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Two gay morons try surviving in motherfucking purgatory

Notes:

HIIII okay so I'm pretty sure only 2 people will read this because these are all OCs!! None of them are mine of course.

Now I have no idea which direction I'll go with this but I'll try to make it entertaining to read.

Oh, and you reading this, I know who you are, I know who you are, I know who you are.
👁️

Chapter 1: Late night walk

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

A gasp echoed through the crumbling dark building.

Nash was sitting up, breathing heavily. Another stupid nightmare, would he ever have peace at night in this cursed world? The cone bearing prick will just never leave him alone.

He let out a frustrated groan and looked around the ancient room. The walls were made of dark stone, cracks spread all over like spiderwebs. Broken remains of furniture were thrown everywhere. Tattered blinds swayed in the wind coming from two shattered windows. And the roof? Half of it had collapsed, revealing the black sky. Thousands of stars shimmered in the dark void above, sending a cold silvery light down on the ground.

At least the winged cunt decided to let him have the illusion of stars. He sighed, his eyes shifting to his right. There lied the chaotic jester, Hazard. He was curled up in a ball, huddled as close to Nash as possible. Hazards long white spiky hair covered half of his masked face. If somebody saw him from a distance they would probably mistake him for an albino hedgehog.

He looked so peaceful... at least one of them would get good sleep. Even when Nash sleeps through the entire night, Hazard is usually still snoring for another hour before waking up. No wonder he always has so much energy.

The ground was cold, even tho they slept on whatever rags and carpets they found, the chilling cold still seeped through. He lied down and closed his eyes, attempting to go back to sleep.

...

The wind whistled into the darkness. Scuttering of whatever critters living in this god forsaken place reverberated off the walls. Somewhere, water dripped down, droplet by droplet, each one sounding louder than the other.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Nash sat back up. He couldn't fall asleep. Some earplugs would really come in handy. But, even if he had any, he couldn't silence the buzzing of his own thoughts.

"Damn it all..." He mumbled under his breath. He just sat there for a while, thinking. After a bit he decided to go out for a walk. It usually helps him clear his mind a bit, although, going out at night isn't the safest activity. The creatures in this place are merciless, cold, and many of them hunt when the stars are out. But he couldn't care less.

One time, Hazard caught him going out at night. The jester wasn't particularly happy about it and wouldn't let him leave. He ended up convincing Nash to stay... more like clinging onto him until Nash gave up and went back to bed, but either way he succeeded.

Since then Nash learned to be sneaky about it. Well, not that sneaky. It's really difficult to wake Hazard up, the only reason he woke him up that one time was because a shitass crusty floorboard collapsed under Nash, making him fall and face plant into the ground. His nose was probably broken after that one.

Nash tried moving his right leg but found that something was holding it in place. Hazard had wrapped his tail around it.
"Oh c'mon" he said a little louder than intended, then started very, VERY, carefully unwrapping the tail. It felt warm and soft to the touch, so much so that he almost didn't want to let go.

Eventually he convinced himself to put the tail down and stood up. The floor was made of the same black rock used for the walls, so thankfully there was no risk of any creaking or faulty floorboards that could break at any second. Since they were at the very top floor of the building, he had to descend a few flights of stairs before finally getting to the main entrance. The door had long rotted away, its wooden remains sadly resting on the ground next to the opening.

He peeked outside, making sure the coast was clear. With no creatures in sight, he trudged out into the starlit streets. He appeared to be within an ancient abandoned city. All the buildings were dark, corroded and in various states of decay. Great spiralling towers and pillars stood in the midst of it all, most had been damaged or straight up collapsed. The city must've been buzzing with life hundreds, no, maybe thousands of years ago. Who knows how long it had been standing here for?

Nash walked down a cracked cement road which lead him to the outskirts of the city. As he left the place behind, the dead grass that filled the city turned into a dark shade of purple. It looked much more alive out in the open, it was as if a deadly plague had struck the structures behind him, killing any sort of life. Before him lay a vast expanse of empty fields, maybe a few remains of broken pillars there and there. He sat down onto the grass and just thought.

This place really is like purgatory, maybe even worse. The Limbo, she calls it. I would call it the ultimate torture realm... I get haunted in my dreams every night and have to constantly worry about all the things that could eat me. Well, Hazard more so. If I take my eyes off of him for too long he'll probably do something dumb within minutes. I genuinely can't tell if he's stupid or just wants attention. At least he manages to make my days here less excruciating. How he always keeps such a positive attitude, I have no idea but I'm glad I have him.

Suddenly he was ripped out of his thoughts when he felt something touch his shoulder. Without a second of hesitation he unholstered his shotgun and turned to face his attacker.

It turned out to be none other than Hazard. He let out a horrified squeak and jumped backwards. Nash lowered the shotgun and sighed "Hazard? What are you doing here?? I almost blew your damn head off, don't just sneak up on me".
Hazard seemed to have composed himself a bit and then responded "W- well you see, I noticed you leaving so I decided to follow you!"
He was behind me the whole time??? How'd I not hear a thing.. "Riight, and what woke you up this time.." He was sure he didn't make any sound. "Oh, uhm you were touching my tail."

Oh. THAT woke him up. Nash stayed silent after that, he didn't have a response.
Hazard's tail swished from side to side as he took two steps forward to snatch Nash's wrist. "Don't just sit and stare! C'mon get UP! Let's go back!!" He attempted to pull Nash up on his feet but kept failing miserably. Nash sighed once again and got up on his own "Okay okay, I'm going."

Hazard did a little jump of joy and then dragged him back to their temporary base.
....can't do shit in this damned place.

Notes:

HEYYY thanks for making it to the end, byy the way this was originally written as an angst alternate universe where everything goes to shit and that might be apparent in the writing of the first half of the chapter... 😭😭

I did end up giving into the gayness, I COULDN'T RESIST ANYMORE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAAAAAANDDDDDDDDDDD