ride.
“Becca is going to be fine” Steve assumes he is about to ask to go back.
“That’s not it,” Bucky says. Steve glances at him before looking back at the road. “I just want to thank you. For everything. You’re so helpful with Becca even though you’ve got your own shit going on and I honestly have no idea why you decided being friends with me was a good idea” Bucky says, keeping his head down. His hair is sweeping into his face so Steve can’t see him in the light of the city. They’re sitting at a red light in traffic.
“Buck,” Steve says sweetly. His heart beats faster as he moves his hand over to Bucky and he tucks the man’s hair behind his ear. Bucky looks to Steve, and his hand is now placed to cradle Bucky’s face. Instead of pulling away, they both sit there, looking into eachothers eyes. Steve couldn’t tell you if Bucky was blushing because of the red light from the intersection. Suddenly the light turns green. They both pull away, eyes keeping on the road. The rest of the ride is silent.
….
Steve wakes up to a scream coming from Bucky’s apartment. He rushes over as fast as he can, bursting into Bucky’s room.
“Bucky? Are you okay?” Steve looks the room over quickly. There’s no signs of break in or intrusion.
“Fuck!” Bucky exclaims to no one in particular. “Sorry sorry I had a nightmare. They get worse when I’m worried or stressed. I’m okay” Bucky keeps his face hidden in his hand. Steve comes and sits down on Bucky’s bed.
“Are you sure?” Steve says quietly. He knows first hand that nightmares can really mess someone up. Especially Bucky, who’s been through tons of trauma from his time in the military and losing an arm.
“Yeah, yeah you can go back to your apartment if you want” Bucky says, shooing him off. Steve doesn’t leave.
“Do you want to go watch something? I usually end up watching some kids movies after a nightmare” Steve shyly admits. Bucky looks up at him for the first time, with a surprised expression. “What?”
“Do you have nightmares?” Bucky asks.
“Well I mean I’m an Avenger. Most of us have them. Plus war times and stuff. Lots of nightmare fuel” Steve explains, he’s surprised Bucky didn’t realize this already.
“Shit, sorry” Bucky says again.
“Do you want to watch that movie? I can leave-“
“No! Please no” Bucky says quickly. “I’m gonna be in my head if you leave. Movie?”
“Of course” Steve smiles softly. They head into the living room and Bucky grabs a bag of microwave popcorn while Steve waits on the couch. It’s about two in the morning.
Bucky comes into the room and plops down next to Steve, only about 5 inches away. Steve’s surprised for a moment, but recovers quickly.
“You got a movie idea, Rogers?” Bucky looks over at him, offering some popcorn. Steve takes a handful.
“How to train your dragon?” He suggests.
“I love that movie” Bucky smiles tiredly at Steve. They put the movie on and sit in silence, watching. They occasionally look over or apologize if they brush each other’s hands when grabbing more popcorn.
“Bucky?” Steve asks, looking to his shoulder. Bucky’s head just fell onto it, and he’s obviously asleep. Steve doesn’t bother waking him up and ends up falling asleep before the movie ends as well.
……
Steve opens his eyes, and he is met with Bucky’s living room once again. Memories of last night are coming back to him now.
“Morning Sunshine” Bucky says from the kitchen. Steve looks over and Bucky’s making pancakes and eggs. Bucky smirks at him before turning to continue.
“What are you laughing at?” Steve asks after Bucky lets out a snort.
“Look at your pajamas and tell me you wouldn’t be laughing” Bucky chuckles. Steve looks down at his shirt. He’s wearing a light blue t-shirt that says ‘America’s ass’ and pajama bottoms printed with a pattern of his shield. “Really? Didn’t know the avengers bought their own merch.”
“Tony got me it for Christmas. I don’t really own pajamas besides what he gets me for Christmas. It’s always some dumb gag” Steve explains, red filling his cheeks. Bucky laughs again. Steve would give up the heavens and earth to hear that sound everyday.
“Tell Tony I said thank you,” Bucky jokes. At that moment, Steve realizes he hasn’t told anyone but Sam about Bucky. “Do you mind dropping me off at the hospital?” Bucky asks. Steve leaves his thoughts.
“Of course. Do you mind if I come to see her too?” Steve asks.
“Never. Becs loves you” Bucky flips a pancake. Steve feels all warm and fuzzy at the mention of Becca’s fondness for him. He’d do anything for the kid.
“Great” Steve smiles. They eat breakfast and pack a few pancakes for Becca if she’s feeling up to it. They get ready and head to the hospital.
“Daddy! Stevie!” Becca says when Bucky and Steve finally walk into her room.
“Hey baby! How are you doing?” Bucky says, running over to her bed to give her a big hug.
“I’m good! Stevie, give me a hug!” She demands, reaching her arms out and opening and closing her hands.
“What do you say when asking for something?” Steve says.
“Please?” Becca rolls her eyes. Steve chuckles at her dramatics and gives her a gentle hug. “Pancakes!” Becca yells as Bucky grabs the container from his bag. She grabs a few and wolfs them down.
“At least I know she’s feeling better now” Bucky sighs happily from next to Steve. “I feel so dramatic about everything yesterday.”
“Buck, she was barely breathing.” Steve grabs Bucky’s good shoulder and turns Bucky to face him. “You had every right to be worried. Becca’s your daughter.” Bucky nods and swallows, ducking his head and hiding behind his hair. Suddenly, Steve’s phone is going off like crazy. “Shit.”
“Go save the world big guy” Bucky jokes. Steve can tell he’s actually worried, probably about the last time where Steve proved he can’t take care of himself. Steve runs off, the Quinjet picking him up on the way to the tower.
…..
Steve is gone for three days. Three days of worrying about Becca and Bucky. He’s a wreck.
“Man, are you good?” Sam asks him before they head out for another hydra base attack.
“It’s Bucky. Well it’s his daughter, Becca. She’s got pneumonia and I’m just worried. I was at the hospital with them when I got the call,” Steve explains, checking his phone once more to see any updates.
“Steve, it’s gonna be okay. She’s probably fine, right?” Sam asks, putting one hand on Steve’s shoulder and the other pushing Steve’s phone out of his face.
“She’s fine. She was okay when I left, but I’m worried about Bucky too. He’s a vet and gets nightmares a lot and I heard him wake up screaming a few days ago. He’s so stressed right now about Becca and I think me being on Avengers business is making him even more anxious” Steve is now tapping his fingers against his thigh.
“Does he get anxious when you’re on super hero duty?” Sam asks curiously.
“A lot. Last time we were gone for a few days he was outside my apartment the moment I got back even though it was like 1am. He wouldn’t leave until I was stitched up and asleep in bed” Steve rambles on, thoughts swimming with worries about the Barnes’s. Steve’s phone goes off, and he knows it’s Bucky.
Bucky: Is everything going okay?
Steve shows Sam the text.
“What do I say that will stop him from worrying?” Steve asks.
“You could send a selfie of you. He’ll see you aren’t majorly injured and only have a few bruises” Sam suggests, grabbing his wings from the corner. Steve agrees and snaps a quick photo to send.
Steve: Everything’s great! No injuries besides a few nasty bruises right now! Attachment: One Image
Bucky: Liked an image.
Bucky: Glad everything’s good. Becca is coming home tomorrow, see you soon!
“He seems less worried. Becca is getting discharged tomorrow so he should be less stressed” Steve explains to Sam as they get ready to exit the quinjet.
“I’m glad” Sam smiles before taking off on his wings.
…..
Steve gets home two days later. Once again, it’s late at night, about 2 am.
“Steve holy shit. Again?” Bucky says from the doorway. He’s holding Steve’s spare set of keys.
“Buck I’m fine. No big cuts I swear” Steve says tiredly. He’s just now noticing that he gave Bucky’s nickname a nickname and Bucky hasn’t even mentioned it once. He’s too tired to talk more.
“Let me check then” Bucky says, walking up to Steve and putting his hand on Steve’s forearm. The room is dark (Steve was planning on just going into his room and sleeping) but Bucky’s face is lit up by the cars passing. His light blue eyes are filled with worry and a bit of anger. Probably at Steve for being reckless.
“Fine fine” Steve gives in, sitting down on the couch and peeling his shirt off. Bucky turns a lamp on and checks Steve over, not finding any deep cuts or bad injuries.
“You look fine. Physically” Bucky says, sitting next to Steve. Steve lifts an eyebrow at him. “I mean, you look mentally beat. Are you okay?” Bucky says, looking Steve in the eyes. Steve’s never been a good liar, and there’s no way he gets away with anything.
“I’m usually really beat after missions. Just all the fighting. Physically with enemies and then verbally with the team. It’s just a lot.” Steve shoves his hands into his face and sighs.
“Have you ever thought about going to the VA? They can help.” Bucky says, pulling Steve’s hands away. He holds their hands between them.
“I go with my friend occasionally. Not as a member or anything though” Steve looks down at his lap.
“My friend Sam works there. He could help out a lot with everything you’re dealing with. If you want me to call him just ask.” Bucky squeezes Steve’s hands and lets go.
“Sam? Sam Wilson?” Steve asks, shocked.
“Yeah? Do you know him?” Now it’s Bucky’s turn to be confused.
“He’s my best friend. Bucky, he’s literally the falcon.” Steve is so confused on how Bucky wouldn’t know this, or why Sam didn’t mention knowing Bucky. Now all the odd reactions are making sense.
“Holy shit” Bucky breathes out. “I don’t watch the news. It ends up triggering some of my PTSD occasionally so I just avoid it” Bucky is staring at Steve, eyes wide and eyebrows crawling up his forehead.
“Oh my god” Steve groans and shoves his face into his hands.
“Let’s get you to bed. We can lecture Sam later” Bucky says, pulling himself and Steve off the couch. He lays Steve down and pulls the blankets over him. Steve once again feels something soft and warm quickly press against his forehead before drifting off.
….
“Sam! Holy shit you’re such an asshole!” Steve says the moment Sam picks up the phone.
“Did you two finally figure me out?” Sam chuckles like this is some sort of joke. Steve isn’t amused.
“Sam. I’m serious, what the hell? I’ve been basically drooling over someone and you knew them and didn’t mention it?” Steve says angrily. What if Sam had told Bucky about his crush and it completely ruined either friendship?
“Steve. I didn’t say anything about your not so little crush on him. That’s not my place to say anything man.” Steve is convinced Sam has mind reading powers sometimes.
“Thank you Sam. But seriously, did you have to keep it a secret?” Steve groans. Sam’s an asshole.
“It was funny man. Hearing about your experiences with each other” Sam says. Steve perks up at that.
“Bucky talks about me?” Steve asks instantly. Steve had never imagined Bucky would talk to someone about him the way he talks about Bucky.
“Bucky he’s… had a hard time meeting people since getting back. He puts Becca above everything else, you know? I’m his only friend’s outside of family and you” Sam explains quietly. It’s obvious Bucky has had some difficulties with people, but never to that extent. He seems like he’s friends with his colleagues too. Bucky’s so sweet, Steve can’t imagine people not wanting to be around him.
“Thank you Sam, I’ll talk to you later. I’ve got to get to training with Nat” Steve says, they exchange goodbyes and hang up the phone.
…..
“Stevie!” Becca shouts after opening the door. She’s in a light brown dress with a white bow on the back. She has a bow in her hand. “Can you help me do my hair? Daddy’s having trouble” Becca asks as Steve scoops her up.
“Of course Sweet Pea! Where’s a hairbrush?” He says, stepping inside. He’s wearing a navy blue sweater and light wash jeans. They’re not being fancy for Thanksgiving dinner as it’s only the three of them. Buckys nowhere to be seen.
“Can you put it in the bow please!” Becca shoves a hairbrush and bow into Steve’s hands. He nods and she plops down at the dining table for him to begin. Nat and Wanda sometimes teach Steve how to do hair, so it ends up pretty good.
“Thanks Stevie! You’re the best!” Becca hugs him. He chuckles and hugs her back.
“Fuck!” Steve hears Bucky shout from his bedroom. He immediately rushes into the room, finding Bucky standing at the mirror. He turns to Steve and blinks before apologizing. “Shit sorry, I’m just frustrated” Bucky says, putting his face into his hand.
“What’s wrong?” Steve walks over to Bucky and puts his hand on his shoulder.
“This is gonna sound so stupid” Bucky grumbles.
“Try me. I work with Clint Barton and Tony Stark” Bucky lets out a huff of a laugh.
“I can’t get my hair up,” Bucky mumbles. Steve’s super hearing allows for him to hear it.
“Why is that embarrassing?” Steve tilts his head slightly, looking at Bucky. The man has one arm, of course it’s hard to put his hair up.
“I can’t do anything myself with one arm,” Bucky sighs.
“Hey, you’re doing great, Buck. Let me help you” Steve says, reaching for the hair tie on Bucky’s hand.
“You want to put my hair up?” Bucky asks, surprised.
“Why not? If you want it up I’ll put it up. I did Becca’s hair a few minutes ago” Steve pulls the hair tie off Bucky’s hand. “Turn around so I can do it” Bucky turns without responding, Steve can hear him swallow.
“Thank you,” Bucky whispers. Steve hums in response, pulling Bucky’s hair into a ponytail. Bucky’s ears seem a little pink, but Steve doesn’t mention it.
“All done!” Steve says a moment later. He puts his hands on his hips and admires his work. Bucky looks in the mirror.
“Wow that looks great” Bucky comments, moving his hair in the ponytail.
“Natasha and Wanda have me do their hair sometimes” Steve shrugs. Bucky gives him an unreadable expression for a moment before Becca bursts in.
“Daddy! We’re twins!” Becca touches the small pony tail held by the bow on the back of her head.
“We are!” Bucky beams at his daughter and tickles her stomach. She squirms and giggles before running off and Bucky chases her. Steve watches them disappear out of the room. He loves them both so much he realizes. He’s in love with Bucky. He decides to text Sam.
Steve: Sam. I’m in love with Bucky.
Sam: good on you for noticing
Steve: Sam! I’m serious, what do I do?
Sam’s bubble pops up to indicate he’s typing, but Bucky peaks his head back into the room.
“Are you coming to eat or do you want to stand in my bathroom all day?” Bucky smirks at Steve.
“Oh sorry, coming” Steve pockets his phone and heads out of the room with Bucky.
Thanksgiving dinner is nice. They joke around, devouring tons of dinner and then dessert. They watch a movie after too. It ends around 8 pm and Becca is fast asleep.
“I can take her to bed if you want. You can stay here, it’ll only take a minute” Steve offers. Bucky looks at him with an expression Steve can’t really name.
“That would be amazing. Thanks Steve” Bucky says, handing her over gently. Steve carries her to her room, gently tucking her in before returning to the living room. Bucky is on his phone, slipping it back into his pocket when Steve comes in.
“Glad you came” Bucky smiles warmly at Steve while he turns the credits off the movie.
“I should probably get going, I’ve got to head to the tower tomorrow morning” Steve says, walking toward the door. Bucky looks like he wants to protest, but let Steve leave anyway. It almost makes Steve want to see into Bucky’s head.
Steve opens his phone for the first time since texting Sam. He’s got two new messages from him.
Sam: Tell him. Steve, you're going to regret it if you don’t.
Sam: don’t be a chicken, good luck
Steve stares at the messages for a moment. He doesn’t know if Bucky likes him like that, and doesn’t want to make it awkward for Becca’s sake. And his own, Bucky being his neighbor makes it so much harder.
Steve: I’ll try my best
He promises. Maybe to Sam, but maybe to himself too.
……
Bucky informs Steve he’s going to see his parents for Christmas. He isn’t excited, but feels guilty about not showing up for Thanksgiving. Steve tells him if he doesn’t want to go, he doesn’t have to. But if he’s sure it’s always his choice. He decides to go.
….
Bucky and Steve barely see each other in December. Apparently Bucky has some party at the VA, Becca has a few Christmas parties for friends too. Buckys is still working up until December 23rd but is leaving almost immediately to spend a few days with his parents. Steve’s not letting it upset him, but Sam swears he isn’t hiding it that well.
Steve spends the holidays with the avenger, going to Tony’s big party he has every year. On Christmas Eve he sleeps on his floor at the tower and spends all of Christmas with his family. Clint brings his kids, Scott too. He’s tried some of Thor’s asgardian liquor, and it was no surprise it got him a bit tipsy.
……
There’s a knock on Steve’s door on December 27th. Bucky came back yesterday, but Steve had expected him to be busy with the new year approaching. He opens the door. Becca and Bucky are on the other side.
“Stevie! I missed you!” Becca wraps her arms tightly around Steve.
“I missed you too Sweet Pea!” Steve says as he hoists her up onto his hip. She giggles and hugs him around the neck.
“Hey Steve. Sorry to bother but we wanted to know if you’d like to join us for dinner?” Bucky asks, looking at Steve and Becca with a warm fondness in his eyes.
“Sure, should I come over now?” Steve asks, hugging Becca back and putting her down when she starts to squirm.
“I still have to make it” Bucky chuckles and ducks his head away, embarrassed.
“I could help make it. I’m a huge cook” Steve offers. He loves cooking, and misses doing it often for the team.
“If you’re sure” Bucky lifts his head back up. They march over to Bucky’s apartment, making some pasta and meat sauce.
“Did you guys have fun with your family?” Steve asks when they’ve finally sat down for dinner. Bucky’s face drops for a moment but Becca interrupts.
“It was so fun! Grandpa was kind of being mean to Daddy though. Auntie Becca was there with my cousin Lucas and we played Legos with the ones he got for Christmas. We ate so much dessert!” Becca rants on for a few more minutes about her Christmas. Bucky stays silent, hiding behind his hair and eyes trained on his plate. “Did you do anything fun with your family Stevie?” Becca asks after she is finally finished.
“My friend had a huge Christmas Eve party and I went to it. And then I spent the night at his house and opened presents with my other friends in the morning” Steve smiles as he thinks about the avengers. They’re really family to him.
“You don’t have any family to spend it with?” Becca frowns.
“My friends are my family,” Steve explains to her. She doesn’t seem to fully understand, but she accepts the answer.
“Hey Becs, it’s time to go to bed” Bucky finally says. He leads Becca to her room and Steve decides to pick up dinner while he waits. He sits on the couch once he is finished.
Bucky comes back fifteen minutes later and looks at the clean table.
“Shit I didn’t even clean up, sorry,” Bucky says.
“It’s fine Buck. What really happened when you were with your parents?” Steve beckons him over to the couch. Bucky complies and plops down right next to Steve. His head drops onto Steve’s shoulder. Steve can feel his face heating up. The only time Bucky had ever done this before is in his sleep. Steve ignores his feelings so he can listen to Bucky.
“My dad at least waited until Becca was asleep but he screamed at me for hours on Christmas Eve” Bucky says quietly. “It was about anything he could find. My sexuality, joining the military, having a kid but it was mostly about Thanksgiving. It got really really heated. He-“ Bucky hiccups, cutting himself off. Steve wraps his arm around Bucky, squeezing him in support. Bucky latches onto Steve, crying for a moment before continuing. “He hit me. A couple times. First he just slapped me across the face, that’s what I’m used to. But he punched me a few times. It’s all a blur honestly. A lot of screaming, crying and hitting.” Bucky finishes.
“Oh Buck” Steve says. Wrapping his other arm around Bucky in a tight hug. Bucky’s arm stays wrapped around him, crying into his chest. “I’m so sorry. That wasn’t your fault, your dad shouldn’t be upset like that” Steve says quietly. “And he shouldn’t be hitting you for any reason.”
“It’s my fault though. I got a girl pregnant, I didn’t show up for Thanksgiving. I-“
“Buck.” Steve says, gently grabbing Bucky’s head and tilting it up so that he can look into his eyes. “Other people’s actions are never your fault. It’s their fault for reacting that way. You did what you believed to be right.” Steve says, eyes not faltering.
“Steve…” Bucky trails off. Steve’s hand is still on Bucky’s face, cupping his jaw. Bucky leans in, closing the distance between him and Steve. Their lips meet in a quick but tender kiss. “Fuck, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-“ Bucky says, quickly backing away from Steve. “Fuck I’m sorry” Bucky repeats, rubbing his hand over his face. “You should go” Bucky stands from the couch quickly.
“Bucky-“ Steve tries to start, but Bucky ushers him out of the apartment. The door closes behind him with a click and Steve is left confused in the hallway.
……
Steve doesn’t see Bucky for the next few days. He tries to go and talk to Bucky, but no one answers the door even when he can hear them inside. Bucky won’t answer texts or calls either.
“I don’t know what to do Sam” Steve says, taking a sip of his water. They just finished a morning run.
“Come to the VA new year party” Sam says.
“Why would that help me?” Steve asks.
“Bucky always goes and helps out at the VA for parties. His sister watches his daughter so it’s the perfect time to corner him. I know it doesn’t sound great, but you guys need to talk this out” Sam explains, laying in the grass at Steve’s feet.
“Okay” Steve agrees. He really doesn’t want to lose his friendship with Bucky, and maybe even the chance at something more.
….
“Are you sure this is going to work?” Steve asks as they get out of the car and walk up the steps to the VA.
“To be honest I don’t know but I think it’s our only option right now. I don’t see his car so I don’t know if he’s here yet” Sam opens the VA doors and enters after letting Steve through. There’s food, drinks (non alcoholic) and lots of decorations. A few members and staff are already there, chatting.
“Heya Captain” A man says behind them. They turn to see George. He’s a vet in his seventies, missing a leg but a tough guy nonetheless.
“Hello General” Steve smiles at the older man. George chuckles and walks over to the drinks.
Steve and Sam split, mingling amongst the other people there. Sam knows them all, and Steve knows most from the times he’s tagged along with Sam for a session or two. After around thirty minutes, Steve’s phone buzzes in his pocket. There’s a text from Sam.
Sam: Bucky’s here, I think he saw you though and he ran off. Might have gone home.
“Shit” Steve says under his breath “excuse me, I need to go take care of something” He points towards another room. The group he surrounded himself with nods and told him to do his thing. He runs off to Sam.
“I think he went outside. Might have driven off, don’t know” Sam says. Steve runs outside to see Bucky’s car disappearing into the night. He sighs, heading back inside. Sam looks over and Steve shakes his head. Sam’s face twists into a frown for a moment before continuing his conversation with one of the other volunteers.
“Sorry man, I’ll try to talk to him. Make sure you’re not down all night, we still have to go to Tony’s party. Sam says after he’s done conversing. Tony always throws a huge new year party (as he does every holiday) and obviously the other avengers were invited. The party at the VA ends around 7pm. It’s held in the afternoon so that any vets who may have PTSD can go home and get to sleep before people start fireworks.
Steve and Sam head out a little early so they aren’t late for Tony’s. It’s a more dressy party so the two left nicer outfits on Steve’s floor at the tower to change into before the party begins at eight.
“Sam, Steve! Glad you made it!” Tony says, walking over in his suit and glass of champagne in hand.
“Always” Sam says. Steve nods, trying not to think about Bucky.
“Aw Capsicle, have you been missing us?” Tony teases. Steve frowns. He’s been trying to ignore his homesickness and longing to go back to the tower because he knows living in Brooklyn again will be good for him. But man does he miss the team.
“I’m afraid not,” Steve smirks. It’s Tony’s turn to frown now before another guest walks in and he greets them.
Steve mingles with the other guests, catching up with Pepper or an avenger at different moments through the next few hours. Steve still isn’t feeling himself, and decides to head home at about eleven.
“No problem man. Text me if you need anything” Sam pats him on the shoulder before Steve exits via elevator. The ride home is about thirty minutes so he gets home around eleven thirty.
Steve sighs, undoing his tie and plopping down on the couch and turning on the ball drop. Almost immediately there is a knock on the door. He stands to his feet, walking over to the door. He doesn’t know who it could be. But when the door opens and he finds Bucky standing on the other side he couldn’t have hoped for anything else.
“I’m sorry” Bucky blurts out immediately.
“I think you’ve said that enough times, Buck,” Steve teases. Bucky looks at him surprised for a moment before recovering.
“I’ve been completely avoiding you and it’s totally my fault. I shouldn’t have kissed you or ran away earlier. I know I can’t avoid it forever. I didn’t even ask before I kissed you which is totally a jerk move-“
“Buck. You gave me plenty of time to pull away.” Steve says, finally taking his hand off the door handle.
“I know but that doesn’t mean anything-“
“Buck oh my god it’s okay-“
“Let me finish my sentences Steve!” Bucky shouts over him. “Wait what?”
“I said it’s okay. I would have pulled away if I wanted to” Steve clarifies. Bucky freezes for a moment.
“You mean you wanted me to kiss you?” Bucky asks again in disbelief.
“Since I saw you turn around to see Becca, yeah” Steve says. He can feel his face turning red as a tomato. He isn’t embarrassed though, Bucky’s face is mirroring his own. “Why don’t you come sit down,” Steve says, moving over for Bucky to make his way inside. They settle on opposite sides of the couch (which isn’t far because Steve is massive and the couch is quite small).
“Bucky, why didn’t you think I would have wanted to kiss you back? I would have moved away” Steve asks, breaking the silence.
“I don’t fucking know. I was scared I guess” Bucky hides behind his hair, avoiding Steve’s eyes.
“Scared of what?” Steve is confused now. Why would Bucky be scared?
“First of all, Steve you’re fucking gorgeous. You’re a twelve on a bad day. I’m a fucking mess. Single dad missing an arm-“
“Buck you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever met.” Steve interrupts. “I mean that. I wouldn’t give a shit if you were missing both arms. And being a dad? You have a child and you care so much about her.”
“Steve…” Bucky says shocked. “I’m scared because I haven’t dated since before even signing up for the military. Before my brain got fucked up. I was scared because I don’t want to affect Becs in any negative ways if I ever decided to date. Not that I assumed you would want to date me- it’s just no one wants to be the kid with two dads” Bucky sighs. Steve can understand his worries. Bringing Becca into a situation that would negatively affect her would be Bucky’s biggest issue with any of this.
“Buck I haven’t dated at all. It’s an entirely new concept to me. I’d love to date you, but I understand you always have to put Becca first. It’s what makes you such an amazing dad” Steve puts his hand on top of Bucky’s hand resting on the couch cushion between them.
“You didn’t date Peggy?” Bucky questions. Steve gets this a lot. Peggy and him obviously had feelings for each other, but never were able to date because of the war.
“War times. Never had the chance. I went into the ice and that was that” Steve looks up at Bucky, and he almost looks sorry.
“Guess I never thought about that” He says softly. “Wasn’t even sure you were into guys” Bucky adds with a chuckle.
“I wasn’t totally sure until I met you. Sam and Natasha are the only ones that know” Steve explains. Bucky nods.
“Steve, would you want to go out on a date?” Bucky asks nervously. Steve’s eyes widened for a moment.
“I thought you didn’t want to date for Becca’s sake?” Steve’s eyes lock onto Bucky’s. His face is dusted pink, Steve thinks it’s cute. He’s sure his face is mimicking Bucky’s anyway.
“Becca loves you, I don’t think it would really affect too much if we did” Bucky pulls at the fabric of the couch, moving his eyes off Steve.
“If that’s the case, I’d love to” Steve beams. Bucky lets out a soft chuckle and gives Steve a splitting smile.
“But if Becca is affected we end it. No questions.” Bucky adds firmly. Steve nods. It only makes sense.
“I haven’t done this before” Steve replies nervously. Their conversation is cut off by the beginning of the countdown until midnight.
“TEN” the TV shouts.
“Steve, you know the tradition to kiss someone at 12 right?” Bucky asks.
“NINE! EIGHT!”
“Of course I do,” Steve smiles.
“SEVEN! SIX!”
“Well then” Bucky moves closer.
“FIVE! FOUR! THREE!”
Steve places one hand to frame Bucky’s face, and the other rests on his hip.
“TWO!”
Bucky puts his arm around Steve’s neck.
“ONE!”
They both lean in and their lips meet. It’s short once again, but passionate. They both lean back, not far. They press their foreheads together, grinning like fools.
“Punk” Bucky grins, poking Steve in the neck.
“Jerk” Steve replies, with no real heat behind it.